Ep 89: Beating Burnout, Boosting Health & Putting Yourself First: Top Tips with Charlie Burley (The Teachers' Health Coach)

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Hello everyone, Dylan here.
Quick message before we start

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this week's podcast.
Hayden, we don't have a sponsor,

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do we?
Nope.

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So our sponsor this week is just
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So thanks for listening and

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let's jump into today's episode.
Hello everyone, and welcome back

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to another episode of Teach
Sleep Repeat.

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My name is Dylan.
And my name is Hayden.

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And at this point, normally in
the podcast, we would sit here

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and we'd go, ha, ha, let's have
a little joke and a catch up

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about our week.
I'm a teacher, you're a teacher.

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Lots goes on in school.
However, we're going to skip all

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that this week, right?
Yeah, a bit different this time,

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isn't it?
Well, we've just, we've just

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come off.
We've just had an interview with

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Charlie, the teacher's health
coach, and you know what?

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We're breaking our script here.
We're going off.

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We're going off script.
It was so amazing and it was

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quite long and we want to show
you the whole thing.

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We don't edit it.
We don't want to cut bits out.

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So we're just kind of rushing
for.

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This is that because it was
really because you can't afford

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to edit.
A bit of both, to be honest with

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you.
No, it was really, really good,

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genuinely insightful.
And I implore you to listen to

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throughout through the whole
episode because he gives so many

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tips, so many actionable things
you can actually do to help your

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well-being, help your workload,
reduce stress, all these amazing

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things.
So yeah, we just want to jump

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straight into the episode,
really.

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Yeah.
I mean, we could talk about it

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right now or we could just press
play on that interview.

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How about I just cut right here?
Hello Charlie, thanks for

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joining us the Teachers Health
coach on Instagram.

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If anyone wants to go and have a
look, we'll link you down below.

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How you doing mate?
Yeah, not too bad, not too bad.

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Being honest, feeling that end
of term tiredness, which I know

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I'm not allowed to say, really
not being in school, but feeling

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the waves.
I blame my other half.

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She brings back all the germs,
she'd bring back the tiredness

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with her.
But yeah, feel a little bit like

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that.
But no feeling good.

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Feeling good.
Amazing.

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It's true.
It's true what they say about

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like teachers getting with other
teachers as their partner.

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I mean, my, my partner's a
teacher.

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I'm a teacher.
My partner, I'm a teacher.

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You're a teacher.
And Charlie, you obviously

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started off teaching and I just
wanted you to let our listeners

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know.
So you were a teacher, a lot of

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a lot of our listeners will be
hearing this thinking, oh gosh,

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I don't know if I can do this
much longer and we'll get into

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all of the well-being and the
workload and the health kicks.

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But just want to just an insight
into your story so far, really,

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because you've built up an
online presence where you're

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you're really encouraging
amazing messages for teachers

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and their health and their
well-being.

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What what is your story?
How long did you teach for?

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What made you take the plunge to
kind of move out of that and and

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go into this direction?
Yeah, OK, I don't want to send

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anyone to sleep, so I'll try and
keep it relatively concise.

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So basically I taught for eight
years in in total and that most

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of that was upper key stage 2.
So a lot of year 5-6.

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And about five years into my
career, I, it sounds a bit

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dramatic, but I basically had a
mental breakdown.

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It's sort of, yeah, burnout is
the word that we all kind of

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refer to, right?
Which as a, you know, it's like

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26 year old lad.
It's not what you expect to

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happen.
And like I said, I'd literally

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been teaching I think five years
by this point.

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And it all it was years in the
making.

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It was a build up of habits.
It was a build up of insecurity.

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It was a build up of over
delivering, overworking, all the

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stuff that we'll probably touch
on in today's episode.

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And it kind of got to end of
middle of year five really.

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And it was a really tough year
for me, generally speaking, like

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personally.
So my partner for five years,

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she'd moved to Africa the year
before and she you just signed a

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contract to a second year
without telling me.

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So that relationship was was
kaput.

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So that that was five years in
my life that had come to an end.

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It was my first year teaching at
6:00.

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So I love joys, lots of things
to talk about there.

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And also my, my LSA Sally, she
was diagnosed with cancer after

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a few months of the academic
year, I think October, November

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time, give or take.
And we literally work together

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since this up that academic
year.

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But you know, when you just meet
someone, particularly in

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professional capacity, you just
gel and you glue and they get

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you and you don't have to say
things.

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You're all, you know what it's
like.

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She was that for me.
And she was also kind of like

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the school Nan.
Yeah.

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And I haven't got any
grandparents still alive.

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So she kind of became my nan
within a few months.

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Yeah.
And she, she was, she was a bit

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of a character, smoke and and
smoke like a trooper, loved in

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loved the Caravan Club.
Like she was a proper, like, I

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can imagine this person, this
pretty proper character.

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Yeah.
And and she, she was diagnosed

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with cancer and she suddenly
passed away.

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I think it was early June the
next academic year.

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Yeah.
So she was obviously off for a

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very long time.
And we'd keep in contact and she

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sent me pictures like she got a
new haircut short, she sent me

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pictures and stuff.
And you know, it was, it was

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really hard because she was
clearly deteriorating from the

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ear and everything.
And then obviously year six and,

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and sats and that pressure and
basically all this kind of came

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to a head.
And, and I said this on a

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podcast recently, actually, the
thing that gets me is that none

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of it was, was front of my mind.
All of that stuff was happening.

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And I don't know whether it was
because there was a lot of

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stigma in my, my mind around
mental health or whether I was

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very ignorant to mental health
and things because to be fair,

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at that time, mental health was
someone depressed, laid up in

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bed.
Like that was my picture of

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mental health.
I was very ignorant, but I

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didn't realise any of this stuff
was going on.

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It was all bubbling had had no,
no sort of thought about it.

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Anyway, about a week before the
SAT, so great timing.

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I was, I can literally picture
now.

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I was stood in the middle of my
classroom and it was just after

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break time and the kids were
coming in there a little bit

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late and something had happened
at break time.

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And there was a boy in my class
who had been on a reduced

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timetable and he was just coming
back in into school.

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But we built up a great
relationship and he had his, he

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had great days and he had days
where he wasn't quite himself.

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And he really struggled with
emotional regulation.

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And his home life blessing was
very turbulent.

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And you know, it's often as
children you build the best,

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yeah, the strongest bonds with.
And he came in essentially

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something had happened at at
break time, something in

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football, and he came in very,
very dysregulated and pens went

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flying and books went flying and
chairs went flying.

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And again, I taught him for
nearly a year by this point.

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And I've been at that school for
five years.

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And I dealt with that in almost
every class I'd had at that

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school, bar a couple.
And it wasn't a new situation at

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all, but something in that
moment, it almost just kind of

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snapped.
It was like the elastic band had

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been stretched too far.
And I basically had, it was only

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the second one I've ever had in
my life.

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I didn't didn't realise the
first one was one until

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afterwards.
But I had this massive panic

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attack, like horrendous.
And if people haven't had a

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panic attack, all I can say is
that I was convinced I was

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dying. 100% convinced that's the
only way I can put it into into

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words.
It felt like a fridge of being

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tipped over on my chest.
I was dripping with sweat.

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My heart was pounding so hard
but so fast and painful and I

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was just, I was shaking.
I couldn't speak.

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And the only thought that came
into my mind was that I don't

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want to scare the kids because I
was convinced I was having a

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heart attack.
And I was like, this is it OK?

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Well, I don't want to scare you.
So I took myself out of the

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classroom, sort of signalled to
my year leader and we had four

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rooms down a really long
corridor.

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So 2 rooms were opposite each
other.

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And I kind of said that I don't
feel well.

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And I took myself off And after
a few minutes, or probably was a

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little bit longer than that
really, I started to kind of

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sort of calm myself down a
little bit.

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And I was kind of thinking,
well, is this a, is it a virus

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like it something's wrong.
I'm physically unwell basically.

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And I went to see the assistant
head and she kind of spoke me,

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talked me around and, and things
and sent me home.

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Anyway, cut a Long story short,
I called 111 and just to check

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because I didn't want to call
999, called 111 and they

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basically refused to not send a
paramedic.

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They said we're going to send a
paramedic and I literally begged

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them not to because I was at my
parents' house.

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Felt really really silly and
embarrassed about the whole

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thing and they sent the
paramedic round.

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So I was there in my parents'
house on the sofa covered with

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all the dots and spots, getting
an ECG and stuff and they said

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that I need to go to hospital.
So I went to the hospital, a day

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in there, more EC GS, blood
tests, consultations, all that

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fun stuff.
And obviously by this point,

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I'm, I'm pretty scared about
I'll like, I'm kind of thinking

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there's something quite badly
wrong.

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But again, just think, thinking
down the physical room.

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And then at the end of the day,
I had a consultation with the

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doctor and I was chatting to him
and he, he asked me what I did

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for a job.
And I was, I'm quite proud of

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you to do, you know, I'm a
teacher, big part of my

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identity.
And, and he asked me if I, if I

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was stressed and I literally
laughed at his face and I was

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like, what do you mean?
You don't know I'm stressed.

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It's just me.
Yeah, Like what?

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And yeah, he wasn't at all
pleased.

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He literally just kind of looked
at me down the barrel and kind

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of literally eye, direct eye
contact and said you need to do

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something about this.
Like, you're 26, I'm diagnosing

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you now with chronic stress and
anxiety.

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That was a panic attack.
You need to do something about

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it.
It's either take medication,

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which I know is a tool for some,
which is I think a great tool

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for many people.
But he said your choices are

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medication and lifestyle change
or a very, very quick lifestyle

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change.
And that, that was it.

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That was kind of the, the
turning point for me.

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But I then stayed in teaching
for three years after that as

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well.
And then we had the joys of

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COVID and all and all that other
stuff.

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But during the next six months,
I, I basically went on, sounds

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00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:55,080
very dramatic, but a bit of like
a self discovery journey and

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more towards the kind of health
side of things and kind of

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thinking about how, you know,
And then during that time I met

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my partner as well, my, my, my
fiance and kind of think, well,

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what do I want my life to be
like?

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Like, how can I live like this
and have a family?

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And how can, how can I live like
this and get married and what's

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the future going to look like?
So I really made a lot of

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changes with how I was working,
how I was thinking about work.

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There was counselling, there was
therapy, there was coaching.

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There was a whole sort of
process during this time.

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And that sparked my own interest
just in this whole topic.

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And then, yeah, got me to
retrain as a nutritionist, then

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retrain as a mental health and
exercise coach.

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But I know I said I didn't want
to send anyone to sleep, but

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there's probably a few, a few
people not enough already.

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No, no, I just want to say I
mean, like, I think that's

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honestly like an inspirational
story.

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Genuinely, I'm not I'm not
exaggerating at all.

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And so many people will be
listening to that, including me,

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honestly and thinking, Oh my, I
see myself in what you've just

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said.
And so it's it's so sad that

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it's the norm in this job,
almost what you said.

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And although I know not everyone
will have a panic attack and go

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down that route you said, but my
goodness me, there are people

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00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:01,920
who will feel stressed and have
chronic stress and it might

251
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:04,640
present in different ways.
And it and the fact it's normal

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for people and hit listening to
your story, I just think that is

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it's insane, isn't it?
Is it, is it your, I mean, this

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00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,160
might be an obvious question,
but is it your experience that

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00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:18,560
you've just come through there
that inspired you to do what you

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00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:22,320
do now and try to stop teachers
getting to that point, which I

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get, you know, like you said, we
call burnout whatever you want

258
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:27,680
to call it.
Yeah, yeah, 100%.

259
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I just, when you know how
something feels and how dreadful

260
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something feels, you don't want
your worst enemy to go through

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it.
And I think that's, again, very

262
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:39,000
cheesy, but that literally is
what gets me out of bed in the

263
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morning, is knowing that there
are people out there

264
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,920
experiencing that and knowing
how awful that can be.

265
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:46,920
It's, it's not cheesy at all.
I was to say that right now.

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I think, I think you're going
to, when people listening to

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00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,840
this are going to have like the
nail hit on the head by what

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you're saying.
And, and I just want to say

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thank you for sharing that with
us because I didn't know that

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00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,960
that much detail about it.
And do you know what?

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It makes so much sense now
seeing your social media page,

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00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:03,120
because I, I flick through it
and I see the posts and I and I,

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00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,880
we'll talk about social media
now, maybe because I don't feel

274
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like there's a lot of genuine,
genuine people out there on

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social media.
I feel like a lot of it is

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showing face trying to say the
right thing because you feel

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like you'll get a reward for
saying the right thing.

