Ep 173: The Vital Role Of A Parent: Getting Children School Ready & Supporting Their Journey Through Education

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Before we get into the usual
spill where I say hello everyone

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blah blah blah blah blah, just a
quick one.

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In a second this video will turn
off Hayden.

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Why?
Because I forgot to press record

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on the video cameras.
So if you're watching this, what

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I want you to do is the exact
time stamp when the video comes

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back, you leave that as a
comment down below and people

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might be thinking, why is
everyone leading us towards when

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Hayden talks about the terrible
twos?

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Let's find out.
Enjoy the episode.

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Hello, everyone.
Welcome back to another episode

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of Teach Sleep, Repeat.
My name is Dylan and my name's

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Hayden.
And today we're going to dive

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into something that has become
very much at the forefront of

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our minds over the last couple
of years, I think, which is all

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about when you have your own
child, what as a parent is your

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role in preparing them for
education, for school, for life.

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And yeah, I, I see, I see a lot
of things online, people getting

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angry when the government
suggests this might be the best

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thing for a child to be doing by
the time.

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Some of it's very reasonable.
Some of it I think's over the

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top.
So we're going to really dive

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into this episode, into what
advice there is, what the role

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of a parent is compared to the
role of a teacher going through

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the whole of the school journey.
But I just want to start off by

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throwing over to you, Hayden.
In general, what is the role of

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a parent when it comes to a
child's education?

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Well, I, I will ask that
question and just lay a tiny bit

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more context here, which is it
wasn't longer that me and you

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said since having our own
children, it has made us reflect

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on our career as teachers pre
children where we'd maybe cut

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parents a lot of slack because
we didn't understand the

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situation for not doing things
like reading, which we'll talk

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about now.
And we've kind of revisited that

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thought and thought actually, do
you know what?

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Maybe we were wrong and that
that's kind of what has sort of

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spurred this conversation
because ultimately we do have

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children now and there too, and
it's not going to be long before

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they're in school.
And we're obviously thinking, oh

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crikey, there's lots of stuff I
should be doing.

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So go back to your question
about what parents should be

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doing in general.
Firstly, we need to, and we said

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this in our last episode, go and
go back and watch the Q&A from

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Monday.
We need to eliminate this

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strange phenomenon that's going
around, which is parents saying

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I'm not an unpaid teacher.
That's the teacher's job.

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I'm not going to do any of this
stuff.

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As if, like, as if the parent
isn't almost like #1 the core,

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like role in that child's life.
And also not a teacher.

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Like, what do you mean you're
not a teacher?

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What are you doing if not
teaching your child literally

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everything ever about life?
Like that is what you're doing

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even passively?
Like maybe they're just

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misunderstanding the idea of
they think, oh, teaching is a

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thing you can only do in a
classroom.

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Is that well, it's not, is it?
You're always passively,

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sometimes actively teaching your
child thing.

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So I think the role of a parent
is as fundamentally as important

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as a teacher's role in terms of
teaching a child how to grow up,

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how to be a human in society.
More important, yeah.

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Yeah, not as important.
More important, I'm being kind

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by that.
No, no, no.

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Don't be kind.
Be realistic.

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That's the whole point of this.
You're the ultimate role.

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It's not equal.
It's not remotely equal on an

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individual child's basis.
That individual child should be

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learning much more from their
their parent than they are from

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their teacher.
It's not close.

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What are we doing?
Who are we kidding?

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The the vast majority of what a
child learns and what we can map

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out for their future in
education and their ability

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comes from those years where
they're not even in school yet.

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Does that.
Is that not enough evidence to

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shoot to prove to parents that
you are vital?

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You are absolutely the number
one source of teaching of

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education for your child,
especially in that early years

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period when we think about the
role of a parent compared to the

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role of a teacher.
A teacher slots in a teacher

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does something very important,
train very, very well and will

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give quality, quality input.
And you take their lead almost

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when it comes to the child being
in school.

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But you've got to look at it
holistically here, right?

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Yeah.
When I think about our children,

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my son is 2 years old, there's
not a reason in the world that

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he doesn't get rid to every day.
There's not a reason in the

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world that I don't sit and talk
to him every day and develop his

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speech.
That's teaching.

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And I think maybe some people
are getting confused when they

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say I'm not a teacher and they
think I'm not doing this

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worksheet except for the
homework, right?

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No, no, you are a teacher and
you are so important.

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And when we look at declining
literacy rates, declining rates

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of, you know, ability to speak,
why RSE is so important, there

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is only so much we can introduce
in school because it starts

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early.
And if parents aren't putting in

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that groundwork, don't get me
wrong, there's a lot of reasons

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why there's less time than ever
to be doing this for your child.

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Dual income households where
both parents have to work just

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to keep afloat.
But having had my child there,

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there is no excuse.
The first thing that happens is

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what he needs for his
development.

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That's the first thing.
Oh, I was at the cinema last

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night.
Cool read on the way to the

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cinema.
Oh, it had, it had dance club.

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Really important.
Active, healthy, fantastic.

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That's what my son might need
that to, to stay healthy.

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But he needs to read as well.
He needs to be counting.

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Importantly, he needs to have a
conversation.

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It the role of a parent cannot
be understated.

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It cannot be overstated.
Sorry, it can't be overstated.

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It's the most important thing.
And and like you said, even then

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I could tell you almost slipping
back into that.

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Oh, you know, it's it's about
the same.

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It's not.
The role of a parent is by far

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more important, especially in
the Azalea.

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So now you've obviously had Rory
and I've had River thinking back

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then to that initial context
that we were talking about the

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other day where we're like,
yeah, we should have a

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conversation about this where
you were saying earlier on in my

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career I would give parents way
more leeway and be like, yeah,

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yeah, yeah, it's fine.
What what fundamentally then do

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you think, what understanding of
did you have then that made you

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think when parents said, oh, no,
we didn't do any reading this

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week because of this.
And you were like, yeah, that's

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totally fine.
Just try and find some time.

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What's changed then?
Like what do you what did you

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think then?
What do you think now?

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Like?
Yeah, I think there's two things

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going on to break things down.
I do think there's two things

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going on.
The first thing that's going on

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is when anyone has their own
child, I think it does kick in

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for a lot of people.
You think, Oh my goodness, this

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is in my hands, This is in my
control.

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Like I am the person who is
caring for this other human

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being here.
And if anything, I always think

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I, I can't do enough for him.
I, I always think, oh, am I

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doing enough reading?
Are we talking enough?

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Am I doing something else when I
could be with him constantly

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doing this development,
etcetera.

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That's the first thing that
happens to everyone.

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But also you've, you've got to
look at it in the context of

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I've talked for 10 years.
I can tell when a child has had

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lots of input in their early
years and help and support and

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come from a supportive family in
that respect.

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I'm not blaming the child for
this and I'm not saying every

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single child with lots of input
does better.

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Every single child with less
input does worse.

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Please don't assume these
generalisations.

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However, in the whole population
and me having taught thousands

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of children, you do start to see
a trend.

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It's the reason why literacy is
dropping at the minute.

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Oh we can't talk about trends in
general.

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Yes we can.
It's dropping because there's

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less time being spent on
developing the children younger.

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Yeah, it's a fact.
On an individual level, you can

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nitpick all you want, whatever.
Don't care past caring now,

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because I've had my son and I
know what I will do for him to

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give him the best chance, not to
guarantee he'll be top of his

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class in reading, writing.
I will give him the best chance.

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And if there's barriers, SEND
needs, anything in the way,

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we'll come across that and we'll
fight that and we'll do that

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together.
But I'm going to give him the

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best chance for success.
Yeah, I agree.

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And I'm glad you sort of
approached the generalisations

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and the, and the fact that we're
talking about trends here,

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because I think I almost felt
like when we, when you started

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talking, I was like, oh God,
we're going to do a disdainment

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at some point because there will
be someone who's nitpicking just

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on the language we use.
So when we're talking about

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parents, we're talking about
anyone in a parenting role, OK.

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We're not, I'm not going to sit
there like do a formal letter

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every single time where it's
like parents and carers and and

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all this we're talking about.
Very important people.

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Very.
Important people who parent

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children.
Yeah, OK, the verb to parent.

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OK, that's what that's what
we're talking about.

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And when we're talking about
generally children, we are

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extremely hyper aware.
Like it would be very silly of

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us after attending the teaching
to not know that sometimes

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children have SEND, sometimes
children just simply don't fit

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the trend for literally any
other reason, maybe S&D, maybe

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something else like so just just
have that all in your mind.

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Like we're not just we're not
unaware of these things.

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We're not really naive to how
the world works.

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We're just talking about general
trends that are factually like

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you cannot argue that the
national rate for reading for

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pleasure has dropped
significantly.

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It's not like it's a small drop
and we can maybe make some

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guesses as to what it's enormous
drop.

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It's a massive drop.
And that's just one thing that

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sparked this idea of this
conversation about, OK, what is

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the parents role?
Because I'm seeing a massive

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rise online of parents saying,
yeah, screw school, we hate this

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school system and sometimes
legitimate reasons, but then

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saying I'm not going to teach my
kid anything.

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That's your job.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's take a

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step back because actually
that's not how it works.

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And that's probably probably a
huge contributing factor as to

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why we're having this discussion
in the 1st place about the fact

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that children are not getting
what they should get before they

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get to school, during school and
after school.

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Like it drives me crazy.
Isn't it sad when the thought of

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what people might think about
what you're saying has more of

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an impact on what conversations
you have than the literal

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outcomes of the kids in the I
pass caring?

