Dec. 1, 2024
Ep 89: Beating Burnout, Boosting Health & Putting Yourself First: Top Tips with Charlie Burley (The Teachers' Health Coach)

Teaching, especially in the manic term before Christmas, can cause your health and looking after yourself to take a backseat.
Charlie, the teachers' health coach, joins us this week to explain why that doesn't have to be the case.
With amazing insight, scientificly backed apoproaches & a genuine desire to help, Chalrie has enabled thousands of teachers to live healthier, happier lives.
This is a must-listen!
Follow Charlie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.teachers.health.coach/
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Hello everyone, Dylan here.
Quick message before we start
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this week's podcast.
Hayden, we don't have a sponsor,
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do we?
Nope.
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So our sponsor this week is just
going to be us talking to you
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guys and asking you to just do
three things for us.
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We've seen a big boom in numbers
lately.
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We love reaching as many people
as possible and this will really
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help us.
So number one, please leave us a
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review on whatever platform
you're listening on, whether
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it's Spotify, Apple Podcast,
Amazon Music, whatever it might
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be.
Leaving a review really helps 2
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followers on whatever platform
you're listening on.
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It could be Spotify, it could be
Apple Podcast, it might be
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because of music, but if you
follow us, you will get a
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notification straight away every
Monday morning when a new
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episode's released.
So you can just click it and
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listen and play.
And the last thing, probably the
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most important thing, the thing
that we would love to see more
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than anything is sharing the
podcast out amongst people you
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think might get something from
it.
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If you do those three things, we
can't tell you how much it would
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really, really help us.
So thanks for listening and
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let's jump into today's episode.
Hello everyone, and welcome back
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to another episode of Teach
Sleep Repeat.
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My name is Dylan.
And my name is Hayden.
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And at this point, normally in
the podcast, we would sit here
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and we'd go, ha, ha, let's have
a little joke and a catch up
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about our week.
I'm a teacher, you're a teacher.
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Lots goes on in school.
However, we're going to skip all
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that this week, right?
Yeah, a bit different this time,
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isn't it?
Well, we've just, we've just
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come off.
We've just had an interview with
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Charlie, the teacher's health
coach, and you know what?
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We're breaking our script here.
We're going off.
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We're going off script.
It was so amazing and it was
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quite long and we want to show
you the whole thing.
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We don't edit it.
We don't want to cut bits out.
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So we're just kind of rushing
for.
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This is that because it was
really because you can't afford
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to edit.
A bit of both, to be honest with
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you.
No, it was really, really good,
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genuinely insightful.
And I implore you to listen to
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throughout through the whole
episode because he gives so many
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tips, so many actionable things
you can actually do to help your
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well-being, help your workload,
reduce stress, all these amazing
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things.
So yeah, we just want to jump
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straight into the episode,
really.
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Yeah.
I mean, we could talk about it
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right now or we could just press
play on that interview.
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How about I just cut right here?
Hello Charlie, thanks for
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joining us the Teachers Health
coach on Instagram.
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If anyone wants to go and have a
look, we'll link you down below.
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How you doing mate?
Yeah, not too bad, not too bad.
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Being honest, feeling that end
of term tiredness, which I know
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I'm not allowed to say, really
not being in school, but feeling
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the waves.
I blame my other half.
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She brings back all the germs,
she'd bring back the tiredness
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with her.
But yeah, feel a little bit like
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that.
But no feeling good.
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Feeling good.
Amazing.
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It's true.
It's true what they say about
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like teachers getting with other
teachers as their partner.
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I mean, my, my partner's a
teacher.
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I'm a teacher.
My partner, I'm a teacher.
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You're a teacher.
And Charlie, you obviously
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started off teaching and I just
wanted you to let our listeners
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know.
So you were a teacher, a lot of
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a lot of our listeners will be
hearing this thinking, oh gosh,
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I don't know if I can do this
much longer and we'll get into
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all of the well-being and the
workload and the health kicks.
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But just want to just an insight
into your story so far, really,
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because you've built up an
online presence where you're
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you're really encouraging
amazing messages for teachers
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and their health and their
well-being.
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What what is your story?
How long did you teach for?
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What made you take the plunge to
kind of move out of that and and
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go into this direction?
Yeah, OK, I don't want to send
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anyone to sleep, so I'll try and
keep it relatively concise.
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So basically I taught for eight
years in in total and that most
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of that was upper key stage 2.
So a lot of year 5-6.
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And about five years into my
career, I, it sounds a bit
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dramatic, but I basically had a
mental breakdown.
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It's sort of, yeah, burnout is
the word that we all kind of
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refer to, right?
Which as a, you know, it's like
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26 year old lad.
It's not what you expect to
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happen.
And like I said, I'd literally
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been teaching I think five years
by this point.
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And it all it was years in the
making.
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It was a build up of habits.
It was a build up of insecurity.
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It was a build up of over
delivering, overworking, all the
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stuff that we'll probably touch
on in today's episode.
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And it kind of got to end of
middle of year five really.
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And it was a really tough year
for me, generally speaking, like
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personally.
So my partner for five years,
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she'd moved to Africa the year
before and she you just signed a
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contract to a second year
without telling me.
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So that relationship was was
kaput.
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So that that was five years in
my life that had come to an end.
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It was my first year teaching at
6:00.
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So I love joys, lots of things
to talk about there.
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And also my, my LSA Sally, she
was diagnosed with cancer after
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a few months of the academic
year, I think October, November
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time, give or take.
And we literally work together
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since this up that academic
year.
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But you know, when you just meet
someone, particularly in
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professional capacity, you just
gel and you glue and they get
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you and you don't have to say
things.
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You're all, you know what it's
like.
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She was that for me.
And she was also kind of like
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the school Nan.
Yeah.
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And I haven't got any
grandparents still alive.
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So she kind of became my nan
within a few months.
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Yeah.
And she, she was, she was a bit
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of a character, smoke and and
smoke like a trooper, loved in
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loved the Caravan Club.
Like she was a proper, like, I
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can imagine this person, this
pretty proper character.
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Yeah.
And and she, she was diagnosed
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with cancer and she suddenly
passed away.
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I think it was early June the
next academic year.
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Yeah.
So she was obviously off for a
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very long time.
And we'd keep in contact and she
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sent me pictures like she got a
new haircut short, she sent me
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pictures and stuff.
And you know, it was, it was
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really hard because she was
clearly deteriorating from the
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ear and everything.
And then obviously year six and,
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and sats and that pressure and
basically all this kind of came
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to a head.
And, and I said this on a
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podcast recently, actually, the
thing that gets me is that none
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of it was, was front of my mind.
All of that stuff was happening.
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And I don't know whether it was
because there was a lot of
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stigma in my, my mind around
mental health or whether I was
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very ignorant to mental health
and things because to be fair,
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at that time, mental health was
someone depressed, laid up in
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bed.
Like that was my picture of
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mental health.
I was very ignorant, but I
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didn't realise any of this stuff
was going on.
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It was all bubbling had had no,
no sort of thought about it.
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Anyway, about a week before the
SAT, so great timing.
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I was, I can literally picture
now.
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I was stood in the middle of my
classroom and it was just after
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break time and the kids were
coming in there a little bit
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late and something had happened
at break time.
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And there was a boy in my class
who had been on a reduced
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timetable and he was just coming
back in into school.
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But we built up a great
relationship and he had his, he
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had great days and he had days
where he wasn't quite himself.
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And he really struggled with
emotional regulation.
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And his home life blessing was
very turbulent.
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And you know, it's often as
children you build the best,
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yeah, the strongest bonds with.
And he came in essentially
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something had happened at at
break time, something in
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football, and he came in very,
very dysregulated and pens went
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flying and books went flying and
chairs went flying.
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And again, I taught him for
nearly a year by this point.
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And I've been at that school for
five years.
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And I dealt with that in almost
every class I'd had at that
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school, bar a couple.
And it wasn't a new situation at
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all, but something in that
moment, it almost just kind of
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snapped.
It was like the elastic band had
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been stretched too far.
And I basically had, it was only
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the second one I've ever had in
my life.
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I didn't didn't realise the
first one was one until
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afterwards.
But I had this massive panic
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attack, like horrendous.
And if people haven't had a
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panic attack, all I can say is
that I was convinced I was
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dying. 100% convinced that's the
only way I can put it into into
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words.
It felt like a fridge of being
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tipped over on my chest.
I was dripping with sweat.
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My heart was pounding so hard
but so fast and painful and I
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was just, I was shaking.
I couldn't speak.
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And the only thought that came
into my mind was that I don't
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want to scare the kids because I
was convinced I was having a
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heart attack.
And I was like, this is it OK?
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Well, I don't want to scare you.
So I took myself out of the
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classroom, sort of signalled to
my year leader and we had four
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rooms down a really long
corridor.
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So 2 rooms were opposite each
other.
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And I kind of said that I don't
feel well.
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And I took myself off And after
a few minutes, or probably was a
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little bit longer than that
really, I started to kind of
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sort of calm myself down a
little bit.
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And I was kind of thinking,
well, is this a, is it a virus
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like it something's wrong.
I'm physically unwell basically.
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And I went to see the assistant
head and she kind of spoke me,
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talked me around and, and things
and sent me home.
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Anyway, cut a Long story short,
I called 111 and just to check
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because I didn't want to call
999, called 111 and they
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basically refused to not send a
paramedic.
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They said we're going to send a
paramedic and I literally begged
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them not to because I was at my
parents' house.
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Felt really really silly and
embarrassed about the whole
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thing and they sent the
paramedic round.
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So I was there in my parents'
house on the sofa covered with
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all the dots and spots, getting
an ECG and stuff and they said
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that I need to go to hospital.
So I went to the hospital, a day
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in there, more EC GS, blood
tests, consultations, all that
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fun stuff.
And obviously by this point,
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I'm, I'm pretty scared about
I'll like, I'm kind of thinking
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there's something quite badly
wrong.
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But again, just think, thinking
down the physical room.
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And then at the end of the day,
I had a consultation with the
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doctor and I was chatting to him
and he, he asked me what I did
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for a job.
And I was, I'm quite proud of
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you to do, you know, I'm a
teacher, big part of my
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identity.
And, and he asked me if I, if I
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was stressed and I literally
laughed at his face and I was
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like, what do you mean?
You don't know I'm stressed.
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It's just me.
Yeah, Like what?
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And yeah, he wasn't at all
pleased.
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He literally just kind of looked
at me down the barrel and kind
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of literally eye, direct eye
contact and said you need to do
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something about this.
Like, you're 26, I'm diagnosing
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00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:24,440
you now with chronic stress and
anxiety.
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That was a panic attack.
You need to do something about
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it.
It's either take medication,
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which I know is a tool for some,
which is I think a great tool
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for many people.
But he said your choices are
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medication and lifestyle change
or a very, very quick lifestyle
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change.
And that, that was it.
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That was kind of the, the
turning point for me.
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But I then stayed in teaching
for three years after that as
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well.
And then we had the joys of
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COVID and all and all that other
stuff.
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But during the next six months,
I, I basically went on, sounds
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very dramatic, but a bit of like
a self discovery journey and
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more towards the kind of health
side of things and kind of
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thinking about how, you know,
And then during that time I met
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my partner as well, my, my, my
fiance and kind of think, well,
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what do I want my life to be
like?
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Like, how can I live like this
and have a family?
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And how can, how can I live like
this and get married and what's
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the future going to look like?
So I really made a lot of
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changes with how I was working,
how I was thinking about work.
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There was counselling, there was
therapy, there was coaching.
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There was a whole sort of
process during this time.
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And that sparked my own interest
just in this whole topic.
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And then, yeah, got me to
retrain as a nutritionist, then
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retrain as a mental health and
exercise coach.
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But I know I said I didn't want
to send anyone to sleep, but
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there's probably a few, a few
people not enough already.
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No, no, I just want to say I
mean, like, I think that's
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honestly like an inspirational
story.
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Genuinely, I'm not I'm not
exaggerating at all.
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And so many people will be
listening to that, including me,
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honestly and thinking, Oh my, I
see myself in what you've just
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said.
And so it's it's so sad that
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it's the norm in this job,
almost what you said.
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And although I know not everyone
will have a panic attack and go
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down that route you said, but my
goodness me, there are people
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who will feel stressed and have
chronic stress and it might
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present in different ways.
And it and the fact it's normal
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for people and hit listening to
your story, I just think that is
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it's insane, isn't it?
Is it, is it your, I mean, this
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might be an obvious question,
but is it your experience that
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you've just come through there
that inspired you to do what you
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do now and try to stop teachers
getting to that point, which I
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get, you know, like you said, we
call burnout whatever you want
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to call it.
Yeah, yeah, 100%.
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I just, when you know how
something feels and how dreadful
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something feels, you don't want
your worst enemy to go through
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it.
And I think that's, again, very
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cheesy, but that literally is
what gets me out of bed in the
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morning, is knowing that there
are people out there
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experiencing that and knowing
how awful that can be.
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It's, it's not cheesy at all.
I was to say that right now.
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I think, I think you're going
to, when people listening to
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this are going to have like the
nail hit on the head by what
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you're saying.
And, and I just want to say
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thank you for sharing that with
us because I didn't know that
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that much detail about it.
And do you know what?
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It makes so much sense now
seeing your social media page,
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because I, I flick through it
and I see the posts and I and I,
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we'll talk about social media
now, maybe because I don't feel
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like there's a lot of genuine,
genuine people out there on
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social media.
I feel like a lot of it is
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showing face trying to say the
right thing because you feel
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like you'll get a reward for
saying the right thing.
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But when I read your stuff and
your posts, and I'd implore
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anyone to go and see the
Instagram that we, we said with
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a link down below, it's, it's
full of really helpful tips that
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I look at.
And I think there'll be people
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who can action that right now.
And, and Hayden, you know, maybe
283
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you can take over because you
were you were thinking about
284
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social media in general and it's
just a bit toxic.
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Yeah, it's my thought.
I mean, I saw one of your posts
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is what has inspired it, so I
won't get too much into detail
287
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about that.
But my thoughts are do you have
288
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any tips on on how to navigate
social media?
289
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,320
Because I personally, and I can
just save them, save this from
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00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:53,800
experience.
I get sucked into spending hours
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and hours on social media.
Most of that revolves around
292
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looking at the perfect world,
you know, like Instagram versus
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reality, the classic thing.
And and I saw that you did
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something about how you can, you
know, be in control of that.
295
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,720
Like, what's your advice to
navigating social media?
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00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,720
I mean, first of all, I, I
massively resonate with that and
297
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,800
I, I've struggled with social
media more this year than I ever
298
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:18,400
have before.
And I think it is partly due to
299
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,320
some of the things you really
said, but partly due to the fact
300
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:25,080
that I, I share the posts and
I'll be honest it, I'll spend a
301
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,920
long time on some posts and I'll
really work on it.
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00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:31,280
And they're the posts that don't
tend to be to resonate as much,
303
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,160
whereas the stuff that I just
write and put out there
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suddenly, you know, seems to
resonate.
305
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,440
But anyway, I, I, I worked on
something for not a very long
306
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,800
time and put it out there and
it's, it seemed to resonate with
307
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,200
a lot of people.
And it went like quite unquote
308
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viral sort of thing.
And, and it was a carousel
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around kind of some of the, the,
the reasons why teachers are,
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00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,760
are actually so tired.
So around decision fatigue and
311
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:57,080
perpetual patients and creative
fatigue and all, you know,
312
00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:59,400
absorbing others emotions and
all these other reasons that
313
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:02,520
isn't just getting up early and
going, you know, staying late
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00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:04,920
and stuff.
And, and I put out and then
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00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:08,240
suddenly my, that that
particular platform seemed to
316
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:11,680
grow very quickly overnight.
But ever since then, I've really
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00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:14,760
struggled with social media.
And I think there's a, there's,
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00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:17,360
there's a lot of pressure that
can like if you're a creator, as
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00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,800
they could call you and they put
in that you put in out stuff.
320
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,600
There's a lot of pressure, as
you say, to see the likes and to
321
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,000
see the comments and to get it
quote UN quote right.
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00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,280
And I think that's a lot of
whether you are a creator or
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00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,480
you're just consuming social
media, I think there is a lot of
324
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:32,280
pressure to be right and to get
it right and to not say the
325
00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:33,880
wrong thing and, and everything
else.
326
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,480
So I've really struggled
honestly, the last six months,
327
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:40,120
like I've struggled to, to put
my face on to camera.
328
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:43,880
And I know you, you're amazing
at that, by the way, like watch,
329
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,320
watch all of your stories.
And it's just you just being
330
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,520
yourself, just like just
chatting and.
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00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:50,600
Just that's it, isn't it?
Yeah, I mean, even Dylan said to
332
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,320
me before.
This is hilarious because we had
333
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,520
this conversation honestly when
we were just getting ready what
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00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:55,600
I don't.
Know what you're going to say,
335
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,360
but I was going to say that, you
know, when you started, you were
336
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,120
you'd spend so long trying to
get it perfect 12 takes and try
337
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,400
and do this thing and then when
you when you stop doing that and
338
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:04,360
we're just like, oh, do you know
what?
339
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:06,600
I'm just going to talk as if I'm
talking to me.
340
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:08,080
Then.
Then you just produce loads of
341
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,280
stuff and people start
connecting with it.
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00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:11,240
It's kind of like what you said
about as soon as you were just
343
00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:13,040
like off the Dome.
Just this is how I feel.
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00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:14,960
This is real.
People just connect with it.
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00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,240
It's almost like they can see
through, can't there?
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00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,080
There's well structured things
and they're like, oh, this must
347
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,000
be an advert or this must be
they're trying to get, they're
348
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,080
trying to get something from me.
It's too structured.
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00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,240
That's what I would say,
Charlie, about your, your social
350
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:26,960
media.
I, I consume it right?
351
00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:30,760
And I think I've got three
things I can action now in my
352
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:32,960
job that I can try and do.
And I think that's why I love it
353
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:34,440
so much.
And I would implore anyone to go
354
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:37,080
and flick through it because
that it could be so easy to fall
355
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:40,080
into that trap of like you said,
whether you're consuming or
356
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:43,440
creating.
I as a consumer, go on and I, I
357
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:46,280
can scroll through 10 things and
I won't remember any of them
358
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:49,600
immediately, right?
Whereas with good content, I
359
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,760
can, it like strikes a chord,
like you said.
360
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:55,440
And as a creator, I want to just
touch on what you said there,
361
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,920
because I suppose I've fallen
into that role of creator now in
362
00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:02,360
terms of I'll be in charge of
the Instagram and for for months
363
00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:04,480
and months, Hayden would say to
me, you must be enjoying it.
364
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,000
And I was like, do you know what
I was at first?
365
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,440
I really was.
And I'm not, I'm not disliking
366
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,920
it now, but at first it was like
a passion project.
367
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:13,760
I'd, I'd think of a funny meme
that would try and make people
368
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,920
laugh.
Our podcast is quite laid back
369
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,480
again, trying to make people
laugh, but talk about stuff that
370
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:20,680
we think everyone wants to talk
about and getting this
371
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,480
interactions really cool.
And again, in the last like two
372
00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:26,520
to three months, I don't know if
you get any of this, but the two
373
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:29,720
things have happened #1 what
you've mentioned now I've
374
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:33,040
started to think instead of just
having an idea and putting out
375
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:36,680
there, I've started with needing
an idea without having 1.
376
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,280
And I said, oh, I need to put
something out there.
377
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,240
What, what can I put that that
would resonate with people?
378
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,080
And that's so backwards because
you're forcing it at that point.
379
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,680
And the second thing is, you
know, as, as you grow more and
380
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:51,400
more people comment stuff, which
isn't very nice and, and, and it
381
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,040
does link back to that as a
consumer.
382
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:56,920
And I just think what I wanted
to throw to you was, and it was
383
00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:02,160
an amazing post again, which was
you posted as a fitness kind of,
384
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,319
I guess someone who's into their
health and trying to help
385
00:17:04,319 --> 00:17:06,319
people.
You have those photos of you
386
00:17:06,319 --> 00:17:09,720
looking in unbelievable shape,
like traditionally, wow, as a,
387
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,119
as a PT, this is what you'd want
to post because people will see
388
00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:13,480
that and be like, I want to work
with you.
389
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:17,200
And your, and your post wasn't
that it wasn't look what you can
390
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,880
get.
It was guys, I felt awful here
391
00:17:20,319 --> 00:17:23,200
and and that seemed to strike a,
a chord of people again.
392
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:26,400
And I just want to throw it back
to you in terms of are you
393
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:29,120
seeing that pay off, you know,
not going down the traditional
394
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:32,520
route of hooking people in and,
and just thinking, oh, what's
395
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,480
going to get eyes on the screen?
Do you feel like it's actually
396
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:38,000
paying off though and building a
base that you want on social
397
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,560
media rather than just getting
numbers?
398
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:45,040
I think I think that this year's
been a weird one for it.
399
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:47,600
It's been a bit of a bit of a
journey, let's say.
400
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:51,440
So when when that post did do
very well, I then slipped into,
401
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,800
if I'm being honest, I slipped
into or I need to make reels
402
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,840
that are this many seconds.
I need to have a hook and I need
403
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:58,920
to do it.
And I've never, I'd like to
404
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,840
think maybe I have done.
I'd like to think that I've
405
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:05,160
never done something that's just
like, look and there's no
406
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:07,360
substance to it.
Like I try my best to always put
407
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:09,320
value and put some substance
behind it.
408
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,720
But there was definitely a
period, probably around the
409
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:15,000
summer time where I was leaning
more towards that hasn't got as
410
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,400
many views, that hasn't got any
likes.
411
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,440
And I would be talking to
someone who's doing quite well
412
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:21,240
about, but what are you doing?
And what I'm seeing is a lot of
413
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:24,760
social media content is that
very surface level stuff.
414
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:26,960
Exactly as you said, it's very
much hook people in.
415
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:31,720
And I, I follow loads of like
comedy based stuff because I
416
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,440
love, you know, who doesn't love
a good laugh and you know, just
417
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:36,960
silly things.
One at the moment is this guy
418
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,240
and he turns terrible Tinder
conversations into songs.
419
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:45,320
I say that it remains it's, it's
it's worried for the human race,
420
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,640
but it's, it's, it's the stuff
that he does.
421
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,080
He's amazing.
But stuff like that.
422
00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:52,080
But what I'm seeing is loads and
loads of people using that.
423
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,760
There's that real tick tock
occasion of Instagram of social
424
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:58,000
media where it's like, you know,
trending audios and trending
425
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,680
reels and memes and stuff, which
again, I, I love personally, but
426
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:03,800
I, I saw someone's, I'm not
going to name names because I
427
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:04,880
don't think that's not
appropriate.
428
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,720
But I saw someone's page
recently and in their bio, it
429
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:11,160
was like well-being advocate,
like voice for well-being and
430
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:12,800
all this stuff.
And this person was a teacher
431
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:16,520
and just, their page was just
just constant like those 3
432
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:20,720
second memes and stuff because
they were going for that sort of
433
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,000
connection.
They were trying to grow their
434
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,520
following and stuff.
And I I went through just out of
435
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:26,800
interest and I couldn't find
anything to do as well-being, I
436
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,840
mean, comedy, having a good
laugh, increasing oxytocin and
437
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:33,920
stuff like that.
But you know, still it's yeah, I
438
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,560
think there's that whole side of
Instagram and social media in
439
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:39,280
general that is very much about
those vanity metrics and things.
440
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:42,840
And I think as a creator, or
even if you're just posting
441
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,760
casually amongst friends, you
know, when that, when that
442
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,480
doesn't happen, you then have
that comparison.
443
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,320
I think that's a big part of
social media is where you start
444
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,520
to subconsciously compare
yourself to other people.
445
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:54,560
And I actually found myself
doing this not so long ago.
446
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,280
I put out a post and it just
flopped for whatever reason.
447
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,000
Just didn't do well.
I thought it was good.
448
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:03,160
It didn't seem to be.
And I found myself within half
449
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,800
an hour on someone who does
something similar to me to what
450
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,440
I do's page, comparing my page
to their page.
451
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,200
What's that about like?
Why does that matter?
452
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,120
Beat yourself while you're down.
Do you know what I mean?
453
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,320
And yeah, we have social media
that there's a lot.
454
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,520
There's a lot that I feel quite
strongly about in terms of how
455
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:21,640
it can basically take our time
and attention away.
456
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,760
And there's a book by a guy
called Johan Harry called Stolen
457
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:28,800
Focus and it talks about some
really scary statistics.
458
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:32,200
And you know, there's, there's
CEOs and, and heads of marketing
459
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,360
from places like Meta and
Facebook and things who have now
460
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:37,960
left and who are coming out and
speaking against the algorithm
461
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:39,680
and speaking against the like
buttons.
462
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,320
Like the fact that the like
share and comment button, I'm
463
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,760
going to get this wrong is based
on an experiment by a guy called
464
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,520
BBF Skinner.
And I think it was something to
465
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,560
do with trying to get rats to
press a button.
466
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,520
And they, I think they, they
either gave the rats food or
467
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:57,160
they gave the rats water laced
with drugs or something.
468
00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:00,400
And they've as to get them to
perform the habit to press the
469
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:03,600
button, they basically tricked
them and they conditioned them
470
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:07,040
to bit like the whole, is it
Pavlovs dogs and the salivating?
471
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:08,800
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That kind of stuff.
472
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:12,000
So literally the buttons that we
press every day is based on an
473
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,000
experiment in rats, non
conditioning and behaviour.
474
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:16,840
And we're here all the time
using it.
475
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,200
So I've got a bit of a bee in my
bonnet about social media at the
476
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:23,040
moment, which I know is very,
very ironic because it's how we
477
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,920
build our platforms.
It's how we share our ideas with
478
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,560
people, people.