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But when I read your stuff and
your posts, and I'd implore

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00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,800
anyone to go and see the
Instagram that we, we said with

280
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:27,200
a link down below, it's, it's
full of really helpful tips that

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00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,000
I look at.
And I think there'll be people

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00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:32,080
who can action that right now.
And, and Hayden, you know, maybe

283
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,120
you can take over because you
were you were thinking about

284
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social media in general and it's
just a bit toxic.

285
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,600
Yeah, it's my thought.
I mean, I saw one of your posts

286
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,720
is what has inspired it, so I
won't get too much into detail

287
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:45,160
about that.
But my thoughts are do you have

288
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:47,720
any tips on on how to navigate
social media?

289
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,320
Because I personally, and I can
just save them, save this from

290
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:53,800
experience.
I get sucked into spending hours

291
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,160
and hours on social media.
Most of that revolves around

292
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:58,480
looking at the perfect world,
you know, like Instagram versus

293
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:01,200
reality, the classic thing.
And and I saw that you did

294
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:04,400
something about how you can, you
know, be in control of that.

295
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,720
Like, what's your advice to
navigating social media?

296
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,720
I mean, first of all, I, I
massively resonate with that and

297
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,800
I, I've struggled with social
media more this year than I ever

298
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:18,400
have before.
And I think it is partly due to

299
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,320
some of the things you really
said, but partly due to the fact

300
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:25,080
that I, I share the posts and
I'll be honest it, I'll spend a

301
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,920
long time on some posts and I'll
really work on it.

302
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:31,280
And they're the posts that don't
tend to be to resonate as much,

303
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,160
whereas the stuff that I just
write and put out there

304
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,080
suddenly, you know, seems to
resonate.

305
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,440
But anyway, I, I, I worked on
something for not a very long

306
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,800
time and put it out there and
it's, it seemed to resonate with

307
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,200
a lot of people.
And it went like quite unquote

308
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:46,160
viral sort of thing.
And, and it was a carousel

309
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:50,000
around kind of some of the, the,
the reasons why teachers are,

310
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,760
are actually so tired.
So around decision fatigue and

311
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:57,080
perpetual patients and creative
fatigue and all, you know,

312
00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:59,400
absorbing others emotions and
all these other reasons that

313
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:02,520
isn't just getting up early and
going, you know, staying late

314
00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:04,920
and stuff.
And, and I put out and then

315
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:08,240
suddenly my, that that
particular platform seemed to

316
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:11,680
grow very quickly overnight.
But ever since then, I've really

317
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:14,760
struggled with social media.
And I think there's a, there's,

318
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:17,360
there's a lot of pressure that
can like if you're a creator, as

319
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,800
they could call you and they put
in that you put in out stuff.

320
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,600
There's a lot of pressure, as
you say, to see the likes and to

321
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,000
see the comments and to get it
quote UN quote right.

322
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,280
And I think that's a lot of
whether you are a creator or

323
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,480
you're just consuming social
media, I think there is a lot of

324
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:32,280
pressure to be right and to get
it right and to not say the

325
00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:33,880
wrong thing and, and everything
else.

326
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,480
So I've really struggled
honestly, the last six months,

327
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:40,120
like I've struggled to, to put
my face on to camera.

328
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:43,880
And I know you, you're amazing
at that, by the way, like watch,

329
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,320
watch all of your stories.
And it's just you just being

330
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,520
yourself, just like just
chatting and.

331
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:50,600
Just that's it, isn't it?
Yeah, I mean, even Dylan said to

332
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,320
me before.
This is hilarious because we had

333
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,520
this conversation honestly when
we were just getting ready what

334
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:55,600
I don't.
Know what you're going to say,

335
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,360
but I was going to say that, you
know, when you started, you were

336
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,120
you'd spend so long trying to
get it perfect 12 takes and try

337
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,400
and do this thing and then when
you when you stop doing that and

338
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:04,360
we're just like, oh, do you know
what?

339
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:06,600
I'm just going to talk as if I'm
talking to me.

340
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:08,080
Then.
Then you just produce loads of

341
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,280
stuff and people start
connecting with it.

342
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:11,240
It's kind of like what you said
about as soon as you were just

343
00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:13,040
like off the Dome.
Just this is how I feel.

344
00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:14,960
This is real.
People just connect with it.

345
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,240
It's almost like they can see
through, can't there?

346
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,080
There's well structured things
and they're like, oh, this must

347
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,000
be an advert or this must be
they're trying to get, they're

348
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,080
trying to get something from me.
It's too structured.

349
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,240
That's what I would say,
Charlie, about your, your social

350
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:26,960
media.
I, I consume it right?

351
00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:30,760
And I think I've got three
things I can action now in my

352
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:32,960
job that I can try and do.
And I think that's why I love it

353
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:34,440
so much.
And I would implore anyone to go

354
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:37,080
and flick through it because
that it could be so easy to fall

355
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:40,080
into that trap of like you said,
whether you're consuming or

356
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:43,440
creating.
I as a consumer, go on and I, I

357
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:46,280
can scroll through 10 things and
I won't remember any of them

358
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:49,600
immediately, right?
Whereas with good content, I

359
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,760
can, it like strikes a chord,
like you said.

360
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:55,440
And as a creator, I want to just
touch on what you said there,

361
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,920
because I suppose I've fallen
into that role of creator now in

362
00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:02,360
terms of I'll be in charge of
the Instagram and for for months

363
00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:04,480
and months, Hayden would say to
me, you must be enjoying it.

364
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,000
And I was like, do you know what
I was at first?

365
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,440
I really was.
And I'm not, I'm not disliking

366
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,920
it now, but at first it was like
a passion project.

367
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:13,760
I'd, I'd think of a funny meme
that would try and make people

368
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,920
laugh.
Our podcast is quite laid back

369
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,480
again, trying to make people
laugh, but talk about stuff that

370
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:20,680
we think everyone wants to talk
about and getting this

371
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,480
interactions really cool.
And again, in the last like two

372
00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:26,520
to three months, I don't know if
you get any of this, but the two

373
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:29,720
things have happened #1 what
you've mentioned now I've

374
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:33,040
started to think instead of just
having an idea and putting out

375
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:36,680
there, I've started with needing
an idea without having 1.

376
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,280
And I said, oh, I need to put
something out there.

377
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,240
What, what can I put that that
would resonate with people?

378
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,080
And that's so backwards because
you're forcing it at that point.

379
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,680
And the second thing is, you
know, as, as you grow more and

380
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:51,400
more people comment stuff, which
isn't very nice and, and, and it

381
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,040
does link back to that as a
consumer.

382
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:56,920
And I just think what I wanted
to throw to you was, and it was

383
00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:02,160
an amazing post again, which was
you posted as a fitness kind of,

384
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,319
I guess someone who's into their
health and trying to help

385
00:17:04,319 --> 00:17:06,319
people.
You have those photos of you

386
00:17:06,319 --> 00:17:09,720
looking in unbelievable shape,
like traditionally, wow, as a,

387
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,119
as a PT, this is what you'd want
to post because people will see

388
00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:13,480
that and be like, I want to work
with you.

389
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:17,200
And your, and your post wasn't
that it wasn't look what you can

390
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,880
get.
It was guys, I felt awful here

391
00:17:20,319 --> 00:17:23,200
and and that seemed to strike a,
a chord of people again.

392
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:26,400
And I just want to throw it back
to you in terms of are you

393
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:29,120
seeing that pay off, you know,
not going down the traditional

394
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:32,520
route of hooking people in and,
and just thinking, oh, what's

395
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,480
going to get eyes on the screen?
Do you feel like it's actually

396
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:38,000
paying off though and building a
base that you want on social

397
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,560
media rather than just getting
numbers?

398
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:45,040
I think I think that this year's
been a weird one for it.

399
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:47,600
It's been a bit of a bit of a
journey, let's say.

400
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:51,440
So when when that post did do
very well, I then slipped into,

401
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,800
if I'm being honest, I slipped
into or I need to make reels

402
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,840
that are this many seconds.
I need to have a hook and I need

403
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:58,920
to do it.
And I've never, I'd like to

404
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,840
think maybe I have done.
I'd like to think that I've

405
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:05,160
never done something that's just
like, look and there's no

406
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:07,360
substance to it.
Like I try my best to always put

407
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:09,320
value and put some substance
behind it.

408
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,720
But there was definitely a
period, probably around the

409
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:15,000
summer time where I was leaning
more towards that hasn't got as

410
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,400
many views, that hasn't got any
likes.

411
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,440
And I would be talking to
someone who's doing quite well

412
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:21,240
about, but what are you doing?
And what I'm seeing is a lot of

413
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:24,760
social media content is that
very surface level stuff.

414
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:26,960
Exactly as you said, it's very
much hook people in.

415
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:31,720
And I, I follow loads of like
comedy based stuff because I

416
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,440
love, you know, who doesn't love
a good laugh and you know, just

417
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:36,960
silly things.
One at the moment is this guy

418
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,240
and he turns terrible Tinder
conversations into songs.

419
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:45,320
I say that it remains it's, it's
it's worried for the human race,

420
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,640
but it's, it's, it's the stuff
that he does.

421
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,080
He's amazing.
But stuff like that.

422
00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:52,080
But what I'm seeing is loads and
loads of people using that.

423
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,760
There's that real tick tock
occasion of Instagram of social

424
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:58,000
media where it's like, you know,
trending audios and trending

425
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,680
reels and memes and stuff, which
again, I, I love personally, but

426
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:03,800
I, I saw someone's, I'm not
going to name names because I

427
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:04,880
don't think that's not
appropriate.

428
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,720
But I saw someone's page
recently and in their bio, it

429
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:11,160
was like well-being advocate,
like voice for well-being and

430
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:12,800
all this stuff.
And this person was a teacher

431
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:16,520
and just, their page was just
just constant like those 3

432
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:20,720
second memes and stuff because
they were going for that sort of

433
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,000
connection.
They were trying to grow their

434
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,520
following and stuff.
And I I went through just out of

435
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:26,800
interest and I couldn't find
anything to do as well-being, I

436
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,840
mean, comedy, having a good
laugh, increasing oxytocin and

437
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:33,920
stuff like that.
But you know, still it's yeah, I

438
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,560
think there's that whole side of
Instagram and social media in

439
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:39,280
general that is very much about
those vanity metrics and things.

440
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:42,840
And I think as a creator, or
even if you're just posting

441
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,760
casually amongst friends, you
know, when that, when that

442
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,480
doesn't happen, you then have
that comparison.

443
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,320
I think that's a big part of
social media is where you start

444
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,520
to subconsciously compare
yourself to other people.

445
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:54,560
And I actually found myself
doing this not so long ago.

446
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,280
I put out a post and it just
flopped for whatever reason.

447
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,000
Just didn't do well.
I thought it was good.

448
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:03,160
It didn't seem to be.
And I found myself within half

449
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,800
an hour on someone who does
something similar to me to what

450
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,440
I do's page, comparing my page
to their page.

451
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,200
What's that about like?
Why does that matter?

452
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,120
Beat yourself while you're down.
Do you know what I mean?

453
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,320
And yeah, we have social media
that there's a lot.

454
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,520
There's a lot that I feel quite
strongly about in terms of how

455
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:21,640
it can basically take our time
and attention away.

456
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,760
And there's a book by a guy
called Johan Harry called Stolen

457
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:28,800
Focus and it talks about some
really scary statistics.

458
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:32,200
And you know, there's, there's
CEOs and, and heads of marketing

459
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,360
from places like Meta and
Facebook and things who have now

460
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:37,960
left and who are coming out and
speaking against the algorithm

461
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:39,680
and speaking against the like
buttons.

462
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,320
Like the fact that the like
share and comment button, I'm

463
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,760
going to get this wrong is based
on an experiment by a guy called

464
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,520
BBF Skinner.
And I think it was something to

465
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,560
do with trying to get rats to
press a button.

466
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,520
And they, I think they, they
either gave the rats food or

467
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:57,160
they gave the rats water laced
with drugs or something.

468
00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:00,400
And they've as to get them to
perform the habit to press the

469
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:03,600
button, they basically tricked
them and they conditioned them

470
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:07,040
to bit like the whole, is it
Pavlovs dogs and the salivating?

471
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:08,800
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That kind of stuff.

472
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:12,000
So literally the buttons that we
press every day is based on an

473
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,000
experiment in rats, non
conditioning and behaviour.

474
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:16,840
And we're here all the time
using it.

475
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,200
So I've got a bit of a bee in my
bonnet about social media at the

476
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:23,040
moment, which I know is very,
very ironic because it's how we

477
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,920
build our platforms.
It's how we share our ideas with

478
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,560
people, people.
So I, I fully appreciate the

479
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:31,160
irony, but the fact that it can
increase that comparison, it can

480
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,200
make us feel pretty rubbish
about our own lives.

481
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,600
You're looking at the perfect
classroom, you're looking at

482
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,720
perfect kids and the perfect
house.