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You see, it's it's nose diving.
We care so much about the next

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generation.
If someone gets a little bit

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upset because we said the thing
that makes them back, Oh, I'm

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I'm a parent and I try really
hard to read, try harder.

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Do it, just do it every single
night.

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And it this Oh, I'm holier than
thou because my what I'm about

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to say every single night, Rory,
every single night when he's

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going to bed, he will say to us,
Rory Reed, Rory, pick three

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books 12312 and he'll go and get
3 books every night.

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Do you think that happened by
accident?

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No, do you think he just
happened to be able to count to

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3 and pick three books and want
to read every evening?

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Was that potluck?
No, he doesn't come up to me and

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say, Rory, get a carbonara, eat
his carbonara in the bed.

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That would be random, right?
If he did that, it's because I

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said every night, it's carbonara
time, kid, which I installed him

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exactly.
It's time to eat spaghetti.

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It's bedtime.
The only reason every single

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night he says that is because
we've done it every single

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00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,280
night.
There have been days after days

226
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:04,400
after weeks after weeks where
Lauren and I have read a book to

227
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,600
him and he's not been
interested.

228
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:09,280
After the 5th time.
Very easy, could have been

229
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:09,800
asked.
No point.

230
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,520
No, there is a point.
There is a point because one day

231
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,440
he'll turn around, sit in your
lap and want to take it in.

232
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,000
One day he'll point to the
pictures.

233
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,640
He started pointing to pictures,
now making his own story up.

234
00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:20,960
Rabbit on the tractor.
Rabbit, go vroom.

235
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:22,920
Vroom.
It's not the word to say.

236
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:24,400
It doesn't matter.
He's reading.

237
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:27,040
It's only because we've put it
in front of him.

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00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:29,760
I've done it every single day.
Oh, I've done it every single

239
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,400
day for two years and my child
doesn't like it.

240
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,360
Well done.
That's all you can do.

241
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,840
Fantastic.
Keep doing it and it might not

242
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:36,680
work.
Yeah, exactly.

243
00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:39,840
But for 99% of people, you'll
end up happening.

244
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,600
What's happening to my son,
which is he likes reading.

245
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:46,040
So just play the odds.
That's what I'm saying here.

246
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:50,640
Play the odds, parents, please
just give it a go because it

247
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,080
might not work, but you know
what?

248
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,560
It probably will.
It's really weird because my

249
00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:57,280
guttural reaction listening to
us right now is it sounds

250
00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,600
because of just the way that
this narrative been pushed for

251
00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:01,880
decades.
It sounds unbelievably snobby.

252
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:03,960
It does.
It sounds snobby and like, oh,

253
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,320
like we couldn't possibly like
one-size-fits-all.

254
00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:08,720
And there's and there's, you've
got to do this one thing and

255
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:12,320
everyone's situation is fine.
I think the ultimate point here

256
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,880
to make is everyone's situation
is different and every child is

257
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:17,840
different.
So there are lots of factors as

258
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,040
to why it might not go perfectly
with the trends that we're

259
00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:21,040
talking about.
Like everything.

260
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:26,840
But like Dylan said, there are
simply factually too many

261
00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:31,240
situations where parents and
carers could be doing something

262
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,400
and are choosing not to do that
something.

263
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,760
Choosing not because of an
external factor, not because of

264
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:40,240
the child's individual needs.
It's there, they're just not

265
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,480
doing it.
That's realistically the only

266
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:46,440
reason why we'd see such an
enormous decline like this.

267
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:49,000
Wouldn't it has to be some sort
of societal change like that.

268
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:52,240
It's not that.
Suddenly the next generation of

269
00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:53,520
children are.
They're just being born

270
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:55,280
different.
And then it is so significant.

271
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:56,960
That's why it's dropped.
It's not that.

272
00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:58,960
Teachers haven't suddenly just
changed how they approach

273
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:00,080
reading.
OK?

274
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:01,440
It's not, it's not just been
sudden like that.

275
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:05,200
Do you know what you could point
to is the rise, the infinite

276
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:08,480
rise of social media and the
attention grabbing algorithms

277
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:11,560
that are affecting adults?
You have to look at yourself.

278
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:14,720
I've done it myself, by the way.
I know I get hooked in and I

279
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,960
spend too much time on my phone.
And I know for a fact that when

280
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,480
I do that, Rory gets less time
talking to me.

281
00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:24,760
Rory gets less time reading
right if we extrapolate that and

282
00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:27,320
I don't force myself to turn my
phone off and go and read with

283
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:29,120
him.
If I just let that happen and be

284
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,520
passive about it and then wonder
what on earth happened, My kid

285
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:34,680
doesn't want to read anymore.
Let's put two and two together

286
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:38,600
and don't have to blame parents
because these big tech companies

287
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:41,720
are ploughing billions into
getting your eyes on the screen

288
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,640
and rewiring you and literally
getting your chemicals in your

289
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:47,400
body to want dopamine quickly
and and make you do that right.

290
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:51,960
But that means that your child
gets less time looking at your

291
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:55,280
mouth move as you talk to them,
less time forming words and

292
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:58,560
sentences, less time hearing
stories which will have a

293
00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:00,080
detrimental effect effect on
them.

294
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,480
And it's a double effect because
ultimately as well, if you're in

295
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,440
a situation where they're
constantly looking at you doing

296
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,520
that on your phone and you're
not interested in the book and

297
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,200
you're interested in the
algorithm on your phone, they

298
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,000
are also just picking up that,
oh, that thing's more

299
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,320
interesting.
And then we then we wonder why

300
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:16,040
you give it five years and we
see so many kids 5678, you know,

301
00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:20,200
whatever age who are absolutely
already totally, totally

302
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,560
addicted to social media and
totally addicted to the

303
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:24,960
algorithms.
Basically just YouTube Shorts,

304
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,040
Instagram reels, whatever they
can get their hands on.

305
00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,040
Even when we put age
restrictions in place, let's be

306
00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:31,960
honest, so many people just
don't just completely disregard

307
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,640
it or they'll have YouTube Kids
and it's still just, you know,

308
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:36,360
for their age, but it's still
just algorithm.

309
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:37,520
Scroll scroll scroll scroll
scroll.

310
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:38,880
It can still be very much
nonsense.

311
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,440
Very different experience to
reading a book.

312
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,400
Yeah, it is very different.
And then we go, oh, well,

313
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:43,440
that's.
They're not into reading.

314
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:45,480
Yeah, they're not into.
They're not into reading because

315
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:48,280
you've let them for the last
three years scroll on YouTube

316
00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:50,360
because you also do that.
And you wanted to scroll on your

317
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:51,440
phone.
And the thing you can get them

318
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,560
to do because they're interested
in what you're doing is also

319
00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:54,800
scroll.
And then you've created this

320
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,680
situation.
It can be avoided.

321
00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:57,800
Is the point.
Is it tough?

322
00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,520
Yes.
It's unbelievably tough.

323
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:03,520
Billionaires are spending
trillions of pounds getting you

324
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,640
addicted to this stuff from
making your kids addicted to it,

325
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:08,480
because they profit off of it.
They make money off of it.

326
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:11,080
So of course it's, it's probably
as hard as it ever could be

327
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,720
because so much money has gone
into the profiteering side of

328
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:17,680
making you, making you that way.
But you just have to acknowledge

329
00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:19,080
it.
It's still, it is still

330
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:22,240
ultimately not an excuse.
It's a reason.

331
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:26,160
You can say this is the reason
why the situation exists, but

332
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,360
you can't then use that to
excuse it.

333
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,120
No, completely.
That's the difference we're

334
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,240
trying to make, I think.
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely

335
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:35,160
that.
And it, it permeates, doesn't

336
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:36,440
it?
Like the role of a parent.

337
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,320
We talked about in general that
I think it's really important

338
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,680
what you're saying and
everything to do reading,

339
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,440
etcetera and education, but also
behaviour.

340
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:46,640
Like I see it myself.
I've gone to how many different

341
00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:49,160
clubs with Rory, right?
We go to football club, he goes

342
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:52,040
to he's done some dancing clubs,
he's done some century clubs.

343
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,520
Like very lucky boy, he gets to
do all these experiences, but

344
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,760
giving them that enrichment.
Not everyone can afford to do

345
00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:59,080
that.
But you know, even at the like

346
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:00,960
he's done loads of free
activities that cost nothing,

347
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:02,200
right?
That's not my point.

348
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:06,800
My point here is I've seen other
parents with other children who

349
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:10,840
simply aren't enforcing any kind
of understanding of being

350
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:15,360
polite, having boundaries,
listening to other people taking

351
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,680
things in.
And I've, I've seen it before.

352
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,520
We've been we've been to
football coaching before where

353
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,680
the coach has said, right,
everyone go and sit down and

354
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:26,960
listening ears on and kids are
running around shouting and

355
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,600
screaming and the poor coaches,
they're saying, all right, come

356
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:30,720
on, get back to your parents,
kids.

357
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:32,520
What are the.
The parents could not be less

358
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:33,520
interested.
Yeah, yeah.

359
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,120
Just sat there laughing.
What's he like?

360
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:39,760
Because you're not remotely
telling him to listen.

361
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:43,000
It's not easy being a parent.
Oh, I can't well, we can't do

362
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:43,720
that.
He doesn't want to.

363
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,120
That's why gentle parenting.
It's a bad, bad name because

364
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,160
people think of that.
People think of parents who are

365
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:50,480
like, oh, no, oh, look at him.
What's he like running around

366
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:52,720
when you've asked him to stop?
You're his dad.

367
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,800
Yeah, yeah, get him to stop,
pull him over.

368
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:58,360
And if he certainly he doesn't
like it, he'll soon learn that

369
00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:00,560
you've got to have boundaries
and you've got to listen.