So I, I fully appreciate the
479
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:31,160
irony, but the fact that it can
increase that comparison, it can
480
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,200
make us feel pretty rubbish
about our own lives.
481
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,600
You're looking at the perfect
classroom, you're looking at
482
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,720
perfect kids and the perfect
house.
483
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:40,680
And they've got a new car and
Jeanette's in Barbados for the
484
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,720
third time this year because her
husband makes 500 KA year.
485
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,440
And, you know, you're comparing
yourself to the people and
486
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,960
that's increasing cortisol,
stress hormone, that's
487
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:51,360
increasing adrenaline, that's
keeping you amped up.
488
00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:53,920
And but then we can look at like
the impact on sleep and all of
489
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,200
these different things.
So, yeah, screen time in general
490
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:59,520
with social media can I think is
a big problem for us teachers at
491
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:00,720
the moment.
And that's also from what my
492
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,960
clients are telling me, how it's
impacting sleep.
493
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,520
So you mentioned earlier about
like what, what can we do about
494
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,480
it?
I think in terms of breaking the
495
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:11,080
cycle and breaking the habit
because it is a habit for a lot
496
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:14,560
of people.
If I sometimes early, how rude
497
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,000
can I be on this podcast?
Quite rude.
498
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:19,040
Yeah, this isn't that bad.
Sometimes in the morning, I
499
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,120
treat myself to a sit down we
because I'm tired.
500
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,720
As soon as I sit down in the
loop, I'm scrolling social
501
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:26,280
media.
Right.
502
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:27,360
That's me every time, by the
way.
503
00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:29,760
That's not just morning,
morning, noon, night.
504
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:30,960
That's just sit there.
Amazing, isn't?
505
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,880
It when you get to about 25 you
just realise it's great.
506
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:36,280
Comfort, Comfort over
everything.
507
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,920
And, and, and yeah, I find
myself and, and then like even
508
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:43,280
at the gym, like between sets,
I'll, I'll find myself picking
509
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:44,440
up my phone and like, what am I
doing?
510
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:47,280
What's this about?
So I think in terms of tips
511
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:50,520
breaking that cycle, we know
about neuroplasticity as
512
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:53,280
teachers, we know about rewiring
the brain and repetition and,
513
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:56,000
and changing those habits.
So what we can think about is
514
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,320
literally keeping it out of
arm's reach.
515
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:00,320
That's the most simple thing
that you can do.
516
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,480
So if you're watching TV, get,
get rid of it, get it out, get
517
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:06,800
it out the out the room.
If you're charging your phone
518
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:10,440
next to your bed, don't say that
it's your alarm because yet mine
519
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:11,960
is too.
But go and get yourself.
520
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,120
If you're really struggling, get
yourself an alarm clock and
521
00:23:14,120 --> 00:23:15,760
charge your phone outside the
room.
522
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:19,520
Or at the very least charge your
phone across the room so that if
523
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,200
you want to scroll, you've got
to get out of bed to get it
524
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:22,320
because you're not going to do
that.
525
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,240
So we need to think about our
environment and literally
526
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:27,800
cutting the queue's there, the
phone's going to be there.
527
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:30,040
So we can either get rid of the
queue, get rid of the phone, or
528
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:31,840
we can make it really difficult
to pick it up.
529
00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:34,600
And other things you can do is,
you know, there's lots of apps
530
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:37,320
now to help you block certain,
certain apps.
531
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,960
There's even devices where you
can lock your phone away.
532
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:41,880
You haven't seen it on it like
boxes.
533
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,240
And you just have a Yeah, yeah,
there's all.
534
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,440
These sorts of things, I saw one
the other day where it's like a
535
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:50,000
block you put in your fridge and
you scan the block and then it
536
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,600
blocks your phone.
And then you can use it for
537
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,240
emergency stuff, but you can't
go on social media.
538
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,520
And if you want to then access
it, I think you have to go back
539
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,200
to the block that's on your
fridge.
540
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,240
It's just magnetic.
So people put it in the.
541
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,680
Fridge, so it's just like adding
steps basically between the ease
542
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,680
of just like my phone right now
is here, like I can just pick it
543
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:07,760
up because it's right next to
me.
544
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:12,160
But just putting like 123 layers
between that, you suddenly will
545
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,440
realise you're not bothered
about scrolling through social
546
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,720
media anymore because you're
just doing it as a habit in the
547
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:17,960
same way you might do a
different habit.
548
00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:20,520
Yeah, 100%.
And I think we also need to
549
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,640
appreciate how impactful it is
just on your kind of your, your
550
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,720
neurochemistry.
So when we scroll social media,
551
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:30,160
yes, it gives us that adrenaline
and that cortisol, but Corsol's
552
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:33,240
cousin, if you like to call it a
cousin, it is dopamine.
553
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,040
And also scrolling and consuming
social media will increase your
554
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,200
dopamine.
Dopamine being that reward, that
555
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,040
motivated, that drive a
chemical.
556
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:43,840
It is really, really rewarding.
You don't sit there and go, I
557
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:47,240
feel great as if you'd gone and
cleaned the kitchen or gone and
558
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,480
done a workout or gone and done
the food shopping.
559
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:51,960
After those jobs, you're a bit
like, ah, I feel achieved.
560
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:55,200
I feel accomplished, sorry.
Whereas with social media, it's
561
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:58,040
almost like this drip feeding
open through the.
562
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:01,200
Brain So it's a big effort to go
and clean the kitchen or go for
563
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,560
a run or go and do a workout and
then but the reward's good.
564
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:06,320
But then what's easier is just
get your little drip from a
565
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,080
scroll of the thumb.
Because you know what, and I'm
566
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:10,800
going to bring back round to a
point you mentioned quite a
567
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,520
while ago, because I do want to
come back to it is it's
568
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:16,840
willpower and I'm exhausted all
the time.
569
00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:19,880
So for me, it's like I just
don't have the, you know what?
570
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,680
Maybe I could just put my phone
away.
571
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:23,640
Like the other day I was
watching something on TV and I
572
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:24,800
noticed that I kept out of
habit.
573
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:28,240
Honestly, it sounds pathetic.
Every 30 seconds I picked up, I
574
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:31,400
picked up my phone to just look
at it and I was like, what are
575
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:32,640
you doing?
What am I expecting to see?
576
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,680
Like, oh, I'll open Instagram
then because I deleted TikTok
577
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:36,280
because I was like, yeah, delete
TikTok.
578
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:38,360
I'm on Instagram just as much as
I was on TikTok.
579
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:40,480
So it's all, it's all really
like, I think I look at it, I'm
580
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:41,680
like, oh, I'm pathetic.
What's wrong with me?
581
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:45,560
But then also I'm, I'm totally,
totally, totally exhausted and I
582
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,360
don't have the willpower to get
up and go and be in the kitchen
583
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:50,360
or just go for a run and try and
be like, come on, I'm going to
584
00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:52,920
retrain my brain.
So you mentioned earlier about
585
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:57,080
teacher exhaustion and you said
you did a post about like some
586
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,600
tips on or some reasons that I
think it was literally just like
587
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:00,560
why you're so exhausted.
Yeah.
588
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,600
I just want to know now because
I am literally that person.
589
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:05,520
I'm constantly exhausted turn 2,
Todd.
590
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,000
But anyway, I'm always
exhausted.
591
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:08,840
Like why?
What's wrong with me?
592
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,760
Why am I so exhausted all the
time?
593
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:13,520
Yeah.
I think what there are, there
594
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,760
are there are lots of different
reasons we could probably list
595
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:18,520
50, right?
But some of the ones that
596
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:20,640
surprise people are some of the
things like that.
597
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,440
First of all, there's that
decision fatigue.
598
00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:27,360
So if you, if you think of,
again, this isn't particularly
599
00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:30,640
scientific, but if you think of
the brain, if you're thinking of
600
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:33,880
your neurons, sorry.
So your brain cells as little
601
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,040
people.
Again, this would be the least
602
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:38,600
scientific explanation.
We're primary school teachers.
603
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,800
This is what we do, OK?
Little people, little people in
604
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,080
your brain, those little people
have to eat right.
605
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:46,200
So they, they eat glucose,
right?
606
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:48,360
But they also then have to do
the other thing.
607
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:52,080
So the brain knows this, that
they create metabolic waste,
608
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,080
right?
They eat and, and you use them
609
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,280
and they, they poop stuff out.
So the brain has this like clean
610
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,160
up team.
But the problem is, is that for
611
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,920
that clean up team to really do
their job, you actually have to
612
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,360
rest.
Like you actually have to do
613
00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:06,600
nothing.
So that could be going for a
614
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:10,040
walk, that could be meditating,
it could be closing your eyes
615
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:12,880
and listening to music.
It could, it could, it could
616
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:14,240
just be having a like a long
shower.
617
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:18,120
But what this allows your brain
to do is go from the central
618
00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:21,960
executive network, which is like
you're engaged writing, I'm
619
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,400
planning, I'm problem solving,
I'm you're doing something,
620
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:29,800
which is what teachers do 10
hours a day to what we call the
621
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:33,560
default mode network, which is
kind of like your, your, I call
622
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,920
it your passive network.
But it's kind of you're like I
623
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,560
say, you're doing something that
is maybe habitual, like doing
624
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,920
the dishes in the shower,
whatever.
625
00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:44,640
And what this allows your brain
to do is to again, connect the
626
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:49,000
dots, sort of sort your memories
emotionally processed, but it
627
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,440
allows that that clean up crew
time to go round and to clear
628
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:55,640
some there's waste.
So one thing is to connect to
629
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:59,000
that is like decisions, not only
is it say we've like switched on
630
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,120
for 10 hours a day and that
clean up crew's not getting time
631
00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:04,360
to work, but we're making so
many decisions and people, you
632
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:07,480
know, like say like that, that
self talk, if you like, if I'm
633
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:09,680
pathetic, I've got no willpower,
why can't I do this?
634
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:11,240
What's wrong with me that that's
a big one?
635
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,680
What's wrong with me?
And we get this really negative
636
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:16,520
self-image come up because we're
just, you know, really, really
637
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:18,320
tired.
But when it comes to little,
638
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:22,240
seemingly little decisions like
what's for dinner, we then beat
639
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:23,240
ourselves up because we can't
think.
640
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:24,600
I'm getting get McDonald's
again.
641
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:26,200
Okay, yeah, we've all done that.
You.
642
00:28:26,360 --> 00:28:29,320
Make a bad decision, yeah.
Yeah, we've all done that and we
643
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:31,840
beat ourselves up for it.
And that self-image gets
644
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:33,760
consolidated.
And it's almost like James
645
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:36,240
Clear, who wrote Atomic Habits,
talks about casting votes for
646
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,760
identities.
And every time you do something,
647
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:40,840
you're, you're just, you're
showing yourself what kind of
648
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:42,440
person you want to be, what kind
of person you want.
649
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,240
So every time that you have no
willpower, let's just say,
650
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:48,960
because you're just exhausted.
And it's a very human thing.
651
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,760
You're then making decisions
that are reinforcing your
652
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,520
identity, which then leads you
to make more of those decisions.
653
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:58,680
So yeah, a few things.
We, we, we're constantly engaged
654
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:01,280
as teachers.
Our brains, tonnes and tonnes of
655
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,360
decisions.
I saw a post, I don't think
656
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:06,520
anyone can really quantify it,
but it's like we make 1500
657
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:10,040
teachers or a decision, sorry,
as as a teacher or we make more
658
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,880
decisions than a brain surgeon.
There's all those stats out
659
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:14,640
there.
And we, we probably do, let's be
660
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,200
honest, because we're making
decisions.
661
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:18,640
I think I think someone said
it's every 4 seconds.
662
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,600
I read when it's.
About right when I think about
663
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:21,520
my day.
Teaching.
664
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:24,120
I think about teaching.
I'm so engaged in the moment of
665
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,320
teaching, right?
And it is genuinely because I
666
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:27,680
am.
I am like, totally.
667
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:29,440
It's like playing a game that
you're really into, right?
668
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,120
And you're totally absorbed.
I'm like that for six hours a
669
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:34,520
day with kids.
And I'm constantly, constantly
670
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:37,320
assessing and making decisions
about each of the 32 kids in
671
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:38,720
that class.
So it makes sense.
672
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,640
Yeah, 100%.
So you've got those things going
673
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:42,600
on.
You obviously got like that
674
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:45,080
chronic courses, all buildups
have been that stress hormone.
675
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:48,240
Teaching is, I think when people
say teaching is a stressful job,
676
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,160
it's like the understatement of
the century.
677
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:54,440
But you, you are taking on,
you're taking on those
678
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,280
children's emotions.
You're taking on colleagues
679
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:58,520
emotions.
You're taking on, you know, in
680
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:03,520
2024, we're now taking on the
emotions of the family and the
681
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,280
grandparents and this person,
this person.
682
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:09,200
And as a teacher, you are a
teacher, a social worker, a
683
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:12,480
nurse.
Every other job under the sun is
684
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:15,280
condensed and we can get into
the politics of why that is
685
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:18,200
Maybe.
But you're doing all those
686
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:19,600
things.
So you're absorbing all those
687
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:21,960
emotions and that chronic
cortisol build up because you're
688
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:25,640
you're stressed.
And one thing that our brains
689
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,400
are built for is is stress.
So when people say, you know,
690
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:31,360
I'm really stressed, I think
what we mean is I'm chronically
691
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:32,720
stressed and I'm not recovering
enough.
692
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:35,680
Because as humans, our brains
and bodies, we are built to
693
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:39,160
experience stress, which is
great because we go out and we,
694
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:44,240
you know, we fight off a bear
and we then pick some berries or
695
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,640
we build a shelter and it falls
down and that's really annoying.
696
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:49,000
So then we build it up again and
we build a fire in the rain and
697
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,800
we go and hunt an animal and we
run for six hours and all this
698
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:53,720
kind of stuff that we are
literally built to do.
699
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:56,800
But then what we used to do is
we would then go back to our
700
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:58,360
caves or we'd go back to
wherever.
701
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:01,400
And then we would sleep 9 hours
and we'd have a big meal and
702
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,720
we'd sing songs and we'd, we'd
rest, we'd switch off, We
703
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:07,440
wouldn't be on our phones,
obviously, we wouldn't be
704
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:08,920
working.
We wouldn't be worrying about
705
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,960
the children in school.
So stress inherently isn't a
706
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:13,240
negative thing.
It's the fact that we're not
707
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:16,640
resting enough because there's
the equation of stress plus rest
708
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,120
equals growth.
And that might be your muscles
709
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:21,680
in the gym, It might be your
resilience to, to certain
710
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:24,120
emotions.
It might be studying at
711
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:25,960
university to become a teacher
or whatever.
712
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,400
Like when you stress your brain,
you go away, you recover, you
713
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:30,760
come back stronger.
But as teachers, we're we're
714
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:33,200
stuck in that stress, stress,
stress.
715
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:34,880
There's no stress, rest and
growth.
716
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,040
So there's, yeah, there's a lot
of a lot of factors that play
717
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:39,120
into it.
There's a few others.
718
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:41,000
Physically, it's exhausting.
Like a lot of people are on
719
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,680
their feet for hours upon hours
of the day.
720
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:44,200
I think that's understated, by
the way.
721
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:47,320
I think, I think that's
something that in general, even
722
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,480
teachers themselves don't
necessarily think about because
723
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:51,800
we're so focused on.
Yeah, we're stressed.
724
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:54,040
Could we feel it here?
You're right.
725
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,840
Like when I, when I finish the
day of teaching, I, I sit down
726
00:31:56,840 --> 00:32:01,040
and I realise, I almost then
realise I'm exhausted and, and
727
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:03,200
do you see that a lot of
teachers where they kind of
728
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:05,080
don't even think about that.
We've got to tell them you are
729
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:08,080
exhausted physically as well.
Yeah, 100%.
730
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:10,600
And it's almost that some people
call it fight or flight.
731
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:12,680
And I think that's a little bit
overused.
732
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:15,240
You know, a lot of time we're
not actually in that true
733
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:17,720
sympathetic nervous system.
We're not actually in fight or
734
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,920
flight and, but we are
definitely approaching it and
735
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:24,200
we, we, we do run on adrenaline.
We run on coffee and cortisol
736
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,400
and adrenaline, right, is what
we're fuelled by.
737
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:29,760
And when you are running on
adrenaline, your, your world
738
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:33,080
sort of shrinks a little bit.
And when you're, when you are in
739
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,360
fight or flight, your vision
literally does this, which is
740
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:38,360
why going outside and expanding
your field of vision can really
741
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:42,280
help increase serotonin, you
know, peaceful, calm, contented
742
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:44,120
chemical and then decrease cool
stuff.
743
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:47,480
So literally go outside and just
look at, look at an expansive
744
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:50,560
space and you'll literally feel,
I feel less stressed in that
745
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,200
moment.
You know what I love about this,
746
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,440
this chat in general, I'm just
going to reflect on it now.
747
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:57,400
Like our listeners might be,
you're saying so much stuff that
748
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,920
people might have heard before,
but the reason I'm so engrossed
749
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,960
and really loving this talk
right now is because you're
750
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,360
explaining it as well.
You know, like it's so common
751
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,520
for someone to say, go outside
and I'll say it.
752
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:11,360
I'll say go outside, go outside
at lunchtime, go outside.
753
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:14,200
And I'm like, if they ever asked
me why, I'd just be like,
754
00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:17,920
because that's what people say.
But what I love, what I love
755
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:20,360
about what you do, Charlie, is
you know what you're talking
756
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,880
about and you back it up with
because of that, like you said,
757
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:24,720
your video, you're in fight or
flight, your visions going to be
758
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,760
this helps you and the idea of
the cortisol build up.
759
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:30,640
And I'm hoping what people are
getting from this listening is,
760
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:33,720
you know, the big thing I'm
going to take from it is the
761
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:38,080
idea that stress is a good thing
because I never even
762
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,440
contemplated that.
And it makes so much sense when
763
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,960
you just break it down.
We're we're wired to feel
764
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:45,120
stress.
That's why after thousands of
765
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,080
years of evolution, we still
feel stress is because it can
766
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:51,360
help us in certain situations.
Like you said, when we're
767
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:53,120
fighting off a bit, of course
we're going to feel stressed at
768
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:54,440
that spot at that point.
That's normal.
769
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:58,320
But breaking the cycle and
having rest, it's like, yeah,
770
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:00,640
that is something we can say to
our listers and our teachers
771
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:02,680
right now.
We can say, God, This is why,
772
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:05,680
because if you don't have that
break from stress, you're going
773
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:07,840
to feel it.
I personally, I don't know how
774
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:10,560
it obviously, I know Charlie,
you built up to the point where
775
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:12,520
you what you mentioned earlier
about having your panic attack.
776
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:16,840
I, I, I don't feel like I've got
to that point, but I feel like
777
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:20,239
my body displays stress in a
physical way.
778
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:24,280
So I will know I'm stressed.
And I think what you're saying
779
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,159
is, you know, chronically
stressed because I'm always
780
00:34:26,159 --> 00:34:27,920
stressed.
At some point I will know when
781
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:31,080
I'm reaching chronic stress
because I get, you know, severe
782
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,920
heartburn.
My chest hurts and, and, and
783
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:38,400
I've got to the point now in my
career where I think I know that
784
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:41,280
something's building up and
getting into a bad place because
785
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:44,159
of my physical reaction.
And I can't see the hints and
786
00:34:44,159 --> 00:34:46,280
the tips and, and the idea
before that.
787
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:49,600
So what, what I basically want
to put back to you is when
788
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:52,600
you're working with a teacher
who feels this stress, do you
789
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:55,920
feel like, do you find that it's
quite individual or are there
790
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,440
also just this blanket things
you can say to everyone?
791
00:34:58,440 --> 00:34:59,720
Like what?
What's your process with
792
00:34:59,720 --> 00:35:02,960
someone?
Yeah, I mean, 100% I I always
793
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:06,320
give the most annoying answer,
which is it just depends.
794
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:08,680
Yeah, exactly.
It's not an answer, but yeah,
795
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:10,360
it's really, really annoying.
But it just.
796
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,800
Yeah.
But like, if if I take one of
797
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:16,720
you guys and I compare you to my
client Sarah, actually, no,
798
00:35:16,720 --> 00:35:19,800
let's pick someone else.
If I compare you to my client,
799
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:22,560
Sam, Right.
She doesn't have she doesn't
800
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:26,840
have any children at the moment,
doesn't have a partner at the
801
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:29,080
moment, works in different
school to you is a different age
802
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:32,720
to you different gender life
experience different like you
803
00:35:32,720 --> 00:35:37,080
are completely different people.
So if I was to say to Sam to
804
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:40,600
give some perspective shifts or
some options to Sam and talk her
805
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:43,160
and coach her through it, it
would be completely different to
806
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:44,720
what I might talk to you guys
about.
807
00:35:44,720 --> 00:35:48,000
And I think that is so, so
important because you do go back
808
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,640
to social media very quickly.
We live in a world where people
809
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:54,800
have very limited time, very
limited headspace, very limited
810
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:57,240
bandwidth.
So we are living in this world
811
00:35:57,240 --> 00:36:00,880
of ultra fast information and we
have more information than ever,
812
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:02,280
which is actually becoming a
problem.
813
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:05,760
I feel for people's well-being
and everything is so black and
814
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:07,760
white, pigeonholed and
categorised because that's how
815
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:11,520
you get views on a story and say
right, you stress, well it kind
816
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:14,320
of depends and I would spend 10
minutes talking about why it
817
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:15,720
depends.
No one's watching that.
818
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:18,600
Whereas if I come on and say,
put it to a nutrition
819
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,640
perspective, sugar is killing
you, your cereal is really bad,
820
00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:24,000
bad for you.
You know, you've got to eat eggs
821
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:27,320
for every meal.
You know, I'm still, I saw, I
822
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:29,400
saw a diet the other day that
where you're not allowed to
823
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:30,680
drink water.
And I just thought, what's?
824
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:32,720
Oh stop the planet, I want to
get off.
825
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:34,280
Yeah, we've reached the end
point if that's.
826
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:36,480
If that's what it's been, but
it's.
827
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:38,880
By the way, guys, have you ever
tried not eating?
828
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,240
Wow.
OK, It's like, come on.
829
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:45,240
Geez, it's honestly bad.
It's these, these, these, it's,
830
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:46,760
they're not even sound bites
anymore.
831
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:47,920
They're shorter than sound
bites.
832
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:51,840
So yeah, this is the thing, you
know, health, well-being,
833
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:54,120
whatever it is, where it's your
nutrition, your sleep, your
834
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,320
mental health, yourself image,
whatever.
835
00:36:56,880 --> 00:37:00,320
It's so much more complex
because we are complex.
836
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:03,080
It's all simple on paper.
You know, for example, take
837
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:04,880
weight loss, calories in versus
calories out.
838
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:06,840
Yeah, cool.
But what about someone's
839
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:08,560
relationship with food?
What about how someone's
840
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:09,960
sleeping?
What about someone's menstrual
841
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,240
cycle?
What about, you know, so yeah,
842
00:37:12,240 --> 00:37:14,160
sorry, I'm kind of going off a
tangent here, but no, you're
843
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:15,480
worried basically it it does
depend.
844
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:18,360
However, I think there are some
some common themes with
845
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:21,760
particularly with teachers.
As teachers, we, again, I'd
846
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:23,680
never want to tell someone how
they feel or what they
847
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:25,520
experience because that's so
individual.
848
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:29,080
But going just from me, going
from all the, the teachers I
849
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,320
work with, what I tend to see is
that we're very, very hard on
850
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:33,480
ourselves.
We do set very, very high
851
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:36,440
expectations.
We can sometimes be a bit
852
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:39,440
impatient in terms of results.
I think that's humans in
853
00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:41,280
general.
But I think as teachers, we are
854
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:44,480
constantly told you get that
child from working towards to
855
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:47,080
greater depth within two weeks
and you've got the right of
856
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:48,600
motivation.
How are you going to do this?
857
00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:53,160
We're told to to do five years
of progress in five weeks.
858
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:56,800
And I do think that that the
term time constraints where we
859
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,560
are on a 6-8 week countdown
constantly.
860
00:37:59,920 --> 00:38:02,760
All of that I feel sometimes
feeds into a bit of impatience.
861
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:06,040
Plus we use all our patience
from the children and their
862
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,520
parents and our colleagues and
everyone else.
863
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:12,080
There are a few things.
So I think starting small is
864
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,280
good.
And that's really uncomfortable
865
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:17,960
for teachers because we, we, we
want to do a 10 out of 10 job.
866
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:20,960
But actually what happens is we
do a 10 out of 10 for a Monday,
867
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,160
Tuesday, it kind of falls off by
the Wednesday.
868
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:27,400
Whereas if we were to say right,
OK, I'm a zero, let's do it 2
869
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,240
out of 10 for a fortnight.
Cool.
870
00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:31,160
I'm gonna wake up and have a
glass of water.
871
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:33,400
I'm gonna put an apple in my bag
and actually eat it.
872
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:35,640
I took the Mickey out of my
partner because she's got two
873
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:39,480
satsumas that literally they go
out for a day trip and then they
874
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,600
come back again.
I end up throwing faces on them
875
00:38:41,720 --> 00:38:44,720
and give them the names because
like, yeah.
876
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:46,640
You're just exposing me.
I hate this.
877
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:49,560
Like my Apple described, Hayden,
My apple does that every day.
878
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:51,200
It goes, goes, goes to school
with me.
879
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:52,720
Oh, it comes back, goes back in
the thing.
880
00:38:52,720 --> 00:38:55,680
But something Charlie said
there, which Hayden we've spoken
881
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:58,400
about a million times, maybe we
can go in a bit more detail, is
882
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:03,240
that idea of setting the bar way
too high and, and that idea of,
883
00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:05,920
well, do you know what?