483
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:40,680
And they've got a new car and
Jeanette's in Barbados for the

484
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,720
third time this year because her
husband makes 500 KA year.

485
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,440
And, you know, you're comparing
yourself to the people and

486
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,960
that's increasing cortisol,
stress hormone, that's

487
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:51,360
increasing adrenaline, that's
keeping you amped up.

488
00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:53,920
And but then we can look at like
the impact on sleep and all of

489
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,200
these different things.
So, yeah, screen time in general

490
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:59,520
with social media can I think is
a big problem for us teachers at

491
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:00,720
the moment.
And that's also from what my

492
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,960
clients are telling me, how it's
impacting sleep.

493
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,520
So you mentioned earlier about
like what, what can we do about

494
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,480
it?
I think in terms of breaking the

495
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:11,080
cycle and breaking the habit
because it is a habit for a lot

496
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:14,560
of people.
If I sometimes early, how rude

497
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,000
can I be on this podcast?
Quite rude.

498
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:19,040
Yeah, this isn't that bad.
Sometimes in the morning, I

499
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,120
treat myself to a sit down we
because I'm tired.

500
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,720
As soon as I sit down in the
loop, I'm scrolling social

501
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:26,280
media.
Right.

502
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:27,360
That's me every time, by the
way.

503
00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:29,760
That's not just morning,
morning, noon, night.

504
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:30,960
That's just sit there.
Amazing, isn't?

505
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,880
It when you get to about 25 you
just realise it's great.

506
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:36,280
Comfort, Comfort over
everything.

507
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,920
And, and, and yeah, I find
myself and, and then like even

508
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:43,280
at the gym, like between sets,
I'll, I'll find myself picking

509
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:44,440
up my phone and like, what am I
doing?

510
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:47,280
What's this about?
So I think in terms of tips

511
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:50,520
breaking that cycle, we know
about neuroplasticity as

512
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:53,280
teachers, we know about rewiring
the brain and repetition and,

513
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:56,000
and changing those habits.
So what we can think about is

514
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,320
literally keeping it out of
arm's reach.

515
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:00,320
That's the most simple thing
that you can do.

516
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,480
So if you're watching TV, get,
get rid of it, get it out, get

517
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:06,800
it out the out the room.
If you're charging your phone

518
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:10,440
next to your bed, don't say that
it's your alarm because yet mine

519
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:11,960
is too.
But go and get yourself.

520
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,120
If you're really struggling, get
yourself an alarm clock and

521
00:23:14,120 --> 00:23:15,760
charge your phone outside the
room.

522
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:19,520
Or at the very least charge your
phone across the room so that if

523
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,200
you want to scroll, you've got
to get out of bed to get it

524
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:22,320
because you're not going to do
that.

525
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,240
So we need to think about our
environment and literally

526
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:27,800
cutting the queue's there, the
phone's going to be there.

527
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:30,040
So we can either get rid of the
queue, get rid of the phone, or

528
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:31,840
we can make it really difficult
to pick it up.

529
00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:34,600
And other things you can do is,
you know, there's lots of apps

530
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:37,320
now to help you block certain,
certain apps.

531
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,960
There's even devices where you
can lock your phone away.

532
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:41,880
You haven't seen it on it like
boxes.

533
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,240
And you just have a Yeah, yeah,
there's all.

534
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,440
These sorts of things, I saw one
the other day where it's like a

535
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:50,000
block you put in your fridge and
you scan the block and then it

536
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,600
blocks your phone.
And then you can use it for

537
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,240
emergency stuff, but you can't
go on social media.

538
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,520
And if you want to then access
it, I think you have to go back

539
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,200
to the block that's on your
fridge.

540
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,240
It's just magnetic.
So people put it in the.

541
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,680
Fridge, so it's just like adding
steps basically between the ease

542
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,680
of just like my phone right now
is here, like I can just pick it

543
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:07,760
up because it's right next to
me.

544
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:12,160
But just putting like 123 layers
between that, you suddenly will

545
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,440
realise you're not bothered
about scrolling through social

546
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,720
media anymore because you're
just doing it as a habit in the

547
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:17,960
same way you might do a
different habit.

548
00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:20,520
Yeah, 100%.
And I think we also need to

549
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,640
appreciate how impactful it is
just on your kind of your, your

550
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,720
neurochemistry.
So when we scroll social media,

551
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:30,160
yes, it gives us that adrenaline
and that cortisol, but Corsol's

552
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:33,240
cousin, if you like to call it a
cousin, it is dopamine.

553
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,040
And also scrolling and consuming
social media will increase your

554
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,200
dopamine.
Dopamine being that reward, that

555
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,040
motivated, that drive a
chemical.

556
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:43,840
It is really, really rewarding.
You don't sit there and go, I

557
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:47,240
feel great as if you'd gone and
cleaned the kitchen or gone and

558
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,480
done a workout or gone and done
the food shopping.

559
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:51,960
After those jobs, you're a bit
like, ah, I feel achieved.

560
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:55,200
I feel accomplished, sorry.
Whereas with social media, it's

561
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:58,040
almost like this drip feeding
open through the.

562
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:01,200
Brain So it's a big effort to go
and clean the kitchen or go for

563
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,560
a run or go and do a workout and
then but the reward's good.

564
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:06,320
But then what's easier is just
get your little drip from a

565
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,080
scroll of the thumb.
Because you know what, and I'm

566
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:10,800
going to bring back round to a
point you mentioned quite a

567
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,520
while ago, because I do want to
come back to it is it's

568
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:16,840
willpower and I'm exhausted all
the time.

569
00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:19,880
So for me, it's like I just
don't have the, you know what?

570
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,680
Maybe I could just put my phone
away.

571
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:23,640
Like the other day I was
watching something on TV and I

572
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:24,800
noticed that I kept out of
habit.

573
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:28,240
Honestly, it sounds pathetic.
Every 30 seconds I picked up, I

574
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:31,400
picked up my phone to just look
at it and I was like, what are

575
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:32,640
you doing?
What am I expecting to see?

576
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,680
Like, oh, I'll open Instagram
then because I deleted TikTok

577
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:36,280
because I was like, yeah, delete
TikTok.

578
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:38,360
I'm on Instagram just as much as
I was on TikTok.

579
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:40,480
So it's all, it's all really
like, I think I look at it, I'm

580
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:41,680
like, oh, I'm pathetic.
What's wrong with me?

581
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:45,560
But then also I'm, I'm totally,
totally, totally exhausted and I

582
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,360
don't have the willpower to get
up and go and be in the kitchen

583
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:50,360
or just go for a run and try and
be like, come on, I'm going to

584
00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:52,920
retrain my brain.
So you mentioned earlier about

585
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:57,080
teacher exhaustion and you said
you did a post about like some

586
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,600
tips on or some reasons that I
think it was literally just like

587
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:00,560
why you're so exhausted.
Yeah.

588
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,600
I just want to know now because
I am literally that person.

589
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:05,520
I'm constantly exhausted turn 2,
Todd.

590
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,000
But anyway, I'm always
exhausted.

591
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:08,840
Like why?
What's wrong with me?

592
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,760
Why am I so exhausted all the
time?

593
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:13,520
Yeah.
I think what there are, there

594
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,760
are there are lots of different
reasons we could probably list

595
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:18,520
50, right?
But some of the ones that

596
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:20,640
surprise people are some of the
things like that.

597
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,440
First of all, there's that
decision fatigue.

598
00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:27,360
So if you, if you think of,
again, this isn't particularly

599
00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:30,640
scientific, but if you think of
the brain, if you're thinking of

600
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:33,880
your neurons, sorry.
So your brain cells as little

601
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,040
people.
Again, this would be the least

602
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:38,600
scientific explanation.
We're primary school teachers.

603
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,800
This is what we do, OK?
Little people, little people in

604
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,080
your brain, those little people
have to eat right.

605
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:46,200
So they, they eat glucose,
right?

606
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:48,360
But they also then have to do
the other thing.

607
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:52,080
So the brain knows this, that
they create metabolic waste,

608
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,080
right?
They eat and, and you use them

609
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,280
and they, they poop stuff out.
So the brain has this like clean

610
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,160
up team.
But the problem is, is that for

611
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,920
that clean up team to really do
their job, you actually have to

612
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,360
rest.
Like you actually have to do

613
00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:06,600
nothing.
So that could be going for a

614
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:10,040
walk, that could be meditating,
it could be closing your eyes

615
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:12,880
and listening to music.
It could, it could, it could

616
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:14,240
just be having a like a long
shower.

617
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:18,120
But what this allows your brain
to do is go from the central

618
00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:21,960
executive network, which is like
you're engaged writing, I'm

619
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,400
planning, I'm problem solving,
I'm you're doing something,

620
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:29,800
which is what teachers do 10
hours a day to what we call the

621
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:33,560
default mode network, which is
kind of like your, your, I call

622
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,920
it your passive network.
But it's kind of you're like I

623
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,560
say, you're doing something that
is maybe habitual, like doing

624
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,920
the dishes in the shower,
whatever.

625
00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:44,640
And what this allows your brain
to do is to again, connect the

626
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:49,000
dots, sort of sort your memories
emotionally processed, but it

627
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,440
allows that that clean up crew
time to go round and to clear

628
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:55,640
some there's waste.
So one thing is to connect to

629
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:59,000
that is like decisions, not only
is it say we've like switched on

630
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,120
for 10 hours a day and that
clean up crew's not getting time

631
00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:04,360
to work, but we're making so
many decisions and people, you

632
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:07,480
know, like say like that, that
self talk, if you like, if I'm

633
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:09,680
pathetic, I've got no willpower,
why can't I do this?

634
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:11,240
What's wrong with me that that's
a big one?

635
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,680
What's wrong with me?
And we get this really negative

636
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:16,520
self-image come up because we're
just, you know, really, really

637
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:18,320
tired.
But when it comes to little,

638
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:22,240
seemingly little decisions like
what's for dinner, we then beat

639
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:23,240
ourselves up because we can't
think.

640
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:24,600
I'm getting get McDonald's
again.

641
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:26,200
Okay, yeah, we've all done that.
You.

642
00:28:26,360 --> 00:28:29,320
Make a bad decision, yeah.
Yeah, we've all done that and we

643
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:31,840
beat ourselves up for it.
And that self-image gets

644
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:33,760
consolidated.
And it's almost like James

645
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:36,240
Clear, who wrote Atomic Habits,
talks about casting votes for

646
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,760
identities.
And every time you do something,

647
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:40,840
you're, you're just, you're
showing yourself what kind of

648
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:42,440
person you want to be, what kind
of person you want.

649
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,240
So every time that you have no
willpower, let's just say,

650
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:48,960
because you're just exhausted.
And it's a very human thing.

651
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,760
You're then making decisions
that are reinforcing your

652
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,520
identity, which then leads you
to make more of those decisions.

653
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:58,680
So yeah, a few things.
We, we, we're constantly engaged

654
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:01,280
as teachers.
Our brains, tonnes and tonnes of

655
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,360
decisions.
I saw a post, I don't think

656
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:06,520
anyone can really quantify it,
but it's like we make 1500

657
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:10,040
teachers or a decision, sorry,
as as a teacher or we make more

658
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,880
decisions than a brain surgeon.
There's all those stats out

659
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:14,640
there.
And we, we probably do, let's be

660
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,200
honest, because we're making
decisions.

661
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:18,640
I think I think someone said
it's every 4 seconds.

662
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,600
I read when it's.
About right when I think about

663
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:21,520
my day.
Teaching.

664
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:24,120
I think about teaching.
I'm so engaged in the moment of

665
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,320
teaching, right?
And it is genuinely because I

666
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:27,680
am.
I am like, totally.

667
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:29,440
It's like playing a game that
you're really into, right?

668
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,120
And you're totally absorbed.
I'm like that for six hours a

669
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:34,520
day with kids.
And I'm constantly, constantly

670
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:37,320
assessing and making decisions
about each of the 32 kids in

671
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:38,720
that class.
So it makes sense.

672
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,640
Yeah, 100%.
So you've got those things going

673
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:42,600
on.
You obviously got like that

674
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:45,080
chronic courses, all buildups
have been that stress hormone.

675
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:48,240
Teaching is, I think when people
say teaching is a stressful job,

676
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,160
it's like the understatement of
the century.

677
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:54,440
But you, you are taking on,
you're taking on those

678
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,280
children's emotions.
You're taking on colleagues

679
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:58,520
emotions.
You're taking on, you know, in

680
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:03,520
2024, we're now taking on the
emotions of the family and the

681
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,280
grandparents and this person,
this person.