370
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:04,560
And what gentle parenting is, is
at that stage not maybe smacking

371
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:06,920
them and yelling at them, right?
That's what gentle parenting

372
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,480
isn't.
Don't have boundaries for your

373
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:09,720
kids.
Gentle parenting is actually

374
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:12,640
hilarious if you actually anyone
just spend more than 5 seconds

375
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,080
reading about it rather than
looking at Instagram.

376
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,440
Real someone saying someone from
the 60s saying gentle parenting

377
00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:17,400
is really bad.
I didn't do this.

378
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,280
They probably did.
They might have done, they might

379
00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:20,280
have done, they might not even
realise.

380
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:22,000
It or they hit them around the.
Head or they or they didn't

381
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,400
yeah, but a lot of people do
gentle parenting didn't realise

382
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,200
they're doing it because mental
parenting is about setting

383
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,240
boundaries and being really
clear and firm, but also

384
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,120
modelling.
Modelling emotional.

385
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:33,400
What's the word emotional like
security in yourself like

386
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:35,240
control.
Yeah, emotional control,

387
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:36,560
regulation.
That's what I was looking for

388
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,040
yeah.
That's what it's about anyway.

389
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,600
But that's that's almost a
separate no.

390
00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:43,160
But it's but, but it's not a
separate point because if we're

391
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,000
talking about the role of a
parent, that's part of

392
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,600
education, that's part of
society, right?

393
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,440
Let's not just box education as
doing your sums and doing your

394
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:51,840
reading, although it's really
important.

395
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:55,520
Also in those early formative
years, you have to teach your

396
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:58,320
child like, and people
underestimate kids all the time.

397
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:00,520
Kids pick up and stuff so
quickly.

398
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,800
We're always 2.
And he knows what listening is

399
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:05,440
are like, yeah, mate.
People always joke and say, oh,

400
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:06,640
you can tell he's a teacher's
kid.

401
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,839
Yeah.
But also because it's not just

402
00:17:10,839 --> 00:17:12,960
random.
It's not just teachers had a kid

403
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:14,480
and then suddenly the kid knows
what listening is.

404
00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:17,200
Are I've taught him?
We've taught him.

405
00:17:17,319 --> 00:17:18,839
Does he get stuff wrong?
Yes.

406
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,319
Does he cry and moan?
Yes.

407
00:17:20,319 --> 00:17:21,800
Yeah.
Does he sometimes not want to do

408
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:22,680
things?
Yes.

409
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,800
But it's my job to teach him.
Yeah.

410
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:29,200
Exactly how to behave?
We river is like she's and firm.

411
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:30,960
You know people call the
terrible twos and I understand

412
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,560
why terrible is because 2 is
when their brain starts

413
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,960
exploding with emotion and
everything, everything starts

414
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,680
becoming realtor and they're
learning everything for the

415
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,120
first time.
Terrible twos Is that when you

416
00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:40,280
forget to press record?
Is that somehow when you

417
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,920
terrible 2 terrible 2 didn't
press record on the two cameras

418
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,880
Is that terrible twos?
Yeah, Terrible 2 cameras not

419
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:46,880
turned on as a. 1st for
everything Dylan as a first

420
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:48,760
thing and.
So wait, do you find a new first

421
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:51,040
every week somehow?
That was the first time that's

422
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:52,280
happened.
First time this happened.

423
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,800
I mean, it's the first time 100
things happened in a row, yeah.

424
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:56,560
That is the first time that's
happened, yeah.

425
00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:59,440
Do you know it's it's it's fine,
because it's not like we had so

426
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,880
many succulent moments for reals
that we could put out there,

427
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,960
which we'll never see a live
there now just for you, the

428
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,880
podcast this and you watch the
thumbnail for a bit.

429
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:09,160
Hope you enjoyed that.
You've got us now.

430
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:10,920
Absolutely.
We're back on, we're back on Cam

431
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,720
baby.
But yeah, normally we'd restart

432
00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:14,480
that, but we just thought it's
such a conversation.

433
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:15,800
We can't.
We can't restart that.

434
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:17,120
Terrible twos though.
Terrible twos.

435
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:19,040
Anyway, what was I saying?
So yeah, terrible twos.

436
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:22,320
Weird term because realistically
I was always terrible. 2 was a

437
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:26,320
stupid generalisation but
anyway, so River goes the

438
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:28,720
nursery, right?
And she is really, really

439
00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:29,920
starting to push boundaries at
home.

440
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,640
And the point I like to make
when I'm talking to my family,

441
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,200
talk to Lauren, everyone about
boundaries, is when she's at

442
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,240
nursery there are certain things
that she will do and she will

443
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:40,480
not push the boundaries a bit.
And when she's at home, she'll

444
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:43,720
do the same thing but push the
boundaries and it's so easy.

445
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,720
It's so easy as a parent to cave
genuinely.

446
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:52,480
The other day we spent 45
minutes, 45 minutes not caving

447
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:56,000
when it would have been really
easy to because she wants us to

448
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,240
do things for her that she can
do very, very easy herself.

449
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,000
And literally it was pulling up
her trousers.

450
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,720
All she has to do is pull up her
trousers.

451
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,000
She does it in nursery without a
doubt.

452
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,840
She goes to the toilet, pull up
her trousers and she goes no,

453
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,160
no, you do it.
No, no, you can pull up your

454
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:07,800
trousers.
That's fine.

455
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,760
And she refused for 45 minutes
to do that.

456
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,560
And I, and I had to pop out as
well, annoyingly after like 20

457
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:15,000
minutes because I had to drop a
laptop to someone.

458
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,200
And I said to Lauren, I was
like, please, standard, please

459
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:18,800
don't cave.
Yeah, it's all on you now, but

460
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,440
please don't cave.
I know this is ironic from me.

461
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:21,880
I'm the person leaving please.
And she didn't.

462
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:25,120
And when I got back, still going
and then she decided at one

463
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:27,400
point just go, oh, pull trousers
up and carry on as if it was

464
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,440
nothing.
And it's a silly example, I

465
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,280
know.
But like the point is as a as a

466
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,040
parent, you are teaching lots of
things.

467
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,360
And in that situation, there it
was.

468
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:39,400
It was I'm teaching you is about
behaviour, but being social,

469
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,600
being responsible for yourself.
And it would have been way

470
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,680
easier, way easier to just pull
them up for her.

471
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,920
I will try it another time.
All I would have done there is

472
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:50,240
reinforce the idea that at home
she doesn't have to, she doesn't

473
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:51,720
have to buy by certain rules or
boundaries.

474
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:54,120
We'll just do it for her.
And then and then you get a

475
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:56,880
spoiled kid.
You know, you think when they

476
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:58,200
grow up, I don't want them to be
that kid.

477
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,480
I don't want them to think that
I take everything for granted

478
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,520
and I can just get this or I can
just go to mummy and daddy and

479
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:04,560
they will just.
Sort the issue out for me.

480
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,360
Like you, basically, we
shouldn't learn me and Daddy.

481
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,000
Yeah, no, but in all
seriousness, as, as as a

482
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,240
teacher, there are certain kids
where over the years they've

483
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,120
done something wrong,
categorically wrong.

484
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:14,600
There's no argument about it.
They've gone home.

485
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,240
They've got their parents to
come in and complain and

486
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,320
basically lie for them and say
no, they didn't do this.

487
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,880
They'd never do that.
What are you talking about?

488
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,560
Yes, they did.
I saw it with my own eyes.

489
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:25,320
Why are you telling me that?
Oh, my child doesn't lie.

490
00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:27,480
Yes, they do.
You've just.

491
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,680
You've not like you've pandered.
You've pandered too long.

492
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:31,360
Too long.
And now, Now they don't behave

493
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:33,520
correctly in social situations,
including school.

494
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:35,920
It's not good.
No, it's frustrating.

495
00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:38,920
And I think we can summarise
this whole thing up right now

496
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,560
with how important parents are
right when we're comparing it to

497
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,280
education, etcetera, and how the
early years are so formative in

498
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,760
everything, whether it's
education, social aspects, blah,

499
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:50,440
blah, blah.
The easy route is often not the

500
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,520
best route.
And, and I can see why it's the

501
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:55,560
path of least resistance is
usually hard to do from a hard

502
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:56,800
to do that.
I'll just let them run around.

503
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,360
I can't be bothered with the
meltdown in case you've done

504
00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:00,920
them.
The the hard route is often the

505
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:04,280
best for the child.
And, and it can just be, you

506
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,480
know.
Oh, you're blaming parents.

507
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,200
Yeah, yeah, sometimes.
Yeah.

508
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:13,560
Yeah, I am actually, because you
chose the easy route and that's

509
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,680
bad for the child.
So what I thought we could do

510
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:19,080
now, I saw a lot recently from
the government talking about

511
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:22,240
being school ready for every
reason we've already explained,

512
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,520
you can imagine some of the
backlash.

513
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:26,040
What is school ready?
School ready is different for

514
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:29,800
every child.
Yes, of course it is, But just

515
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:34,080
to let everyone know this was
guidance and they released well,

516
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,760
they kind of it was created
collaboratively by a bunch of

517
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,120
people.
You've got CBBS in here,

518
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:41,600
parenting parent kind Ark star.
There's loads of different

519
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:45,160
actual expert people who've come
together to say if you want to

520
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,320
get ready for reception, this is
what you should be doing with

521
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,320
your child beforehand.
It's supported by loads of

522
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:51,160
people makes sense,
universities, etcetera.

523
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:52,880
It's just a fact.
OK.