If I'm not going to become Mo
884
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:09,200
Farah overnight with my running,
why would I bother going out and
885
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:12,640
trying even to fail?
And you, you've talked about
886
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:15,320
this Hayden before, where you,
you, you just, you want to be
887
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:17,160
amazing at stuff straight away.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
888
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:20,200
And I get and I get frustrated.
I and I know you're the same.
889
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:22,320
We're both very much and it's
terrible.
890
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:25,040
I'm embarrassed by this mindset
of unless I'm going to be
891
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,480
negative self talk here, no, but
it is because I want to change.
892
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:29,320
I need to change this.
But my mindset of a lot of
893
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:32,080
things is unless I'm the best of
it, I don't want to do it then.
894
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:33,600
And it's really bad.
And that's the same way.
895
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:35,840
And I think that does boil down
to even those smaller decisions,
896
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:37,920
you know, like you thought you
were saying, like, I don't want
897
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:40,480
to cook dinner because it's not
going to be the best dinner.
898
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:42,160
So I'll get a takeaway.
It's like, well, hang on.
899
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:43,920
There was probably a middle
ground there that was
900
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:45,320
considerably better than, better
than.
901
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:46,880
Yeah, well, it might have been
like a 10 out of 10 healthy
902
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:48,440
meal, but at least it's
homemade.
903
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:50,760
And yeah, OK, you use something
which might not be ideal, like a
904
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:53,600
sauce from a jar instead of make
it, but that's still better than
905
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,080
the McDonald's.
Right, Yeah, exactly.
906
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:57,320
And exercise, like I kind of
want to talk about exercise
907
00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:01,880
maybe now or soon, but like I
don't since we since we had our
908
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,560
children, I say we as if we had
the same child, we had some
909
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:06,440
children around the same time
and since we had.
910
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:09,760
With our children around the
same time I've I've genuinely
911
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:12,560
done no, I've done no exercise,
no high intensity exercise.
912
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:14,600
Obviously, like you said, I'm
walking around the class and all
913
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:15,960
day.
I get my steps up at school
914
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:19,200
where I'm just constantly
moving, but I haven't done any
915
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:22,880
high intensity exercise in a in
a year now And I and it does
916
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:24,760
really worry me.
I'm starting to get stressed
917
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:26,600
annoyingly, another layer of
stress.
918
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:29,760
I'm getting stressed at the fact
that I'm not now doing exercise
919
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:32,240
like I just, I just I feel very
lost.
920
00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:34,520
So talking to you is really nice
because I'm I'm starting to fit
921
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,160
like little quick wins.
For example, you made me realise
922
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:39,880
I don't even I don't even rest
because when I rest, when I'm
923
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:44,200
resting, quote unquote, I'm on
social media like it's not even
924
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:45,560
resting, is it?
That's what you're that's what
925
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,200
you're saying is like that's not
true.
926
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:48,840
Resting like meditation would be
much better.
927
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:51,600
But anyway, back to exercise.
What what do you have any any
928
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,680
advice on?
Like just breaking that first
929
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:57,000
boundary then and not?
Doing nothing.
930
00:40:57,480 --> 00:41:00,120
Yeah, I think this is good.
And this, this goes to answer
931
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:02,280
that that question from before,
like what, what advice would you
932
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:03,600
give?
So let's talk about like
933
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:05,800
lowering the expectations we've
talked about then kind of
934
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:08,600
starting small, you know, so
that both of those things would
935
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:10,800
apply, apply to exercise, I
think as well.
936
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:14,440
Like just from what you said
there, you're a parent, right?
937
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:17,040
I'm not a parent yet.
And I know my partner
938
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:18,880
desperately wants it to be part
of our future.
939
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,400
Hopefully it can happen because
again, you, you never know these
940
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:23,280
things.
I've learned a lot of lessons
941
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:27,680
well through working with
teachers and clients of you
942
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:29,640
never comment on someone's body,
you never comment on what
943
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:33,320
someone's eating and you don't
comment on children and families
944
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:34,640
because some people don't want
them.
945
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:36,760
Some people do, and sadly, some
people can't have them.
946
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:40,080
So I'm very much aware that it
might be part of our future.
947
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,160
It might not be, but hopefully
it will.
948
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:47,600
And if it is, then I just want
to say I have the most, you
949
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:52,080
know, outstanding admiration for
parents because it it's, it's a
950
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:55,520
full, it's two full time jobs in
one plus you then you've got
951
00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:57,480
teaching, which is like two or
three full time jobs.
952
00:41:57,480 --> 00:41:59,400
So you're kind of doing like
like full time jobs here.
953
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:03,320
You're clocking them up.
You've got this.
954
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:05,960
So I think self compassion is
what I'm getting at.
955
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:07,360
Self compassionate, right,
right.
956
00:42:07,720 --> 00:42:10,720
I'm not who I used to be, you
know, and hopefully you feel
957
00:42:10,720 --> 00:42:13,320
like you're in a, in a happier
chapter of life than, you know,
958
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:15,160
kind of move.
Things are moving the way you
959
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:16,880
want and life is how you want it
to be.
960
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:19,560
But that means that things,
certain things change.
961
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,440
And I don't think that sacrifice
is necessarily the right word
962
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:25,720
because it makes it sound like a
real negative, but things are
963
00:42:25,720 --> 00:42:27,280
different.
Things are just different.
964
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,840
And you know, for me, taking
that social media example,
965
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:33,400
things are different now in
November than where they were in
966
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:34,960
March.
And life's different and
967
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:37,760
business is different and
coaching is different.
968
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:40,320
And I think when you're thinking
about this changed back to
969
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:44,080
exercise and trying to move it
back towards that knowing and
970
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:46,480
just being compassionate of
Kate, life isn't where it was
971
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:49,720
and I don't have the energy and
what the human brain will do.
972
00:42:49,720 --> 00:42:52,280
We have this really fun thing
and safe fun.
973
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,280
Sarcastically, it's called the
negativity bias.
974
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,680
We have unbelievable amounts of
biases.
975
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:01,040
We have cognitive dissonance.
We have confirmation bias.
976
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:04,440
We have negativity bias.
Loads of things actually turning
977
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:06,680
back to stress can make things
quite difficult for us.
978
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:09,520
So what will happen with this
negativity bias?
979
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:11,720
It will drive you towards things
that are, it will drive your
980
00:43:11,720 --> 00:43:14,480
attention Once Upon a time.
It's there to keep you alive, to
981
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:16,360
keep you safe.
Because if you go out into the
982
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,920
woods and you're smelling the
roses instead of looking out for
983
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:21,200
the bear, the bear's going to
beat you and you're not going to
984
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,480
pass your jeans on.
So we developed, we evolved to
985
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:25,400
have this inherent negativity
bias.
986
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:29,240
So we always spot the negative
over the positive always, which
987
00:43:29,240 --> 00:43:31,160
is where things like gratitude
stuff can come in.
988
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:34,040
But what will happen with this
negativity bias is it will make
989
00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:35,920
you focus on things that are
outside your control.
990
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:39,720
So with the exercise example, I
don't have the energy, I don't
991
00:43:39,720 --> 00:43:40,840
have the morning routine I used
to.
992
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:42,240
I don't know.
I can't, I can't, I can't, I
993
00:43:42,240 --> 00:43:43,280
can't.
And we will.
994
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,200
We'll, we'll, we'll do it.
We'll focus on the reasons we
995
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,120
can't.
So what I'm saying is get to the
996
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:50,680
things that you can.
So can it be literally?
997
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:52,600
And it sounds ridiculous and
people won't do this because
998
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:56,600
they feel they feel it will be
so insignificant, but can it be?
999
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,560
You put your shoes in the car,
your trainer's in the car.
1000
00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:01,920
And after work, you put your
trainers on and you go for a
1001
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:03,840
walk.
And on that walk, you see two
1002
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:05,800
lampposts and you say, right,
I'm going to jog between those
1003
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:09,040
two lampposts, which might be
like 15 seconds, say.
1004
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:11,360
And then you walk the next
lamppost and then you jog the
1005
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:12,600
next one and you walk the next
one.
1006
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,680
And before you know it, you've
done 5 or 10 minutes movement.
1007
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:19,480
You've increased your heart
rate, you started to to get
1008
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:21,960
those muscles working and you
started to actually build up
1009
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,840
your cardiovascular system.
And if you were to, people won't
1010
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:26,440
do it because.
They they think it won't make a
1011
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:29,720
difference if you were to do
that twice a week, that walk,
1012
00:44:29,720 --> 00:44:33,000
run, walk, run lamppost thing
twice a week for a month.
1013
00:44:33,720 --> 00:44:36,440
By the end of the month, you're
you're a runner, you're running
1014
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,760
for 10 minutes and then you're
running 5K by by the end of
1015
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:42,600
2020.
I don't know, a bit too soon by
1016
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:45,680
the end of January.
What I'm saying is folks, what
1017
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:48,040
you can control, try and look
for the really, really small
1018
00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:49,960
wins and just lower that by
expectation.
1019
00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:54,640
I would honestly say going out
for a walk will will be the
1020
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:56,320
spark that then gets other
things going.
1021
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:59,240
I think almost every client I've
ever coached, if they if they're
1022
00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:01,120
now in the gym or if they're
swimming or if they're doing
1023
00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:03,400
yoga or if they're working out
at home, it's because they've
1024
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:04,920
started with with a 5 minute
walk.
1025
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:07,480
I'll give you another example.
I was on a coaching call with a
1026
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:11,760
client on Tuesday and she was
really, she's really struggling
1027
00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:14,000
with her at the moment with her,
she's changed jobs loads, new
1028
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,120
responsibilities, new role, lots
of stress.
1029
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,400
There's lots of things going on
in her personal life and she's
1030
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:21,760
been struggling to to get some
movement, some morning movement
1031
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:23,440
in and she knows it makes her
feel really good.
1032
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:25,320
And this is going to sound
ridiculous again.
1033
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:27,160
People are just going to think
what's the point?
1034
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:31,200
But what we're doing is she's
going to leave her flat, she is
1035
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:35,920
going to walk to her car, which
is like A10 metre walk, walk to
1036
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:37,920
a car.
She's going to unlock it and put
1037
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:39,520
a bag in.
She's going to unlock it again
1038
00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:42,120
and she's going to walk 30
seconds away from her car,
1039
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:45,400
timing it on her phone, turn
around and walk 30 seconds back
1040
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:47,600
to her car because that's a
minute of walking.
1041
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:50,480
And then she's then going to
walk away from her car for a
1042
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:51,560
minute.
And we're going to build this up
1043
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:54,480
and build this up.
So over the rest of this half
1044
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:57,000
term, by the time she gets the
Christmas holidays, she's going
1045
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:58,880
to be doing a fifth.
Well, we haven't actually worked
1046
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:02,040
out the mass, but she's going to
be doing like a 1520 minute walk
1047
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:05,720
most mornings because we decided
one of the things was that she
1048
00:46:05,720 --> 00:46:08,920
keeps snoozing her alarm.
So we need to acknowledge that
1049
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:12,200
if that is a barrier, what, Even
if she snoozes her alarm, what
1050
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:14,640
can she do at the moment?
She can afford.
1051
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:17,080
Even if she's late, she can
afford to be late by an extra
1052
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:19,640
minute by walking away from the
car for 30 seconds and going
1053
00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:20,200
back.
Yeah.
1054
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:22,120
And this all sounds ridiculous,
I know.
1055
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:24,040
It doesn't doesn't no, it
doesn't it.
1056
00:46:24,240 --> 00:46:27,400
Doesn't it's really helpful
because it's about the as we
1057
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:29,160
know with neuroplasticity in
building habits, it's about the
1058
00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:31,440
repetition.
It's not about the intensity,
1059
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:33,240
it's about the frequency.
Yeah, right.
1060
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:35,440
So it's not small.
It makes sense.
1061
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:38,880
The, the, the I'm, I'm on board
with you because honestly, if
1062
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:42,000
you'd said that to me about a
year ago or two years ago, I
1063
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:43,840
probably would have thought,
yeah, it does sound ridiculous,
1064
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:46,160
right?
But that the only reason that
1065
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:49,240
sounds ridiculous is the mindset
that we are currently stuck in,
1066
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:52,960
which is unless you're going for
1/2 an hour jog before you get
1067
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:55,080
in your car in the morning,
what's a minute going to do?
1068
00:46:55,240 --> 00:46:57,240
And you, you've perfectly
explained what a minute does.
1069
00:46:57,240 --> 00:46:59,880
So everyone's listening to this
thinking, I do nothing.
1070
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:03,120
I do literally nothing.
There is absolutely nothing out
1071
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:05,640
there that can't convince me
that a minute walk isn't better
1072
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:08,080
than a 0 minute walk.
And once you do a minute walk,
1073
00:47:08,240 --> 00:47:09,840
why wouldn't it turn into a 2
minute walk?
1074
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:11,920
A 3 minute walk.
That's the allure for me.
1075
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:13,480
I mean, that's where you've
really got my mind.
1076
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:14,640
You've clicked.
I've just clicked now.
1077
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:16,920
It's not about the minute walk.
It's about the fact that it
1078
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:19,160
unlocks the two-minute walk and
it's about the fact that that
1079
00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:20,320
then unlocks the three minute
walk.
1080
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:21,480
It's the butterfly effect, isn't
it?
1081
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:23,680
I can see that and it works.
And I get that because I'm a
1082
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:25,360
teacher and I do have kids all
the time, like.
1083
00:47:25,720 --> 00:47:27,840
Why do I not you know?
This, this is the point I wanted
1084
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:30,120
to make right now.
I don't know, having worked with
1085
00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:32,360
teachers, Charlie and being a
teacher and our partners are all
1086
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:34,480
teachers as well.
The thing that strikes me the
1087
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:37,040
most about this whole health
well-being, looking after
1088
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:41,640
yourself is our entire job and
our like purpose in life is to
1089
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:44,680
look after other people and help
them and see them develop and
1090
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:47,560
watch them go from A to B in the
best way possible.
1091
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:49,760
That's also good for their
well-being that keeps them safe,
1092
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,800
that makes them happy.
We are experts at doing that.
1093
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:56,160
But when it comes to doing it to
ourselves and seeing ourselves
1094
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:57,760
as a human being, that's
worthwhile.
1095
00:47:58,200 --> 00:47:59,880
Hayden.
Hayden would never say to a
1096
00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:02,000
child in this class, oh, that's
pathetic.
1097
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,600
That's pathetic that you can't,
that you can't do your own.
1098
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:06,760
You make your own healthy life.
That's what do you mean you
1099
00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:08,120
can't put a front of the verb on
our sentence.
1100
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:09,440
We've just practised it.
That's awful.
1101
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:12,320
You're an awful human being.
Do you find that with teachers
1102
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:15,440
we have like, this huge
disparity, as much as I see it,
1103
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:17,640
in terms of how you treat other
people and how you treat
1104
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:21,040
yourself?
Oh yes, this is.
1105
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:23,600
I've been so fascinated with
this recently.
1106
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:27,640
I've been doing a lot of reading
around it and I've written a few
1107
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:30,280
posts about it and stuff because
this is me in a nutshell.
1108
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:33,000
This is exactly what one of my
big barriers were.
1109
00:48:34,320 --> 00:48:36,760
I might go on a rant that
tangent here, so maybe this will
1110
00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:42,680
be split into two episodes, but
essentially the thing that I'm
1111
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,080
finding fascinating at the
moment is this.
1112
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:48,040
Like say this disparity between
the worth and the value and the
1113
00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:51,480
respect we give and put on
others and the same with
1114
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:53,920
ourselves and the value and
everything.
1115
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:57,800
So what I find is that for a lot
of teachers, they do see it.
1116
00:48:57,800 --> 00:48:59,480
Again, never want to tell
someone how they're feeling.
1117
00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:02,600
But from what I can see, a lot
of teachers struggle to put
1118
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:06,120
themselves first because they
don't feel deserving of it or
1119
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:10,000
they have they don't feel like
they are worthy of their time
1120
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:11,560
and that others are more worthy
than them.
1121
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:13,960
So then we get into the the
whole realms and the discussion
1122
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:16,000
of like self worth and self
respect.
1123
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:17,840
I think self respect always
sounds quite aggressive.
1124
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:20,080
You know, it sounds quite, I
think it sounds quite sort of
1125
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:22,560
like you have no self respect.
I don't know.
1126
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:25,000
But self worth, let's call it
that.
1127
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:26,880
And it's the way that you see
yourself.
1128
00:49:27,240 --> 00:49:29,040
And I love the analogy, not the
analogy.
1129
00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:33,000
I love the phrase sorry of it's
self first, not selfish.
1130
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:36,800
And actually by putting yourself
first sometimes and again,
1131
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:39,920
particularly as parents and
carers, but but for everyone,
1132
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:42,400
you can't always put yourself
first.
1133
00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:45,120
You know, you just can't.
Let's be realistic about it.
1134
00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:47,840
But in the moments where you
again, negativity bias, looking
1135
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:50,640
for what you can control, in the
moments where you can by putting
1136
00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:54,080
yourself first, you are casting
a ripple into a pond, which
1137
00:49:54,080 --> 00:49:56,080
never stops.
It's the butterfly effect.
1138
00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:58,720
You go for that.
My client's going to go for that
1139
00:49:58,720 --> 00:50:01,640
32nd away from her car, 32nd
back to her car walk.
1140
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:06,240
And that again, might seem far
fetched, but that is going to
1141
00:50:06,240 --> 00:50:08,360
ripple effect throughout the
entire community.
1142
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:12,360
And I, I genuinely believe that.
And maybe not that particular
1143
00:50:12,360 --> 00:50:16,320
32nd walk, but the fact that she
has shown herself and like we
1144
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:19,000
said earlier, James Clear's
casting votes, she's she's cast
1145
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,920
a vote that she matters.
And I know some people might
1146
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:24,960
listen to this and go, oh, this
is a bit too feely insensitive
1147
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:27,440
for me.
But actually, we all, we all
1148
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:29,800
have these feelings, right?
We, we all, we all experience
1149
00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:32,080
this, whether we know it or not.
For most of us, it's on a
1150
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:33,760
subconscious level.
And it definitely was for me.
1151
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:37,600
But casting that vote that you
matter and doing something as
1152
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:42,160
small as a 32nd walk or eating
your lunch without marking.
1153
00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:44,560
And again, each their own.
You know, at times I would mark
1154
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:47,200
and eat so that I could go home
earlier and and beat the family
1155
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:48,840
and some for some people, that's
what they want to do.
1156
00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:50,600
Not going to tell people how to
live their lives.
1157
00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:54,240
But if you decide that, okay,
I'm, I'm, I'm not going to work
1158
00:50:54,240 --> 00:50:56,080
and eat, I'm just going to eat
my lunch and I'm going to watch
1159
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:59,680
the squirrels out the window or
the rain or snow apparently in
1160
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:03,320
November at the moment.
Like I'm just going to be, you
1161
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:05,880
know, try and have that default
mode network brain break sort of
1162
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:07,080
thing.
That is you.
1163
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:09,840
You're not the same as the run
and everything.
1164
00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:14,200
You're not just saying, OK, I'm
going to eat my lunch and I'm
1165
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:16,400
going to digest it a bit better.
I'm not going to feel fuller
1166
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:18,240
because my brain's actually
clocking what I'm eating.
1167
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:21,320
You're saying that you matter
and I don't know how I got on
1168
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:24,280
this point.
However, what what I think is
1169
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:26,640
that it's important for us to
acknowledge that when we, when
1170
00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:29,520
we do put ourselves first, we
cast that stone into the pond.
1171
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:32,400
The ripples then go out and it
will benefit you.
1172
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:34,960
It will, it will benefit how you
show up for the children.
1173
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:37,800
You'll have more patience.
You will feel like you have done
1174
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:40,280
something for yourself and you
will be a better version of
1175
00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:41,640
yourself for everyone around
you.
1176
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:44,440
So although it feels very, very
selfish to put yourself first,
1177
00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:48,400
you might feel undeserving of
that at the moment, actually,
1178
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:51,080
not just knowing the back of
your mind that it, it's, it's
1179
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:54,480
actually quite selfless.
And this kind of takes me back
1180
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:56,400
full circle to to the self worth
thing.
1181
00:51:56,920 --> 00:51:59,720
I just for me personally,
because this is quite deep.
1182
00:51:59,720 --> 00:52:02,360
So I'll, I'll just talk about
myself in in this situation.
1183
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:06,120
But I found that I was wearing,
you hear quite a lot in teaching
1184
00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:08,000
about that busy badge of honour
and all that kind of stuff.
1185
00:52:08,040 --> 00:52:10,320
And I was, I was wearing that
stress.
1186
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:16,040
That stress was like a a cloak,
a gown that I draped over myself
1187
00:52:16,040 --> 00:52:19,200
that I was so proud to wear.
And I'd say to my friends, can't
1188
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:21,000
come to the pub tonight, they
thank you.
1189
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:22,440
I've got marketing to do
actually.
1190
00:52:23,240 --> 00:52:24,840
And the books won't even stay in
my car.
1191
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:27,520
But you know, I'm there thinking
about marking at least on a
1192
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:31,800
Friday night.
And for me, it was because I
1193
00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:34,520
didn't feel deserving.
I didn't feel like I deserved my
1194
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:38,560
own time and attention.
And actually by me being self,
1195
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:42,920
by me almost projecting and
pretending to be selfless by
1196
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:45,360
putting people first is what I'm
getting at.
1197
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:48,280
So you know, I've got to do my
marking.
1198
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:52,000
I've got to go and sort that
thing out at lunchtime.
1199
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:54,360
I'll say yes to that club.
I'm selfless, I'm selfless.
1200
00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:56,960
I'm giving.
I'm giving for me, just me
1201
00:52:56,960 --> 00:53:01,600
personally, I was actually
trying to avoid the discomfort
1202
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:04,160
of saying no to people.
And I was trying to make myself
1203
00:53:04,160 --> 00:53:06,520
feel better.
And I was attaching myself worth
1204
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:09,320
to my job.
So when you look at it that way,
1205
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:12,320
was I actually being selfless or
was I actually being very, very
1206
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:14,560
selfish because I was, I was
giving to others.
1207
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:16,840
But really, if I'm being honest,
it wasn't always for others.
1208
00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:18,440
It was because it made me feel
good, right?
1209
00:53:18,640 --> 00:53:19,680
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
1210
00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:22,480
You know, I mean, it made me
feel like I'm being productive.
1211
00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:25,200
It made me feel worthy.
I could then say that, you know,
1212
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:27,240
I'm the teacher who's always
stressed and I'm, I'm always
1213
00:53:27,240 --> 00:53:30,360
rushing around.
It's just for me again.
1214
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:33,960
Yeah, I know that might not sit
land well with some people, but
1215
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:38,400
for me, I was being very, very
selfish by being so selfless.
1216
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:40,080
Yeah.
Which is a really weird way to
1217
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:41,360
think about it.
I get.
1218
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:44,080
It back back to the pond, you
know, cast that stone and the
1219
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:46,320
ripples will will positively
impact people around you.
1220
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:47,720
Yeah.
I mean, the crux of that as
1221
00:53:47,720 --> 00:53:50,000
well, I think a lot of people
use this kind of, you've gone
1222
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:52,320
into much more detail, but the
analogy I always hear is if you
1223
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:54,200
don't put yourself first, you're
not actually going to be be
1224
00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:56,440
ironically as good as a teacher
as you think you are.
1225
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:59,120
If you're constantly, constantly
exhausted because you're oh, I'm
1226
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:01,400
so selfless, you're actually
like, you're potentially not
1227
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:04,080
even going to be as good as you
would be if you, if you actually
1228
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:05,680
yourself first.
Like we've discussed before,
1229
00:54:06,080 --> 00:54:08,400
about like a long time ago, we
were talking about if we were
1230
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:11,720
leading a school.
My mantra is very much, and I
1231
00:54:11,720 --> 00:54:13,880
think this is a bit
controversial really, is put the
1232
00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:15,040
teachers first.
Genuinely.
1233
00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:17,440
I've always said if I was going
to run a school, my teachers
1234
00:54:17,440 --> 00:54:19,080
would be my top priority.
But everyone's like, oh, no, you
1235
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:20,720
can't say that.
You have to say the kids come
1236
00:54:20,720 --> 00:54:22,080
first.
Yeah, the kids come first.
1237
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:24,280
It's like, Oh, yeah, obviously
I'm not saying I don't care
1238
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:26,760
about the kids, but what I'm
trying to allude to is what you
1239
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:29,640
really nicely described there,
which is if I have happy,
1240
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:33,160
motivated, healthy teachers,
they will do a better job than
1241
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:36,800
the other version of that, which
is what most of us feel all the
1242
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:38,360
time.
But we also, you know, so it's
1243
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:41,360
just so nice hearing you talk
because the other, the other
1244
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:43,840
week we talked about essentially
what you described to me was
1245
00:54:43,840 --> 00:54:45,240
what we were calling teacher
martyrs.
1246
00:54:45,240 --> 00:54:48,120
It's that martyrdom of I must
sacrifice myself to be a good
1247
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:49,400
teacher.
And you do you wear it as a
1248
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:51,280
badge of honour.
We've been there, you've been
1249
00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:52,880
there.
Like a lot of people have
1250
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:55,640
experienced that.
But you, you kind of summarised
1251
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:56,760
it in a really nice sensitive
way.
1252
00:54:56,760 --> 00:54:59,920
We just had a bit of a rant
about like how it's kind of like
1253
00:54:59,920 --> 00:55:01,520
it's ruining the profession
because we can't get stuff done.
1254
00:55:01,640 --> 00:55:04,600
Yeah, but but Charlie is right
though, because like, like we
1255
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:07,080
tried to say in that chat, there
are you can't talk for everyone
1256
00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:10,720
because there'll be some people
who that selfless badge actually
1257
00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:13,960
intrinsically they are probably
being selfless.