682
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:09,200
And as a teacher, you are a
teacher, a social worker, a

683
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:12,480
nurse.
Every other job under the sun is

684
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:15,280
condensed and we can get into
the politics of why that is

685
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:18,200
Maybe.
But you're doing all those

686
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:19,600
things.
So you're absorbing all those

687
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:21,960
emotions and that chronic
cortisol build up because you're

688
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:25,640
you're stressed.
And one thing that our brains

689
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,400
are built for is is stress.
So when people say, you know,

690
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:31,360
I'm really stressed, I think
what we mean is I'm chronically

691
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:32,720
stressed and I'm not recovering
enough.

692
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:35,680
Because as humans, our brains
and bodies, we are built to

693
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:39,160
experience stress, which is
great because we go out and we,

694
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:44,240
you know, we fight off a bear
and we then pick some berries or

695
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,640
we build a shelter and it falls
down and that's really annoying.

696
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:49,000
So then we build it up again and
we build a fire in the rain and

697
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,800
we go and hunt an animal and we
run for six hours and all this

698
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:53,720
kind of stuff that we are
literally built to do.

699
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:56,800
But then what we used to do is
we would then go back to our

700
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:58,360
caves or we'd go back to
wherever.

701
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:01,400
And then we would sleep 9 hours
and we'd have a big meal and

702
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,720
we'd sing songs and we'd, we'd
rest, we'd switch off, We

703
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:07,440
wouldn't be on our phones,
obviously, we wouldn't be

704
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:08,920
working.
We wouldn't be worrying about

705
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,960
the children in school.
So stress inherently isn't a

706
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:13,240
negative thing.
It's the fact that we're not

707
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:16,640
resting enough because there's
the equation of stress plus rest

708
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,120
equals growth.
And that might be your muscles

709
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:21,680
in the gym, It might be your
resilience to, to certain

710
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:24,120
emotions.
It might be studying at

711
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:25,960
university to become a teacher
or whatever.

712
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,400
Like when you stress your brain,
you go away, you recover, you

713
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:30,760
come back stronger.
But as teachers, we're we're

714
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:33,200
stuck in that stress, stress,
stress.

715
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:34,880
There's no stress, rest and
growth.

716
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,040
So there's, yeah, there's a lot
of a lot of factors that play

717
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:39,120
into it.
There's a few others.

718
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:41,000
Physically, it's exhausting.
Like a lot of people are on

719
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,680
their feet for hours upon hours
of the day.

720
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:44,200
I think that's understated, by
the way.

721
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:47,320
I think, I think that's
something that in general, even

722
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,480
teachers themselves don't
necessarily think about because

723
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:51,800
we're so focused on.
Yeah, we're stressed.

724
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:54,040
Could we feel it here?
You're right.

725
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,840
Like when I, when I finish the
day of teaching, I, I sit down

726
00:31:56,840 --> 00:32:01,040
and I realise, I almost then
realise I'm exhausted and, and

727
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:03,200
do you see that a lot of
teachers where they kind of

728
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:05,080
don't even think about that.
We've got to tell them you are

729
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:08,080
exhausted physically as well.
Yeah, 100%.

730
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:10,600
And it's almost that some people
call it fight or flight.

731
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:12,680
And I think that's a little bit
overused.

732
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:15,240
You know, a lot of time we're
not actually in that true

733
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:17,720
sympathetic nervous system.
We're not actually in fight or

734
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,920
flight and, but we are
definitely approaching it and

735
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:24,200
we, we, we do run on adrenaline.
We run on coffee and cortisol

736
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,400
and adrenaline, right, is what
we're fuelled by.

737
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:29,760
And when you are running on
adrenaline, your, your world

738
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:33,080
sort of shrinks a little bit.
And when you're, when you are in

739
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,360
fight or flight, your vision
literally does this, which is

740
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:38,360
why going outside and expanding
your field of vision can really

741
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:42,280
help increase serotonin, you
know, peaceful, calm, contented

742
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:44,120
chemical and then decrease cool
stuff.

743
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:47,480
So literally go outside and just
look at, look at an expansive

744
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:50,560
space and you'll literally feel,
I feel less stressed in that

745
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,200
moment.
You know what I love about this,

746
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,440
this chat in general, I'm just
going to reflect on it now.

747
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:57,400
Like our listeners might be,
you're saying so much stuff that

748
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,920
people might have heard before,
but the reason I'm so engrossed

749
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,960
and really loving this talk
right now is because you're

750
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,360
explaining it as well.
You know, like it's so common

751
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,520
for someone to say, go outside
and I'll say it.

752
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:11,360
I'll say go outside, go outside
at lunchtime, go outside.

753
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:14,200
And I'm like, if they ever asked
me why, I'd just be like,

754
00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:17,920
because that's what people say.
But what I love, what I love

755
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:20,360
about what you do, Charlie, is
you know what you're talking

756
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,880
about and you back it up with
because of that, like you said,

757
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:24,720
your video, you're in fight or
flight, your visions going to be

758
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,760
this helps you and the idea of
the cortisol build up.

759
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:30,640
And I'm hoping what people are
getting from this listening is,

760
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:33,720
you know, the big thing I'm
going to take from it is the

761
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:38,080
idea that stress is a good thing
because I never even

762
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,440
contemplated that.
And it makes so much sense when

763
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,960
you just break it down.
We're we're wired to feel

764
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:45,120
stress.
That's why after thousands of

765
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,080
years of evolution, we still
feel stress is because it can

766
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:51,360
help us in certain situations.
Like you said, when we're

767
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:53,120
fighting off a bit, of course
we're going to feel stressed at

768
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:54,440
that spot at that point.
That's normal.

769
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:58,320
But breaking the cycle and
having rest, it's like, yeah,

770
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:00,640
that is something we can say to
our listers and our teachers

771
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:02,680
right now.
We can say, God, This is why,

772
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:05,680
because if you don't have that
break from stress, you're going

773
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:07,840
to feel it.
I personally, I don't know how

774
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:10,560
it obviously, I know Charlie,
you built up to the point where

775
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:12,520
you what you mentioned earlier
about having your panic attack.

776
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:16,840
I, I, I don't feel like I've got
to that point, but I feel like

777
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:20,239
my body displays stress in a
physical way.

778
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:24,280
So I will know I'm stressed.
And I think what you're saying

779
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,159
is, you know, chronically
stressed because I'm always

780
00:34:26,159 --> 00:34:27,920
stressed.
At some point I will know when

781
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:31,080
I'm reaching chronic stress
because I get, you know, severe

782
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,920
heartburn.
My chest hurts and, and, and

783
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:38,400
I've got to the point now in my
career where I think I know that

784
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:41,280
something's building up and
getting into a bad place because

785
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:44,159
of my physical reaction.
And I can't see the hints and

786
00:34:44,159 --> 00:34:46,280
the tips and, and the idea
before that.

787
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:49,600
So what, what I basically want
to put back to you is when

788
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:52,600
you're working with a teacher
who feels this stress, do you

789
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:55,920
feel like, do you find that it's
quite individual or are there

790
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,440
also just this blanket things
you can say to everyone?

791
00:34:58,440 --> 00:34:59,720
Like what?
What's your process with

792
00:34:59,720 --> 00:35:02,960
someone?
Yeah, I mean, 100% I I always

793
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:06,320
give the most annoying answer,
which is it just depends.

794
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:08,680
Yeah, exactly.
It's not an answer, but yeah,

795
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:10,360
it's really, really annoying.
But it just.

796
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,800
Yeah.
But like, if if I take one of

797
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:16,720
you guys and I compare you to my
client Sarah, actually, no,

798
00:35:16,720 --> 00:35:19,800
let's pick someone else.
If I compare you to my client,

799
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:22,560
Sam, Right.
She doesn't have she doesn't

800
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:26,840
have any children at the moment,
doesn't have a partner at the

801
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:29,080
moment, works in different
school to you is a different age

802
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:32,720
to you different gender life
experience different like you

803
00:35:32,720 --> 00:35:37,080
are completely different people.
So if I was to say to Sam to

804
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:40,600
give some perspective shifts or
some options to Sam and talk her

805
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:43,160
and coach her through it, it
would be completely different to

806
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:44,720
what I might talk to you guys
about.

807
00:35:44,720 --> 00:35:48,000
And I think that is so, so
important because you do go back

808
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,640
to social media very quickly.
We live in a world where people

809
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:54,800
have very limited time, very
limited headspace, very limited

810
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:57,240
bandwidth.
So we are living in this world

811
00:35:57,240 --> 00:36:00,880
of ultra fast information and we
have more information than ever,

812
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:02,280
which is actually becoming a
problem.

813
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:05,760
I feel for people's well-being
and everything is so black and

814
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:07,760
white, pigeonholed and
categorised because that's how

815
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:11,520
you get views on a story and say
right, you stress, well it kind

816
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:14,320
of depends and I would spend 10
minutes talking about why it

817
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:15,720
depends.
No one's watching that.

818
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:18,600
Whereas if I come on and say,
put it to a nutrition

819
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,640
perspective, sugar is killing
you, your cereal is really bad,

820
00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:24,000
bad for you.
You know, you've got to eat eggs

821
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:27,320
for every meal.
You know, I'm still, I saw, I

822
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:29,400
saw a diet the other day that
where you're not allowed to

823
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:30,680
drink water.
And I just thought, what's?

824
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:32,720
Oh stop the planet, I want to
get off.

825
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:34,280
Yeah, we've reached the end
point if that's.

826
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:36,480
If that's what it's been, but
it's.

827
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:38,880
By the way, guys, have you ever
tried not eating?

828
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,240
Wow.
OK, It's like, come on.

829
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:45,240
Geez, it's honestly bad.
It's these, these, these, it's,

830
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:46,760
they're not even sound bites
anymore.

831
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:47,920
They're shorter than sound
bites.

832
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:51,840
So yeah, this is the thing, you
know, health, well-being,

833
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:54,120
whatever it is, where it's your
nutrition, your sleep, your

834
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,320
mental health, yourself image,
whatever.

835
00:36:56,880 --> 00:37:00,320
It's so much more complex
because we are complex.

836
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:03,080
It's all simple on paper.
You know, for example, take

837
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:04,880
weight loss, calories in versus
calories out.

838
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:06,840
Yeah, cool.
But what about someone's

839
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:08,560
relationship with food?
What about how someone's

840
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:09,960
sleeping?
What about someone's menstrual

841
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,240
cycle?
What about, you know, so yeah,

842
00:37:12,240 --> 00:37:14,160
sorry, I'm kind of going off a
tangent here, but no, you're

843
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:15,480
worried basically it it does
depend.

844
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:18,360
However, I think there are some
some common themes with

845
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:21,760
particularly with teachers.
As teachers, we, again, I'd

846
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:23,680
never want to tell someone how
they feel or what they

847
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:25,520
experience because that's so
individual.

848
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:29,080
But going just from me, going
from all the, the teachers I

849
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,320
work with, what I tend to see is
that we're very, very hard on

850
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:33,480
ourselves.
We do set very, very high

851
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:36,440
expectations.
We can sometimes be a bit

852
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:39,440
impatient in terms of results.
I think that's humans in

853
00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:41,280
general.
But I think as teachers, we are

854
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:44,480
constantly told you get that
child from working towards to

855
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:47,080
greater depth within two weeks
and you've got the right of

856
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:48,600
motivation.
How are you going to do this?

857
00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:53,160
We're told to to do five years
of progress in five weeks.

858
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:56,800
And I do think that that the
term time constraints where we

859
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,560
are on a 6-8 week countdown
constantly.

860
00:37:59,920 --> 00:38:02,760
All of that I feel sometimes
feeds into a bit of impatience.

861
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:06,040
Plus we use all our patience
from the children and their

862
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,520
parents and our colleagues and
everyone else.

863
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:12,080
There are a few things.
So I think starting small is

864
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,280
good.
And that's really uncomfortable

865
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:17,960
for teachers because we, we, we
want to do a 10 out of 10 job.

866
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:20,960
But actually what happens is we
do a 10 out of 10 for a Monday,

867
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,160
Tuesday, it kind of falls off by
the Wednesday.

868
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:27,400
Whereas if we were to say right,
OK, I'm a zero, let's do it 2

869
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,240
out of 10 for a fortnight.
Cool.

870
00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:31,160
I'm gonna wake up and have a
glass of water.

871
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:33,400
I'm gonna put an apple in my bag
and actually eat it.

872
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:35,640
I took the Mickey out of my
partner because she's got two

873
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:39,480
satsumas that literally they go
out for a day trip and then they

874
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,600
come back again.
I end up throwing faces on them

875
00:38:41,720 --> 00:38:44,720
and give them the names because
like, yeah.

876
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:46,640
You're just exposing me.
I hate this.

877
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:49,560
Like my Apple described, Hayden,
My apple does that every day.

878
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:51,200
It goes, goes, goes to school
with me.

879
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:52,720
Oh, it comes back, goes back in
the thing.