524
00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:56,040
And it what I will say before we
go into what's actually on this

525
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:59,080
is one of the very, very let me
let me read you the first

526
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:00,400
sentence of this guidance,
right?

527
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,840
We understand that all children
develop at their own pace and

528
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:04,920
that we're all learning from
birth.

529
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:09,720
OK, there we go.
So when someone comments and

530
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:13,360
they're saying my child doesn't
suit this thing, they've just

531
00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:15,560
not read the first.
Sentence My child was counting

532
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:17,480
by two days old.
OK.

533
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:19,120
Equally, you've not read this,
you've not read, you've not,

534
00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:22,080
you've not read the first
sentence which acknowledges it's

535
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:25,240
the disclaimer that we did
earlier, which is we know that

536
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:28,160
people are different, but there
are huge trends and we're going

537
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,560
to talk about the trends.
Second, second sentence.

538
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,880
When it's time to start school,
some children will need more

539
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:35,760
help than others.
Yes, yes.

540
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:39,200
So, so look, anything here you
go on to read some.

541
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,520
And you think, well, my child
can't put their coat on by

542
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:43,840
themselves.
I know, I know.

543
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:48,480
But obviously if we could pick,
they would be able to do that.

544
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:50,080
Right.
And I can't write this guidance

545
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,280
for every single child
individually.

546
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:56,840
Honestly, there are key skills
that schools expect children to

547
00:22:56,840 --> 00:23:00,160
be learning before their first
day note, to be learning not to

548
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,440
be amazing at and be able to
definitely do all of you all the

549
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:04,200
time.
Anyway, I'm going to skip past

550
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:06,200
all that because this couldn't
be more clear.

551
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:07,760
There's even a section
underneath.

552
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,680
What if my child has additional
needs?

553
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:11,960
All of this is before we
actually get to the document.

554
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,360
So let me just be really clear
to anyone listening right now

555
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:18,000
who get got triggered by this.
Genuinely why?

556
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:21,760
Like do you want this to not
exist or do you want it to be

557
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:24,520
75,000 pages long for every
individual child in the whole

558
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:25,880
country?
Yeah, and then no one reads.

559
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,120
It it's guidance, yeah.
OK.

560
00:23:27,120 --> 00:23:29,640
So let's just get that clear
from your point of view.

561
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,800
Yeah.
What kind of things, and I'm

562
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,360
talking on the macro level here,
like what kind of things do you

563
00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:39,760
think children should be focused
on learning before they go to

564
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:43,360
school, for example, Let's just
say for a minute you could say

565
00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:45,920
education would be one kind of
thing, like learning things.

566
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:47,640
It does break it down a bit
more.

567
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,440
I'll give you the first one to
give an example.

568
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:49,800
Yeah.
Yeah.

569
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:52,080
Building relationships and
communicating.

570
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,640
Yeah, sure.
So, so communicating and, you

571
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:57,480
know, talking between people,
that's one key aspect here.

572
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:58,320
It breaks it down.
Yeah.

573
00:23:58,320 --> 00:23:59,080
Yeah, yeah.
What else?

574
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:00,760
Do you think, OK, that yeah,
that's really interesting, like

575
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:02,320
the category.
So yeah, definitely some sort of

576
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,080
social interactions before
they're about to be in a

577
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:05,680
classroom of potentially 32
kids.

578
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:07,600
It does make sense to them to
have spoke to another as a child

579
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:08,800
before then.
Definitely.

580
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,040
I think I always think of like
motor skills.

581
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:13,000
So fine motor skills, gross
motor skills, physical

582
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,320
development, right.
I even though I still think

583
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:17,120
really they're going to get the
bulk of that at school because

584
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:18,440
we've got all the amazing
equipment.

585
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:20,160
I get that.
But there is definitely in this

586
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:21,200
guide.
I'm hoping in this guidance,

587
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,080
like you just said, there is
going to be something here of

588
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:25,000
here are some things you could
do to help develop their fine

589
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,840
motor skills because they are
going to be picking up pens and

590
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,280
pencils at school and quite
quickly be expected to use them

591
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:30,640
for something.
Sure do that.

592
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:32,880
And also gross motor skills,
like just literally the

593
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,160
expensive jumping.
Yeah, we'll come to them.

594
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,680
So you've got physical
development and and building

595
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:39,280
relationships.
There's two more, I think

596
00:24:39,360 --> 00:24:41,720
cognitive stuff, so.
Well, to cognitive I think is

597
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:43,200
coming in communication and
stuff.

598
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:44,520
It doesn't go into that.
Oh, interesting.

599
00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:46,800
Sorry.
Like the more like pastoral

600
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,400
stuff like can they go to the
toilet growing independence,

601
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:50,800
independence.
So it comes down there great.

602
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,920
Like you said, you know, pulling
up your own pants, etcetera.

603
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,280
To be clear, I have not seen
this document.

604
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:55,360
Yeah, you did it this way on
purpose.

605
00:24:55,360 --> 00:24:56,640
So you.
Can have this to expose you

606
00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:57,440
here.
So we've got growing

607
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,920
independence, building
relationships and communicating

608
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:02,920
physical development.
And there's one more on here.

609
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:06,160
I think you've literally
mentioned it today to me.

610
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:08,120
Like, is that the role of the
teacher or not?

611
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:09,360
Oh, I can't.
I don't know.

612
00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:10,880
Go on, just tell me healthy
routines.

613
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,600
Brush, brushing, brushing your
teeth, et cetera, eating right

614
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,360
food and all that kind of stuff.
So, so, yeah, it doesn't even

615
00:25:16,360 --> 00:25:18,480
just say explicitly number bonds
to 10.

616
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,440
Yeah, because that's not what
that's that's not what this is.

617
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,120
No reading very much comes in
with communication because that

618
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:26,360
that act of reading and telling
a story and talking to you like

619
00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:27,840
what's going on, that's all
part.

620
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:29,960
Of communication, I'm glad.
So that, yeah, no, no, that's,

621
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:32,520
that's what it mean by, we'll
say communicating a language,

622
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,160
right?
Like reading is all about

623
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:35,400
language.
That's the most important thing

624
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,200
in the world.
It's so intrinsically linked

625
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:39,680
with the most human skill at
all.

626
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:41,880
You think about what separates
us is our language.

627
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,120
Communication, yeah.
So yeah, I thought it was very

628
00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:45,440
interesting.
I'm going to read you some here.

629
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:49,400
I'm going to whisk through them
and just see if anything jumps

630
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,360
out of you after I've gone
through a whole section, maybe

631
00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:53,280
because you think it's really
necessary or maybe not.

632
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:55,320
We'll talk about it from there.
So let me wish through this.

633
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:57,600
This is growing independence.
So this is from the government

634
00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:00,800
document what children should be
trying to learn to try and be

635
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,080
school ready to get to get
there.

636
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,960
Putting on and taking off their
coat and their shoes, using the

637
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:07,480
toilet and washing their hands,
getting dressed with as little

638
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:10,840
help as possible, using cutlery
and drinking from an open cup.

639
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,400
Spending time away from you and
learning they can be looked

640
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,920
after by other caring adults.
Then it's got a bit about

641
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:19,160
playing curiosity, taking part
in imaginative play, drawing,

642
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,840
painting, colouring, sticking,
sharing storybooks with

643
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:24,720
caregivers, looking at pictures,
talking about the characters,

644
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:28,200
exploring the world around them,
looking closely at nature or the

645
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,960
world or bugs or creatures and
things like that.

646
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,240
And.
Objects, so all that to me,

647
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,400
there's two things that like
were screaming out in my head

648
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:35,680
there.
The first thing was the first

649
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:37,160
few of to me were like
safeguarding.

650
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:40,280
It's like in terms of like, of
course we'd rather children

651
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:41,520
being able to go to the toilet
themselves.

652
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,440
Of course, you'd rather than
being able to put a coat on and

653
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,160
stuff because it just does
genuinely, and that sounds

654
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:47,640
really cynical, but it does just
literally avoid the the

655
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:51,760
necessity of, of adults who
aren't parents having to do

656
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,600
those things with children.
It just reduces risk on average.

657
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,240
You know what I mean?
So that just makes sense to me.

658
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,800
And then the other stuff is all
about it's getting them school

659
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,560
ready in terms of can they just
be away from you and will they

660
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:04,520
fit into that environment?
Is there anything you can do?

661
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,680
Yeah, exactly.
Independently, but also

662
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:10,120
specifically in a school setup,
if you can do these things with

663
00:27:10,120 --> 00:27:12,640
them, which basically everything
else on that list, it will just

664
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:15,040
make their time a bit easier and
they'll settle in, hopefully

665
00:27:15,120 --> 00:27:16,240
easier.
It's about settling in.

666
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,720
It's not even about like
replacing what a teacher does.

667
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:22,840
It's just give your child the
best chance of enjoying school.

668
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:24,680
That's what that screams out to
me.

669
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:28,120
And I look at this list, there's
nothing in this list that I

670
00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:31,400
don't think.
Oh, I already of course do that.

671
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:35,080
Teaching him how to drink from
an open cup, using a knife and

672
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:38,720
fork, taking part in imaginative
play, drawing, painting,

673
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:41,640
colouring.
That's sort that to me is just

674
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:43,840
having your own child.
What do you do with?

675
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,280
2 year olds, what do you do?
With two year old, Yeah.

676
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:49,720
So there's nothing here that I
think you ask me to do this.

677
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:52,720
I'm not a bloody sorry.
That's just the bare minimum

678
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:53,680
and.
You've got to remember this is

679
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,280
by school age as well.
Yeah.

680
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:56,480
You're talking about your two
year old.