1258
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:16,280
Like you talked about how you're
being selfish because you make
1259
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:18,360
it feel good.
I know there is, I know some
1260
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:21,200
teachers right now who I really,
truly don't think of being
1261
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:23,200
selfish, who are trying to be
selfless.
1262
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:25,600
And actually they've got a
pretty good balance with their
1263
00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:26,520
life.
They feel quite healthy.
1264
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:29,280
They're in a different position.
Their home life is so that, you
1265
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:31,520
know, they want to put that
extra time in and they're
1266
00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:34,720
choosing to do so.
I think that the, where it can
1267
00:55:34,720 --> 00:55:38,920
become toxic is what's happening
in the profession where that can
1268
00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:41,800
become expected.
And I think that's where that's
1269
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:44,040
where the burnout happens.
That's where the stress happens,
1270
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:47,000
where teachers who are doing
what you said, what we talked
1271
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:49,680
about earlier in our career,
where we're, we're saying yes to
1272
00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:50,920
everything because we're
teachers.
1273
00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:53,920
And that's a badge of honour.
When that from the powers that
1274
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:56,880
be becomes the norm and
expected, you're never ever
1275
00:55:56,880 --> 00:55:59,520
going to break that cycle
because what you've summed up
1276
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:02,280
today really nicely is the
things you can do to change to
1277
00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:03,720
help your well-being, to help
your health.
1278
00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:07,680
And the thing we talk about
sometimes is we're not saying
1279
00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:12,120
that you can control bosses SLT
toxicity from, you know, the
1280
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:14,120
public, some of the public in
general.
1281
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:17,160
So I just wanted to say thank
you because I think what you're
1282
00:56:17,160 --> 00:56:19,400
giving is tangible advice to
people here.
1283
00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:21,920
As you know, you might find
yourself in a situation we're
1284
00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:23,640
all in teaching.
We can't pretend it's not
1285
00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:25,400
broken.
To an extent we know it is.
1286
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:27,880
But do you know what?
People still love teaching,
1287
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:31,120
People want to get around it.
And I think you've given some
1288
00:56:31,120 --> 00:56:33,800
really solid advice.
There's just one thing I wanted
1289
00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:37,760
to get before we before we do
finish this chat is I want to
1290
00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:41,720
talk about food briefly because
this is something that I know
1291
00:56:41,720 --> 00:56:44,000
Hayden and I and A lot of our
listeners, because we've touched
1292
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:45,200
it before, I really struggle
with.
1293
00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:48,680
So I'm not afraid to say I do
really struggle with food in
1294
00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:51,720
general.
And you talk about emotion LED
1295
00:56:51,720 --> 00:56:55,440
eating before and how teaching
can be that kind of job where
1296
00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:58,280
you reward yourself with this
chocolate cake at the end of the
1297
00:56:58,280 --> 00:56:59,680
day or something.
Or in the staff room.
1298
00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:00,920
Yeah, in the staff room.
Exactly.
1299
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:02,520
There's loads of stuff.
And I just wanted to get your
1300
00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:05,560
insight into your thoughts on
emotion LED eating because I've
1301
00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:09,000
done it before.
Where I'm extremes like we
1302
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:12,080
talked about with with, with,
with exercise, you either you
1303
00:57:12,080 --> 00:57:14,960
want to become a marathon runner
or you might as well not do
1304
00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:16,840
anything.
I have that same mindset with
1305
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:18,360
food.
And I'm wondering if you can
1306
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:21,880
draw parallels maybe with the
exercise because I can cut out
1307
00:57:21,880 --> 00:57:23,160
sugar because I think, right,
cool.
1308
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:25,240
I feel like I'm addicted to
sugar.
1309
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:27,440
Am I addicted?
Can you be addicted to sugar?
1310
00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:29,240
I don't know.
I'm not a scientist, but in my
1311
00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:30,720
head I think, oh, that's my
problem.
1312
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:32,840
It's sugar.
So I'll cut out sugar, I'll lose
1313
00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:34,080
a bunch of weight, I'll feel
great.
1314
00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:38,840
And as soon as I have one thing,
I then justify it.
1315
00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:41,600
Well, I've had that thing
yesterday, okay, four months, no
1316
00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:43,040
sugar, but I had a chocolate by
yesterday.
1317
00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:44,720
Nothing happened.
I'll have another two today.
1318
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:49,560
And then I spiral back and I'm
up, down, up, down and teaching
1319
00:57:49,560 --> 00:57:52,240
is up, down, up, down.
And I really struggle to
1320
00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:55,920
disconnect my emotions and my
stress with my eating.
1321
00:57:55,920 --> 00:57:58,600
So I just wondered if you have
any like general tips there of
1322
00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:00,600
you know what's going on when
that happens?
1323
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:03,800
I love first of all, I love this
topic.
1324
00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:07,360
Yeah, they say that I could this
could be an hour in itself.
1325
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:10,000
So I'll I'll, I'll try and as
everything.
1326
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:11,080
How about?
You know, if you give us a
1327
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:13,240
general gist, we'll have you
back on at some point and we can
1328
00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:15,600
go into more detail maybe.
OK, yeah, that's, that's a good
1329
00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:17,560
idea because I, I genuinely love
this topic.
1330
00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:21,520
I think with emotional eating,
and I like that you said an
1331
00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:25,200
emotionally, not an emotional
eating, because I, I think being
1332
00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:27,480
led by your emotions is, is the
crux of it.
1333
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:30,160
I think that's, that kind of
gives you exactly where to, to
1334
00:58:30,160 --> 00:58:32,640
get in to, you know, to the real
nitty gritty is to look at the
1335
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:34,720
emotion.
But again, that's a deeper layer
1336
00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:37,600
for a lot of people.
The thing with emotional eating
1337
00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:39,760
is to realise that you're doing
it for a reason.
1338
00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:43,440
You wouldn't do it if it didn't
help, right?
1339
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:45,560
It, it, it's a, it's a coping
strategy.
1340
00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:48,760
And that's fine.
And if, let's say you've got 10
1341
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:51,120
different strategies to manage,
we're just going to focus on
1342
00:58:51,120 --> 00:58:53,400
stress here.
But it could be anger, it could
1343
00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:56,240
be loneliness, it could be
boredom, it could be tiredness,
1344
00:58:56,240 --> 00:59:00,280
it could be anxiety, whatever.
But let's just say it's stress.
1345
00:59:00,400 --> 00:59:02,760
If you've got 10 different
coping strategies to manage your
1346
00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:07,480
stress, right, and eating is one
of them, then that is actually
1347
00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:08,960
probably not a problem for you
in your life.
1348
00:59:08,960 --> 00:59:11,320
And your relationship with food
is probably not at a point where
1349
00:59:11,320 --> 00:59:13,880
it really needs much work
because you've got these
1350
00:59:13,880 --> 00:59:16,600
different strategies.
The real problem I see is that
1351
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:20,480
when whether it is because we
don't nurture our identity
1352
00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:22,880
outside the classroom, whether
it's because we do, our life
1353
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:25,760
does shrink to to be just work,
which it can easily do.
1354
00:59:25,960 --> 00:59:29,600
It's like work, adult life
admin, like the shopping and
1355
00:59:29,600 --> 00:59:31,560
then looking after family.
And that's what a lot of
1356
00:59:31,560 --> 00:59:33,120
teachers life's comprised of at
the moment.
1357
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:37,400
For whatever reason, when your
coping strategies shrink down to
1358
00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:40,360
the fact that to the point where
you just have one and that
1359
00:59:40,480 --> 00:59:43,600
eating is, is the thing that you
do to feel better, that's when
1360
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:47,080
it becomes a problem.
So the emotional eating
1361
00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:50,240
inheritance isn't just, it's
not, you know, we can't just say
1362
00:59:50,240 --> 00:59:52,840
all emotional eating is a
problem because you go get a
1363
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:54,400
promotion, you go out for a meal
to celebrate.
1364
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:57,800
That's emotional eating, but
it's a different emotion and da,
1365
00:59:57,800 --> 00:59:59,760
da, da.
So that's, that's important to
1366
00:59:59,760 --> 01:00:01,240
say.
So a really simple thing is,
1367
01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:03,440
rather than looking at what we
can take away from your life,
1368
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:06,280
what positive coping strategies
could we add in?
1369
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:10,040
Which is where movement and
exercise because it increases
1370
01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:13,160
endorphins and endocannabinoids,
it increases serotonin and
1371
01:00:13,160 --> 01:00:15,120
dopamine, particularly the
outside.
1372
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:19,080
That's a great coping strategy.
A 10 minute walk is amazing.
1373
01:00:20,120 --> 01:00:23,200
So what can you add into your
coping strategy toolbox rather
1374
01:00:23,200 --> 01:00:25,600
than just focusing on
emotionally is the problem?
1375
01:00:25,680 --> 01:00:27,520
That would be #1 I'd say so
good.
1376
01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:29,480
I really like your positive
approach.
1377
01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:30,800
You've done everything in this
episode.
1378
01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:33,240
It's been really refreshing and
you've really, really made the
1379
01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:34,240
point.
I'm sure it's, you know, it's
1380
01:00:34,240 --> 01:00:36,600
your mantra, but you've very
clearly come across it's about,
1381
01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:39,280
it's not about adding more
negatives or making things like
1382
01:00:39,280 --> 01:00:41,040
a sacrifice.
You're not a bad person.
1383
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:42,440
Yeah.
It's, it's just add more
1384
01:00:42,440 --> 01:00:44,560
positive things into your life.
And I imagine the idea is that
1385
01:00:44,560 --> 01:00:47,360
actually you'll then find
naturally that you'll transition
1386
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:49,200
to a more positive lifestyle as
a result anyway.
1387
01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:51,880
And some of those negative
things, whatever they are, might
1388
01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:53,800
kind of step out.
You don't need to talk about
1389
01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:54,120
them.
Yeah.
1390
01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:56,440
That's really interesting.
I, I will just add, I think
1391
01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:58,840
having listened, I genuinely
want to just tell you now, I
1392
01:00:58,840 --> 01:01:01,240
think you've unlocked like two
or three or four things in me
1393
01:01:01,480 --> 01:01:03,800
that I feel like I can go away
and really action.
1394
01:01:03,800 --> 01:01:05,360
And I'm hoping the listeners
feel that way too.
1395
01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:08,480
And yeah, I just wanted to say
big thank you for everything
1396
01:01:08,480 --> 01:01:10,960
you've gone through so far.
Honestly, what we're going to do
1397
01:01:10,960 --> 01:01:13,360
then before we wrap up, I
really, really want our
1398
01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:15,280
listeners to know where to find
you.
1399
01:01:15,600 --> 01:01:18,800
And if I'm right, you're writing
a book currently about this
1400
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:21,480
whole thing.
Just just maybe a little quick,
1401
01:01:21,680 --> 01:01:22,760
where can we find you?
What?
1402
01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:24,800
What's the plans for the future?
Yeah, cool.
1403
01:01:24,800 --> 01:01:28,120
So Instagram's where I live most
of the time.
1404
01:01:28,840 --> 01:01:31,080
Facebook I'm not a fan of
anymore.
1405
01:01:31,640 --> 01:01:34,120
TikTok, it's too quick for me.
I can't keep up with it.
1406
01:01:34,320 --> 01:01:38,120
So yeah, Instagram's the main
place, but everywhere I live is
1407
01:01:38,120 --> 01:01:40,720
just the teacher's health coach.
It just does what it says on the
1408
01:01:40,720 --> 01:01:42,400
tin.
Didn't put much thought into
1409
01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:45,920
that name, but that's website
Instagram, all that good stuff.
1410
01:01:46,840 --> 01:01:49,760
I did used to write a weekly
newsletter and I used to have a
1411
01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:53,720
weekly podcast, which I'm aiming
to bring back at some point
1412
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:55,160
soon.
I've just started to record bits
1413
01:01:55,160 --> 01:01:58,760
and things.
And the reason that I've got on
1414
01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:00,320
the back burner is because of
like, say that book.
1415
01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:01,680
So Healthy Habits for Teacher
Life.
1416
01:02:01,960 --> 01:02:05,320
So Sage Publications have this
series called Little Guides for
1417
01:02:05,320 --> 01:02:07,640
Teachers.
Yeah, I'm about to say Guides
1418
01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:09,960
for little teachers.
It's not little guide, Little
1419
01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:11,400
guides for teachers.
Need that as well.
1420
01:02:12,040 --> 01:02:14,920
Though there's a whole series of
them, so it's a small, short
1421
01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:17,760
thing.
It's about this big, only 15,000
1422
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:19,600
words, but it's a really
practical guide.
1423
01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:22,000
And, and the brief they gave me
was that we want something that
1424
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:25,320
is focused on habits.
So there's a little bit about
1425
01:02:25,320 --> 01:02:28,440
kind of like the, the neurology
and, and, and the mindset and
1426
01:02:28,440 --> 01:02:30,560
stuff like that.
But it's very much pick this up.
1427
01:02:31,040 --> 01:02:33,120
Here's a pick a quick task you
can take.
1428
01:02:33,240 --> 01:02:34,680
Here's a space to write about
it.
1429
01:02:34,760 --> 01:02:36,240
Here's a reflection.
Go and do it.
1430
01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:38,280
So it's it's like a super
practical book.
1431
01:02:39,520 --> 01:02:41,240
So that's, that's coming out in
February.
1432
01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:43,760
They're in two weeks time.
They're supposed to send me the
1433
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:45,320
final proof, which is quite
exciting.
1434
01:02:45,960 --> 01:02:47,240
So yeah, that's all coming to
head.
1435
01:02:47,240 --> 01:02:49,200
So that's, that's the feature.
The thing that I'm really
1436
01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:51,760
wanting to work on next year is
getting out into more schools.
1437
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:54,640
Yeah, it's been five years now.
I've been building what we're
1438
01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:57,200
doing and it's at the point
where I want to get out in
1439
01:02:57,200 --> 01:02:59,200
personal.
And also I'm going a bit crazy
1440
01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:00,640
looking at this corner of my
spare room.
1441
01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:02,920
Staring at the wall.
Yeah, I think.
1442
01:03:02,920 --> 01:03:05,200
It'll make a big difference.
Yeah, having having listened to
1443
01:03:05,200 --> 01:03:06,280
this conversation, I'll tell you
now.
1444
01:03:06,280 --> 01:03:09,720
I'll be buying that book because
it you know exactly what you
1445
01:03:09,720 --> 01:03:11,880
said here.
It's that process of let's
1446
01:03:11,880 --> 01:03:15,040
identify a problem, let's not
shame the person, let's find out
1447
01:03:15,040 --> 01:03:18,320
how we can fix the problem and
also understand why it happens.
1448
01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:21,640
And it's not down to you being a
silly teacher who's just not
1449
01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:23,960
looking after themselves.
No, no, it happens because of
1450
01:03:23,960 --> 01:03:26,320
XYZ.
Let's try and fix it by trying
1451
01:03:26,320 --> 01:03:28,960
these three things.
I'm really grateful, Charlie.
1452
01:03:28,960 --> 01:03:30,280
I want to say thank you again
for your time.
1453
01:03:31,120 --> 01:03:32,320
Thank you.
Thank you both for having me.
1454
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:37,880
OK, Hayden, I don't know about
you, but I really enjoyed that
1455
01:03:37,880 --> 01:03:39,240
chat.
There are moments where Charlie
1456
01:03:39,280 --> 01:03:41,200
was talking and I was just, I
was engrossed.
1457
01:03:41,200 --> 01:03:42,360
I felt like I was listening to a
podcast.
1458
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:43,720
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I forgot we were actually part
1459
01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:45,240
of the podcast.
It was one of the things where I
1460
01:03:45,240 --> 01:03:47,120
saw the time going up and I was
thinking, do you know what can
1461
01:03:47,120 --> 01:03:48,800
we make our podcast like a 2
hour kind of thing?
1462
01:03:48,800 --> 01:03:51,000
Because I really just, I have so
many more things I want to talk
1463
01:03:51,000 --> 01:03:51,960
about.
We'll have to get them back in
1464
01:03:51,960 --> 01:03:53,040
the future.
Absolutely brilliant.
1465
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:56,280
So one thing then each that we
took away from it.
1466
01:03:56,360 --> 01:03:58,160
Let's reflect and then we'll
finish up for the week.
1467
01:03:58,160 --> 01:04:00,280
What's the one thing you're
going to take away from that?
1468
01:04:00,280 --> 01:04:01,760
So I'm going to be really raw
here.
1469
01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:04,080
The thing that's just still in
my mind is the, is the, is the
1470
01:04:04,080 --> 01:04:06,680
whole butterfly effect thing.
I kind of mentioned it, but it's
1471
01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:10,600
really just hit home this whole
idea of you can start with a
1472
01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:12,440
small thing.
I always ignore it.
1473
01:04:12,440 --> 01:04:14,840
I'm like, now what's the point
of starting with a small thing?
1474
01:04:14,840 --> 01:04:16,000
I just want to go straight into
it.
1475
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:18,000
Run that marathon, like you
said, straight away or there's
1476
01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:20,040
no point because it's not going
to actually have an impact on my
1477
01:04:20,040 --> 01:04:21,400
life.
Do you know what it will?
1478
01:04:21,520 --> 01:04:23,880
And it's not that the first
thing will have an impact.
1479
01:04:24,040 --> 01:04:27,560
It's the fact that it won't
change my mindset and make me do
1480
01:04:27,560 --> 01:04:28,800
the next level.
So do you know what?
1481
01:04:28,800 --> 01:04:30,640
I'm going to try it.
I'm going to try and do a little
1482
01:04:30,640 --> 01:04:34,400
walk and then by doing that, the
next time I'll I'll do it again
1483
01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:35,400
because it'll feel good
obviously.
1484
01:04:35,400 --> 01:04:37,280
And I'm hoping then the next
time I'll maybe do a bit of a
1485
01:04:37,280 --> 01:04:38,920
run with it and maybe I'll go a
bit further.
1486
01:04:39,040 --> 01:04:40,680
Maybe I'll do it more than one
time a week.
1487
01:04:40,720 --> 01:04:43,280
I don't know something, but I'm
feeling really inspired to
1488
01:04:43,280 --> 01:04:44,920
actually go out and do
something.
1489
01:04:45,040 --> 01:04:46,000
That's my thing.
What about you?
1490
01:04:46,560 --> 01:04:50,600
My big thing was to not be so
black and white with good and
1491
01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:53,000
bad things in your life.
So for example, we talked about
1492
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:56,320
stress and never really before
have I heard someone just say to
1493
01:04:56,320 --> 01:04:59,240
me point blank, no, humans are
meant to feel stress always with
1494
01:04:59,240 --> 01:05:00,400
stress.
It's like, are you feeling
1495
01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:01,880
stressed?
Try these seven things, like
1496
01:05:01,880 --> 01:05:04,840
just get rid of it completely.
And I really liked the idea
1497
01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:06,720
especially as well with the
emotion that eating.
1498
01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:10,120
He said, yeah, if you were doing
emotion that eating and it was
1499
01:05:10,120 --> 01:05:13,360
one of ten ways to cope with
your emotions, it would probably
1500
01:05:13,360 --> 01:05:15,000
be healthy and fine.
Of course, you can have a bit of
1501
01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:17,000
chocolate every now and then.
If that's the only hook you
1502
01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:19,000
have, you're going to eat
awfully every day.
1503
01:05:19,280 --> 01:05:22,960
And, and, and this idea of don't
try and eradicate things.
1504
01:05:23,200 --> 01:05:26,440
Look at why they exist in your
life, look at the reasons behind
1505
01:05:26,440 --> 01:05:29,520
them being there and see how you
can try and action it and reduce
1506
01:05:29,520 --> 01:05:30,520
it.
It's kind of similar to what
1507
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:32,400
you're saying the other way.
Don't just try and squash it and
1508
01:05:32,400 --> 01:05:33,880
get rid of it.
Yeah, I've done it before.
1509
01:05:33,880 --> 01:05:35,880
I just get rid of sugar and I
lose a bunch of weight and I
1510
01:05:35,880 --> 01:05:38,040
feel great, but it doesn't
actually solve the problem
1511
01:05:38,040 --> 01:05:40,120
because I will always end up
back at that problem.
1512
01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:42,160
Exactly.
If you just understand OK
1513
01:05:42,160 --> 01:05:46,400
emotion that eating is fine.
If maybe the next time you feel
1514
01:05:46,640 --> 01:05:48,560
like you want to grab the bar of
chocolate, you go and try and
1515
01:05:48,560 --> 01:05:51,080
force yourself to go for a run
instead or go for a walk or you
1516
01:05:51,080 --> 01:05:53,240
do some meditation.
Same thing for stress.
1517
01:05:53,440 --> 01:05:54,960
Feeling stress is a human
reaction.
1518
01:05:54,960 --> 01:05:57,120
It's how we react to things.
It's normal.
1519
01:05:57,440 --> 01:06:00,280
If you're feeling chronic
stress, cool, how can I break
1520
01:06:00,280 --> 01:06:01,920
that cycle?
He talked about stress and
1521
01:06:01,920 --> 01:06:04,960
relaxation and just recharging.
You've not got that second part
1522
01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:06,360
that's going to turn into
chronic stress.
1523
01:06:06,360 --> 01:06:08,920
That's when it's a problem.
Stress isn't the problem.
1524
01:06:09,160 --> 01:06:11,200
Emotion LED eating isn't the
problem.
1525
01:06:11,400 --> 01:06:13,640
The problem is everything around
it and how you can try and
1526
01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:15,560
minimise that and and and that
idea of.
1527
01:06:15,680 --> 01:06:18,560
I think what we can both
summarise here is small steps
1528
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:19,840
will make a difference.
Yeah, big time.
1529
01:06:19,840 --> 01:06:21,600
I like that.
To me, it's kind of somebody see
1530
01:06:21,600 --> 01:06:23,200
the analogy, right?
But it's that positive
1531
01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:25,760
reinforcement, right, Rather
than focusing on the negative
1532
01:06:25,760 --> 01:06:26,920
and take.
It's not about getting rid of
1533
01:06:26,920 --> 01:06:29,120
the negative, like you just
said, because for me, right, I
1534
01:06:29,120 --> 01:06:30,840
imagine I see my timetable of
the week on.
1535
01:06:30,840 --> 01:06:33,400
It's my stress timetable.
OK, Monday to Friday, maybe
1536
01:06:33,400 --> 01:06:35,160
Monday to Sunday.
What's the only thing I've got
1537
01:06:35,160 --> 01:06:36,600
blocked in there?
Eating bad food.
1538
01:06:36,960 --> 01:06:38,400
That's the only way I deal with
stress.
1539
01:06:38,680 --> 01:06:40,080
And it's not about don't get rid
of that.
1540
01:06:40,080 --> 01:06:41,960
Do you know what?
Do something else because by
1541
01:06:41,960 --> 01:06:44,320
doing something else, by
default, it takes up some of
1542
01:06:44,320 --> 01:06:46,400
that schedule.
And then I like the idea is, you
1543
01:06:46,400 --> 01:06:48,320
know, when you've got nine other
things, do you know what by
1544
01:06:48,320 --> 01:06:50,600
default?
What if it's only one of ten
1545
01:06:50,600 --> 01:06:52,240
ways to deal with stress eating
that food?
1546
01:06:52,240 --> 01:06:53,680
It can't take up your whole
schedule then, can it?
1547
01:06:53,680 --> 01:06:55,360
It's just because you've got
other things in that schedule
1548
01:06:55,360 --> 01:06:56,880
now.
So I just, I just love that
1549
01:06:56,880 --> 01:06:57,920
mindset.
I'm really, really, really
1550
01:06:57,920 --> 01:06:59,000
going.
To try and I'm feeling pumped.
1551
01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:02,280
I'm feeling, you know how you
should feel when you feel like
1552
01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:03,160
you're going to make a.
Difference.
1553
01:07:03,160 --> 01:07:04,280
Wait, I'll be about to go for a
run.
1554
01:07:06,160 --> 01:07:09,040
McDonald's.
No, we're going for a run.
1555
01:07:09,040 --> 01:07:11,280
Let's do it.
Guys, thank you so much for this
1556
01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:12,400
thing.
I hope you got as much out of
1557
01:07:12,400 --> 01:07:15,160
that as we did, and we'll see
you again next time for another
1558
01:07:15,160 --> 01:07:15,800
episode.
See you.
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,080
Hello everyone, Dylan here.
Quick message before we start
2
00:00:02,080 --> 00:00:04,160
this week's podcast.
Hayden, we don't have a sponsor,
3
00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:04,680
do we?
Nope.
4
00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:07,440
So our sponsor this week is just
going to be us talking to you
5
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:10,000
guys and asking you to just do
three things for us.
6
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,600
We've seen a big boom in numbers
lately.
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We love reaching as many people
as possible and this will really
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help us.
So number one, please leave us a
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review on whatever platform
you're listening on, whether
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it's Spotify, Apple Podcast,
Amazon Music, whatever it might
11
00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:25,320
be.
Leaving a review really helps 2
12
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followers on whatever platform
you're listening on.
13
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It could be Spotify, it could be
Apple Podcast, it might be
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00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:32,040
because of music, but if you
follow us, you will get a
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notification straight away every
Monday morning when a new
16
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episode's released.
So you can just click it and
17
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listen and play.
And the last thing, probably the
18
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,600
most important thing, the thing
that we would love to see more
19
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,720
than anything is sharing the
podcast out amongst people you
20
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:46,240
think might get something from
it.
21
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,760
If you do those three things, we
can't tell you how much it would
22
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:51,720
really, really help us.
So thanks for listening and
23
00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:56,560
let's jump into today's episode.
Hello everyone, and welcome back
24
00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:58,120
to another episode of Teach
Sleep Repeat.