880
00:38:52,720 --> 00:38:55,680
But something Charlie said
there, which Hayden we've spoken

881
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:58,400
about a million times, maybe we
can go in a bit more detail, is

882
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:03,240
that idea of setting the bar way
too high and, and that idea of,

883
00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:05,920
well, do you know what?
If I'm not going to become Mo

884
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:09,200
Farah overnight with my running,
why would I bother going out and

885
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:12,640
trying even to fail?
And you, you've talked about

886
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:15,320
this Hayden before, where you,
you, you just, you want to be

887
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:17,160
amazing at stuff straight away.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

888
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:20,200
And I get and I get frustrated.
I and I know you're the same.

889
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:22,320
We're both very much and it's
terrible.

890
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:25,040
I'm embarrassed by this mindset
of unless I'm going to be

891
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,480
negative self talk here, no, but
it is because I want to change.

892
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:29,320
I need to change this.
But my mindset of a lot of

893
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:32,080
things is unless I'm the best of
it, I don't want to do it then.

894
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:33,600
And it's really bad.
And that's the same way.

895
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:35,840
And I think that does boil down
to even those smaller decisions,

896
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:37,920
you know, like you thought you
were saying, like, I don't want

897
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:40,480
to cook dinner because it's not
going to be the best dinner.

898
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:42,160
So I'll get a takeaway.
It's like, well, hang on.

899
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:43,920
There was probably a middle
ground there that was

900
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:45,320
considerably better than, better
than.

901
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:46,880
Yeah, well, it might have been
like a 10 out of 10 healthy

902
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:48,440
meal, but at least it's
homemade.

903
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:50,760
And yeah, OK, you use something
which might not be ideal, like a

904
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:53,600
sauce from a jar instead of make
it, but that's still better than

905
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,080
the McDonald's.
Right, Yeah, exactly.

906
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:57,320
And exercise, like I kind of
want to talk about exercise

907
00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:01,880
maybe now or soon, but like I
don't since we since we had our

908
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,560
children, I say we as if we had
the same child, we had some

909
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:06,440
children around the same time
and since we had.

910
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:09,760
With our children around the
same time I've I've genuinely

911
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:12,560
done no, I've done no exercise,
no high intensity exercise.

912
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:14,600
Obviously, like you said, I'm
walking around the class and all

913
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:15,960
day.
I get my steps up at school

914
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:19,200
where I'm just constantly
moving, but I haven't done any

915
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:22,880
high intensity exercise in a in
a year now And I and it does

916
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:24,760
really worry me.
I'm starting to get stressed

917
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:26,600
annoyingly, another layer of
stress.

918
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:29,760
I'm getting stressed at the fact
that I'm not now doing exercise

919
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:32,240
like I just, I just I feel very
lost.

920
00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:34,520
So talking to you is really nice
because I'm I'm starting to fit

921
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,160
like little quick wins.
For example, you made me realise

922
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:39,880
I don't even I don't even rest
because when I rest, when I'm

923
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:44,200
resting, quote unquote, I'm on
social media like it's not even

924
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:45,560
resting, is it?
That's what you're that's what

925
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,200
you're saying is like that's not
true.

926
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:48,840
Resting like meditation would be
much better.

927
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:51,600
But anyway, back to exercise.
What what do you have any any

928
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,680
advice on?
Like just breaking that first

929
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:57,000
boundary then and not?
Doing nothing.

930
00:40:57,480 --> 00:41:00,120
Yeah, I think this is good.
And this, this goes to answer

931
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:02,280
that that question from before,
like what, what advice would you

932
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:03,600
give?
So let's talk about like

933
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:05,800
lowering the expectations we've
talked about then kind of

934
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:08,600
starting small, you know, so
that both of those things would

935
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:10,800
apply, apply to exercise, I
think as well.

936
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:14,440
Like just from what you said
there, you're a parent, right?

937
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:17,040
I'm not a parent yet.
And I know my partner

938
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:18,880
desperately wants it to be part
of our future.

939
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,400
Hopefully it can happen because
again, you, you never know these

940
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:23,280
things.
I've learned a lot of lessons

941
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:27,680
well through working with
teachers and clients of you

942
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:29,640
never comment on someone's body,
you never comment on what

943
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:33,320
someone's eating and you don't
comment on children and families

944
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:34,640
because some people don't want
them.

945
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:36,760
Some people do, and sadly, some
people can't have them.

946
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:40,080
So I'm very much aware that it
might be part of our future.

947
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,160
It might not be, but hopefully
it will.

948
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:47,600
And if it is, then I just want
to say I have the most, you

949
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:52,080
know, outstanding admiration for
parents because it it's, it's a

950
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:55,520
full, it's two full time jobs in
one plus you then you've got

951
00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:57,480
teaching, which is like two or
three full time jobs.

952
00:41:57,480 --> 00:41:59,400
So you're kind of doing like
like full time jobs here.

953
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:03,320
You're clocking them up.
You've got this.

954
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:05,960
So I think self compassion is
what I'm getting at.

955
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:07,360
Self compassionate, right,
right.

956
00:42:07,720 --> 00:42:10,720
I'm not who I used to be, you
know, and hopefully you feel

957
00:42:10,720 --> 00:42:13,320
like you're in a, in a happier
chapter of life than, you know,

958
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:15,160
kind of move.
Things are moving the way you

959
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:16,880
want and life is how you want it
to be.

960
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:19,560
But that means that things,
certain things change.

961
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,440
And I don't think that sacrifice
is necessarily the right word

962
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:25,720
because it makes it sound like a
real negative, but things are

963
00:42:25,720 --> 00:42:27,280
different.
Things are just different.

964
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,840
And you know, for me, taking
that social media example,

965
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:33,400
things are different now in
November than where they were in

966
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:34,960
March.
And life's different and

967
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:37,760
business is different and
coaching is different.

968
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:40,320
And I think when you're thinking
about this changed back to

969
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:44,080
exercise and trying to move it
back towards that knowing and

970
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:46,480
just being compassionate of
Kate, life isn't where it was

971
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:49,720
and I don't have the energy and
what the human brain will do.

972
00:42:49,720 --> 00:42:52,280
We have this really fun thing
and safe fun.

973
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,280
Sarcastically, it's called the
negativity bias.

974
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,680
We have unbelievable amounts of
biases.

975
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:01,040
We have cognitive dissonance.
We have confirmation bias.

976
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:04,440
We have negativity bias.
Loads of things actually turning

977
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:06,680
back to stress can make things
quite difficult for us.

978
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:09,520
So what will happen with this
negativity bias?

979
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:11,720
It will drive you towards things
that are, it will drive your

980
00:43:11,720 --> 00:43:14,480
attention Once Upon a time.
It's there to keep you alive, to

981
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:16,360
keep you safe.
Because if you go out into the

982
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,920
woods and you're smelling the
roses instead of looking out for

983
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:21,200
the bear, the bear's going to
beat you and you're not going to

984
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,480
pass your jeans on.
So we developed, we evolved to

985
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:25,400
have this inherent negativity
bias.

986
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:29,240
So we always spot the negative
over the positive always, which

987
00:43:29,240 --> 00:43:31,160
is where things like gratitude
stuff can come in.

988
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:34,040
But what will happen with this
negativity bias is it will make

989
00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:35,920
you focus on things that are
outside your control.

990
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:39,720
So with the exercise example, I
don't have the energy, I don't

991
00:43:39,720 --> 00:43:40,840
have the morning routine I used
to.

992
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:42,240
I don't know.
I can't, I can't, I can't, I

993
00:43:42,240 --> 00:43:43,280
can't.
And we will.

994
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,200
We'll, we'll, we'll do it.
We'll focus on the reasons we

995
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,120
can't.
So what I'm saying is get to the

996
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:50,680
things that you can.
So can it be literally?

997
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:52,600
And it sounds ridiculous and
people won't do this because

998
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:56,600
they feel they feel it will be
so insignificant, but can it be?

999
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,560
You put your shoes in the car,
your trainer's in the car.

1000
00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:01,920
And after work, you put your
trainers on and you go for a

1001
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:03,840
walk.
And on that walk, you see two

1002
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:05,800
lampposts and you say, right,
I'm going to jog between those

1003
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:09,040
two lampposts, which might be
like 15 seconds, say.

1004
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:11,360
And then you walk the next
lamppost and then you jog the

1005
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:12,600
next one and you walk the next
one.

1006
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,680
And before you know it, you've
done 5 or 10 minutes movement.

1007
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:19,480
You've increased your heart
rate, you started to to get

1008
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:21,960
those muscles working and you
started to actually build up

1009
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,840
your cardiovascular system.
And if you were to, people won't

1010
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:26,440
do it because.
They they think it won't make a

1011
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:29,720
difference if you were to do
that twice a week, that walk,

1012
00:44:29,720 --> 00:44:33,000
run, walk, run lamppost thing
twice a week for a month.

1013
00:44:33,720 --> 00:44:36,440
By the end of the month, you're
you're a runner, you're running

1014
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,760
for 10 minutes and then you're
running 5K by by the end of

1015
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:42,600
2020.
I don't know, a bit too soon by

1016
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:45,680
the end of January.
What I'm saying is folks, what

1017
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:48,040
you can control, try and look
for the really, really small

1018
00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:49,960
wins and just lower that by
expectation.

1019
00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:54,640
I would honestly say going out
for a walk will will be the

1020
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:56,320
spark that then gets other
things going.

1021
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:59,240
I think almost every client I've
ever coached, if they if they're

1022
00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:01,120
now in the gym or if they're
swimming or if they're doing

1023
00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:03,400
yoga or if they're working out
at home, it's because they've

1024
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:04,920
started with with a 5 minute
walk.

1025
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:07,480
I'll give you another example.
I was on a coaching call with a

1026
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:11,760
client on Tuesday and she was
really, she's really struggling

1027
00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:14,000
with her at the moment with her,
she's changed jobs loads, new

1028
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,120
responsibilities, new role, lots
of stress.

1029
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,400
There's lots of things going on
in her personal life and she's

1030
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:21,760
been struggling to to get some
movement, some morning movement

1031
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:23,440
in and she knows it makes her
feel really good.

1032
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:25,320
And this is going to sound
ridiculous again.

1033
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:27,160
People are just going to think
what's the point?

1034
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:31,200
But what we're doing is she's
going to leave her flat, she is

1035
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:35,920
going to walk to her car, which
is like A10 metre walk, walk to

1036
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:37,920
a car.
She's going to unlock it and put

1037
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:39,520
a bag in.
She's going to unlock it again

1038
00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:42,120
and she's going to walk 30
seconds away from her car,

1039
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:45,400
timing it on her phone, turn
around and walk 30 seconds back

1040
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:47,600
to her car because that's a
minute of walking.

1041
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:50,480
And then she's then going to
walk away from her car for a

1042
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:51,560
minute.
And we're going to build this up

1043
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:54,480
and build this up.
So over the rest of this half

1044
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:57,000
term, by the time she gets the
Christmas holidays, she's going

1045
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:58,880
to be doing a fifth.
Well, we haven't actually worked

1046
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:02,040
out the mass, but she's going to
be doing like a 1520 minute walk

1047
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:05,720
most mornings because we decided
one of the things was that she

1048
00:46:05,720 --> 00:46:08,920
keeps snoozing her alarm.
So we need to acknowledge that

1049
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:12,200
if that is a barrier, what, Even
if she snoozes her alarm, what

1050
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:14,640
can she do at the moment?
She can afford.

1051
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:17,080
Even if she's late, she can
afford to be late by an extra

1052
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:19,640
minute by walking away from the
car for 30 seconds and going

1053
00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:20,200
back.
Yeah.

1054
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:22,120
And this all sounds ridiculous,
I know.

1055
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:24,040
It doesn't doesn't no, it
doesn't it.

1056
00:46:24,240 --> 00:46:27,400
Doesn't it's really helpful
because it's about the as we

1057
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:29,160
know with neuroplasticity in
building habits, it's about the

1058
00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:31,440
repetition.
It's not about the intensity,

1059
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:33,240
it's about the frequency.
Yeah, right.

1060
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:35,440
So it's not small.
It makes sense.

1061
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:38,880
The, the, the I'm, I'm on board
with you because honestly, if

1062
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:42,000
you'd said that to me about a
year ago or two years ago, I

1063
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:43,840
probably would have thought,
yeah, it does sound ridiculous,

1064
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:46,160
right?
But that the only reason that

1065
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:49,240
sounds ridiculous is the mindset
that we are currently stuck in,

1066
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:52,960
which is unless you're going for
1/2 an hour jog before you get

1067
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:55,080
in your car in the morning,
what's a minute going to do?

1068
00:46:55,240 --> 00:46:57,240
And you, you've perfectly
explained what a minute does.