681
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:58,240
Yeah, yeah.
He's got, based on where he's

682
00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:00,440
born in a year, he's got like
nearly three years until he goes

683
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,840
to school.
So I'd absolutely hope that your

684
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:04,800
4 year old version of your
child, even if you hadn't done

685
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:06,720
it then, would be like trying to
drink out of a cup by then.

686
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:07,720
And.
Well, like what?

687
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,080
We had his two year review
recently and a lot of this

688
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:12,800
stuff's on your two year review.
Kind of drink from an open cup.

689
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,640
Yeah, like climbing and stuff
coming to physical.

690
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:16,920
He's climbing everything right
now.

691
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:18,520
Let's keep going.
Let's go to the next one.

692
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,840
So this is building
relationships and communicating.

693
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:22,360
So I'll read through all these
again quickly.

694
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:26,320
Being with others, so practising
sharing and taking turns.

695
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:28,680
Talking to them about how
they're feeling and why.

696
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,000
Looking at storybooks together
and speaking about what the

697
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,360
characters are feeling.
Beginning to recognise what

698
00:28:33,360 --> 00:28:35,680
others are feeling.
Encouraging them to set

699
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:37,560
boundaries for themselves and
others.

700
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:40,600
Communication and language.
Singing along with songs and

701
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:42,920
nursery rhymes.
Talking happily to others about

702
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:44,840
activities and experiences in
the world around them.

703
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:48,600
Showing they need help by
speaking clearly.

704
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,200
Recognising the pattern of their
name.

705
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:53,920
Listening and engaging.
Paying attention for short

706
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:55,840
periods of time.
Listening to and following

707
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:58,160
simple instructions.
Carrying on with a task even

708
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:00,560
when it's difficult and bouncing
back when things go wrong.

709
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,160
It's just common.
Sense is this not just being a

710
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:04,680
human?
Yeah, yeah, genuinely it.

711
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,440
Feels like common sense again.
Am I being a snob for thinking

712
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:08,400
that's common sense?
Do you know what?

713
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:09,960
Probably, maybe some of those
things might not come.

714
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:13,080
To mind someone say OK oh it
says here showing they need help

715
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:14,800
by speaking clearly.
My child can't speak.

716
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:17,280
OK.
Yeah.

717
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,040
What do you think I'm saying?
Well, that well, that kids not

718
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:22,320
ready for school.
It's not what we're saying No,

719
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:24,560
no.
If a child is able to do we put

720
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:26,160
that at the start of every one
of these sentences.

721
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:29,240
Honestly, even says after in
basic English or sign language.

722
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:33,880
It's like it's just we, we, we
would like children when they go

723
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:36,080
to school to be able to ask for
help when they need it.

724
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:41,000
No, that's bloody Abel.
It's what on earth we wouldn't

725
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,360
like that actually not bothered.
Yeah, take it all out.

726
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:44,560
Scrap it.
Scrap the document.

727
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,880
I don't give parents any.
They have to guess, even though

728
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:47,960
a lot of this will just come
naturally.

729
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:50,240
They have to guess what this
list is, and then everyone's

730
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,080
left feeling a bit anxious about
what on earth they're supposed

731
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:55,080
to be doing with the kid before.
School Don't you feel like this,

732
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:58,000
this the the It's not a high
bar.

733
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:04,520
No singing along to songs.
Yeah, like Rory does that every

734
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:05,240
day.
Just sing some.

735
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:08,200
Songs.
Just having some songs to sing.

736
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:10,680
Rory still sings Jingle Bells
every day.

737
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:15,720
It's not been Christmas for over
a month, so, you know, I don't

738
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:16,320
know.
Yeah.

739
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:19,520
Anything next one?
Physical development, walking up

740
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:22,280
and down steps 1 foot at a time,
using the wall for support,

741
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,080
climbing, running, jumping and
playing.

742
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:25,960
Catching a large ball most of
the time.

743
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:28,520
Doing simple puzzles and craft
activities for strengthening

744
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:29,720
their grip when cutting and
sticking.

745
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:32,960
These are just layman terms for
what you said.

746
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:35,240
Gross motor skills.
Fine motor skills balance.

747
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:36,520
Just play a little bit.
Yeah.

748
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:38,880
That's it really.
Just play a little bit.

749
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:41,120
It's not even like the bar is
not high.

750
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:43,160
The bar is not high for that.
Like really?

751
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:46,000
It's not saying go to a gym
class once a week and learn how

752
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,000
to balance on hoops.
Yeah.

753
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:48,600
Yeah, yeah, like.
That's not what it's saying.

754
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,240
You do it if you want, that's
cool as well.

755
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:54,440
But also just get a ball, get a
get a 50P beach ball and blow it

756
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:56,720
up and throw it and see if they
can catch it genuinely is not.

757
00:30:57,360 --> 00:30:59,720
We spent about half an hour the
other day playing catch River.

758
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,680
Remember she was catching it and
then Rory was like Rory play and

759
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,960
then Rory was catching it.
It wasn't even I wasn't

760
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:07,040
thinking.
I got my ready to progress

761
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:08,640
document out here.
I can make sure that I'm ready

762
00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:11,440
for it's just play with your
kids.

763
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:13,840
Do you know what?
Let's do healthy routines

764
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:18,160
quickly because this comes in a
lot more, I think to poverty

765
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:20,400
effects this a lot more as well.
I do think with healthy routines

766
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:22,440
because it can be cheaper
sometimes to eat worse food,

767
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:24,560
brushing your teeth, etcetera,
blah, blah, blah.

768
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:27,400
But in general what I'll just
make the point of it does.

769
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:29,960
It does though also make me sad.
But I want to support people as

770
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:33,000
much as possible who for
whatever reason can't fulfil

771
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,520
this.
I'd really get, I really want to

772
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,000
know because I think for the
vast majority, of course you

773
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,640
can, but there will be some
people out there, I think who

774
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,320
will look at this and go, you
know, just whatever reason,

775
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:45,120
education, they've not seen this
list.

776
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:47,200
They didn't have it done to
them, so they're going to pass

777
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:48,400
on to their kids.
The same thing.

778
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:52,160
That makes me sad because I read
this and I think, my goodness

779
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:54,200
me, this is what every child
should have as a minimum.

780
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:56,960
And there are some kids who
aren't getting it sometimes

781
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,400
through no fault, the parents,
the parents just don't know.

782
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:01,680
So that does make me sad.
I will say that right now, I'm

783
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:03,480
not just bashing people who
aren't doing this.

784
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:07,000
I'm just bashing most people
healthy routines.

785
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:09,200
Going to bed around the same
time each night and waking up in

786
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,800
time to get ready for school.
Limiting screen time to the

787
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:14,120
recommended daily amounts.
Bracket C advice.

788
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:16,560
Eating a healthy diet and trying
new foods.

789
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:18,880
Brushing their teeth with
toothpaste twice a day.

790
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:21,080
Is that it?
That's the.

791
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:22,160
Word.
That's healthy.

792
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:29,320
For more, yeah, it's like, OK.
Having gone for everything, I

793
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:30,960
struggled to see what people.
'S problem was with this.

794
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:33,240
Brushing your teeth is a given,
right?

795
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:35,000
I I mean the whole thing as
well.

796
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:36,880
So honestly, can we go for him
one at a time, so genuinely?

797
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,000
Going to bed at the same time
each night and waking up ready

798
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:39,720
for school.
OK, that.

799
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:41,480
Might be one of those things
where people just didn't know

800
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,520
about that, about the importance
of that, like a routine.

801
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:44,640
They.
Yeah, because I think that's

802
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:46,920
fair enough in terms of people.
I I didn't grow up with that.

803
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:48,400
No one's told.
I've not read this document.

804
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:49,720
I didn't realise it had such an
impact.

805
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:51,040
I thought if they were tired,
they just go to bed.

806
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,680
Yeah, I can understand that one.
Limiting screen time to the

807
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:55,400
recommended daily amounts.
That's what we talked about

808
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,080
earlier as it is easy just to
give someone an iPad.

809
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:04,680
My child has an iPad but OK.
Yeah, limited if you can.

810
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:06,240
Yeah, that's it.
If you can.

811
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:07,040
There you go.
Perfect phrase.

812
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:08,040
Done.
That's fine.

813
00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:10,680
Eating a healthy diet and trying
new foods, I think that's more.

814
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:14,480
I do think habits and poverty
and money do come into that a

815
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:17,320
bit, Definitely so, but I don't
think anyone doesn't know

816
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:18,720
though.
No, no, no, no.

817
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:21,200
And if anyone can read that and
go, well, that's bad advice from

818
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:22,240
the government.
Is it?

819
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:23,040
Yeah.
That's just, you know what?

820
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:24,720
That's something we all strive
for genuinely.

821
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:26,120
We all strive to be a bit
healthier.

822
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:29,320
Sometimes we don't want to.
Sometimes we get allured by the

823
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:30,960
unhealthy foods.
Sometimes we can't afford the

824
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:32,600
the great stuff.
How many cream eggs do you have

825
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:32,840
today?
Oh.

826
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:34,000
None.
No, no no.

827
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,360
I had 6 yesterday.
That you got averages out three

828
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:38,200
a day and the last one brushing
your teeth.

829
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:39,480
Yeah.
Twice a day, Yeah, it's just.

830
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:42,800
But again, I read.
So I read the book by Katrina

831
00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:45,960
O'Sullivan called Poor and I
talked to you about it because

832
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:49,040
it really had an effect on me in
terms of anyone who doesn't

833
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:53,040
really OK, let me rephrase this.
Most people do not actually

834
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:56,040
understand what poverty is and
what living in poverty is like.