25
00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:00,320
My name is Dylan.
And my name is Hayden.
26
00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,640
And at this point, normally in
the podcast, we would sit here
27
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,000
and we'd go, ha, ha, let's have
a little joke and a catch up
28
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,080
about our week.
I'm a teacher, you're a teacher.
29
00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:09,880
Lots goes on in school.
However, we're going to skip all
30
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:11,440
that this week, right?
Yeah, a bit different this time,
31
00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:12,440
isn't it?
Well, we've just, we've just
32
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:13,920
come off.
We've just had an interview with
33
00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:16,160
Charlie, the teacher's health
coach, and you know what?
34
00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:17,600
We're breaking our script here.
We're going off.
35
00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:19,960
We're going off script.
It was so amazing and it was
36
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:21,880
quite long and we want to show
you the whole thing.
37
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,400
We don't edit it.
We don't want to cut bits out.
38
00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:24,600
So we're just kind of rushing
for.
39
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,480
This is that because it was
really because you can't afford
40
00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:28,080
to edit.
A bit of both, to be honest with
41
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:29,280
you.
No, it was really, really good,
42
00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:32,000
genuinely insightful.
And I implore you to listen to
43
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,760
throughout through the whole
episode because he gives so many
44
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:37,240
tips, so many actionable things
you can actually do to help your
45
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:40,120
well-being, help your workload,
reduce stress, all these amazing
46
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:41,560
things.
So yeah, we just want to jump
47
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:42,560
straight into the episode,
really.
48
00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:43,840
Yeah.
I mean, we could talk about it
49
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:45,760
right now or we could just press
play on that interview.
50
00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:50,760
How about I just cut right here?
Hello Charlie, thanks for
51
00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:54,200
joining us the Teachers Health
coach on Instagram.
52
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,480
If anyone wants to go and have a
look, we'll link you down below.
53
00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:59,360
How you doing mate?
Yeah, not too bad, not too bad.
54
00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,320
Being honest, feeling that end
of term tiredness, which I know
55
00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:05,280
I'm not allowed to say, really
not being in school, but feeling
56
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:07,520
the waves.
I blame my other half.
57
00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:10,520
She brings back all the germs,
she'd bring back the tiredness
58
00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,160
with her.
But yeah, feel a little bit like
59
00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:13,160
that.
But no feeling good.
60
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:14,520
Feeling good.
Amazing.
61
00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:16,480
It's true.
It's true what they say about
62
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,800
like teachers getting with other
teachers as their partner.
63
00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:22,000
I mean, my, my partner's a
teacher.
64
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,880
I'm a teacher.
My partner, I'm a teacher.
65
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,160
You're a teacher.
And Charlie, you obviously
66
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:29,920
started off teaching and I just
wanted you to let our listeners
67
00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:33,240
know.
So you were a teacher, a lot of
68
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,680
a lot of our listeners will be
hearing this thinking, oh gosh,
69
00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:38,440
I don't know if I can do this
much longer and we'll get into
70
00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:41,080
all of the well-being and the
workload and the health kicks.
71
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:44,280
But just want to just an insight
into your story so far, really,
72
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:47,200
because you've built up an
online presence where you're
73
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,000
you're really encouraging
amazing messages for teachers
74
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,080
and their health and their
well-being.
75
00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,040
What what is your story?
How long did you teach for?
76
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:57,240
What made you take the plunge to
kind of move out of that and and
77
00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:01,120
go into this direction?
Yeah, OK, I don't want to send
78
00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:04,840
anyone to sleep, so I'll try and
keep it relatively concise.
79
00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:08,880
So basically I taught for eight
years in in total and that most
80
00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:11,800
of that was upper key stage 2.
So a lot of year 5-6.
81
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:16,160
And about five years into my
career, I, it sounds a bit
82
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:17,880
dramatic, but I basically had a
mental breakdown.
83
00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:20,360
It's sort of, yeah, burnout is
the word that we all kind of
84
00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,760
refer to, right?
Which as a, you know, it's like
85
00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:26,360
26 year old lad.
It's not what you expect to
86
00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:28,560
happen.
And like I said, I'd literally
87
00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,760
been teaching I think five years
by this point.
88
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:34,480
And it all it was years in the
making.
89
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:38,160
It was a build up of habits.
It was a build up of insecurity.
90
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:41,320
It was a build up of over
delivering, overworking, all the
91
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:43,320
stuff that we'll probably touch
on in today's episode.
92
00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:47,960
And it kind of got to end of
middle of year five really.
93
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:51,840
And it was a really tough year
for me, generally speaking, like
94
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:55,600
personally.
So my partner for five years,
95
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:58,280
she'd moved to Africa the year
before and she you just signed a
96
00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,480
contract to a second year
without telling me.
97
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,480
So that relationship was was
kaput.
98
00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:06,520
So that that was five years in
my life that had come to an end.
99
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,880
It was my first year teaching at
6:00.
100
00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:13,560
So I love joys, lots of things
to talk about there.
101
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:18,079
And also my, my LSA Sally, she
was diagnosed with cancer after
102
00:04:18,079 --> 00:04:21,120
a few months of the academic
year, I think October, November
103
00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:24,120
time, give or take.
And we literally work together
104
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:25,400
since this up that academic
year.
105
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,520
But you know, when you just meet
someone, particularly in
106
00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:30,960
professional capacity, you just
gel and you glue and they get
107
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:32,640
you and you don't have to say
things.
108
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,920
You're all, you know what it's
like.
109
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:37,400
She was that for me.
And she was also kind of like
110
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:38,760
the school Nan.
Yeah.
111
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,520
And I haven't got any
grandparents still alive.
112
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,480
So she kind of became my nan
within a few months.
113
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,240
Yeah.
And she, she was, she was a bit
114
00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:50,680
of a character, smoke and and
smoke like a trooper, loved in
115
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:53,920
loved the Caravan Club.
Like she was a proper, like, I
116
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,280
can imagine this person, this
pretty proper character.
117
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,880
Yeah.
And and she, she was diagnosed
118
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:01,040
with cancer and she suddenly
passed away.
119
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:03,640
I think it was early June the
next academic year.
120
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:05,600
Yeah.
So she was obviously off for a
121
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,600
very long time.
And we'd keep in contact and she
122
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:10,440
sent me pictures like she got a
new haircut short, she sent me
123
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:12,680
pictures and stuff.
And you know, it was, it was
124
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,000
really hard because she was
clearly deteriorating from the
125
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,920
ear and everything.
And then obviously year six and,
126
00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:20,920
and sats and that pressure and
basically all this kind of came
127
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,000
to a head.
And, and I said this on a
128
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,560
podcast recently, actually, the
thing that gets me is that none
129
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:29,200
of it was, was front of my mind.
All of that stuff was happening.
130
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:31,480
And I don't know whether it was
because there was a lot of
131
00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:35,520
stigma in my, my mind around
mental health or whether I was
132
00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,960
very ignorant to mental health
and things because to be fair,
133
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,520
at that time, mental health was
someone depressed, laid up in
134
00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:42,080
bed.
Like that was my picture of
135
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,360
mental health.
I was very ignorant, but I
136
00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:45,720
didn't realise any of this stuff
was going on.
137
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,640
It was all bubbling had had no,
no sort of thought about it.
138
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:52,200
Anyway, about a week before the
SAT, so great timing.
139
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,760
I was, I can literally picture
now.
140
00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:59,520
I was stood in the middle of my
classroom and it was just after
141
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,160
break time and the kids were
coming in there a little bit
142
00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:03,880
late and something had happened
at break time.
143
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,440
And there was a boy in my class
who had been on a reduced
144
00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,080
timetable and he was just coming
back in into school.
145
00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:12,160
But we built up a great
relationship and he had his, he
146
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:15,080
had great days and he had days
where he wasn't quite himself.
147
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,240
And he really struggled with
emotional regulation.
148
00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,760
And his home life blessing was
very turbulent.
149
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,560
And you know, it's often as
children you build the best,
150
00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:26,240
yeah, the strongest bonds with.
And he came in essentially
151
00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:29,080
something had happened at at
break time, something in
152
00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:33,040
football, and he came in very,
very dysregulated and pens went
153
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:35,160
flying and books went flying and
chairs went flying.
154
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:39,120
And again, I taught him for
nearly a year by this point.
155
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:40,640
And I've been at that school for
five years.
156
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,280
And I dealt with that in almost
every class I'd had at that
157
00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:48,560
school, bar a couple.
And it wasn't a new situation at
158
00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:51,200
all, but something in that
moment, it almost just kind of
159
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,920
snapped.
It was like the elastic band had
160
00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:55,400
been stretched too far.
And I basically had, it was only
161
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,080
the second one I've ever had in
my life.
162
00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:59,280
I didn't didn't realise the
first one was one until
163
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,560
afterwards.
But I had this massive panic
164
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:05,440
attack, like horrendous.
And if people haven't had a
165
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:09,120
panic attack, all I can say is
that I was convinced I was
166
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:14,240
dying. 100% convinced that's the
only way I can put it into into
167
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:16,080
words.
It felt like a fridge of being
168
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:18,880
tipped over on my chest.
I was dripping with sweat.
169
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:24,400
My heart was pounding so hard
but so fast and painful and I
170
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,880
was just, I was shaking.
I couldn't speak.
171
00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:29,120
And the only thought that came
into my mind was that I don't
172
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,960
want to scare the kids because I
was convinced I was having a
173
00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:34,400
heart attack.
And I was like, this is it OK?
174
00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,680
Well, I don't want to scare you.
So I took myself out of the
175
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:40,920
classroom, sort of signalled to
my year leader and we had four
176
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:42,280
rooms down a really long
corridor.
177
00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:43,640
So 2 rooms were opposite each
other.
178
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:45,840
And I kind of said that I don't
feel well.
179
00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:51,440
And I took myself off And after
a few minutes, or probably was a
180
00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:54,560
little bit longer than that
really, I started to kind of
181
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:56,840
sort of calm myself down a
little bit.
182
00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,640
And I was kind of thinking,
well, is this a, is it a virus
183
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:02,640
like it something's wrong.
I'm physically unwell basically.
184
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,320
And I went to see the assistant
head and she kind of spoke me,
185
00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,680
talked me around and, and things
and sent me home.
186
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:12,240
Anyway, cut a Long story short,
I called 111 and just to check
187
00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:15,600
because I didn't want to call
999, called 111 and they
188
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:18,160
basically refused to not send a
paramedic.
189
00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:20,760
They said we're going to send a
paramedic and I literally begged
190
00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:23,160
them not to because I was at my
parents' house.
191
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,000
Felt really really silly and
embarrassed about the whole
192
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,760
thing and they sent the
paramedic round.
193
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,280
So I was there in my parents'
house on the sofa covered with
194
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:33,440
all the dots and spots, getting
an ECG and stuff and they said
195
00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,640
that I need to go to hospital.
So I went to the hospital, a day
196
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:40,080
in there, more EC GS, blood
tests, consultations, all that
197
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,320
fun stuff.
And obviously by this point,
198
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:45,280
I'm, I'm pretty scared about
I'll like, I'm kind of thinking
199
00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:46,760
there's something quite badly
wrong.
200
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:49,360
But again, just think, thinking
down the physical room.
201
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,360
And then at the end of the day,
I had a consultation with the
202
00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:55,720
doctor and I was chatting to him
and he, he asked me what I did
203
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:58,240
for a job.
And I was, I'm quite proud of
204
00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,240
you to do, you know, I'm a
teacher, big part of my
205
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,600
identity.
And, and he asked me if I, if I
206
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,600
was stressed and I literally
laughed at his face and I was
207
00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,800
like, what do you mean?
You don't know I'm stressed.
208
00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,240
It's just me.
Yeah, Like what?
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And yeah, he wasn't at all
pleased.
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He literally just kind of looked
at me down the barrel and kind
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of literally eye, direct eye
contact and said you need to do
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something about this.
Like, you're 26, I'm diagnosing
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you now with chronic stress and
anxiety.
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That was a panic attack.
You need to do something about
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it.
It's either take medication,
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which I know is a tool for some,
which is I think a great tool
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for many people.
But he said your choices are
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medication and lifestyle change
or a very, very quick lifestyle
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change.
And that, that was it.
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That was kind of the, the
turning point for me.
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But I then stayed in teaching
for three years after that as
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well.
And then we had the joys of
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COVID and all and all that other
stuff.
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But during the next six months,
I, I basically went on, sounds
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very dramatic, but a bit of like
a self discovery journey and
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more towards the kind of health
side of things and kind of
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thinking about how, you know,
And then during that time I met
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my partner as well, my, my, my
fiance and kind of think, well,
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what do I want my life to be
like?
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Like, how can I live like this
and have a family?
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And how can, how can I live like
this and get married and what's
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the future going to look like?
So I really made a lot of
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changes with how I was working,
how I was thinking about work.
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There was counselling, there was
therapy, there was coaching.
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There was a whole sort of
process during this time.
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And that sparked my own interest
just in this whole topic.
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And then, yeah, got me to
retrain as a nutritionist, then
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retrain as a mental health and
exercise coach.
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But I know I said I didn't want
to send anyone to sleep, but
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there's probably a few, a few
people not enough already.
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No, no, I just want to say I
mean, like, I think that's
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honestly like an inspirational
story.
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Genuinely, I'm not I'm not
exaggerating at all.
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And so many people will be
listening to that, including me,
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honestly and thinking, Oh my, I
see myself in what you've just
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said.
And so it's it's so sad that
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it's the norm in this job,
almost what you said.
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And although I know not everyone
will have a panic attack and go
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down that route you said, but my
goodness me, there are people
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who will feel stressed and have
chronic stress and it might
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present in different ways.
And it and the fact it's normal
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for people and hit listening to
your story, I just think that is
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it's insane, isn't it?
Is it, is it your, I mean, this
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might be an obvious question,
but is it your experience that
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you've just come through there
that inspired you to do what you
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do now and try to stop teachers
getting to that point, which I
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get, you know, like you said, we
call burnout whatever you want
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to call it.
Yeah, yeah, 100%.
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I just, when you know how
something feels and how dreadful
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something feels, you don't want
your worst enemy to go through
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it.
And I think that's, again, very
262
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cheesy, but that literally is
what gets me out of bed in the
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morning, is knowing that there
are people out there
264
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experiencing that and knowing
how awful that can be.
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It's, it's not cheesy at all.
I was to say that right now.
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I think, I think you're going
to, when people listening to
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this are going to have like the
nail hit on the head by what
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you're saying.
And, and I just want to say
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thank you for sharing that with
us because I didn't know that
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that much detail about it.
And do you know what?
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It makes so much sense now
seeing your social media page,
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because I, I flick through it
and I see the posts and I and I,
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we'll talk about social media
now, maybe because I don't feel
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like there's a lot of genuine,
genuine people out there on
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social media.
I feel like a lot of it is
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showing face trying to say the
right thing because you feel
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like you'll get a reward for
saying the right thing.
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But when I read your stuff and
your posts, and I'd implore
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anyone to go and see the
Instagram that we, we said with
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a link down below, it's, it's
full of really helpful tips that
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I look at.
And I think there'll be people
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who can action that right now.
And, and Hayden, you know, maybe
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you can take over because you
were you were thinking about
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social media in general and it's
just a bit toxic.
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Yeah, it's my thought.
I mean, I saw one of your posts
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is what has inspired it, so I
won't get too much into detail
287
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about that.
But my thoughts are do you have
288
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any tips on on how to navigate
social media?
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00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,320
Because I personally, and I can
just save them, save this from
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00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:53,800
experience.
I get sucked into spending hours
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and hours on social media.
Most of that revolves around
292
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looking at the perfect world,
you know, like Instagram versus
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reality, the classic thing.
And and I saw that you did
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something about how you can, you
know, be in control of that.
295
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,720
Like, what's your advice to
navigating social media?
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00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,720
I mean, first of all, I, I
massively resonate with that and
297
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I, I've struggled with social
media more this year than I ever
298
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:18,400
have before.
And I think it is partly due to
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00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,320
some of the things you really
said, but partly due to the fact
300
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that I, I share the posts and
I'll be honest it, I'll spend a
301
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,920
long time on some posts and I'll
really work on it.
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00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:31,280
And they're the posts that don't
tend to be to resonate as much,
303
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,160
whereas the stuff that I just
write and put out there
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suddenly, you know, seems to
resonate.
305
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,440
But anyway, I, I, I worked on
something for not a very long
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time and put it out there and
it's, it seemed to resonate with
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a lot of people.
And it went like quite unquote
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viral sort of thing.
And, and it was a carousel
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around kind of some of the, the,
the reasons why teachers are,
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00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,760
are actually so tired.
So around decision fatigue and
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00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:57,080
perpetual patients and creative
fatigue and all, you know,
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00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:59,400
absorbing others emotions and
all these other reasons that
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isn't just getting up early and
going, you know, staying late
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00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:04,920
and stuff.
And, and I put out and then
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suddenly my, that that
particular platform seemed to
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00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:11,680
grow very quickly overnight.
But ever since then, I've really
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00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:14,760
struggled with social media.
And I think there's a, there's,
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00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:17,360
there's a lot of pressure that
can like if you're a creator, as
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00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,800
they could call you and they put
in that you put in out stuff.
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00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,600
There's a lot of pressure, as
you say, to see the likes and to
321
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,000
see the comments and to get it
quote UN quote right.
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00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,280
And I think that's a lot of
whether you are a creator or
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00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,480
you're just consuming social
media, I think there is a lot of
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00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:32,280
pressure to be right and to get
it right and to not say the
325
00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:33,880
wrong thing and, and everything
else.
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00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,480
So I've really struggled
honestly, the last six months,
327
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:40,120
like I've struggled to, to put
my face on to camera.
328
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:43,880
And I know you, you're amazing
at that, by the way, like watch,
329
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,320
watch all of your stories.
And it's just you just being
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00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,520
yourself, just like just
chatting and.
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00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:50,600
Just that's it, isn't it?
Yeah, I mean, even Dylan said to
332
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,320
me before.
This is hilarious because we had
333
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,520
this conversation honestly when
we were just getting ready what
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00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:55,600
I don't.
Know what you're going to say,
335
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,360
but I was going to say that, you
know, when you started, you were
336
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,120
you'd spend so long trying to
get it perfect 12 takes and try
337
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,400
and do this thing and then when
you when you stop doing that and
338
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:04,360
we're just like, oh, do you know
what?
339
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:06,600
I'm just going to talk as if I'm
talking to me.
340
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:08,080
Then.
Then you just produce loads of
341
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,280
stuff and people start
connecting with it.
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00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:11,240
It's kind of like what you said
about as soon as you were just
343
00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:13,040
like off the Dome.
Just this is how I feel.
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00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:14,960
This is real.
People just connect with it.
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00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,240
It's almost like they can see
through, can't there?
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00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,080
There's well structured things
and they're like, oh, this must
347
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,000
be an advert or this must be
they're trying to get, they're
348
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,080
trying to get something from me.
It's too structured.
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00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,240
That's what I would say,
Charlie, about your, your social
350
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:26,960
media.
I, I consume it right?
351
00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:30,760
And I think I've got three
things I can action now in my
352
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:32,960
job that I can try and do.
And I think that's why I love it
353
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:34,440
so much.
And I would implore anyone to go
354
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:37,080
and flick through it because
that it could be so easy to fall
355
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:40,080
into that trap of like you said,
whether you're consuming or
356
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:43,440
creating.
I as a consumer, go on and I, I
357
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:46,280
can scroll through 10 things and
I won't remember any of them
358
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:49,600
immediately, right?
Whereas with good content, I
359
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,760
can, it like strikes a chord,
like you said.
360
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:55,440
And as a creator, I want to just
touch on what you said there,
361
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,920
because I suppose I've fallen
into that role of creator now in
362
00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:02,360
terms of I'll be in charge of
the Instagram and for for months
363
00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:04,480
and months, Hayden would say to
me, you must be enjoying it.
364
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,000
And I was like, do you know what
I was at first?
365
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,440
I really was.
And I'm not, I'm not disliking
366
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,920
it now, but at first it was like
a passion project.
367
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:13,760
I'd, I'd think of a funny meme
that would try and make people
368
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,920
laugh.
Our podcast is quite laid back
369
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,480
again, trying to make people
laugh, but talk about stuff that
370
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:20,680
we think everyone wants to talk
about and getting this
371
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,480
interactions really cool.
And again, in the last like two
372
00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:26,520
to three months, I don't know if
you get any of this, but the two
373
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:29,720
things have happened #1 what
you've mentioned now I've
374
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:33,040
started to think instead of just
having an idea and putting out
375
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:36,680
there, I've started with needing
an idea without having 1.
376
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,280
And I said, oh, I need to put
something out there.
377
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,240
What, what can I put that that
would resonate with people?
378
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,080
And that's so backwards because
you're forcing it at that point.
379
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,680
And the second thing is, you
know, as, as you grow more and
380
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:51,400
more people comment stuff, which
isn't very nice and, and, and it
381
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,040
does link back to that as a
consumer.
382
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:56,920
And I just think what I wanted
to throw to you was, and it was
383
00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:02,160
an amazing post again, which was
you posted as a fitness kind of,
384
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,319
I guess someone who's into their
health and trying to help
385
00:17:04,319 --> 00:17:06,319
people.
You have those photos of you
386
00:17:06,319 --> 00:17:09,720
looking in unbelievable shape,
like traditionally, wow, as a,
387
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,119
as a PT, this is what you'd want
to post because people will see
388
00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:13,480
that and be like, I want to work
with you.
389
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:17,200
And your, and your post wasn't
that it wasn't look what you can
390
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,880
get.
It was guys, I felt awful here
391
00:17:20,319 --> 00:17:23,200
and and that seemed to strike a,
a chord of people again.
392
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:26,400
And I just want to throw it back
to you in terms of are you
393
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:29,120
seeing that pay off, you know,
not going down the traditional
394
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:32,520
route of hooking people in and,
and just thinking, oh, what's
395
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,480
going to get eyes on the screen?
Do you feel like it's actually
396
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:38,000
paying off though and building a
base that you want on social
397
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,560
media rather than just getting
numbers?
398
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:45,040
I think I think that this year's
been a weird one for it.
399
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:47,600
It's been a bit of a bit of a
journey, let's say.
400
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:51,440
So when when that post did do
very well, I then slipped into,
401
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,800
if I'm being honest, I slipped
into or I need to make reels
402
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,840
that are this many seconds.
I need to have a hook and I need
403
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:58,920
to do it.
And I've never, I'd like to
404
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,840
think maybe I have done.
I'd like to think that I've
405
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:05,160
never done something that's just
like, look and there's no
406
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:07,360
substance to it.
Like I try my best to always put
407
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:09,320
value and put some substance
behind it.
408
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,720
But there was definitely a
period, probably around the
409
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:15,000
summer time where I was leaning
more towards that hasn't got as
410
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,400
many views, that hasn't got any
likes.
411
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,440
And I would be talking to
someone who's doing quite well
412
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:21,240
about, but what are you doing?
And what I'm seeing is a lot of
413
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:24,760
social media content is that
very surface level stuff.
414
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:26,960
Exactly as you said, it's very
much hook people in.
415
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:31,720
And I, I follow loads of like
comedy based stuff because I
416
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,440
love, you know, who doesn't love
a good laugh and you know, just
417
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:36,960
silly things.
One at the moment is this guy
418
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,240
and he turns terrible Tinder
conversations into songs.
419
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:45,320
I say that it remains it's, it's
it's worried for the human race,
420
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,640
but it's, it's, it's the stuff
that he does.
421
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,080
He's amazing.
But stuff like that.
422
00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:52,080
But what I'm seeing is loads and
loads of people using that.
423
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,760
There's that real tick tock
occasion of Instagram of social
424
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:58,000
media where it's like, you know,
trending audios and trending
425
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,680
reels and memes and stuff, which
again, I, I love personally, but
426
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:03,800
I, I saw someone's, I'm not
going to name names because I
427
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:04,880
don't think that's not
appropriate.
428
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,720
But I saw someone's page
recently and in their bio, it
429
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:11,160
was like well-being advocate,
like voice for well-being and
430
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:12,800
all this stuff.
And this person was a teacher
431
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:16,520
and just, their page was just
just constant like those 3
432
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:20,720
second memes and stuff because
they were going for that sort of
433
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,000
connection.
They were trying to grow their
434
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,520
following and stuff.
And I I went through just out of
435
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:26,800
interest and I couldn't find
anything to do as well-being, I
436
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,840
mean, comedy, having a good
laugh, increasing oxytocin and
437
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:33,920
stuff like that.
But you know, still it's yeah, I
438
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,560
think there's that whole side of
Instagram and social media in
439
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:39,280
general that is very much about
those vanity metrics and things.
440
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:42,840
And I think as a creator, or
even if you're just posting
441
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,760
casually amongst friends, you
know, when that, when that
442
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,480
doesn't happen, you then have
that comparison.
443
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,320
I think that's a big part of
social media is where you start
444
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,520
to subconsciously compare
yourself to other people.
445
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:54,560
And I actually found myself
doing this not so long ago.
446
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,280
I put out a post and it just
flopped for whatever reason.
447
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,000
Just didn't do well.
I thought it was good.
448
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:03,160
It didn't seem to be.
And I found myself within half
449
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,800
an hour on someone who does
something similar to me to what
450
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,440
I do's page, comparing my page
to their page.
451
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,200
What's that about like?
Why does that matter?
452
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,120
Beat yourself while you're down.
Do you know what I mean?
453
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,320
And yeah, we have social media
that there's a lot.
454
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,520
There's a lot that I feel quite
strongly about in terms of how
455
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:21,640
it can basically take our time
and attention away.
456
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,760
And there's a book by a guy
called Johan Harry called Stolen
457
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:28,800
Focus and it talks about some
really scary statistics.