1069
00:46:57,240 --> 00:46:59,880
So everyone's listening to this
thinking, I do nothing.

1070
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:03,120
I do literally nothing.
There is absolutely nothing out

1071
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:05,640
there that can't convince me
that a minute walk isn't better

1072
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:08,080
than a 0 minute walk.
And once you do a minute walk,

1073
00:47:08,240 --> 00:47:09,840
why wouldn't it turn into a 2
minute walk?

1074
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:11,920
A 3 minute walk.
That's the allure for me.

1075
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:13,480
I mean, that's where you've
really got my mind.

1076
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:14,640
You've clicked.
I've just clicked now.

1077
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:16,920
It's not about the minute walk.
It's about the fact that it

1078
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:19,160
unlocks the two-minute walk and
it's about the fact that that

1079
00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:20,320
then unlocks the three minute
walk.

1080
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:21,480
It's the butterfly effect, isn't
it?

1081
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:23,680
I can see that and it works.
And I get that because I'm a

1082
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:25,360
teacher and I do have kids all
the time, like.

1083
00:47:25,720 --> 00:47:27,840
Why do I not you know?
This, this is the point I wanted

1084
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:30,120
to make right now.
I don't know, having worked with

1085
00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:32,360
teachers, Charlie and being a
teacher and our partners are all

1086
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:34,480
teachers as well.
The thing that strikes me the

1087
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:37,040
most about this whole health
well-being, looking after

1088
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:41,640
yourself is our entire job and
our like purpose in life is to

1089
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:44,680
look after other people and help
them and see them develop and

1090
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:47,560
watch them go from A to B in the
best way possible.

1091
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:49,760
That's also good for their
well-being that keeps them safe,

1092
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,800
that makes them happy.
We are experts at doing that.

1093
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:56,160
But when it comes to doing it to
ourselves and seeing ourselves

1094
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:57,760
as a human being, that's
worthwhile.

1095
00:47:58,200 --> 00:47:59,880
Hayden.
Hayden would never say to a

1096
00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:02,000
child in this class, oh, that's
pathetic.

1097
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,600
That's pathetic that you can't,
that you can't do your own.

1098
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:06,760
You make your own healthy life.
That's what do you mean you

1099
00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:08,120
can't put a front of the verb on
our sentence.

1100
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:09,440
We've just practised it.
That's awful.

1101
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:12,320
You're an awful human being.
Do you find that with teachers

1102
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:15,440
we have like, this huge
disparity, as much as I see it,

1103
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:17,640
in terms of how you treat other
people and how you treat

1104
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:21,040
yourself?
Oh yes, this is.

1105
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:23,600
I've been so fascinated with
this recently.

1106
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:27,640
I've been doing a lot of reading
around it and I've written a few

1107
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:30,280
posts about it and stuff because
this is me in a nutshell.

1108
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:33,000
This is exactly what one of my
big barriers were.

1109
00:48:34,320 --> 00:48:36,760
I might go on a rant that
tangent here, so maybe this will

1110
00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:42,680
be split into two episodes, but
essentially the thing that I'm

1111
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,080
finding fascinating at the
moment is this.

1112
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:48,040
Like say this disparity between
the worth and the value and the

1113
00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:51,480
respect we give and put on
others and the same with

1114
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:53,920
ourselves and the value and
everything.

1115
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:57,800
So what I find is that for a lot
of teachers, they do see it.

1116
00:48:57,800 --> 00:48:59,480
Again, never want to tell
someone how they're feeling.

1117
00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:02,600
But from what I can see, a lot
of teachers struggle to put

1118
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:06,120
themselves first because they
don't feel deserving of it or

1119
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:10,000
they have they don't feel like
they are worthy of their time

1120
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:11,560
and that others are more worthy
than them.

1121
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:13,960
So then we get into the the
whole realms and the discussion

1122
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:16,000
of like self worth and self
respect.

1123
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:17,840
I think self respect always
sounds quite aggressive.

1124
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:20,080
You know, it sounds quite, I
think it sounds quite sort of

1125
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:22,560
like you have no self respect.
I don't know.

1126
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:25,000
But self worth, let's call it
that.

1127
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:26,880
And it's the way that you see
yourself.

1128
00:49:27,240 --> 00:49:29,040
And I love the analogy, not the
analogy.

1129
00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:33,000
I love the phrase sorry of it's
self first, not selfish.

1130
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:36,800
And actually by putting yourself
first sometimes and again,

1131
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:39,920
particularly as parents and
carers, but but for everyone,

1132
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:42,400
you can't always put yourself
first.

1133
00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:45,120
You know, you just can't.
Let's be realistic about it.

1134
00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:47,840
But in the moments where you
again, negativity bias, looking

1135
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:50,640
for what you can control, in the
moments where you can by putting

1136
00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:54,080
yourself first, you are casting
a ripple into a pond, which

1137
00:49:54,080 --> 00:49:56,080
never stops.
It's the butterfly effect.

1138
00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:58,720
You go for that.
My client's going to go for that

1139
00:49:58,720 --> 00:50:01,640
32nd away from her car, 32nd
back to her car walk.

1140
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:06,240
And that again, might seem far
fetched, but that is going to

1141
00:50:06,240 --> 00:50:08,360
ripple effect throughout the
entire community.

1142
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:12,360
And I, I genuinely believe that.
And maybe not that particular

1143
00:50:12,360 --> 00:50:16,320
32nd walk, but the fact that she
has shown herself and like we

1144
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:19,000
said earlier, James Clear's
casting votes, she's she's cast

1145
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,920
a vote that she matters.
And I know some people might

1146
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:24,960
listen to this and go, oh, this
is a bit too feely insensitive

1147
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:27,440
for me.
But actually, we all, we all

1148
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:29,800
have these feelings, right?
We, we all, we all experience

1149
00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:32,080
this, whether we know it or not.
For most of us, it's on a

1150
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:33,760
subconscious level.
And it definitely was for me.

1151
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:37,600
But casting that vote that you
matter and doing something as

1152
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:42,160
small as a 32nd walk or eating
your lunch without marking.

1153
00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:44,560
And again, each their own.
You know, at times I would mark

1154
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:47,200
and eat so that I could go home
earlier and and beat the family

1155
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:48,840
and some for some people, that's
what they want to do.

1156
00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:50,600
Not going to tell people how to
live their lives.

1157
00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:54,240
But if you decide that, okay,
I'm, I'm, I'm not going to work

1158
00:50:54,240 --> 00:50:56,080
and eat, I'm just going to eat
my lunch and I'm going to watch

1159
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:59,680
the squirrels out the window or
the rain or snow apparently in

1160
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:03,320
November at the moment.
Like I'm just going to be, you

1161
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:05,880
know, try and have that default
mode network brain break sort of

1162
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:07,080
thing.
That is you.

1163
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:09,840
You're not the same as the run
and everything.

1164
00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:14,200
You're not just saying, OK, I'm
going to eat my lunch and I'm

1165
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:16,400
going to digest it a bit better.
I'm not going to feel fuller

1166
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:18,240
because my brain's actually
clocking what I'm eating.

1167
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:21,320
You're saying that you matter
and I don't know how I got on

1168
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:24,280
this point.
However, what what I think is

1169
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:26,640
that it's important for us to
acknowledge that when we, when

1170
00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:29,520
we do put ourselves first, we
cast that stone into the pond.

1171
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:32,400
The ripples then go out and it
will benefit you.

1172
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:34,960
It will, it will benefit how you
show up for the children.

1173
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:37,800
You'll have more patience.
You will feel like you have done

1174
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:40,280
something for yourself and you
will be a better version of

1175
00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:41,640
yourself for everyone around
you.

1176
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:44,440
So although it feels very, very
selfish to put yourself first,

1177
00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:48,400
you might feel undeserving of
that at the moment, actually,

1178
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:51,080
not just knowing the back of
your mind that it, it's, it's

1179
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:54,480
actually quite selfless.
And this kind of takes me back

1180
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:56,400
full circle to to the self worth
thing.

1181
00:51:56,920 --> 00:51:59,720
I just for me personally,
because this is quite deep.

1182
00:51:59,720 --> 00:52:02,360
So I'll, I'll just talk about
myself in in this situation.

1183
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:06,120
But I found that I was wearing,
you hear quite a lot in teaching

1184
00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:08,000
about that busy badge of honour
and all that kind of stuff.

1185
00:52:08,040 --> 00:52:10,320
And I was, I was wearing that
stress.

1186
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:16,040
That stress was like a a cloak,
a gown that I draped over myself

1187
00:52:16,040 --> 00:52:19,200
that I was so proud to wear.
And I'd say to my friends, can't

1188
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:21,000
come to the pub tonight, they
thank you.

1189
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:22,440
I've got marketing to do
actually.

1190
00:52:23,240 --> 00:52:24,840
And the books won't even stay in
my car.

1191
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:27,520
But you know, I'm there thinking
about marking at least on a

1192
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:31,800
Friday night.
And for me, it was because I

1193
00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:34,520
didn't feel deserving.
I didn't feel like I deserved my

1194
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:38,560
own time and attention.
And actually by me being self,

1195
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:42,920
by me almost projecting and
pretending to be selfless by

1196
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:45,360
putting people first is what I'm
getting at.

1197
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:48,280
So you know, I've got to do my
marking.

1198
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:52,000
I've got to go and sort that
thing out at lunchtime.

1199
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:54,360
I'll say yes to that club.
I'm selfless, I'm selfless.

1200
00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:56,960
I'm giving.
I'm giving for me, just me

1201
00:52:56,960 --> 00:53:01,600
personally, I was actually
trying to avoid the discomfort

1202
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:04,160
of saying no to people.
And I was trying to make myself

1203
00:53:04,160 --> 00:53:06,520
feel better.
And I was attaching myself worth

1204
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:09,320
to my job.
So when you look at it that way,

1205
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:12,320
was I actually being selfless or
was I actually being very, very

1206
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:14,560
selfish because I was, I was
giving to others.

1207
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:16,840
But really, if I'm being honest,
it wasn't always for others.

1208
00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:18,440
It was because it made me feel
good, right?

1209
00:53:18,640 --> 00:53:19,680
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.

1210
00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:22,480
You know, I mean, it made me
feel like I'm being productive.

1211
00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:25,200
It made me feel worthy.
I could then say that, you know,

1212
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:27,240
I'm the teacher who's always
stressed and I'm, I'm always

1213
00:53:27,240 --> 00:53:30,360
rushing around.
It's just for me again.

1214
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:33,960
Yeah, I know that might not sit
land well with some people, but

1215
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:38,400
for me, I was being very, very
selfish by being so selfless.

1216
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:40,080
Yeah.
Which is a really weird way to

1217
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:41,360
think about it.
I get.

1218
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:44,080
It back back to the pond, you
know, cast that stone and the

1219
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:46,320
ripples will will positively
impact people around you.

1220
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:47,720
Yeah.
I mean, the crux of that as

1221
00:53:47,720 --> 00:53:50,000
well, I think a lot of people
use this kind of, you've gone

1222
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:52,320
into much more detail, but the
analogy I always hear is if you

1223
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:54,200
don't put yourself first, you're
not actually going to be be

1224
00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:56,440
ironically as good as a teacher
as you think you are.

1225
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:59,120
If you're constantly, constantly
exhausted because you're oh, I'm

1226
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:01,400
so selfless, you're actually
like, you're potentially not

1227
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:04,080
even going to be as good as you
would be if you, if you actually

1228
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:05,680
yourself first.
Like we've discussed before,

1229
00:54:06,080 --> 00:54:08,400
about like a long time ago, we
were talking about if we were

1230
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:11,720
leading a school.
My mantra is very much, and I

1231
00:54:11,720 --> 00:54:13,880
think this is a bit
controversial really, is put the

1232
00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:15,040
teachers first.
Genuinely.

1233
00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:17,440
I've always said if I was going
to run a school, my teachers

1234
00:54:17,440 --> 00:54:19,080
would be my top priority.
But everyone's like, oh, no, you

1235
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:20,720
can't say that.
You have to say the kids come

1236
00:54:20,720 --> 00:54:22,080
first.
Yeah, the kids come first.

1237
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:24,280
It's like, Oh, yeah, obviously
I'm not saying I don't care

1238
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:26,760
about the kids, but what I'm
trying to allude to is what you

1239
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:29,640
really nicely described there,
which is if I have happy,

1240
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:33,160
motivated, healthy teachers,
they will do a better job than

1241
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:36,800
the other version of that, which
is what most of us feel all the

1242
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:38,360
time.
But we also, you know, so it's

1243
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:41,360
just so nice hearing you talk
because the other, the other

1244
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:43,840
week we talked about essentially
what you described to me was

1245
00:54:43,840 --> 00:54:45,240
what we were calling teacher
martyrs.