835
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,400
Even people who think they're
empathetic and kind of get it,

836
00:33:59,880 --> 00:34:02,760
you don't really understand what
actually living in poverty is

837
00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:05,880
like and the reasons behind it
and the health helplessness that

838
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:07,120
goes into.
It is that what you felt that

839
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:08,280
basically you realised you
didn't really?

840
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:15,159
Understand, I, I think no Jay, I
think I've seen a lot and I've

841
00:34:15,639 --> 00:34:18,719
through family members and stuff
and they'll go back and like my

842
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:21,719
parent, my mum was one of five
and they were raised in like

843
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:24,040
nothing because they didn't have
anything.

844
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:25,920
And, and so I've heard a lot
about it.

845
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:30,639
And when I read the book, what I
felt more of was like I guess I

846
00:34:30,639 --> 00:34:33,760
realised more the stories I've
been told and what I heard were

847
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:35,960
very real.
It was more like affirming what

848
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:39,440
I kind of felt like I knew and I
understood about it because I've

849
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:43,840
seen in my family in general,
I've seen poverty in different

850
00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:46,440
ways in terms of people have
absolutely nothing.

851
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:49,840
But it's like through no fault
of their own, they work really

852
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:50,840
hard.
They go 9 to 5.

853
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,280
The system's beating them down.
It's just, it's just awful.

854
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:55,840
You got really fight education,
education, education.

855
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:57,680
Got got the got the kids out of
it.

856
00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:00,400
My uncles and my aunties and
stuff, my mum got out of it and

857
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:02,920
then we benefited as a whole.
Like I'm only here because of

858
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:04,360
their attitude, basically.
Yeah.

859
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,520
And, and then I've also got
other family members who are in

860
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:10,840
that cycle of 3rd, 4th, 5th
generation council house owners

861
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,440
not really picking themselves
up, not really doing anything

862
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:15,120
about it.
Very different.

863
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:16,920
And they're kind of stuck in
that rut almost.

864
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:19,160
And I've seen both outcomes from
poverty.

865
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,320
And I'm not saying that poverty
automatically means no one can

866
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:24,760
do anything, because it doesn't,
but it means it's bloody hard.

867
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:26,280
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't think people quite

868
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:28,000
understand.
Like, it's so hard.

869
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,400
And I would recommend reading
the book Poor by Katrina

870
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:33,040
O'Sullivan if you don't really
have an insight into that world.

871
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:36,200
It's her life story basically
from being born, being raised in

872
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:39,760
a household that is living in
abject poverty and her journey

873
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:43,560
through education and she's now
working with, she works with

874
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:45,120
universities, etcetera, and has
come out of it.

875
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:48,040
But her story is insane.
And you look at it and you think

876
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:52,280
you can't think anything other
than wow, it's not your fault.

877
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,520
Jesus Christ, that's awful.
What What you've gone through is

878
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:59,160
horrendous and she always says
like she hates to be a she would

879
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:02,000
hate to come out of this and be
like a bastion of see so anyone

880
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,160
can do it.
No, no, her point is that they

881
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:07,080
absolutely can't.
And and she is an she is an

882
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:09,880
outlier and I love her attitude
towards it because she was like

883
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:12,040
she was scared to write the book
and publish it because she

884
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:14,800
didn't want to be a trophy
person that people hold up and

885
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:15,840
see.
See, if you just pull it your

886
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:17,040
bootstraps, you can get out
poverty.

887
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,680
No, you can't.
Poverty's horrendous.

888
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,720
It's awful.
And when I look at this, I think

889
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:26,480
that's what makes me sad.
I suppose I'm like, there are

890
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:30,240
some households out there where
the child won't get this and

891
00:36:30,240 --> 00:36:33,400
it's through no fault of their
own and it's through no fault of

892
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:35,960
the family just because of what
the way they're entrenched in

893
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:37,640
society.
Do you think then reflecting

894
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:40,680
back on the previous ones, is it
equally it seems more obvious

895
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:43,240
for this one?
No, I don't.

896
00:36:43,240 --> 00:36:45,160
I don't because I do.
There's, there's certain stuff

897
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:47,240
there.
This is what I mean when I think

898
00:36:47,240 --> 00:36:49,120
about how my parents grow up and
how we grow up.

899
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:51,200
Not having any money at all,
right?

900
00:36:51,240 --> 00:36:54,440
Having nothing.
But we played, but we jumped.

901
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:57,000
But we did role play you.
Brush your teeth.

902
00:36:57,400 --> 00:36:59,040
Right.
Even brushing teeth, maybe.

903
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:01,040
I'm sure I did, but I can
understand some.

904
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:03,640
They have no money left.
It's like, oh, we've got to find

905
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:05,000
some money somewhere.
I brush your teeth once a day,

906
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:07,520
share a toothbrush.
That happens in poverty.

907
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:09,440
People think it doesn't happen.
That happens.

908
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:11,240
I can promise you run out of
toothpaste today.

909
00:37:11,240 --> 00:37:13,160
I can't go to the shop till next
week, don't get my money until

910
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:14,680
Friday.
Don't have toothpaste for three

911
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:17,040
days.
That happens in poverty, right.

912
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:20,080
So that that's where I see more,
more boundaries in the poorest

913
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:21,920
of the poor.
But there's certain things here,

914
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:23,520
like, you know, catching a ball.
Yeah.

915
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:24,840
He was out in the street playing
all day.

916
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:27,160
Playing all day everyday.
I was active, as people say,

917
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:28,680
back in our day, we were playing
out all day.

918
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:30,080
Yeah, they were more active than
ever.

919
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:32,400
That's that's objectively a good
thing.

920
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:35,440
Maybe now there's less poverty
than before, but children are

921
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:37,720
nowhere near as active.
But we have to take the whole

922
00:37:37,720 --> 00:37:40,040
picture, is all I'm saying.
And there's certain things in

923
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:41,720
here that there is no excuse to
not do.

924
00:37:42,240 --> 00:37:46,240
My mum, she, she had a million
silly rhymes and nursery rhymes

925
00:37:46,240 --> 00:37:50,120
from her mum that she knew from
her childhood that stuck with

926
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:52,160
her until she was older and she
was, she would say those rhymes

927
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:54,080
to me.
I still remember those rhymes

928
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:56,400
now.
Nonsense rhymes, right?

929
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:57,880
But they had nothing, but they
could sing.

930
00:37:57,880 --> 00:37:59,920
What she didn't though, what she
didn't have any from her, No.

931
00:37:59,920 --> 00:38:01,240
No.
But what I'm, what I'm saying is

932
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:04,560
there are certain things that
that's not a barrier for, right?

933
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,040
There are some, if they don't
have national rhymes, fine.

934
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:09,000
Like, of course, I, I get that.
That's why education's

935
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,560
important.
But there are certain things

936
00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:11,920
here where money isn't a
barrier.

937
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:14,200
That's all I'm saying.
Yeah, OK, where everyone can do

938
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:16,040
that thing.
So no matter what we do, if

939
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,600
we're talking about the outreach
and people learning stuff, there

940
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,640
might be people to some of this
who say, well, I just can't

941
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:21,840
just.
I don't know, they're paid until

942
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:22,680
Friday.
I've got nothing.

943
00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:24,880
Yeah, yeah, sure.
But then they'll look at, sing a

944
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:26,640
song to your kids and be like,
oh, everyone owns a national

945
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:27,440
rhyme.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

946
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:30,920
So all I'm the only point I'm
saying here is it's guidance and

947
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:33,840
there are something on this list
that it doesn't matter your

948
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,840
background, yeah, it's gonna
have a positive impact on your

949
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:36,560
kid.
You need to.

950
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:37,200
Do it with them.
Yeah.

951
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:38,760
Money is not a barrier to
talking to a child.

952
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:39,800
Exactly.
Money is not a barrier to

953
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:41,840
singing a nursery rhyme child.
If you don't know one OK from

954
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:43,480
find out one then Like it
doesn't cost you anything to

955
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:45,360
find out a nurse 1 Exactly.
Exactly.

956
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:47,640
Yeah, it's interesting.
Yeah, so that, that that's my

957
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:49,240
that just went out a bit of
tangent now.

958
00:38:49,240 --> 00:38:50,960
No, it's good.
But in general, like this

959
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:55,560
document, this document helped
my family and things like this

960
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,720
and understanding and and
government incentives and

961
00:38:58,720 --> 00:39:02,640
information and education helped
lift to my family out of this

962
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:05,280
kind of this thing that it
helped with social mobility.

963
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:08,560
So let's not just be offended or
we think, oh, you're on your

964
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:10,520
high horse holier than now
telling me what to do with my

965
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:13,640
kid.
Yeah, sometimes, yes, because I

966
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:16,160
know best.
And in this situation, this is

967
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:18,280
backed up by universities,
people who spend their whole

968
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:21,080
lives dedicated to helping kids.
Do you know what if they say

969
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:22,360
sing a nursery rhyme to your
kid?

970
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,760
Do you know what you should do?
Sing a bloody nursery rhyme with

971
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:26,880
your kid and not sit and moan
about it and say, well, I'm a

972
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:27,880
parent.
I'll do what I want.

973
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:29,800
Do what you want then, and we'll
see what the outcomes are.

974
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:37,480
Wow I agree, sometimes you just
got to be told parents the

975
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:40,760
phrase parents know best.
Parents do parents.

976
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:43,520
Do know best most of the time
when it comes to individual

977
00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:44,960
needs of your child.
That's the beauty of this.

978
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,560
Parents know best in terms of
how to interpret the nuance of

979
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:50,080
this document.
You know best whether your child

980
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:52,720
fits into this trend or not.
That's where you know best.