458
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:32,200
And you know, there's, there's
CEOs and, and heads of marketing
459
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,360
from places like Meta and
Facebook and things who have now
460
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:37,960
left and who are coming out and
speaking against the algorithm
461
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:39,680
and speaking against the like
buttons.
462
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,320
Like the fact that the like
share and comment button, I'm
463
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,760
going to get this wrong is based
on an experiment by a guy called
464
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,520
BBF Skinner.
And I think it was something to
465
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,560
do with trying to get rats to
press a button.
466
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,520
And they, I think they, they
either gave the rats food or
467
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:57,160
they gave the rats water laced
with drugs or something.
468
00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:00,400
And they've as to get them to
perform the habit to press the
469
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:03,600
button, they basically tricked
them and they conditioned them
470
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:07,040
to bit like the whole, is it
Pavlovs dogs and the salivating?
471
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:08,800
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That kind of stuff.
472
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:12,000
So literally the buttons that we
press every day is based on an
473
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,000
experiment in rats, non
conditioning and behaviour.
474
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:16,840
And we're here all the time
using it.
475
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,200
So I've got a bit of a bee in my
bonnet about social media at the
476
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:23,040
moment, which I know is very,
very ironic because it's how we
477
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,920
build our platforms.
It's how we share our ideas with
478
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,560
people, people.
So I, I fully appreciate the
479
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:31,160
irony, but the fact that it can
increase that comparison, it can
480
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,200
make us feel pretty rubbish
about our own lives.
481
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,600
You're looking at the perfect
classroom, you're looking at
482
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,720
perfect kids and the perfect
house.
483
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:40,680
And they've got a new car and
Jeanette's in Barbados for the
484
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,720
third time this year because her
husband makes 500 KA year.
485
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,440
And, you know, you're comparing
yourself to the people and
486
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,960
that's increasing cortisol,
stress hormone, that's
487
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:51,360
increasing adrenaline, that's
keeping you amped up.
488
00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:53,920
And but then we can look at like
the impact on sleep and all of
489
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,200
these different things.
So, yeah, screen time in general
490
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:59,520
with social media can I think is
a big problem for us teachers at
491
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:00,720
the moment.
And that's also from what my
492
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,960
clients are telling me, how it's
impacting sleep.
493
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,520
So you mentioned earlier about
like what, what can we do about
494
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,480
it?
I think in terms of breaking the
495
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:11,080
cycle and breaking the habit
because it is a habit for a lot
496
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:14,560
of people.
If I sometimes early, how rude
497
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,000
can I be on this podcast?
Quite rude.
498
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:19,040
Yeah, this isn't that bad.
Sometimes in the morning, I
499
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,120
treat myself to a sit down we
because I'm tired.
500
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,720
As soon as I sit down in the
loop, I'm scrolling social
501
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:26,280
media.
Right.
502
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:27,360
That's me every time, by the
way.
503
00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:29,760
That's not just morning,
morning, noon, night.
504
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:30,960
That's just sit there.
Amazing, isn't?
505
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,880
It when you get to about 25 you
just realise it's great.
506
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:36,280
Comfort, Comfort over
everything.
507
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,920
And, and, and yeah, I find
myself and, and then like even
508
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:43,280
at the gym, like between sets,
I'll, I'll find myself picking
509
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:44,440
up my phone and like, what am I
doing?
510
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:47,280
What's this about?
So I think in terms of tips
511
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:50,520
breaking that cycle, we know
about neuroplasticity as
512
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:53,280
teachers, we know about rewiring
the brain and repetition and,
513
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:56,000
and changing those habits.
So what we can think about is
514
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,320
literally keeping it out of
arm's reach.
515
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:00,320
That's the most simple thing
that you can do.
516
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,480
So if you're watching TV, get,
get rid of it, get it out, get
517
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:06,800
it out the out the room.
If you're charging your phone
518
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:10,440
next to your bed, don't say that
it's your alarm because yet mine
519
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:11,960
is too.
But go and get yourself.
520
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,120
If you're really struggling, get
yourself an alarm clock and
521
00:23:14,120 --> 00:23:15,760
charge your phone outside the
room.
522
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:19,520
Or at the very least charge your
phone across the room so that if
523
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,200
you want to scroll, you've got
to get out of bed to get it
524
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:22,320
because you're not going to do
that.
525
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,240
So we need to think about our
environment and literally
526
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:27,800
cutting the queue's there, the
phone's going to be there.
527
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:30,040
So we can either get rid of the
queue, get rid of the phone, or
528
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:31,840
we can make it really difficult
to pick it up.
529
00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:34,600
And other things you can do is,
you know, there's lots of apps
530
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:37,320
now to help you block certain,
certain apps.
531
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,960
There's even devices where you
can lock your phone away.
532
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:41,880
You haven't seen it on it like
boxes.
533
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,240
And you just have a Yeah, yeah,
there's all.
534
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,440
These sorts of things, I saw one
the other day where it's like a
535
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:50,000
block you put in your fridge and
you scan the block and then it
536
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,600
blocks your phone.
And then you can use it for
537
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,240
emergency stuff, but you can't
go on social media.
538
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,520
And if you want to then access
it, I think you have to go back
539
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,200
to the block that's on your
fridge.
540
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,240
It's just magnetic.
So people put it in the.
541
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,680
Fridge, so it's just like adding
steps basically between the ease
542
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,680
of just like my phone right now
is here, like I can just pick it
543
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:07,760
up because it's right next to
me.
544
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:12,160
But just putting like 123 layers
between that, you suddenly will
545
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,440
realise you're not bothered
about scrolling through social
546
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,720
media anymore because you're
just doing it as a habit in the
547
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:17,960
same way you might do a
different habit.
548
00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:20,520
Yeah, 100%.
And I think we also need to
549
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,640
appreciate how impactful it is
just on your kind of your, your
550
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,720
neurochemistry.
So when we scroll social media,
551
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:30,160
yes, it gives us that adrenaline
and that cortisol, but Corsol's
552
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:33,240
cousin, if you like to call it a
cousin, it is dopamine.
553
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,040
And also scrolling and consuming
social media will increase your
554
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,200
dopamine.
Dopamine being that reward, that
555
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,040
motivated, that drive a
chemical.
556
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:43,840
It is really, really rewarding.
You don't sit there and go, I
557
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:47,240
feel great as if you'd gone and
cleaned the kitchen or gone and
558
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,480
done a workout or gone and done
the food shopping.
559
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:51,960
After those jobs, you're a bit
like, ah, I feel achieved.
560
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:55,200
I feel accomplished, sorry.
Whereas with social media, it's
561
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:58,040
almost like this drip feeding
open through the.
562
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:01,200
Brain So it's a big effort to go
and clean the kitchen or go for
563
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,560
a run or go and do a workout and
then but the reward's good.
564
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:06,320
But then what's easier is just
get your little drip from a
565
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,080
scroll of the thumb.
Because you know what, and I'm
566
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:10,800
going to bring back round to a
point you mentioned quite a
567
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,520
while ago, because I do want to
come back to it is it's
568
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:16,840
willpower and I'm exhausted all
the time.
569
00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:19,880
So for me, it's like I just
don't have the, you know what?
570
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,680
Maybe I could just put my phone
away.
571
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:23,640
Like the other day I was
watching something on TV and I
572
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:24,800
noticed that I kept out of
habit.
573
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:28,240
Honestly, it sounds pathetic.
Every 30 seconds I picked up, I
574
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:31,400
picked up my phone to just look
at it and I was like, what are
575
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:32,640
you doing?
What am I expecting to see?
576
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,680
Like, oh, I'll open Instagram
then because I deleted TikTok
577
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:36,280
because I was like, yeah, delete
TikTok.
578
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:38,360
I'm on Instagram just as much as
I was on TikTok.
579
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:40,480
So it's all, it's all really
like, I think I look at it, I'm
580
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:41,680
like, oh, I'm pathetic.
What's wrong with me?
581
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:45,560
But then also I'm, I'm totally,
totally, totally exhausted and I
582
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,360
don't have the willpower to get
up and go and be in the kitchen
583
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:50,360
or just go for a run and try and
be like, come on, I'm going to
584
00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:52,920
retrain my brain.
So you mentioned earlier about
585
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:57,080
teacher exhaustion and you said
you did a post about like some
586
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,600
tips on or some reasons that I
think it was literally just like
587
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:00,560
why you're so exhausted.
Yeah.
588
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,600
I just want to know now because
I am literally that person.
589
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:05,520
I'm constantly exhausted turn 2,
Todd.
590
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,000
But anyway, I'm always
exhausted.
591
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:08,840
Like why?
What's wrong with me?
592
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,760
Why am I so exhausted all the
time?
593
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:13,520
Yeah.
I think what there are, there
594
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,760
are there are lots of different
reasons we could probably list
595
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:18,520
50, right?
But some of the ones that
596
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:20,640
surprise people are some of the
things like that.
597
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,440
First of all, there's that
decision fatigue.
598
00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:27,360
So if you, if you think of,
again, this isn't particularly
599
00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:30,640
scientific, but if you think of
the brain, if you're thinking of
600
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:33,880
your neurons, sorry.
So your brain cells as little
601
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,040
people.
Again, this would be the least
602
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:38,600
scientific explanation.
We're primary school teachers.
603
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,800
This is what we do, OK?
Little people, little people in
604
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,080
your brain, those little people
have to eat right.
605
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:46,200
So they, they eat glucose,
right?
606
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:48,360
But they also then have to do
the other thing.
607
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:52,080
So the brain knows this, that
they create metabolic waste,
608
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,080
right?
They eat and, and you use them
609
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,280
and they, they poop stuff out.
So the brain has this like clean
610
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,160
up team.
But the problem is, is that for
611
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,920
that clean up team to really do
their job, you actually have to
612
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,360
rest.
Like you actually have to do
613
00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:06,600
nothing.
So that could be going for a
614
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:10,040
walk, that could be meditating,
it could be closing your eyes
615
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:12,880
and listening to music.
It could, it could, it could
616
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:14,240
just be having a like a long
shower.
617
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:18,120
But what this allows your brain
to do is go from the central
618
00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:21,960
executive network, which is like
you're engaged writing, I'm
619
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,400
planning, I'm problem solving,
I'm you're doing something,
620
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:29,800
which is what teachers do 10
hours a day to what we call the
621
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:33,560
default mode network, which is
kind of like your, your, I call
622
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,920
it your passive network.
But it's kind of you're like I
623
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,560
say, you're doing something that
is maybe habitual, like doing
624
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,920
the dishes in the shower,
whatever.
625
00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:44,640
And what this allows your brain
to do is to again, connect the
626
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:49,000
dots, sort of sort your memories
emotionally processed, but it
627
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,440
allows that that clean up crew
time to go round and to clear
628
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:55,640
some there's waste.
So one thing is to connect to
629
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:59,000
that is like decisions, not only
is it say we've like switched on
630
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,120
for 10 hours a day and that
clean up crew's not getting time
631
00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:04,360
to work, but we're making so
many decisions and people, you
632
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:07,480
know, like say like that, that
self talk, if you like, if I'm
633
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:09,680
pathetic, I've got no willpower,
why can't I do this?
634
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:11,240
What's wrong with me that that's
a big one?
635
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,680
What's wrong with me?
And we get this really negative
636
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:16,520
self-image come up because we're
just, you know, really, really
637
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:18,320
tired.
But when it comes to little,
638
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:22,240
seemingly little decisions like
what's for dinner, we then beat
639
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:23,240
ourselves up because we can't
think.
640
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:24,600
I'm getting get McDonald's
again.
641
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:26,200
Okay, yeah, we've all done that.
You.
642
00:28:26,360 --> 00:28:29,320
Make a bad decision, yeah.
Yeah, we've all done that and we
643
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:31,840
beat ourselves up for it.
And that self-image gets
644
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:33,760
consolidated.
And it's almost like James
645
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:36,240
Clear, who wrote Atomic Habits,
talks about casting votes for
646
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,760
identities.
And every time you do something,
647
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:40,840
you're, you're just, you're
showing yourself what kind of
648
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:42,440
person you want to be, what kind
of person you want.
649
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,240
So every time that you have no
willpower, let's just say,
650
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:48,960
because you're just exhausted.
And it's a very human thing.
651
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,760
You're then making decisions
that are reinforcing your
652
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,520
identity, which then leads you
to make more of those decisions.
653
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:58,680
So yeah, a few things.
We, we, we're constantly engaged
654
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:01,280
as teachers.
Our brains, tonnes and tonnes of
655
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,360
decisions.
I saw a post, I don't think
656
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:06,520
anyone can really quantify it,
but it's like we make 1500
657
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:10,040
teachers or a decision, sorry,
as as a teacher or we make more
658
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,880
decisions than a brain surgeon.
There's all those stats out
659
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:14,640
there.
And we, we probably do, let's be
660
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,200
honest, because we're making
decisions.
661
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:18,640
I think I think someone said
it's every 4 seconds.
662
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,600
I read when it's.
About right when I think about
663
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:21,520
my day.
Teaching.
664
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:24,120
I think about teaching.
I'm so engaged in the moment of
665
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,320
teaching, right?
And it is genuinely because I
666
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:27,680
am.
I am like, totally.
667
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:29,440
It's like playing a game that
you're really into, right?
668
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,120
And you're totally absorbed.
I'm like that for six hours a
669
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:34,520
day with kids.
And I'm constantly, constantly
670
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:37,320
assessing and making decisions
about each of the 32 kids in
671
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:38,720
that class.
So it makes sense.
672
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,640
Yeah, 100%.
So you've got those things going
673
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:42,600
on.
You obviously got like that
674
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:45,080
chronic courses, all buildups
have been that stress hormone.
675
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:48,240
Teaching is, I think when people
say teaching is a stressful job,
676
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,160
it's like the understatement of
the century.
677
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:54,440
But you, you are taking on,
you're taking on those
678
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,280
children's emotions.
You're taking on colleagues
679
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:58,520
emotions.
You're taking on, you know, in
680
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:03,520
2024, we're now taking on the
emotions of the family and the
681
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,280
grandparents and this person,
this person.
682
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:09,200
And as a teacher, you are a
teacher, a social worker, a
683
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:12,480
nurse.
Every other job under the sun is
684
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:15,280
condensed and we can get into
the politics of why that is
685
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:18,200
Maybe.
But you're doing all those
686
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:19,600
things.
So you're absorbing all those
687
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:21,960
emotions and that chronic
cortisol build up because you're
688
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:25,640
you're stressed.
And one thing that our brains
689
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,400
are built for is is stress.
So when people say, you know,
690
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:31,360
I'm really stressed, I think
what we mean is I'm chronically
691
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:32,720
stressed and I'm not recovering
enough.
692
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:35,680
Because as humans, our brains
and bodies, we are built to
693
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:39,160
experience stress, which is
great because we go out and we,
694
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:44,240
you know, we fight off a bear
and we then pick some berries or
695
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,640
we build a shelter and it falls
down and that's really annoying.
696
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:49,000
So then we build it up again and
we build a fire in the rain and
697
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,800
we go and hunt an animal and we
run for six hours and all this
698
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:53,720
kind of stuff that we are
literally built to do.
699
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:56,800
But then what we used to do is
we would then go back to our
700
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:58,360
caves or we'd go back to
wherever.
701
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:01,400
And then we would sleep 9 hours
and we'd have a big meal and
702
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,720
we'd sing songs and we'd, we'd
rest, we'd switch off, We
703
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:07,440
wouldn't be on our phones,
obviously, we wouldn't be
704
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:08,920
working.
We wouldn't be worrying about
705
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,960
the children in school.
So stress inherently isn't a
706
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:13,240
negative thing.
It's the fact that we're not
707
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:16,640
resting enough because there's
the equation of stress plus rest
708
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,120
equals growth.
And that might be your muscles
709
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:21,680
in the gym, It might be your
resilience to, to certain
710
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:24,120
emotions.
It might be studying at
711
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:25,960
university to become a teacher
or whatever.
712
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,400
Like when you stress your brain,
you go away, you recover, you
713
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:30,760
come back stronger.
But as teachers, we're we're
714
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:33,200
stuck in that stress, stress,
stress.
715
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:34,880
There's no stress, rest and
growth.
716
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,040
So there's, yeah, there's a lot
of a lot of factors that play
717
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:39,120
into it.
There's a few others.
718
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:41,000
Physically, it's exhausting.
Like a lot of people are on
719
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,680
their feet for hours upon hours
of the day.
720
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:44,200
I think that's understated, by
the way.
721
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:47,320
I think, I think that's
something that in general, even
722
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,480
teachers themselves don't
necessarily think about because
723
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:51,800
we're so focused on.
Yeah, we're stressed.
724
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:54,040
Could we feel it here?
You're right.
725
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,840
Like when I, when I finish the
day of teaching, I, I sit down
726
00:31:56,840 --> 00:32:01,040
and I realise, I almost then
realise I'm exhausted and, and
727
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:03,200
do you see that a lot of
teachers where they kind of
728
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:05,080
don't even think about that.
We've got to tell them you are
729
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:08,080
exhausted physically as well.
Yeah, 100%.
730
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:10,600
And it's almost that some people
call it fight or flight.
731
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:12,680
And I think that's a little bit
overused.
732
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:15,240
You know, a lot of time we're
not actually in that true
733
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:17,720
sympathetic nervous system.
We're not actually in fight or
734
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,920
flight and, but we are
definitely approaching it and
735
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:24,200
we, we, we do run on adrenaline.
We run on coffee and cortisol
736
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,400
and adrenaline, right, is what
we're fuelled by.
737
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:29,760
And when you are running on
adrenaline, your, your world
738
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:33,080
sort of shrinks a little bit.
And when you're, when you are in
739
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,360
fight or flight, your vision
literally does this, which is
740
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:38,360
why going outside and expanding
your field of vision can really
741
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:42,280
help increase serotonin, you
know, peaceful, calm, contented
742
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:44,120
chemical and then decrease cool
stuff.
743
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:47,480
So literally go outside and just
look at, look at an expansive
744
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:50,560
space and you'll literally feel,
I feel less stressed in that
745
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,200
moment.
You know what I love about this,
746
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,440
this chat in general, I'm just
going to reflect on it now.
747
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:57,400
Like our listeners might be,
you're saying so much stuff that
748
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,920
people might have heard before,
but the reason I'm so engrossed
749
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,960
and really loving this talk
right now is because you're
750
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,360
explaining it as well.
You know, like it's so common
751
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,520
for someone to say, go outside
and I'll say it.
752
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:11,360
I'll say go outside, go outside
at lunchtime, go outside.
753
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:14,200
And I'm like, if they ever asked
me why, I'd just be like,
754
00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:17,920
because that's what people say.
But what I love, what I love
755
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:20,360
about what you do, Charlie, is
you know what you're talking
756
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,880
about and you back it up with
because of that, like you said,
757
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:24,720
your video, you're in fight or
flight, your visions going to be
758
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,760
this helps you and the idea of
the cortisol build up.
759
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:30,640
And I'm hoping what people are
getting from this listening is,
760
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:33,720
you know, the big thing I'm
going to take from it is the
761
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:38,080
idea that stress is a good thing
because I never even
762
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,440
contemplated that.
And it makes so much sense when
763
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,960
you just break it down.
We're we're wired to feel
764
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:45,120
stress.
That's why after thousands of
765
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,080
years of evolution, we still
feel stress is because it can
766
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:51,360
help us in certain situations.
Like you said, when we're
767
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:53,120
fighting off a bit, of course
we're going to feel stressed at
768
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:54,440
that spot at that point.
That's normal.
769
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:58,320
But breaking the cycle and
having rest, it's like, yeah,
770
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:00,640
that is something we can say to
our listers and our teachers
771
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:02,680
right now.
We can say, God, This is why,
772
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:05,680
because if you don't have that
break from stress, you're going
773
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:07,840
to feel it.
I personally, I don't know how
774
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:10,560
it obviously, I know Charlie,
you built up to the point where
775
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:12,520
you what you mentioned earlier
about having your panic attack.
776
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:16,840
I, I, I don't feel like I've got
to that point, but I feel like
777
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:20,239
my body displays stress in a
physical way.
778
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:24,280
So I will know I'm stressed.
And I think what you're saying
779
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,159
is, you know, chronically
stressed because I'm always
780
00:34:26,159 --> 00:34:27,920
stressed.
At some point I will know when
781
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:31,080
I'm reaching chronic stress
because I get, you know, severe
782
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,920
heartburn.
My chest hurts and, and, and
783
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:38,400
I've got to the point now in my
career where I think I know that
784
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:41,280
something's building up and
getting into a bad place because
785
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:44,159
of my physical reaction.
And I can't see the hints and
786
00:34:44,159 --> 00:34:46,280
the tips and, and the idea
before that.
787
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:49,600
So what, what I basically want
to put back to you is when
788
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:52,600
you're working with a teacher
who feels this stress, do you
789
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:55,920
feel like, do you find that it's
quite individual or are there
790
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,440
also just this blanket things
you can say to everyone?
791
00:34:58,440 --> 00:34:59,720
Like what?
What's your process with
792
00:34:59,720 --> 00:35:02,960
someone?
Yeah, I mean, 100% I I always
793
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:06,320
give the most annoying answer,
which is it just depends.
794
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:08,680
Yeah, exactly.
It's not an answer, but yeah,
795
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:10,360
it's really, really annoying.
But it just.
796
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,800
Yeah.
But like, if if I take one of
797
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:16,720
you guys and I compare you to my
client Sarah, actually, no,
798
00:35:16,720 --> 00:35:19,800
let's pick someone else.
If I compare you to my client,
799
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:22,560
Sam, Right.
She doesn't have she doesn't
800
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:26,840
have any children at the moment,
doesn't have a partner at the
801
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:29,080
moment, works in different
school to you is a different age
802
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:32,720
to you different gender life
experience different like you
803
00:35:32,720 --> 00:35:37,080
are completely different people.
So if I was to say to Sam to
804
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:40,600
give some perspective shifts or
some options to Sam and talk her
805
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:43,160
and coach her through it, it
would be completely different to
806
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:44,720
what I might talk to you guys
about.
807
00:35:44,720 --> 00:35:48,000
And I think that is so, so
important because you do go back
808
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,640
to social media very quickly.
We live in a world where people
809
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:54,800
have very limited time, very
limited headspace, very limited
810
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:57,240
bandwidth.
So we are living in this world
811
00:35:57,240 --> 00:36:00,880
of ultra fast information and we
have more information than ever,
812
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:02,280
which is actually becoming a
problem.
813
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:05,760
I feel for people's well-being
and everything is so black and
814
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:07,760
white, pigeonholed and
categorised because that's how
815
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:11,520
you get views on a story and say
right, you stress, well it kind
816
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:14,320
of depends and I would spend 10
minutes talking about why it
817
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:15,720
depends.
No one's watching that.
818
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:18,600
Whereas if I come on and say,
put it to a nutrition
819
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,640
perspective, sugar is killing
you, your cereal is really bad,
820
00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:24,000
bad for you.
You know, you've got to eat eggs
821
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:27,320
for every meal.
You know, I'm still, I saw, I
822
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:29,400
saw a diet the other day that
where you're not allowed to
823
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:30,680
drink water.
And I just thought, what's?
824
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:32,720
Oh stop the planet, I want to
get off.
825
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:34,280
Yeah, we've reached the end
point if that's.
826
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:36,480
If that's what it's been, but
it's.
827
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:38,880
By the way, guys, have you ever
tried not eating?
828
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,240
Wow.
OK, It's like, come on.
829
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:45,240
Geez, it's honestly bad.
It's these, these, these, it's,
830
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:46,760
they're not even sound bites
anymore.
831
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:47,920
They're shorter than sound
bites.
832
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:51,840
So yeah, this is the thing, you
know, health, well-being,
833
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:54,120
whatever it is, where it's your
nutrition, your sleep, your
834
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,320
mental health, yourself image,
whatever.
835
00:36:56,880 --> 00:37:00,320
It's so much more complex
because we are complex.
836
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:03,080
It's all simple on paper.
You know, for example, take
837
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:04,880
weight loss, calories in versus
calories out.
838
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:06,840
Yeah, cool.
But what about someone's
839
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:08,560
relationship with food?
What about how someone's
840
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:09,960
sleeping?
What about someone's menstrual
841
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,240
cycle?
What about, you know, so yeah,
842
00:37:12,240 --> 00:37:14,160
sorry, I'm kind of going off a
tangent here, but no, you're
843
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:15,480
worried basically it it does
depend.
844
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:18,360
However, I think there are some
some common themes with
845
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:21,760
particularly with teachers.
As teachers, we, again, I'd
846
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:23,680
never want to tell someone how
they feel or what they
847
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:25,520
experience because that's so
individual.
848
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:29,080
But going just from me, going
from all the, the teachers I
849
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,320
work with, what I tend to see is
that we're very, very hard on
850
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:33,480
ourselves.
We do set very, very high
851
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:36,440
expectations.
We can sometimes be a bit
852
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:39,440
impatient in terms of results.
I think that's humans in
853
00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:41,280
general.
But I think as teachers, we are
854
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:44,480
constantly told you get that
child from working towards to
855
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:47,080
greater depth within two weeks
and you've got the right of
856
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:48,600
motivation.
How are you going to do this?
857
00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:53,160
We're told to to do five years
of progress in five weeks.
858
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:56,800
And I do think that that the
term time constraints where we
859
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,560
are on a 6-8 week countdown
constantly.
860
00:37:59,920 --> 00:38:02,760
All of that I feel sometimes
feeds into a bit of impatience.
861
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:06,040
Plus we use all our patience
from the children and their
862
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,520
parents and our colleagues and
everyone else.
863
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:12,080
There are a few things.
So I think starting small is
864
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,280
good.