1246
00:54:45,240 --> 00:54:48,120
It's that martyrdom of I must
sacrifice myself to be a good

1247
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:49,400
teacher.
And you do you wear it as a

1248
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:51,280
badge of honour.
We've been there, you've been

1249
00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:52,880
there.
Like a lot of people have

1250
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:55,640
experienced that.
But you, you kind of summarised

1251
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:56,760
it in a really nice sensitive
way.

1252
00:54:56,760 --> 00:54:59,920
We just had a bit of a rant
about like how it's kind of like

1253
00:54:59,920 --> 00:55:01,520
it's ruining the profession
because we can't get stuff done.

1254
00:55:01,640 --> 00:55:04,600
Yeah, but but Charlie is right
though, because like, like we

1255
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:07,080
tried to say in that chat, there
are you can't talk for everyone

1256
00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:10,720
because there'll be some people
who that selfless badge actually

1257
00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:13,960
intrinsically they are probably
being selfless.

1258
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:16,280
Like you talked about how you're
being selfish because you make

1259
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:18,360
it feel good.
I know there is, I know some

1260
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:21,200
teachers right now who I really,
truly don't think of being

1261
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:23,200
selfish, who are trying to be
selfless.

1262
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:25,600
And actually they've got a
pretty good balance with their

1263
00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:26,520
life.
They feel quite healthy.

1264
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:29,280
They're in a different position.
Their home life is so that, you

1265
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:31,520
know, they want to put that
extra time in and they're

1266
00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:34,720
choosing to do so.
I think that the, where it can

1267
00:55:34,720 --> 00:55:38,920
become toxic is what's happening
in the profession where that can

1268
00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:41,800
become expected.
And I think that's where that's

1269
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:44,040
where the burnout happens.
That's where the stress happens,

1270
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:47,000
where teachers who are doing
what you said, what we talked

1271
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:49,680
about earlier in our career,
where we're, we're saying yes to

1272
00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:50,920
everything because we're
teachers.

1273
00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:53,920
And that's a badge of honour.
When that from the powers that

1274
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:56,880
be becomes the norm and
expected, you're never ever

1275
00:55:56,880 --> 00:55:59,520
going to break that cycle
because what you've summed up

1276
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:02,280
today really nicely is the
things you can do to change to

1277
00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:03,720
help your well-being, to help
your health.

1278
00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:07,680
And the thing we talk about
sometimes is we're not saying

1279
00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:12,120
that you can control bosses SLT
toxicity from, you know, the

1280
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:14,120
public, some of the public in
general.

1281
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:17,160
So I just wanted to say thank
you because I think what you're

1282
00:56:17,160 --> 00:56:19,400
giving is tangible advice to
people here.

1283
00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:21,920
As you know, you might find
yourself in a situation we're

1284
00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:23,640
all in teaching.
We can't pretend it's not

1285
00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:25,400
broken.
To an extent we know it is.

1286
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:27,880
But do you know what?
People still love teaching,

1287
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:31,120
People want to get around it.
And I think you've given some

1288
00:56:31,120 --> 00:56:33,800
really solid advice.
There's just one thing I wanted

1289
00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:37,760
to get before we before we do
finish this chat is I want to

1290
00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:41,720
talk about food briefly because
this is something that I know

1291
00:56:41,720 --> 00:56:44,000
Hayden and I and A lot of our
listeners, because we've touched

1292
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:45,200
it before, I really struggle
with.

1293
00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:48,680
So I'm not afraid to say I do
really struggle with food in

1294
00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:51,720
general.
And you talk about emotion LED

1295
00:56:51,720 --> 00:56:55,440
eating before and how teaching
can be that kind of job where

1296
00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:58,280
you reward yourself with this
chocolate cake at the end of the

1297
00:56:58,280 --> 00:56:59,680
day or something.
Or in the staff room.

1298
00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:00,920
Yeah, in the staff room.
Exactly.

1299
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:02,520
There's loads of stuff.
And I just wanted to get your

1300
00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:05,560
insight into your thoughts on
emotion LED eating because I've

1301
00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:09,000
done it before.
Where I'm extremes like we

1302
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:12,080
talked about with with, with,
with exercise, you either you

1303
00:57:12,080 --> 00:57:14,960
want to become a marathon runner
or you might as well not do

1304
00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:16,840
anything.
I have that same mindset with

1305
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:18,360
food.
And I'm wondering if you can

1306
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:21,880
draw parallels maybe with the
exercise because I can cut out

1307
00:57:21,880 --> 00:57:23,160
sugar because I think, right,
cool.

1308
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:25,240
I feel like I'm addicted to
sugar.

1309
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:27,440
Am I addicted?
Can you be addicted to sugar?

1310
00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:29,240
I don't know.
I'm not a scientist, but in my

1311
00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:30,720
head I think, oh, that's my
problem.

1312
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:32,840
It's sugar.
So I'll cut out sugar, I'll lose

1313
00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:34,080
a bunch of weight, I'll feel
great.

1314
00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:38,840
And as soon as I have one thing,
I then justify it.

1315
00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:41,600
Well, I've had that thing
yesterday, okay, four months, no

1316
00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:43,040
sugar, but I had a chocolate by
yesterday.

1317
00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:44,720
Nothing happened.
I'll have another two today.

1318
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:49,560
And then I spiral back and I'm
up, down, up, down and teaching

1319
00:57:49,560 --> 00:57:52,240
is up, down, up, down.
And I really struggle to

1320
00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:55,920
disconnect my emotions and my
stress with my eating.

1321
00:57:55,920 --> 00:57:58,600
So I just wondered if you have
any like general tips there of

1322
00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:00,600
you know what's going on when
that happens?

1323
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:03,800
I love first of all, I love this
topic.

1324
00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:07,360
Yeah, they say that I could this
could be an hour in itself.

1325
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:10,000
So I'll I'll, I'll try and as
everything.

1326
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:11,080
How about?
You know, if you give us a

1327
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:13,240
general gist, we'll have you
back on at some point and we can

1328
00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:15,600
go into more detail maybe.
OK, yeah, that's, that's a good

1329
00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:17,560
idea because I, I genuinely love
this topic.

1330
00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:21,520
I think with emotional eating,
and I like that you said an

1331
00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:25,200
emotionally, not an emotional
eating, because I, I think being

1332
00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:27,480
led by your emotions is, is the
crux of it.

1333
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:30,160
I think that's, that kind of
gives you exactly where to, to

1334
00:58:30,160 --> 00:58:32,640
get in to, you know, to the real
nitty gritty is to look at the

1335
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:34,720
emotion.
But again, that's a deeper layer

1336
00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:37,600
for a lot of people.
The thing with emotional eating

1337
00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:39,760
is to realise that you're doing
it for a reason.

1338
00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:43,440
You wouldn't do it if it didn't
help, right?

1339
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:45,560
It, it, it's a, it's a coping
strategy.

1340
00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:48,760
And that's fine.
And if, let's say you've got 10

1341
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:51,120
different strategies to manage,
we're just going to focus on

1342
00:58:51,120 --> 00:58:53,400
stress here.
But it could be anger, it could

1343
00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:56,240
be loneliness, it could be
boredom, it could be tiredness,

1344
00:58:56,240 --> 00:59:00,280
it could be anxiety, whatever.
But let's just say it's stress.

1345
00:59:00,400 --> 00:59:02,760
If you've got 10 different
coping strategies to manage your

1346
00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:07,480
stress, right, and eating is one
of them, then that is actually

1347
00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:08,960
probably not a problem for you
in your life.

1348
00:59:08,960 --> 00:59:11,320
And your relationship with food
is probably not at a point where

1349
00:59:11,320 --> 00:59:13,880
it really needs much work
because you've got these

1350
00:59:13,880 --> 00:59:16,600
different strategies.
The real problem I see is that

1351
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:20,480
when whether it is because we
don't nurture our identity

1352
00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:22,880
outside the classroom, whether
it's because we do, our life

1353
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:25,760
does shrink to to be just work,
which it can easily do.

1354
00:59:25,960 --> 00:59:29,600
It's like work, adult life
admin, like the shopping and

1355
00:59:29,600 --> 00:59:31,560
then looking after family.
And that's what a lot of

1356
00:59:31,560 --> 00:59:33,120
teachers life's comprised of at
the moment.

1357
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:37,400
For whatever reason, when your
coping strategies shrink down to

1358
00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:40,360
the fact that to the point where
you just have one and that

1359
00:59:40,480 --> 00:59:43,600
eating is, is the thing that you
do to feel better, that's when

1360
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:47,080
it becomes a problem.
So the emotional eating

1361
00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:50,240
inheritance isn't just, it's
not, you know, we can't just say

1362
00:59:50,240 --> 00:59:52,840
all emotional eating is a
problem because you go get a

1363
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:54,400
promotion, you go out for a meal
to celebrate.

1364
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:57,800
That's emotional eating, but
it's a different emotion and da,

1365
00:59:57,800 --> 00:59:59,760
da, da.
So that's, that's important to

1366
00:59:59,760 --> 01:00:01,240
say.
So a really simple thing is,

1367
01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:03,440
rather than looking at what we
can take away from your life,

1368
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:06,280
what positive coping strategies
could we add in?

1369
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:10,040
Which is where movement and
exercise because it increases

1370
01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:13,160
endorphins and endocannabinoids,
it increases serotonin and

1371
01:00:13,160 --> 01:00:15,120
dopamine, particularly the
outside.

1372
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:19,080
That's a great coping strategy.
A 10 minute walk is amazing.

1373
01:00:20,120 --> 01:00:23,200
So what can you add into your
coping strategy toolbox rather

1374
01:00:23,200 --> 01:00:25,600
than just focusing on
emotionally is the problem?

1375
01:00:25,680 --> 01:00:27,520
That would be #1 I'd say so
good.

1376
01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:29,480
I really like your positive
approach.

1377
01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:30,800
You've done everything in this
episode.

1378
01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:33,240
It's been really refreshing and
you've really, really made the

1379
01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:34,240
point.
I'm sure it's, you know, it's

1380
01:00:34,240 --> 01:00:36,600
your mantra, but you've very
clearly come across it's about,

1381
01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:39,280
it's not about adding more
negatives or making things like

1382
01:00:39,280 --> 01:00:41,040
a sacrifice.
You're not a bad person.

1383
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:42,440
Yeah.
It's, it's just add more

1384
01:00:42,440 --> 01:00:44,560
positive things into your life.
And I imagine the idea is that

1385
01:00:44,560 --> 01:00:47,360
actually you'll then find
naturally that you'll transition

1386
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:49,200
to a more positive lifestyle as
a result anyway.

1387
01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:51,880
And some of those negative
things, whatever they are, might

1388
01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:53,800
kind of step out.
You don't need to talk about

1389
01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:54,120
them.
Yeah.

1390
01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:56,440
That's really interesting.
I, I will just add, I think

1391
01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:58,840
having listened, I genuinely
want to just tell you now, I

1392
01:00:58,840 --> 01:01:01,240
think you've unlocked like two
or three or four things in me

1393
01:01:01,480 --> 01:01:03,800
that I feel like I can go away
and really action.

1394
01:01:03,800 --> 01:01:05,360
And I'm hoping the listeners
feel that way too.

1395
01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:08,480
And yeah, I just wanted to say
big thank you for everything

1396
01:01:08,480 --> 01:01:10,960
you've gone through so far.
Honestly, what we're going to do

1397
01:01:10,960 --> 01:01:13,360
then before we wrap up, I
really, really want our

1398
01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:15,280
listeners to know where to find
you.

1399
01:01:15,600 --> 01:01:18,800
And if I'm right, you're writing
a book currently about this

1400
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:21,480
whole thing.
Just just maybe a little quick,

1401
01:01:21,680 --> 01:01:22,760
where can we find you?
What?

1402
01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:24,800
What's the plans for the future?
Yeah, cool.

1403
01:01:24,800 --> 01:01:28,120
So Instagram's where I live most
of the time.

1404
01:01:28,840 --> 01:01:31,080
Facebook I'm not a fan of
anymore.

1405
01:01:31,640 --> 01:01:34,120
TikTok, it's too quick for me.
I can't keep up with it.

1406
01:01:34,320 --> 01:01:38,120
So yeah, Instagram's the main
place, but everywhere I live is

1407
01:01:38,120 --> 01:01:40,720
just the teacher's health coach.
It just does what it says on the

1408
01:01:40,720 --> 01:01:42,400
tin.
Didn't put much thought into

1409
01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:45,920
that name, but that's website
Instagram, all that good stuff.

1410
01:01:46,840 --> 01:01:49,760
I did used to write a weekly
newsletter and I used to have a

1411
01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:53,720
weekly podcast, which I'm aiming
to bring back at some point

1412
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:55,160
soon.
I've just started to record bits

1413
01:01:55,160 --> 01:01:58,760
and things.
And the reason that I've got on

1414
01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:00,320
the back burner is because of
like, say that book.