981
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,360
The university lecture, though,
the people have done all the

982
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:58,240
research and the studies, they
do know best in general.

983
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:00,840
Whether something is beneficial
or not for your child in

984
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:03,920
general, they they have come to
the conclusion for a very good

985
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,360
reason.
That catching a ball and reading

986
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:09,840
a book and brushing your teeth
will generally, if you can do

987
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:13,200
those things, it will give them
a better chance of success in

988
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:14,160
education.
And guess what?

989
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:16,800
Education is where you can break
out of those chains.

990
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:20,040
Education is your chance to is
social mobility.

991
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:22,160
It comes from education.
It comes from your time in

992
00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:24,120
school.
But yeah.

993
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:27,920
People.
And sometimes it isn't, but it

994
00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:30,400
is also other times.
And this is this is what we're

995
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:31,520
trying to get through to people
here.

996
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:35,840
It's about chances, right?
Give, give your child's, you

997
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:39,840
know, children the best chance
possible, please, because we've

998
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:42,640
seen the impact it can have.
So just just around, we've

999
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,800
talked for a long time now.
So I think maybe we can just

1000
00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:48,040
finish off with quite rapidly.
Let's just talk through them

1001
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:50,760
from the point of view as a
teacher, because we've done

1002
00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:52,200
both.
We're parents and teachers now

1003
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:54,680
when our children go to school,
OK.

1004
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:58,000
Or if your teacher's listening
to this right now, what would

1005
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,320
you be saying to parents that
you should be doing at home?

1006
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:03,600
And I'm talking now, past early
years, we're school ready.

1007
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:06,600
We've gone past all that cool.
We're in year 3, year 4, year

1008
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:08,320
five, year 6.
Maybe you're headed into

1009
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:11,880
secondary school at that point
specifically to do school.

1010
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,600
What should parents be doing to
support their child's journey

1011
00:41:14,720 --> 00:41:16,880
through life in general and
support their education?

1012
00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:18,320
There's a, there's a couple of
nuances.

1013
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:21,240
There's slight nuances because
as a teacher, you do actually

1014
00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:23,920
have the benefit of knowing the
children on an individual level.

1015
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:26,800
So there is some general advice.
We can talk about things that

1016
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:27,920
they should be doing, parents
should be doing.

1017
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:30,880
There's also situations where
you actually have the power to

1018
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:32,720
look at that child who maybe
doesn't fit the trend perfectly.

1019
00:41:32,720 --> 00:41:35,920
And you can say, oh, by the way,
I'm the expert.

1020
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:39,640
Your child needs this thing.
And it might be, it might be

1021
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:42,080
something physical, it might be
a gross motor skill.

1022
00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:44,200
And that might not be your
general device for everybody,

1023
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:45,880
but you save their parent.
You've got this beautiful

1024
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:49,000
opportunity and privilege to be
a part of raising this child.

1025
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,200
And you can say this is
something that an area they're

1026
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:52,600
struggling with.
They're not up to date with

1027
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:53,800
their peers.
There might be some reasons.

1028
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:55,960
Let's talk about it together.
But here's an activity you could

1029
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:57,640
do at home to help them with
their gross motor skills.

1030
00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:00,080
And most parents with their head
screwed on would say, thank you

1031
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:00,680
so much.
Yeah.

1032
00:42:00,720 --> 00:42:02,480
And most teachers with their
head screwed on wouldn't even

1033
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,440
give this advice because they'd
be too afraid of the backlash of

1034
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,600
you saying what you saying my my
child can't jump?

1035
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:08,560
Look, are you saying my child's
overweight?

1036
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:10,680
OK, yeah, that's that's what
happened.

1037
00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:12,200
That's the frustrating.
I completely agree.

1038
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:15,840
That's the frustrating thing
where we miss out on good advice

1039
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:18,160
or truth because we're too
worried about how it might be

1040
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:19,600
interpreted.
Exactly, which is sad.

1041
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:20,960
Come on.
Going back to your sort of

1042
00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:23,880
general point to me, and I don't
know, this is very obvious, but

1043
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:27,600
the absolute blinder top
priority that you should do as a

1044
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:30,960
school if you have any amount of
time that you're saying to

1045
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:34,040
parents to do things is reading.
It has to be reading.

1046
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:36,360
You have to be at the forefront
of everything you do.

1047
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:38,560
If you've got 7 other different
homework things you do and

1048
00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:40,120
you're finding parents just
aren't engaging with a lot, a

1049
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:41,120
lot of this stuff, strip it
back.

1050
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:44,320
Honestly, get reading is the
absolute fundamental put.

1051
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:46,520
Get some guidance out there.
Make if you need to get some

1052
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:48,840
parent engagement sessions, see
how many parents you can get in.

1053
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:51,160
Is it only 10?
OK, that's 10 more parents than

1054
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:52,520
wouldn't have come in if you
didn't do it.

1055
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:54,760
Get them into school, put a
little workshop on for half an

1056
00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:56,520
hour after school.
Reach out.

1057
00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:58,520
Do anything you can.
In your socio economic

1058
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:00,440
situation.
You know the parents of your

1059
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:02,240
area better than anyone.
What can you do?

1060
00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:05,400
Sit down with your team to
engage those parents in your

1061
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:07,600
area and it will be different
per per area.

1062
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:10,160
And that's what you'd be saying.
You'd be saying, look, read with

1063
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:12,320
your children, support them with
their understanding.

1064
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:14,960
I, I, you know, I love maths.
I think maths is really, really

1065
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:16,760
important.
But I'm not blinded by the fact

1066
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:20,200
that I can't argue against the
fact that reading is number one,

1067
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:22,520
right?
But #2 and I'd say they're both

1068
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:26,280
well ahead is number and
understanding of, of, of actual

1069
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:29,560
how to manipulate number, number
bonds, times tables, basic

1070
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:31,360
facts, right?
Yeah, that's, that is very,

1071
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:33,880
very, very important as well.
So I, I'd, I'd lump those two

1072
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:35,560
together.
I'd, I'd lump those two in the

1073
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:38,560
fact of as, as a parent, what
can you do to support?

1074
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:41,160
I'm just an unpaid teacher.
Yeah, you are.

1075
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,240
Keep practising number bonds.
If they're falling behind in

1076
00:43:43,240 --> 00:43:44,880
class, practise a little bit at
home.

1077
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:46,160
Don't let it take over your
life.

1078
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:48,600
We're not saying stop the clubs,
you know, if you'd have the kids

1079
00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:51,560
children, because another huge
part I think that parents play

1080
00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:55,320
in development of their child in
educational is learning about

1081
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:58,920
other things.
Is baking a cake, is going for a

1082
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:01,720
walk in nature, is pointing out,
Oh, that bird looks different to

1083
00:44:01,720 --> 00:44:03,680
that bird.
I wonder what breed of bird that

1084
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:05,880
I'm going to find out on that
tree actually is shading.

1085
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:07,680
I wonder why it's pointing
towards the sun and those

1086
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:10,080
flowers look different.
Learning, learning, learning,

1087
00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:12,040
learning, learning, learning,
learning, learning, learning

1088
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:13,840
vital.
And that's that is another role.

1089
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:15,840
I'm excited as a parent to do
that with my son.

1090
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:17,800
Yeah, definitely.
You reminded me of something I

1091
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:20,400
want to share, but earlier on in
my career, it's one of it was

1092
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,600
like maybe a parent's evening.
I think it was.

1093
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:26,160
I remember I bought of me this
big tub of 10 sided dice because

1094
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:28,920
I was really obsessed with that.
I was in my number bond era.

1095
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:31,120
Like I was obsessed with number
bonds and timetable facts to

1096
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:33,720
that point, which I still am.
But there's other era, yeah,

1097
00:44:33,720 --> 00:44:35,960
era, right?
And I remember parents even just

1098
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:37,520
literally, I was like giving
them a dice.

1099
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:39,520
I was just giving them a dice
and saying here's something you

1100
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:40,960
can do.
Just it's a small activity.

1101
00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:43,440
Your child is in year 4.
They don't know the number once

1102
00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:44,840
to 10.
They're they're they're, they're

1103
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:46,480
great at lots of other things,
but they don't know this

1104
00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:48,840
fundamental thing.
Stop practising shape for now.

1105
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:52,520
Just just just you know, what
can we just get the number ones

1106
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:53,720
to 10 right?
And then we'll work from there.

1107
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:55,160
And, and for them, that's what
they need.

1108
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:56,320
They just need this one one
step.

1109
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:59,000
Also read as much as you can.
But that was might let me know

1110
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:00,080
my little maths thing.
And you're right, if the

1111
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:01,640
foundations were what were
coming to my mind there, I

1112
00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:05,760
wasn't, I wasn't too worried if,
if, if a child wasn't maybe

1113
00:45:06,240 --> 00:45:08,400
super great with perimeter or
algebra or something like that.

1114
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:09,960
At that point I thought, I'll
teach that at school.

1115
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:11,480
That's fine.
If that's the only thing, I'm

1116
00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:13,160
fine.
I'll feed it back, but that

1117
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:14,560
wasn't, you know, too worrying
to me.

1118
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:16,200
Whereas if they couldn't, if
they weren't reading at age

1119
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:18,320
appropriate level or they
weren't understanding like

1120
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:20,880
really basic foundational number
facts where everything is

1121
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:22,360
everything on top of that is
built from it.

1122
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:26,680
They were like high high high
priority to me of like I need to

1123
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:28,840
tell the parent and I need to
give them some advice on how to

1124
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:31,360
work on it.
Because at the end of the day,

1125
00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:33,520
that's what's gonna unlock their
learning and everything else.