And that's really uncomfortable
865
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:17,960
for teachers because we, we, we
want to do a 10 out of 10 job.
866
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:20,960
But actually what happens is we
do a 10 out of 10 for a Monday,
867
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,160
Tuesday, it kind of falls off by
the Wednesday.
868
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:27,400
Whereas if we were to say right,
OK, I'm a zero, let's do it 2
869
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,240
out of 10 for a fortnight.
Cool.
870
00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:31,160
I'm gonna wake up and have a
glass of water.
871
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:33,400
I'm gonna put an apple in my bag
and actually eat it.
872
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:35,640
I took the Mickey out of my
partner because she's got two
873
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:39,480
satsumas that literally they go
out for a day trip and then they
874
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,600
come back again.
I end up throwing faces on them
875
00:38:41,720 --> 00:38:44,720
and give them the names because
like, yeah.
876
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:46,640
You're just exposing me.
I hate this.
877
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:49,560
Like my Apple described, Hayden,
My apple does that every day.
878
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:51,200
It goes, goes, goes to school
with me.
879
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:52,720
Oh, it comes back, goes back in
the thing.
880
00:38:52,720 --> 00:38:55,680
But something Charlie said
there, which Hayden we've spoken
881
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:58,400
about a million times, maybe we
can go in a bit more detail, is
882
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:03,240
that idea of setting the bar way
too high and, and that idea of,
883
00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:05,920
well, do you know what?
If I'm not going to become Mo
884
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:09,200
Farah overnight with my running,
why would I bother going out and
885
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:12,640
trying even to fail?
And you, you've talked about
886
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:15,320
this Hayden before, where you,
you, you just, you want to be
887
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:17,160
amazing at stuff straight away.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
888
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:20,200
And I get and I get frustrated.
I and I know you're the same.
889
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:22,320
We're both very much and it's
terrible.
890
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:25,040
I'm embarrassed by this mindset
of unless I'm going to be
891
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,480
negative self talk here, no, but
it is because I want to change.
892
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:29,320
I need to change this.
But my mindset of a lot of
893
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:32,080
things is unless I'm the best of
it, I don't want to do it then.
894
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:33,600
And it's really bad.
And that's the same way.
895
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:35,840
And I think that does boil down
to even those smaller decisions,
896
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:37,920
you know, like you thought you
were saying, like, I don't want
897
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:40,480
to cook dinner because it's not
going to be the best dinner.
898
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:42,160
So I'll get a takeaway.
It's like, well, hang on.
899
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:43,920
There was probably a middle
ground there that was
900
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:45,320
considerably better than, better
than.
901
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:46,880
Yeah, well, it might have been
like a 10 out of 10 healthy
902
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:48,440
meal, but at least it's
homemade.
903
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:50,760
And yeah, OK, you use something
which might not be ideal, like a
904
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:53,600
sauce from a jar instead of make
it, but that's still better than
905
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,080
the McDonald's.
Right, Yeah, exactly.
906
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:57,320
And exercise, like I kind of
want to talk about exercise
907
00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:01,880
maybe now or soon, but like I
don't since we since we had our
908
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,560
children, I say we as if we had
the same child, we had some
909
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:06,440
children around the same time
and since we had.
910
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:09,760
With our children around the
same time I've I've genuinely
911
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:12,560
done no, I've done no exercise,
no high intensity exercise.
912
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:14,600
Obviously, like you said, I'm
walking around the class and all
913
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:15,960
day.
I get my steps up at school
914
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:19,200
where I'm just constantly
moving, but I haven't done any
915
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:22,880
high intensity exercise in a in
a year now And I and it does
916
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:24,760
really worry me.
I'm starting to get stressed
917
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:26,600
annoyingly, another layer of
stress.
918
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:29,760
I'm getting stressed at the fact
that I'm not now doing exercise
919
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:32,240
like I just, I just I feel very
lost.
920
00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:34,520
So talking to you is really nice
because I'm I'm starting to fit
921
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,160
like little quick wins.
For example, you made me realise
922
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:39,880
I don't even I don't even rest
because when I rest, when I'm
923
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:44,200
resting, quote unquote, I'm on
social media like it's not even
924
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:45,560
resting, is it?
That's what you're that's what
925
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,200
you're saying is like that's not
true.
926
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:48,840
Resting like meditation would be
much better.
927
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:51,600
But anyway, back to exercise.
What what do you have any any
928
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,680
advice on?
Like just breaking that first
929
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:57,000
boundary then and not?
Doing nothing.
930
00:40:57,480 --> 00:41:00,120
Yeah, I think this is good.
And this, this goes to answer
931
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:02,280
that that question from before,
like what, what advice would you
932
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:03,600
give?
So let's talk about like
933
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:05,800
lowering the expectations we've
talked about then kind of
934
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:08,600
starting small, you know, so
that both of those things would
935
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:10,800
apply, apply to exercise, I
think as well.
936
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:14,440
Like just from what you said
there, you're a parent, right?
937
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:17,040
I'm not a parent yet.
And I know my partner
938
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:18,880
desperately wants it to be part
of our future.
939
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,400
Hopefully it can happen because
again, you, you never know these
940
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:23,280
things.
I've learned a lot of lessons
941
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:27,680
well through working with
teachers and clients of you
942
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:29,640
never comment on someone's body,
you never comment on what
943
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:33,320
someone's eating and you don't
comment on children and families
944
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:34,640
because some people don't want
them.
945
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:36,760
Some people do, and sadly, some
people can't have them.
946
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:40,080
So I'm very much aware that it
might be part of our future.
947
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,160
It might not be, but hopefully
it will.
948
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:47,600
And if it is, then I just want
to say I have the most, you
949
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:52,080
know, outstanding admiration for
parents because it it's, it's a
950
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:55,520
full, it's two full time jobs in
one plus you then you've got
951
00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:57,480
teaching, which is like two or
three full time jobs.
952
00:41:57,480 --> 00:41:59,400
So you're kind of doing like
like full time jobs here.
953
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:03,320
You're clocking them up.
You've got this.
954
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:05,960
So I think self compassion is
what I'm getting at.
955
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:07,360
Self compassionate, right,
right.
956
00:42:07,720 --> 00:42:10,720
I'm not who I used to be, you
know, and hopefully you feel
957
00:42:10,720 --> 00:42:13,320
like you're in a, in a happier
chapter of life than, you know,
958
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:15,160
kind of move.
Things are moving the way you
959
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:16,880
want and life is how you want it
to be.
960
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:19,560
But that means that things,
certain things change.
961
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,440
And I don't think that sacrifice
is necessarily the right word
962
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:25,720
because it makes it sound like a
real negative, but things are
963
00:42:25,720 --> 00:42:27,280
different.
Things are just different.
964
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,840
And you know, for me, taking
that social media example,
965
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:33,400
things are different now in
November than where they were in
966
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:34,960
March.
And life's different and
967
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:37,760
business is different and
coaching is different.
968
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:40,320
And I think when you're thinking
about this changed back to
969
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:44,080
exercise and trying to move it
back towards that knowing and
970
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:46,480
just being compassionate of
Kate, life isn't where it was
971
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:49,720
and I don't have the energy and
what the human brain will do.
972
00:42:49,720 --> 00:42:52,280
We have this really fun thing
and safe fun.
973
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,280
Sarcastically, it's called the
negativity bias.
974
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,680
We have unbelievable amounts of
biases.
975
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:01,040
We have cognitive dissonance.
We have confirmation bias.
976
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:04,440
We have negativity bias.
Loads of things actually turning
977
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:06,680
back to stress can make things
quite difficult for us.
978
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:09,520
So what will happen with this
negativity bias?
979
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:11,720
It will drive you towards things
that are, it will drive your
980
00:43:11,720 --> 00:43:14,480
attention Once Upon a time.
It's there to keep you alive, to
981
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:16,360
keep you safe.
Because if you go out into the
982
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,920
woods and you're smelling the
roses instead of looking out for
983
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:21,200
the bear, the bear's going to
beat you and you're not going to
984
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,480
pass your jeans on.
So we developed, we evolved to
985
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:25,400
have this inherent negativity
bias.
986
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:29,240
So we always spot the negative
over the positive always, which
987
00:43:29,240 --> 00:43:31,160
is where things like gratitude
stuff can come in.
988
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:34,040
But what will happen with this
negativity bias is it will make
989
00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:35,920
you focus on things that are
outside your control.
990
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:39,720
So with the exercise example, I
don't have the energy, I don't
991
00:43:39,720 --> 00:43:40,840
have the morning routine I used
to.
992
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:42,240
I don't know.
I can't, I can't, I can't, I
993
00:43:42,240 --> 00:43:43,280
can't.
And we will.
994
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,200
We'll, we'll, we'll do it.
We'll focus on the reasons we
995
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,120
can't.
So what I'm saying is get to the
996
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:50,680
things that you can.
So can it be literally?
997
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:52,600
And it sounds ridiculous and
people won't do this because
998
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:56,600
they feel they feel it will be
so insignificant, but can it be?
999
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,560
You put your shoes in the car,
your trainer's in the car.
1000
00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:01,920
And after work, you put your
trainers on and you go for a
1001
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:03,840
walk.
And on that walk, you see two
1002
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:05,800
lampposts and you say, right,
I'm going to jog between those
1003
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:09,040
two lampposts, which might be
like 15 seconds, say.
1004
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:11,360
And then you walk the next
lamppost and then you jog the
1005
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:12,600
next one and you walk the next
one.
1006
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,680
And before you know it, you've
done 5 or 10 minutes movement.
1007
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:19,480
You've increased your heart
rate, you started to to get
1008
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:21,960
those muscles working and you
started to actually build up
1009
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,840
your cardiovascular system.
And if you were to, people won't
1010
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:26,440
do it because.
They they think it won't make a
1011
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:29,720
difference if you were to do
that twice a week, that walk,
1012
00:44:29,720 --> 00:44:33,000
run, walk, run lamppost thing
twice a week for a month.
1013
00:44:33,720 --> 00:44:36,440
By the end of the month, you're
you're a runner, you're running
1014
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,760
for 10 minutes and then you're
running 5K by by the end of
1015
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:42,600
2020.
I don't know, a bit too soon by
1016
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:45,680
the end of January.
What I'm saying is folks, what
1017
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:48,040
you can control, try and look
for the really, really small
1018
00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:49,960
wins and just lower that by
expectation.
1019
00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:54,640
I would honestly say going out
for a walk will will be the
1020
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:56,320
spark that then gets other
things going.
1021
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:59,240
I think almost every client I've
ever coached, if they if they're
1022
00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:01,120
now in the gym or if they're
swimming or if they're doing
1023
00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:03,400
yoga or if they're working out
at home, it's because they've
1024
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:04,920
started with with a 5 minute
walk.
1025
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:07,480
I'll give you another example.
I was on a coaching call with a
1026
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:11,760
client on Tuesday and she was
really, she's really struggling
1027
00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:14,000
with her at the moment with her,
she's changed jobs loads, new
1028
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,120
responsibilities, new role, lots
of stress.
1029
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,400
There's lots of things going on
in her personal life and she's
1030
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:21,760
been struggling to to get some
movement, some morning movement
1031
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:23,440
in and she knows it makes her
feel really good.
1032
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:25,320
And this is going to sound
ridiculous again.
1033
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:27,160
People are just going to think
what's the point?
1034
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:31,200
But what we're doing is she's
going to leave her flat, she is
1035
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:35,920
going to walk to her car, which
is like A10 metre walk, walk to
1036
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:37,920
a car.
She's going to unlock it and put
1037
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:39,520
a bag in.
She's going to unlock it again
1038
00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:42,120
and she's going to walk 30
seconds away from her car,
1039
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:45,400
timing it on her phone, turn
around and walk 30 seconds back
1040
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:47,600
to her car because that's a
minute of walking.
1041
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:50,480
And then she's then going to
walk away from her car for a
1042
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:51,560
minute.
And we're going to build this up
1043
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:54,480
and build this up.
So over the rest of this half
1044
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:57,000
term, by the time she gets the
Christmas holidays, she's going
1045
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:58,880
to be doing a fifth.
Well, we haven't actually worked
1046
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:02,040
out the mass, but she's going to
be doing like a 1520 minute walk
1047
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:05,720
most mornings because we decided
one of the things was that she
1048
00:46:05,720 --> 00:46:08,920
keeps snoozing her alarm.
So we need to acknowledge that
1049
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:12,200
if that is a barrier, what, Even
if she snoozes her alarm, what
1050
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:14,640
can she do at the moment?
She can afford.
1051
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:17,080
Even if she's late, she can
afford to be late by an extra
1052
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:19,640
minute by walking away from the
car for 30 seconds and going
1053
00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:20,200
back.
Yeah.
1054
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:22,120
And this all sounds ridiculous,
I know.
1055
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:24,040
It doesn't doesn't no, it
doesn't it.
1056
00:46:24,240 --> 00:46:27,400
Doesn't it's really helpful
because it's about the as we
1057
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:29,160
know with neuroplasticity in
building habits, it's about the
1058
00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:31,440
repetition.
It's not about the intensity,
1059
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:33,240
it's about the frequency.
Yeah, right.
1060
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:35,440
So it's not small.
It makes sense.
1061
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:38,880
The, the, the I'm, I'm on board
with you because honestly, if
1062
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:42,000
you'd said that to me about a
year ago or two years ago, I
1063
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:43,840
probably would have thought,
yeah, it does sound ridiculous,
1064
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:46,160
right?
But that the only reason that
1065
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:49,240
sounds ridiculous is the mindset
that we are currently stuck in,
1066
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:52,960
which is unless you're going for
1/2 an hour jog before you get
1067
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:55,080
in your car in the morning,
what's a minute going to do?
1068
00:46:55,240 --> 00:46:57,240
And you, you've perfectly
explained what a minute does.
1069
00:46:57,240 --> 00:46:59,880
So everyone's listening to this
thinking, I do nothing.
1070
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:03,120
I do literally nothing.
There is absolutely nothing out
1071
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:05,640
there that can't convince me
that a minute walk isn't better
1072
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:08,080
than a 0 minute walk.
And once you do a minute walk,
1073
00:47:08,240 --> 00:47:09,840
why wouldn't it turn into a 2
minute walk?
1074
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:11,920
A 3 minute walk.
That's the allure for me.
1075
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:13,480
I mean, that's where you've
really got my mind.
1076
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:14,640
You've clicked.
I've just clicked now.
1077
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:16,920
It's not about the minute walk.
It's about the fact that it
1078
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:19,160
unlocks the two-minute walk and
it's about the fact that that
1079
00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:20,320
then unlocks the three minute
walk.
1080
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:21,480
It's the butterfly effect, isn't
it?
1081
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:23,680
I can see that and it works.
And I get that because I'm a
1082
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:25,360
teacher and I do have kids all
the time, like.
1083
00:47:25,720 --> 00:47:27,840
Why do I not you know?
This, this is the point I wanted
1084
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:30,120
to make right now.
I don't know, having worked with
1085
00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:32,360
teachers, Charlie and being a
teacher and our partners are all
1086
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:34,480
teachers as well.
The thing that strikes me the
1087
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:37,040
most about this whole health
well-being, looking after
1088
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:41,640
yourself is our entire job and
our like purpose in life is to
1089
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:44,680
look after other people and help
them and see them develop and
1090
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:47,560
watch them go from A to B in the
best way possible.
1091
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:49,760
That's also good for their
well-being that keeps them safe,
1092
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,800
that makes them happy.
We are experts at doing that.
1093
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:56,160
But when it comes to doing it to
ourselves and seeing ourselves
1094
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:57,760
as a human being, that's
worthwhile.
1095
00:47:58,200 --> 00:47:59,880
Hayden.
Hayden would never say to a
1096
00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:02,000
child in this class, oh, that's
pathetic.
1097
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,600
That's pathetic that you can't,
that you can't do your own.
1098
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:06,760
You make your own healthy life.
That's what do you mean you
1099
00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:08,120
can't put a front of the verb on
our sentence.
1100
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:09,440
We've just practised it.
That's awful.
1101
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:12,320
You're an awful human being.
Do you find that with teachers
1102
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:15,440
we have like, this huge
disparity, as much as I see it,
1103
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:17,640
in terms of how you treat other
people and how you treat
1104
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:21,040
yourself?
Oh yes, this is.
1105
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:23,600
I've been so fascinated with
this recently.
1106
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:27,640
I've been doing a lot of reading
around it and I've written a few
1107
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:30,280
posts about it and stuff because
this is me in a nutshell.
1108
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:33,000
This is exactly what one of my
big barriers were.
1109
00:48:34,320 --> 00:48:36,760
I might go on a rant that
tangent here, so maybe this will
1110
00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:42,680
be split into two episodes, but
essentially the thing that I'm
1111
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,080
finding fascinating at the
moment is this.
1112
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:48,040
Like say this disparity between
the worth and the value and the
1113
00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:51,480
respect we give and put on
others and the same with
1114
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:53,920
ourselves and the value and
everything.
1115
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:57,800
So what I find is that for a lot
of teachers, they do see it.
1116
00:48:57,800 --> 00:48:59,480
Again, never want to tell
someone how they're feeling.
1117
00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:02,600
But from what I can see, a lot
of teachers struggle to put
1118
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:06,120
themselves first because they
don't feel deserving of it or
1119
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:10,000
they have they don't feel like
they are worthy of their time
1120
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:11,560
and that others are more worthy
than them.
1121
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:13,960
So then we get into the the
whole realms and the discussion
1122
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:16,000
of like self worth and self
respect.
1123
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:17,840
I think self respect always
sounds quite aggressive.
1124
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:20,080
You know, it sounds quite, I
think it sounds quite sort of
1125
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:22,560
like you have no self respect.
I don't know.
1126
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:25,000
But self worth, let's call it
that.
1127
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:26,880
And it's the way that you see
yourself.
1128
00:49:27,240 --> 00:49:29,040
And I love the analogy, not the
analogy.
1129
00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:33,000
I love the phrase sorry of it's
self first, not selfish.
1130
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:36,800
And actually by putting yourself
first sometimes and again,
1131
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:39,920
particularly as parents and
carers, but but for everyone,
1132
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:42,400
you can't always put yourself
first.
1133
00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:45,120
You know, you just can't.
Let's be realistic about it.
1134
00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:47,840
But in the moments where you
again, negativity bias, looking
1135
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:50,640
for what you can control, in the
moments where you can by putting
1136
00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:54,080
yourself first, you are casting
a ripple into a pond, which
1137
00:49:54,080 --> 00:49:56,080
never stops.
It's the butterfly effect.
1138
00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:58,720
You go for that.
My client's going to go for that
1139
00:49:58,720 --> 00:50:01,640
32nd away from her car, 32nd
back to her car walk.
1140
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:06,240
And that again, might seem far
fetched, but that is going to
1141
00:50:06,240 --> 00:50:08,360
ripple effect throughout the
entire community.
1142
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:12,360
And I, I genuinely believe that.
And maybe not that particular
1143
00:50:12,360 --> 00:50:16,320
32nd walk, but the fact that she
has shown herself and like we
1144
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:19,000
said earlier, James Clear's
casting votes, she's she's cast
1145
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,920
a vote that she matters.
And I know some people might
1146
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:24,960
listen to this and go, oh, this
is a bit too feely insensitive
1147
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:27,440
for me.
But actually, we all, we all
1148
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:29,800
have these feelings, right?
We, we all, we all experience
1149
00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:32,080
this, whether we know it or not.
For most of us, it's on a
1150
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:33,760
subconscious level.
And it definitely was for me.
1151
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:37,600
But casting that vote that you
matter and doing something as
1152
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:42,160
small as a 32nd walk or eating
your lunch without marking.
1153
00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:44,560
And again, each their own.
You know, at times I would mark
1154
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:47,200
and eat so that I could go home
earlier and and beat the family
1155
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:48,840
and some for some people, that's
what they want to do.
1156
00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:50,600
Not going to tell people how to
live their lives.
1157
00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:54,240
But if you decide that, okay,
I'm, I'm, I'm not going to work
1158
00:50:54,240 --> 00:50:56,080
and eat, I'm just going to eat
my lunch and I'm going to watch
1159
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:59,680
the squirrels out the window or
the rain or snow apparently in
1160
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:03,320
November at the moment.
Like I'm just going to be, you
1161
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:05,880
know, try and have that default
mode network brain break sort of
1162
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:07,080
thing.
That is you.
1163
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:09,840
You're not the same as the run
and everything.
1164
00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:14,200
You're not just saying, OK, I'm
going to eat my lunch and I'm
1165
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:16,400
going to digest it a bit better.
I'm not going to feel fuller
1166
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:18,240
because my brain's actually
clocking what I'm eating.
1167
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:21,320
You're saying that you matter
and I don't know how I got on
1168
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:24,280
this point.
However, what what I think is
1169
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:26,640
that it's important for us to
acknowledge that when we, when
1170
00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:29,520
we do put ourselves first, we
cast that stone into the pond.
1171
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:32,400
The ripples then go out and it
will benefit you.
1172
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:34,960
It will, it will benefit how you
show up for the children.
1173
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:37,800
You'll have more patience.
You will feel like you have done
1174
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:40,280
something for yourself and you
will be a better version of
1175
00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:41,640
yourself for everyone around
you.
1176
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:44,440
So although it feels very, very
selfish to put yourself first,
1177
00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:48,400
you might feel undeserving of
that at the moment, actually,
1178
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:51,080
not just knowing the back of
your mind that it, it's, it's
1179
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:54,480
actually quite selfless.
And this kind of takes me back
1180
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:56,400
full circle to to the self worth
thing.
1181
00:51:56,920 --> 00:51:59,720
I just for me personally,
because this is quite deep.
1182
00:51:59,720 --> 00:52:02,360
So I'll, I'll just talk about
myself in in this situation.
1183
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:06,120
But I found that I was wearing,
you hear quite a lot in teaching
1184
00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:08,000
about that busy badge of honour
and all that kind of stuff.
1185
00:52:08,040 --> 00:52:10,320
And I was, I was wearing that
stress.
1186
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:16,040
That stress was like a a cloak,
a gown that I draped over myself
1187
00:52:16,040 --> 00:52:19,200
that I was so proud to wear.
And I'd say to my friends, can't
1188
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:21,000
come to the pub tonight, they
thank you.
1189
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:22,440
I've got marketing to do
actually.
1190
00:52:23,240 --> 00:52:24,840
And the books won't even stay in
my car.
1191
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:27,520
But you know, I'm there thinking
about marking at least on a
1192
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:31,800
Friday night.
And for me, it was because I
1193
00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:34,520
didn't feel deserving.
I didn't feel like I deserved my
1194
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:38,560
own time and attention.
And actually by me being self,
1195
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:42,920
by me almost projecting and
pretending to be selfless by
1196
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:45,360
putting people first is what I'm
getting at.
1197
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:48,280
So you know, I've got to do my
marking.
1198
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:52,000
I've got to go and sort that
thing out at lunchtime.
1199
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:54,360
I'll say yes to that club.
I'm selfless, I'm selfless.
1200
00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:56,960
I'm giving.
I'm giving for me, just me
1201
00:52:56,960 --> 00:53:01,600
personally, I was actually
trying to avoid the discomfort
1202
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:04,160
of saying no to people.
And I was trying to make myself
1203
00:53:04,160 --> 00:53:06,520
feel better.
And I was attaching myself worth
1204
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:09,320
to my job.
So when you look at it that way,
1205
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:12,320
was I actually being selfless or
was I actually being very, very
1206
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:14,560
selfish because I was, I was
giving to others.
1207
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:16,840
But really, if I'm being honest,
it wasn't always for others.
1208
00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:18,440
It was because it made me feel
good, right?
1209
00:53:18,640 --> 00:53:19,680
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
1210
00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:22,480
You know, I mean, it made me
feel like I'm being productive.
1211
00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:25,200
It made me feel worthy.
I could then say that, you know,
1212
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:27,240
I'm the teacher who's always
stressed and I'm, I'm always
1213
00:53:27,240 --> 00:53:30,360
rushing around.
It's just for me again.
1214
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:33,960
Yeah, I know that might not sit
land well with some people, but
1215
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:38,400
for me, I was being very, very
selfish by being so selfless.
1216
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:40,080
Yeah.
Which is a really weird way to
1217
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:41,360
think about it.
I get.
1218
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:44,080
It back back to the pond, you
know, cast that stone and the
1219
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:46,320
ripples will will positively
impact people around you.
1220
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:47,720
Yeah.
I mean, the crux of that as
1221
00:53:47,720 --> 00:53:50,000
well, I think a lot of people
use this kind of, you've gone
1222
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:52,320
into much more detail, but the
analogy I always hear is if you
1223
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:54,200
don't put yourself first, you're
not actually going to be be
1224
00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:56,440
ironically as good as a teacher
as you think you are.
1225
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:59,120
If you're constantly, constantly
exhausted because you're oh, I'm
1226
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:01,400
so selfless, you're actually
like, you're potentially not
1227
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:04,080
even going to be as good as you
would be if you, if you actually
1228
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:05,680
yourself first.
Like we've discussed before,
1229
00:54:06,080 --> 00:54:08,400
about like a long time ago, we
were talking about if we were
1230
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:11,720
leading a school.
My mantra is very much, and I
1231
00:54:11,720 --> 00:54:13,880
think this is a bit
controversial really, is put the
1232
00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:15,040
teachers first.
Genuinely.
1233
00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:17,440
I've always said if I was going
to run a school, my teachers
1234
00:54:17,440 --> 00:54:19,080
would be my top priority.
But everyone's like, oh, no, you
1235
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:20,720
can't say that.
You have to say the kids come
1236
00:54:20,720 --> 00:54:22,080
first.
Yeah, the kids come first.
