“Marjorie says hello.” “Who’s Marjorie?” “Oh, she’s not alive.” It’s the first parents’ evening of the year, so we asked you for the strangest things parents have ever said to you, and you delivered. Before the stories, Dylan and Hayden get into how to do parents’ evening well, the timekeeping debate, and a quick-fire round on every parents’ evening argument going.
🛒 THE NECTAR CARD INCIDENT
Hayden asks a stranger at a Sainsbury’s self-checkout if he can borrow their Nectar card. Dylan would rather walk back to the car park for his phone. Also, his card “has touch thing on it”.
🤝 WHY THE FIRST PARENTS’ EVENING MATTERS
Why it lands when everyone’s at their most tired, why it’s still worth it, and how building that bridge early makes the hard conversations in November and January easier.
👨👧 WHAT PARENTS ACTUALLY WANT TO HEAR
Does being a parent change how you run it? Why nobody wants a run-down of fronted adverbials, why you should hand the first question to the parent, and some leading questions that get nervous parents talking.
⏱️ SHOULD YOU STICK TO TIME?
Polite, professional, and more doable than you’d think. Why the same teachers are always running late, why being passive is still a choice, and how good SLT step in.
⚡ QUICK FIRE
Online or in person. One long night or two. 5, 10 or 15 minute slots. Chasing no-shows. Should the child sit in? And the one thing every head should provide (food. Proper food).
😳 YOUR UNHINGED PARENTS’ EVENING STORIES
“We’ve all been to school.” The Welsh nationalist. The note from Mum in an exam. The Europhile insult. The dad who doesn’t believe in detention. “It’s your lack of personality.” Marjorie. A rant aimed at the wrong teacher. The swearing parent. And no practical lessons in science, during the reproduction unit.
🔮 ARE MEDIUMS A CON?
Marjorie sends us off on a tangent and Hayden brings out his fake Arsenal shirt analogy.
Chapters
00:00 Intro and the Nectar card incident
04:32 The first parents’ evening of the year
09:00 Does being a parent change how you do it?
11:40 What parents actually want to hear
15:19 Should teachers stick to time?
19:38 Quick fire: online, timings, no-shows, kids in the room
30:24 Your parents’ evening stories
37:21 Marjorie says hello (and are mediums a con?)
41:35 The wrong teacher
43:13 “I’ve told him not to swear in school”
44:53 No practical lessons in science
45:53 One final line
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