1126
00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:35,160
Yeah, They can't do perimeter.
Yeah.

1127
00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:37,320
They can't add 6:00 and 9:00.
What do you think?

1128
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:39,120
Gonna be able to add six sides
of a shape together?

1129
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:41,160
Of course, they're not gonna be
able to do that.

1130
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:44,400
And time at home is precious.
That's the other thing.

1131
00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:47,920
We don't not think that we know
time at home is precious with

1132
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:49,920
your children, so when we're
saying homework and saying to

1133
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:52,000
practise stuff, it's because
that's what's going to have the

1134
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,120
biggest impact by far.
Well, I think that's something

1135
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:55,360
that schools can reflect on
genuinely.

1136
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:57,520
I think one thing that every
school leader, every person

1137
00:45:57,520 --> 00:46:00,360
working in school could reflect
on right now is knowing that

1138
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:02,320
time is precious.
And there might be some families

1139
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:04,560
or lots of families in your
school where that time is more

1140
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:06,160
precious than ever because they
don't have much because of the

1141
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:09,080
working situation.
What is it that you as a school

1142
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:10,200
are actually recommending as
homework?

1143
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:12,160
Is it too much?
Because you might genuinely be

1144
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:13,720
saying, yeah, you've got to do
the reading and you've got to do

1145
00:46:13,720 --> 00:46:15,880
these maths and you've also got
to do this other project and

1146
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:17,200
you've got to do this and you've
got to do that.

1147
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:18,320
And that's all part of your
homework.

1148
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:20,280
And the parents are getting
overwhelmed by all of it and not

1149
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:22,480
doing any of it.
Is it that you can strip it back

1150
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:24,840
and say, do you know what?
These things are great.

1151
00:46:24,840 --> 00:46:26,360
And maybe they can be optional
little things you do on the

1152
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:28,200
side, like you said, like even
with the cooking projects, it's

1153
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:29,880
great.
But that could be an optional if

1154
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:32,200
you're finding that your school
is struggling with, but they're

1155
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:33,680
not reading enough.
Like the reading, my pleasure is

1156
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:35,960
extremely low.
Can you strip it back as a

1157
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:38,400
school?
Can you prioritise elsewhere to

1158
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:40,480
help your parents?
Yeah, I think that that's that's

1159
00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:43,280
the way you gotta go about it.
And look, let's just summarise

1160
00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:46,880
this right now.
I'm not just trying to, you

1161
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:49,360
know, make this big divide
between home and school and and

1162
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:51,840
blame you, you blame me, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.

1163
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:55,280
At the end of the day, what we
all ultimately care about is the

1164
00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:57,400
outcomes for the children.
How can we increase the

1165
00:46:57,400 --> 00:46:59,160
likelihood that children have
better outcomes?

1166
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:01,680
It's more parental involvement
at home in terms of their

1167
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:05,440
education and their learning in
every aspect, social, physical,

1168
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:08,320
emotional, mental health and
education in general,

1169
00:47:08,320 --> 00:47:10,320
entertainment and being able to
do numbers and reading and

1170
00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:12,960
communicate.
It is it takes a village.

1171
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:13,960
That's the saying and it is
true.

1172
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:16,760
It takes a village to raise a
child, but a village is usually

1173
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:19,400
have leaders as well.
And the Chieftain of that is the

1174
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:21,240
parent.
And it has to come from you.

1175
00:47:21,240 --> 00:47:24,640
It has to come from you because
we can't wait until we're at

1176
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:26,760
school to learn all of these
things.

1177
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:29,720
We can't do that.
We we have to put the groundwork

1178
00:47:29,720 --> 00:47:32,840
in first and we have to support
parents as much as we can to do

1179
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:36,320
it through education, through
incentives, through giving them

1180
00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:38,720
time to raise their own kids.
That's a whole nother

1181
00:47:38,720 --> 00:47:41,760
conversation we can talk about,
but it has to come from the

1182
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:43,160
parents.
It's an attitude.

1183
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:45,920
And this, this whole episode is
about trying, isn't it?

1184
00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:49,040
It's not about if you haven't
got to the end goal, you've

1185
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:50,360
failed.
That's not what this is.

1186
00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:52,560
It's just about trying.
If you're not putting in the

1187
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:54,160
effort, then it can't happen.
That's it.

1188
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:57,760
Because I, I, I, I reckon this
will be the most the episode

1189
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:00,040
that we've done out of all our
episodes where people might get

1190
00:48:00,040 --> 00:48:02,120
their backs up because they'll
think we're saying something

1191
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:03,760
we're not.
They'll think we're just being

1192
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:06,040
parent snobs and we're not.
And it is.

1193
00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:08,040
It's not, but we're not.
We're not actually being

1194
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:09,280
parents.
We're not being choked snubs.

1195
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:12,560
We're literally just saying
listen to the guy stop.

1196
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:14,920
Stop.
Like snubbing the guidance as if

1197
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:16,240
it's not applicable.
If anything, they're being

1198
00:48:16,240 --> 00:48:17,520
snubs.
Yeah, right.

1199
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:19,000
Genuinely, I could turn it
around.

1200
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:20,440
You're being a snub.
You're ignoring all of the

1201
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:22,520
evidence and thinking you know
best automatically.

1202
00:48:22,720 --> 00:48:25,040
That sounds quite snobby to me.
Yeah, maybe that's it.

1203
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:27,080
Maybe that's it, but that's it.
All we're saying is try your

1204
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:29,000
hardest.
Kids need that step up in life

1205
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,720
and it's harder than ever
because of social media, because

1206
00:48:31,720 --> 00:48:34,040
of the brain right algorithms
your kids are exposed to, and

1207
00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:35,960
harder than ever.
And your experience, I think

1208
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:37,240
that's more by the way, I think
it's more.

1209
00:48:37,240 --> 00:48:41,080
And we are all victim to it.
Literally last night you sent me

1210
00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:43,880
an article on BBC, just a
genuine, it wasn't social media.

1211
00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:46,960
And my gut reaction was my phone
buzzed and I wanted to have a

1212
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:48,320
look at it.
And we were literally like just

1213
00:48:48,320 --> 00:48:51,280
finishing the bath routine.
And Lauren said do that after.

1214
00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:52,720
She's right.
But she's right.

1215
00:48:52,720 --> 00:48:54,640
And in the moment, I can't argue
with this because she's

1216
00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:55,320
absolutely right.
I can't.

1217
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:58,080
I felt foolish for like, of
course, it's like a pivotal

1218
00:48:58,080 --> 00:48:59,440
moment.
I'm just about to read a story

1219
00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:00,960
with her.
I'm sat on the chair ready to

1220
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:02,320
get her.
And I've got my phone out

1221
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:04,200
looking at this article because
I want to read it instantly

1222
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:06,400
because you send it to me.
And that's not even like the the

1223
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:07,760
bad brain rot.
The other stuff is the

1224
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:08,760
algorithms are feeding to my
brain.

1225
00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:10,120
I'm constantly addicted.
I want to get it.

1226
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:11,320
Out and just scroll for 10
minutes.

1227
00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:13,000
Do you mention if I was there in
in person?

1228
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:14,520
I said and I passed a newspaper
to you.

1229
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:16,560
I said, hey, then read this.
You'd be like, well, not right

1230
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:17,760
now mate.
I'm just about to read.

1231
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:19,440
I'm just about to.
Do this thing which is obviously

1232
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:21,480
I'm in the middle of this, So
what I'm trying to highlight

1233
00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:22,640
there is I'm not pretending
we're perfect.

1234
00:49:22,640 --> 00:49:25,000
We're absolutely far from it,
especially you, especially me,

1235
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:26,680
and even more so Dylan.
But.

1236
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:28,720
But you've got to make a
conscious effort.

1237
00:49:28,720 --> 00:49:30,440
And Laura made that conscious
effort in that moment of like,

1238
00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:31,080
don't do that.
That's bad.

1239
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:33,040
Because actually this thing is
more, this is higher priority.

1240
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:34,440
And I know it's higher priority
priority.

1241
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:36,760
And I still fell into the trap
of getting my phone out right in

1242
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:38,440
front of my child or at bedtime
when they're about to go to

1243
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:40,760
sleep, I'm about to read a story
to them and I got my phone out.

1244
00:49:41,840 --> 00:49:43,960
It's mad.
It's, it's so hard to overcome,

1245
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:45,640
but you've got to try.
Bad parents.

1246
00:49:46,240 --> 00:49:48,080
Thanks.
I'm joking, right, guys?

1247
00:49:48,080 --> 00:49:50,480
Hopefully that was at least
insightful, and I'd love to know

1248
00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:52,000
what you think about it.
And do you think we're

1249
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:53,240
completely off the mark here or
not?

1250
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:55,280
Yeah, let us know and we might
read it.

1251
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:56,360
We might not.
Yeah, yeah.

1252
00:49:56,400 --> 00:49:58,480
Hope you enjoy the beginning as
well where you couldn't see us.

1253
00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:01,120
What we're going to do now is go
and re record the intro and tell

1254
00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:03,920
you guys that we didn't do it,
Let's do that so that you can

1255
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:06,080
cut to that and you're not but.
You've already heard that.

1256
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:07,120
Yeah.
So that's weird.

1257
00:50:07,240 --> 00:50:09,320
So is that Inception or
Inception travel?

1258
00:50:09,320 --> 00:50:11,320
That means you've got to restart
there Pimento, play it again.

1259
00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:14,120
OK, play again and share it
maybe with a friend and follow

1260
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:15,560
and.
Hello everyone, welcome back to.