1237
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:24,280
It's like, Oh, yeah, obviously
I'm not saying I don't care
1238
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:26,760
about the kids, but what I'm
trying to allude to is what you
1239
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:29,640
really nicely described there,
which is if I have happy,
1240
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:33,160
motivated, healthy teachers,
they will do a better job than
1241
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:36,800
the other version of that, which
is what most of us feel all the
1242
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:38,360
time.
But we also, you know, so it's
1243
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:41,360
just so nice hearing you talk
because the other, the other
1244
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:43,840
week we talked about essentially
what you described to me was
1245
00:54:43,840 --> 00:54:45,240
what we were calling teacher
martyrs.
1246
00:54:45,240 --> 00:54:48,120
It's that martyrdom of I must
sacrifice myself to be a good
1247
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:49,400
teacher.
And you do you wear it as a
1248
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:51,280
badge of honour.
We've been there, you've been
1249
00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:52,880
there.
Like a lot of people have
1250
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:55,640
experienced that.
But you, you kind of summarised
1251
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:56,760
it in a really nice sensitive
way.
1252
00:54:56,760 --> 00:54:59,920
We just had a bit of a rant
about like how it's kind of like
1253
00:54:59,920 --> 00:55:01,520
it's ruining the profession
because we can't get stuff done.
1254
00:55:01,640 --> 00:55:04,600
Yeah, but but Charlie is right
though, because like, like we
1255
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:07,080
tried to say in that chat, there
are you can't talk for everyone
1256
00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:10,720
because there'll be some people
who that selfless badge actually
1257
00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:13,960
intrinsically they are probably
being selfless.
1258
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:16,280
Like you talked about how you're
being selfish because you make
1259
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:18,360
it feel good.
I know there is, I know some
1260
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:21,200
teachers right now who I really,
truly don't think of being
1261
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:23,200
selfish, who are trying to be
selfless.
1262
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:25,600
And actually they've got a
pretty good balance with their
1263
00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:26,520
life.
They feel quite healthy.
1264
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:29,280
They're in a different position.
Their home life is so that, you
1265
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:31,520
know, they want to put that
extra time in and they're
1266
00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:34,720
choosing to do so.
I think that the, where it can
1267
00:55:34,720 --> 00:55:38,920
become toxic is what's happening
in the profession where that can
1268
00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:41,800
become expected.
And I think that's where that's
1269
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:44,040
where the burnout happens.
That's where the stress happens,
1270
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:47,000
where teachers who are doing
what you said, what we talked
1271
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:49,680
about earlier in our career,
where we're, we're saying yes to
1272
00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:50,920
everything because we're
teachers.
1273
00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:53,920
And that's a badge of honour.
When that from the powers that
1274
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:56,880
be becomes the norm and
expected, you're never ever
1275
00:55:56,880 --> 00:55:59,520
going to break that cycle
because what you've summed up
1276
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:02,280
today really nicely is the
things you can do to change to
1277
00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:03,720
help your well-being, to help
your health.
1278
00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:07,680
And the thing we talk about
sometimes is we're not saying
1279
00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:12,120
that you can control bosses SLT
toxicity from, you know, the
1280
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:14,120
public, some of the public in
general.
1281
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:17,160
So I just wanted to say thank
you because I think what you're
1282
00:56:17,160 --> 00:56:19,400
giving is tangible advice to
people here.
1283
00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:21,920
As you know, you might find
yourself in a situation we're
1284
00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:23,640
all in teaching.
We can't pretend it's not
1285
00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:25,400
broken.
To an extent we know it is.
1286
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:27,880
But do you know what?
People still love teaching,
1287
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:31,120
People want to get around it.
And I think you've given some
1288
00:56:31,120 --> 00:56:33,800
really solid advice.
There's just one thing I wanted
1289
00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:37,760
to get before we before we do
finish this chat is I want to
1290
00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:41,720
talk about food briefly because
this is something that I know
1291
00:56:41,720 --> 00:56:44,000
Hayden and I and A lot of our
listeners, because we've touched
1292
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:45,200
it before, I really struggle
with.
1293
00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:48,680
So I'm not afraid to say I do
really struggle with food in
1294
00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:51,720
general.
And you talk about emotion LED
1295
00:56:51,720 --> 00:56:55,440
eating before and how teaching
can be that kind of job where
1296
00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:58,280
you reward yourself with this
chocolate cake at the end of the
1297
00:56:58,280 --> 00:56:59,680
day or something.
Or in the staff room.
1298
00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:00,920
Yeah, in the staff room.
Exactly.
1299
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:02,520
There's loads of stuff.
And I just wanted to get your
1300
00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:05,560
insight into your thoughts on
emotion LED eating because I've
1301
00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:09,000
done it before.
Where I'm extremes like we
1302
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:12,080
talked about with with, with,
with exercise, you either you
1303
00:57:12,080 --> 00:57:14,960
want to become a marathon runner
or you might as well not do
1304
00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:16,840
anything.
I have that same mindset with
1305
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:18,360
food.
And I'm wondering if you can
1306
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:21,880
draw parallels maybe with the
exercise because I can cut out
1307
00:57:21,880 --> 00:57:23,160
sugar because I think, right,
cool.
1308
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:25,240
I feel like I'm addicted to
sugar.
1309
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:27,440
Am I addicted?
Can you be addicted to sugar?
1310
00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:29,240
I don't know.
I'm not a scientist, but in my
1311
00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:30,720
head I think, oh, that's my
problem.
1312
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:32,840
It's sugar.
So I'll cut out sugar, I'll lose
1313
00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:34,080
a bunch of weight, I'll feel
great.
1314
00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:38,840
And as soon as I have one thing,
I then justify it.
1315
00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:41,600
Well, I've had that thing
yesterday, okay, four months, no
1316
00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:43,040
sugar, but I had a chocolate by
yesterday.
1317
00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:44,720
Nothing happened.
I'll have another two today.
1318
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:49,560
And then I spiral back and I'm
up, down, up, down and teaching
1319
00:57:49,560 --> 00:57:52,240
is up, down, up, down.
And I really struggle to
1320
00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:55,920
disconnect my emotions and my
stress with my eating.
1321
00:57:55,920 --> 00:57:58,600
So I just wondered if you have
any like general tips there of
1322
00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:00,600
you know what's going on when
that happens?
1323
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:03,800
I love first of all, I love this
topic.
1324
00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:07,360
Yeah, they say that I could this
could be an hour in itself.
1325
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:10,000
So I'll I'll, I'll try and as
everything.
1326
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:11,080
How about?
You know, if you give us a
1327
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:13,240
general gist, we'll have you
back on at some point and we can
1328
00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:15,600
go into more detail maybe.
OK, yeah, that's, that's a good
1329
00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:17,560
idea because I, I genuinely love
this topic.
1330
00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:21,520
I think with emotional eating,
and I like that you said an
1331
00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:25,200
emotionally, not an emotional
eating, because I, I think being
1332
00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:27,480
led by your emotions is, is the
crux of it.
1333
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:30,160
I think that's, that kind of
gives you exactly where to, to
1334
00:58:30,160 --> 00:58:32,640
get in to, you know, to the real
nitty gritty is to look at the
1335
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:34,720
emotion.
But again, that's a deeper layer
1336
00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:37,600
for a lot of people.
The thing with emotional eating
1337
00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:39,760
is to realise that you're doing
it for a reason.
1338
00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:43,440
You wouldn't do it if it didn't
help, right?
1339
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:45,560
It, it, it's a, it's a coping
strategy.
1340
00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:48,760
And that's fine.
And if, let's say you've got 10
1341
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:51,120
different strategies to manage,
we're just going to focus on
1342
00:58:51,120 --> 00:58:53,400
stress here.
But it could be anger, it could
1343
00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:56,240
be loneliness, it could be
boredom, it could be tiredness,
1344
00:58:56,240 --> 00:59:00,280
it could be anxiety, whatever.
But let's just say it's stress.
1345
00:59:00,400 --> 00:59:02,760
If you've got 10 different
coping strategies to manage your
1346
00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:07,480
stress, right, and eating is one
of them, then that is actually
1347
00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:08,960
probably not a problem for you
in your life.
1348
00:59:08,960 --> 00:59:11,320
And your relationship with food
is probably not at a point where
1349
00:59:11,320 --> 00:59:13,880
it really needs much work
because you've got these
1350
00:59:13,880 --> 00:59:16,600
different strategies.
The real problem I see is that
1351
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:20,480
when whether it is because we
don't nurture our identity
1352
00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:22,880
outside the classroom, whether
it's because we do, our life
1353
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:25,760
does shrink to to be just work,
which it can easily do.
1354
00:59:25,960 --> 00:59:29,600
It's like work, adult life
admin, like the shopping and
1355
00:59:29,600 --> 00:59:31,560
then looking after family.
And that's what a lot of
1356
00:59:31,560 --> 00:59:33,120
teachers life's comprised of at
the moment.
1357
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:37,400
For whatever reason, when your
coping strategies shrink down to
1358
00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:40,360
the fact that to the point where
you just have one and that
1359
00:59:40,480 --> 00:59:43,600
eating is, is the thing that you
do to feel better, that's when
1360
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:47,080
it becomes a problem.
So the emotional eating
1361
00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:50,240
inheritance isn't just, it's
not, you know, we can't just say
1362
00:59:50,240 --> 00:59:52,840
all emotional eating is a
problem because you go get a
1363
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:54,400
promotion, you go out for a meal
to celebrate.
1364
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:57,800
That's emotional eating, but
it's a different emotion and da,
1365
00:59:57,800 --> 00:59:59,760
da, da.
So that's, that's important to
1366
00:59:59,760 --> 01:00:01,240
say.
So a really simple thing is,
1367
01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:03,440
rather than looking at what we
can take away from your life,
1368
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:06,280
what positive coping strategies
could we add in?
1369
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:10,040
Which is where movement and
exercise because it increases
1370
01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:13,160
endorphins and endocannabinoids,
it increases serotonin and
1371
01:00:13,160 --> 01:00:15,120
dopamine, particularly the
outside.
1372
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:19,080
That's a great coping strategy.
A 10 minute walk is amazing.
1373
01:00:20,120 --> 01:00:23,200
So what can you add into your
coping strategy toolbox rather
1374
01:00:23,200 --> 01:00:25,600
than just focusing on
emotionally is the problem?
1375
01:00:25,680 --> 01:00:27,520
That would be #1 I'd say so
good.
1376
01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:29,480
I really like your positive
approach.
1377
01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:30,800
You've done everything in this
episode.
1378
01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:33,240
It's been really refreshing and
you've really, really made the
1379
01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:34,240
point.
I'm sure it's, you know, it's
1380
01:00:34,240 --> 01:00:36,600
your mantra, but you've very
clearly come across it's about,
1381
01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:39,280
it's not about adding more
negatives or making things like
1382
01:00:39,280 --> 01:00:41,040
a sacrifice.
You're not a bad person.
1383
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:42,440
Yeah.
It's, it's just add more
1384
01:00:42,440 --> 01:00:44,560
positive things into your life.
And I imagine the idea is that
1385
01:00:44,560 --> 01:00:47,360
actually you'll then find
naturally that you'll transition
1386
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:49,200
to a more positive lifestyle as
a result anyway.
1387
01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:51,880
And some of those negative
things, whatever they are, might
1388
01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:53,800
kind of step out.
You don't need to talk about
1389
01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:54,120
them.
Yeah.
1390
01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:56,440
That's really interesting.
I, I will just add, I think
1391
01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:58,840
having listened, I genuinely
want to just tell you now, I
1392
01:00:58,840 --> 01:01:01,240
think you've unlocked like two
or three or four things in me
1393
01:01:01,480 --> 01:01:03,800
that I feel like I can go away
and really action.
1394
01:01:03,800 --> 01:01:05,360
And I'm hoping the listeners
feel that way too.
1395
01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:08,480
And yeah, I just wanted to say
big thank you for everything
1396
01:01:08,480 --> 01:01:10,960
you've gone through so far.
Honestly, what we're going to do
1397
01:01:10,960 --> 01:01:13,360
then before we wrap up, I
really, really want our
1398
01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:15,280
listeners to know where to find
you.
1399
01:01:15,600 --> 01:01:18,800
And if I'm right, you're writing
a book currently about this
1400
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:21,480
whole thing.
Just just maybe a little quick,
1401
01:01:21,680 --> 01:01:22,760
where can we find you?
What?
1402
01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:24,800
What's the plans for the future?
Yeah, cool.
1403
01:01:24,800 --> 01:01:28,120
So Instagram's where I live most
of the time.
1404
01:01:28,840 --> 01:01:31,080
Facebook I'm not a fan of
anymore.
1405
01:01:31,640 --> 01:01:34,120
TikTok, it's too quick for me.
I can't keep up with it.
1406
01:01:34,320 --> 01:01:38,120
So yeah, Instagram's the main
place, but everywhere I live is
1407
01:01:38,120 --> 01:01:40,720
just the teacher's health coach.
It just does what it says on the
1408
01:01:40,720 --> 01:01:42,400
tin.
Didn't put much thought into
1409
01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:45,920
that name, but that's website
Instagram, all that good stuff.
1410
01:01:46,840 --> 01:01:49,760
I did used to write a weekly
newsletter and I used to have a
1411
01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:53,720
weekly podcast, which I'm aiming
to bring back at some point
1412
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:55,160
soon.
I've just started to record bits
1413
01:01:55,160 --> 01:01:58,760
and things.
And the reason that I've got on
1414
01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:00,320
the back burner is because of
like, say that book.
1415
01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:01,680
So Healthy Habits for Teacher
Life.
1416
01:02:01,960 --> 01:02:05,320
So Sage Publications have this
series called Little Guides for
1417
01:02:05,320 --> 01:02:07,640
Teachers.
Yeah, I'm about to say Guides
1418
01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:09,960
for little teachers.
It's not little guide, Little
1419
01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:11,400
guides for teachers.
Need that as well.
1420
01:02:12,040 --> 01:02:14,920
Though there's a whole series of
them, so it's a small, short
1421
01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:17,760
thing.
It's about this big, only 15,000
1422
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:19,600
words, but it's a really
practical guide.
1423
01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:22,000
And, and the brief they gave me
was that we want something that
1424
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:25,320
is focused on habits.
So there's a little bit about
1425
01:02:25,320 --> 01:02:28,440
kind of like the, the neurology
and, and, and the mindset and
1426
01:02:28,440 --> 01:02:30,560
stuff like that.
But it's very much pick this up.
1427
01:02:31,040 --> 01:02:33,120
Here's a pick a quick task you
can take.
1428
01:02:33,240 --> 01:02:34,680
Here's a space to write about
it.
1429
01:02:34,760 --> 01:02:36,240
Here's a reflection.
Go and do it.
1430
01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:38,280
So it's it's like a super
practical book.
1431
01:02:39,520 --> 01:02:41,240
So that's, that's coming out in
February.
1432
01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:43,760
They're in two weeks time.
They're supposed to send me the
1433
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:45,320
final proof, which is quite
exciting.
1434
01:02:45,960 --> 01:02:47,240
So yeah, that's all coming to
head.
1435
01:02:47,240 --> 01:02:49,200
So that's, that's the feature.
The thing that I'm really
1436
01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:51,760
wanting to work on next year is
getting out into more schools.
1437
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:54,640
Yeah, it's been five years now.
I've been building what we're
1438
01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:57,200
doing and it's at the point
where I want to get out in
1439
01:02:57,200 --> 01:02:59,200
personal.
And also I'm going a bit crazy
1440
01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:00,640
looking at this corner of my
spare room.
1441
01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:02,920
Staring at the wall.
Yeah, I think.
1442
01:03:02,920 --> 01:03:05,200
It'll make a big difference.
Yeah, having having listened to
1443
01:03:05,200 --> 01:03:06,280
this conversation, I'll tell you
now.
1444
01:03:06,280 --> 01:03:09,720
I'll be buying that book because
it you know exactly what you
1445
01:03:09,720 --> 01:03:11,880
said here.
It's that process of let's
1446
01:03:11,880 --> 01:03:15,040
identify a problem, let's not
shame the person, let's find out
1447
01:03:15,040 --> 01:03:18,320
how we can fix the problem and
also understand why it happens.
1448
01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:21,640
And it's not down to you being a
silly teacher who's just not
1449
01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:23,960
looking after themselves.
No, no, it happens because of
1450
01:03:23,960 --> 01:03:26,320
XYZ.
Let's try and fix it by trying
1451
01:03:26,320 --> 01:03:28,960
these three things.
I'm really grateful, Charlie.
1452
01:03:28,960 --> 01:03:30,280
I want to say thank you again
for your time.
1453
01:03:31,120 --> 01:03:32,320
Thank you.
Thank you both for having me.
1454
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:37,880
OK, Hayden, I don't know about
you, but I really enjoyed that
1455
01:03:37,880 --> 01:03:39,240
chat.
There are moments where Charlie
1456
01:03:39,280 --> 01:03:41,200
was talking and I was just, I
was engrossed.
1457
01:03:41,200 --> 01:03:42,360
I felt like I was listening to a
podcast.
1458
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:43,720
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I forgot we were actually part
1459
01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:45,240
of the podcast.
It was one of the things where I
1460
01:03:45,240 --> 01:03:47,120
saw the time going up and I was
thinking, do you know what can
1461
01:03:47,120 --> 01:03:48,800
we make our podcast like a 2
hour kind of thing?
1462
01:03:48,800 --> 01:03:51,000
Because I really just, I have so
many more things I want to talk
1463
01:03:51,000 --> 01:03:51,960
about.
We'll have to get them back in
1464
01:03:51,960 --> 01:03:53,040
the future.
Absolutely brilliant.
1465
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:56,280
So one thing then each that we
took away from it.
1466
01:03:56,360 --> 01:03:58,160
Let's reflect and then we'll
finish up for the week.
1467
01:03:58,160 --> 01:04:00,280
What's the one thing you're
going to take away from that?
1468
01:04:00,280 --> 01:04:01,760
So I'm going to be really raw
here.
1469
01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:04,080
The thing that's just still in
my mind is the, is the, is the
1470
01:04:04,080 --> 01:04:06,680
whole butterfly effect thing.
I kind of mentioned it, but it's
1471
01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:10,600
really just hit home this whole
idea of you can start with a
1472
01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:12,440
small thing.
I always ignore it.
1473
01:04:12,440 --> 01:04:14,840
I'm like, now what's the point
of starting with a small thing?
1474
01:04:14,840 --> 01:04:16,000
I just want to go straight into
it.
1475
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:18,000
Run that marathon, like you
said, straight away or there's
1476
01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:20,040
no point because it's not going
to actually have an impact on my
1477
01:04:20,040 --> 01:04:21,400
life.
Do you know what it will?
1478
01:04:21,520 --> 01:04:23,880
And it's not that the first
thing will have an impact.
1479
01:04:24,040 --> 01:04:27,560
It's the fact that it won't
change my mindset and make me do
1480
01:04:27,560 --> 01:04:28,800
the next level.
So do you know what?
1481
01:04:28,800 --> 01:04:30,640
I'm going to try it.
I'm going to try and do a little
1482
01:04:30,640 --> 01:04:34,400
walk and then by doing that, the
next time I'll I'll do it again
1483
01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:35,400
because it'll feel good
obviously.
1484
01:04:35,400 --> 01:04:37,280
And I'm hoping then the next
time I'll maybe do a bit of a
1485
01:04:37,280 --> 01:04:38,920
run with it and maybe I'll go a
bit further.
1486
01:04:39,040 --> 01:04:40,680
Maybe I'll do it more than one
time a week.
1487
01:04:40,720 --> 01:04:43,280
I don't know something, but I'm
feeling really inspired to
1488
01:04:43,280 --> 01:04:44,920
actually go out and do
something.
1489
01:04:45,040 --> 01:04:46,000
That's my thing.
What about you?
1490
01:04:46,560 --> 01:04:50,600
My big thing was to not be so
black and white with good and
1491
01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:53,000
bad things in your life.
So for example, we talked about
1492
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:56,320
stress and never really before
have I heard someone just say to
1493
01:04:56,320 --> 01:04:59,240
me point blank, no, humans are
meant to feel stress always with
1494
01:04:59,240 --> 01:05:00,400
stress.
It's like, are you feeling
1495
01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:01,880
stressed?
Try these seven things, like
1496
01:05:01,880 --> 01:05:04,840
just get rid of it completely.
And I really liked the idea
1497
01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:06,720
especially as well with the
emotion that eating.
1498
01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:10,120
He said, yeah, if you were doing
emotion that eating and it was
1499
01:05:10,120 --> 01:05:13,360
one of ten ways to cope with
your emotions, it would probably
1500
01:05:13,360 --> 01:05:15,000
be healthy and fine.
Of course, you can have a bit of
1501
01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:17,000
chocolate every now and then.
If that's the only hook you
1502
01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:19,000
have, you're going to eat
awfully every day.
1503
01:05:19,280 --> 01:05:22,960
And, and, and this idea of don't
try and eradicate things.
1504
01:05:23,200 --> 01:05:26,440
Look at why they exist in your
life, look at the reasons behind
1505
01:05:26,440 --> 01:05:29,520
them being there and see how you
can try and action it and reduce
1506
01:05:29,520 --> 01:05:30,520
it.
It's kind of similar to what
1507
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:32,400
you're saying the other way.
Don't just try and squash it and
1508
01:05:32,400 --> 01:05:33,880
get rid of it.
Yeah, I've done it before.
1509
01:05:33,880 --> 01:05:35,880
I just get rid of sugar and I
lose a bunch of weight and I
1510
01:05:35,880 --> 01:05:38,040
feel great, but it doesn't
actually solve the problem
1511
01:05:38,040 --> 01:05:40,120
because I will always end up
back at that problem.
1512
01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:42,160
Exactly.
If you just understand OK
1513
01:05:42,160 --> 01:05:46,400
emotion that eating is fine.
If maybe the next time you feel
1514
01:05:46,640 --> 01:05:48,560
like you want to grab the bar of
chocolate, you go and try and
1515
01:05:48,560 --> 01:05:51,080
force yourself to go for a run
instead or go for a walk or you
1516
01:05:51,080 --> 01:05:53,240
do some meditation.
Same thing for stress.
1517
01:05:53,440 --> 01:05:54,960
Feeling stress is a human
reaction.
1518
01:05:54,960 --> 01:05:57,120
It's how we react to things.
It's normal.
1519
01:05:57,440 --> 01:06:00,280
If you're feeling chronic
stress, cool, how can I break
1520
01:06:00,280 --> 01:06:01,920
that cycle?
He talked about stress and
1521
01:06:01,920 --> 01:06:04,960
relaxation and just recharging.
You've not got that second part
1522
01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:06,360
that's going to turn into
chronic stress.
1523
01:06:06,360 --> 01:06:08,920
That's when it's a problem.
Stress isn't the problem.
1524
01:06:09,160 --> 01:06:11,200
Emotion LED eating isn't the
problem.
1525
01:06:11,400 --> 01:06:13,640
The problem is everything around
it and how you can try and
1526
01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:15,560
minimise that and and and that
idea of.
1527
01:06:15,680 --> 01:06:18,560
I think what we can both
summarise here is small steps
1528
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:19,840
will make a difference.
Yeah, big time.
1529
01:06:19,840 --> 01:06:21,600
I like that.
To me, it's kind of somebody see
1530
01:06:21,600 --> 01:06:23,200
the analogy, right?
But it's that positive
1531
01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:25,760
reinforcement, right, Rather
than focusing on the negative
1532
01:06:25,760 --> 01:06:26,920
and take.
It's not about getting rid of
1533
01:06:26,920 --> 01:06:29,120
the negative, like you just
said, because for me, right, I
1534
01:06:29,120 --> 01:06:30,840
imagine I see my timetable of
the week on.
1535
01:06:30,840 --> 01:06:33,400
It's my stress timetable.
OK, Monday to Friday, maybe
1536
01:06:33,400 --> 01:06:35,160
Monday to Sunday.
What's the only thing I've got
1537
01:06:35,160 --> 01:06:36,600
blocked in there?
Eating bad food.
1538
01:06:36,960 --> 01:06:38,400
That's the only way I deal with
stress.
1539
01:06:38,680 --> 01:06:40,080
And it's not about don't get rid
of that.
1540
01:06:40,080 --> 01:06:41,960
Do you know what?
Do something else because by
1541
01:06:41,960 --> 01:06:44,320
doing something else, by
default, it takes up some of
1542
01:06:44,320 --> 01:06:46,400
that schedule.
And then I like the idea is, you
1543
01:06:46,400 --> 01:06:48,320
know, when you've got nine other
things, do you know what by
1544
01:06:48,320 --> 01:06:50,600
default?
What if it's only one of ten
1545
01:06:50,600 --> 01:06:52,240
ways to deal with stress eating
that food?
1546
01:06:52,240 --> 01:06:53,680
It can't take up your whole
schedule then, can it?
1547
01:06:53,680 --> 01:06:55,360
It's just because you've got
other things in that schedule
1548
01:06:55,360 --> 01:06:56,880
now.
So I just, I just love that
1549
01:06:56,880 --> 01:06:57,920
mindset.
I'm really, really, really
1550
01:06:57,920 --> 01:06:59,000
going.
To try and I'm feeling pumped.
1551
01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:02,280
I'm feeling, you know how you
should feel when you feel like
1552
01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:03,160
you're going to make a.
Difference.
1553
01:07:03,160 --> 01:07:04,280
Wait, I'll be about to go for a
run.
1554
01:07:06,160 --> 01:07:09,040
McDonald's.
No, we're going for a run.
1555
01:07:09,040 --> 01:07:11,280
Let's do it.
Guys, thank you so much for this
1556
01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:12,400
thing.
I hope you got as much out of
1557
01:07:12,400 --> 01:07:15,160
that as we did, and we'll see
you again next time for another
1558
01:07:15,160 --> 01:07:15,800
episode.
See you.