1415
01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:01,680
So Healthy Habits for Teacher
Life.

1416
01:02:01,960 --> 01:02:05,320
So Sage Publications have this
series called Little Guides for

1417
01:02:05,320 --> 01:02:07,640
Teachers.
Yeah, I'm about to say Guides

1418
01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:09,960
for little teachers.
It's not little guide, Little

1419
01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:11,400
guides for teachers.
Need that as well.

1420
01:02:12,040 --> 01:02:14,920
Though there's a whole series of
them, so it's a small, short

1421
01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:17,760
thing.
It's about this big, only 15,000

1422
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:19,600
words, but it's a really
practical guide.

1423
01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:22,000
And, and the brief they gave me
was that we want something that

1424
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:25,320
is focused on habits.
So there's a little bit about

1425
01:02:25,320 --> 01:02:28,440
kind of like the, the neurology
and, and, and the mindset and

1426
01:02:28,440 --> 01:02:30,560
stuff like that.
But it's very much pick this up.

1427
01:02:31,040 --> 01:02:33,120
Here's a pick a quick task you
can take.

1428
01:02:33,240 --> 01:02:34,680
Here's a space to write about
it.

1429
01:02:34,760 --> 01:02:36,240
Here's a reflection.
Go and do it.

1430
01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:38,280
So it's it's like a super
practical book.

1431
01:02:39,520 --> 01:02:41,240
So that's, that's coming out in
February.

1432
01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:43,760
They're in two weeks time.
They're supposed to send me the

1433
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:45,320
final proof, which is quite
exciting.

1434
01:02:45,960 --> 01:02:47,240
So yeah, that's all coming to
head.

1435
01:02:47,240 --> 01:02:49,200
So that's, that's the feature.
The thing that I'm really

1436
01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:51,760
wanting to work on next year is
getting out into more schools.

1437
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:54,640
Yeah, it's been five years now.
I've been building what we're

1438
01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:57,200
doing and it's at the point
where I want to get out in

1439
01:02:57,200 --> 01:02:59,200
personal.
And also I'm going a bit crazy

1440
01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:00,640
looking at this corner of my
spare room.

1441
01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:02,920
Staring at the wall.
Yeah, I think.

1442
01:03:02,920 --> 01:03:05,200
It'll make a big difference.
Yeah, having having listened to

1443
01:03:05,200 --> 01:03:06,280
this conversation, I'll tell you
now.

1444
01:03:06,280 --> 01:03:09,720
I'll be buying that book because
it you know exactly what you

1445
01:03:09,720 --> 01:03:11,880
said here.
It's that process of let's

1446
01:03:11,880 --> 01:03:15,040
identify a problem, let's not
shame the person, let's find out

1447
01:03:15,040 --> 01:03:18,320
how we can fix the problem and
also understand why it happens.

1448
01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:21,640
And it's not down to you being a
silly teacher who's just not

1449
01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:23,960
looking after themselves.
No, no, it happens because of

1450
01:03:23,960 --> 01:03:26,320
XYZ.
Let's try and fix it by trying

1451
01:03:26,320 --> 01:03:28,960
these three things.
I'm really grateful, Charlie.

1452
01:03:28,960 --> 01:03:30,280
I want to say thank you again
for your time.

1453
01:03:31,120 --> 01:03:32,320
Thank you.
Thank you both for having me.

1454
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:37,880
OK, Hayden, I don't know about
you, but I really enjoyed that

1455
01:03:37,880 --> 01:03:39,240
chat.
There are moments where Charlie

1456
01:03:39,280 --> 01:03:41,200
was talking and I was just, I
was engrossed.

1457
01:03:41,200 --> 01:03:42,360
I felt like I was listening to a
podcast.

1458
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:43,720
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I forgot we were actually part

1459
01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:45,240
of the podcast.
It was one of the things where I

1460
01:03:45,240 --> 01:03:47,120
saw the time going up and I was
thinking, do you know what can

1461
01:03:47,120 --> 01:03:48,800
we make our podcast like a 2
hour kind of thing?

1462
01:03:48,800 --> 01:03:51,000
Because I really just, I have so
many more things I want to talk

1463
01:03:51,000 --> 01:03:51,960
about.
We'll have to get them back in

1464
01:03:51,960 --> 01:03:53,040
the future.
Absolutely brilliant.

1465
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:56,280
So one thing then each that we
took away from it.

1466
01:03:56,360 --> 01:03:58,160
Let's reflect and then we'll
finish up for the week.

1467
01:03:58,160 --> 01:04:00,280
What's the one thing you're
going to take away from that?

1468
01:04:00,280 --> 01:04:01,760
So I'm going to be really raw
here.

1469
01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:04,080
The thing that's just still in
my mind is the, is the, is the

1470
01:04:04,080 --> 01:04:06,680
whole butterfly effect thing.
I kind of mentioned it, but it's

1471
01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:10,600
really just hit home this whole
idea of you can start with a

1472
01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:12,440
small thing.
I always ignore it.

1473
01:04:12,440 --> 01:04:14,840
I'm like, now what's the point
of starting with a small thing?

1474
01:04:14,840 --> 01:04:16,000
I just want to go straight into
it.

1475
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:18,000
Run that marathon, like you
said, straight away or there's

1476
01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:20,040
no point because it's not going
to actually have an impact on my

1477
01:04:20,040 --> 01:04:21,400
life.
Do you know what it will?

1478
01:04:21,520 --> 01:04:23,880
And it's not that the first
thing will have an impact.

1479
01:04:24,040 --> 01:04:27,560
It's the fact that it won't
change my mindset and make me do

1480
01:04:27,560 --> 01:04:28,800
the next level.
So do you know what?

1481
01:04:28,800 --> 01:04:30,640
I'm going to try it.
I'm going to try and do a little

1482
01:04:30,640 --> 01:04:34,400
walk and then by doing that, the
next time I'll I'll do it again

1483
01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:35,400
because it'll feel good
obviously.

1484
01:04:35,400 --> 01:04:37,280
And I'm hoping then the next
time I'll maybe do a bit of a

1485
01:04:37,280 --> 01:04:38,920
run with it and maybe I'll go a
bit further.

1486
01:04:39,040 --> 01:04:40,680
Maybe I'll do it more than one
time a week.

1487
01:04:40,720 --> 01:04:43,280
I don't know something, but I'm
feeling really inspired to

1488
01:04:43,280 --> 01:04:44,920
actually go out and do
something.

1489
01:04:45,040 --> 01:04:46,000
That's my thing.
What about you?

1490
01:04:46,560 --> 01:04:50,600
My big thing was to not be so
black and white with good and

1491
01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:53,000
bad things in your life.
So for example, we talked about

1492
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:56,320
stress and never really before
have I heard someone just say to

1493
01:04:56,320 --> 01:04:59,240
me point blank, no, humans are
meant to feel stress always with

1494
01:04:59,240 --> 01:05:00,400
stress.
It's like, are you feeling

1495
01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:01,880
stressed?
Try these seven things, like

1496
01:05:01,880 --> 01:05:04,840
just get rid of it completely.
And I really liked the idea

1497
01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:06,720
especially as well with the
emotion that eating.

1498
01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:10,120
He said, yeah, if you were doing
emotion that eating and it was

1499
01:05:10,120 --> 01:05:13,360
one of ten ways to cope with
your emotions, it would probably

1500
01:05:13,360 --> 01:05:15,000
be healthy and fine.
Of course, you can have a bit of

1501
01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:17,000
chocolate every now and then.
If that's the only hook you

1502
01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:19,000
have, you're going to eat
awfully every day.

1503
01:05:19,280 --> 01:05:22,960
And, and, and this idea of don't
try and eradicate things.

1504
01:05:23,200 --> 01:05:26,440
Look at why they exist in your
life, look at the reasons behind

1505
01:05:26,440 --> 01:05:29,520
them being there and see how you
can try and action it and reduce

1506
01:05:29,520 --> 01:05:30,520
it.
It's kind of similar to what

1507
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:32,400
you're saying the other way.
Don't just try and squash it and

1508
01:05:32,400 --> 01:05:33,880
get rid of it.
Yeah, I've done it before.

1509
01:05:33,880 --> 01:05:35,880
I just get rid of sugar and I
lose a bunch of weight and I

1510
01:05:35,880 --> 01:05:38,040
feel great, but it doesn't
actually solve the problem

1511
01:05:38,040 --> 01:05:40,120
because I will always end up
back at that problem.

1512
01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:42,160
Exactly.
If you just understand OK

1513
01:05:42,160 --> 01:05:46,400
emotion that eating is fine.
If maybe the next time you feel

1514
01:05:46,640 --> 01:05:48,560
like you want to grab the bar of
chocolate, you go and try and

1515
01:05:48,560 --> 01:05:51,080
force yourself to go for a run
instead or go for a walk or you

1516
01:05:51,080 --> 01:05:53,240
do some meditation.
Same thing for stress.

1517
01:05:53,440 --> 01:05:54,960
Feeling stress is a human
reaction.

1518
01:05:54,960 --> 01:05:57,120
It's how we react to things.
It's normal.

1519
01:05:57,440 --> 01:06:00,280
If you're feeling chronic
stress, cool, how can I break

1520
01:06:00,280 --> 01:06:01,920
that cycle?
He talked about stress and

1521
01:06:01,920 --> 01:06:04,960
relaxation and just recharging.
You've not got that second part

1522
01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:06,360
that's going to turn into
chronic stress.

1523
01:06:06,360 --> 01:06:08,920
That's when it's a problem.
Stress isn't the problem.

1524
01:06:09,160 --> 01:06:11,200
Emotion LED eating isn't the
problem.

1525
01:06:11,400 --> 01:06:13,640
The problem is everything around
it and how you can try and

1526
01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:15,560
minimise that and and and that
idea of.

1527
01:06:15,680 --> 01:06:18,560
I think what we can both
summarise here is small steps

1528
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:19,840
will make a difference.
Yeah, big time.

1529
01:06:19,840 --> 01:06:21,600
I like that.
To me, it's kind of somebody see

1530
01:06:21,600 --> 01:06:23,200
the analogy, right?
But it's that positive

1531
01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:25,760
reinforcement, right, Rather
than focusing on the negative

1532
01:06:25,760 --> 01:06:26,920
and take.
It's not about getting rid of

1533
01:06:26,920 --> 01:06:29,120
the negative, like you just
said, because for me, right, I

1534
01:06:29,120 --> 01:06:30,840
imagine I see my timetable of
the week on.

1535
01:06:30,840 --> 01:06:33,400
It's my stress timetable.
OK, Monday to Friday, maybe

1536
01:06:33,400 --> 01:06:35,160
Monday to Sunday.
What's the only thing I've got

1537
01:06:35,160 --> 01:06:36,600
blocked in there?
Eating bad food.

1538
01:06:36,960 --> 01:06:38,400
That's the only way I deal with
stress.

1539
01:06:38,680 --> 01:06:40,080
And it's not about don't get rid
of that.

1540
01:06:40,080 --> 01:06:41,960
Do you know what?
Do something else because by

1541
01:06:41,960 --> 01:06:44,320
doing something else, by
default, it takes up some of

1542
01:06:44,320 --> 01:06:46,400
that schedule.
And then I like the idea is, you

1543
01:06:46,400 --> 01:06:48,320
know, when you've got nine other
things, do you know what by

1544
01:06:48,320 --> 01:06:50,600
default?
What if it's only one of ten

1545
01:06:50,600 --> 01:06:52,240
ways to deal with stress eating
that food?

1546
01:06:52,240 --> 01:06:53,680
It can't take up your whole
schedule then, can it?

1547
01:06:53,680 --> 01:06:55,360
It's just because you've got
other things in that schedule

1548
01:06:55,360 --> 01:06:56,880
now.
So I just, I just love that

1549
01:06:56,880 --> 01:06:57,920
mindset.
I'm really, really, really

1550
01:06:57,920 --> 01:06:59,000
going.
To try and I'm feeling pumped.

1551
01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:02,280
I'm feeling, you know how you
should feel when you feel like

1552
01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:03,160
you're going to make a.
Difference.

1553
01:07:03,160 --> 01:07:04,280
Wait, I'll be about to go for a
run.

1554
01:07:06,160 --> 01:07:09,040
McDonald's.
No, we're going for a run.

1555
01:07:09,040 --> 01:07:11,280
Let's do it.
Guys, thank you so much for this

1556
01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:12,400
thing.
I hope you got as much out of

1557
01:07:12,400 --> 01:07:15,160
that as we did, and we'll see
you again next time for another

1558
01:07:15,160 --> 01:07:15,800
episode.
See you.