Nov. 23, 2023
Bitesize #3: Reflections on Newborn Parenting: The Best Hardest Thing Ever
With Hayden entering the new-dad club, the boys have an honest discussion about the life-changing event of becoming a father. From funny stories to serious thoughts, this is a must-listen for anyone wanting to learn more about the process and the realities it entails. It is definitely the Best Hardest Thing Ever. Please do find us on Instagram and send us a message. We love to hear from you listeners. @teachsleeprepeatpodcast
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Hello everyone.
Welcome back to another bite
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sized episode of Teach Stick
Repeat.
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My name is Dylan.
And my name is Hayden.
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And this is a very, very
exciting episode because after
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months and months of not
mentioning it once in the
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podcast, because we just didn't
want to open that kind of worms,
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this is officially the first
podcast where we are both moved
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house.
Ohh, brilliant.
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I really thought I was gonna be
a good good little segment
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there.
Well done, darling.
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You really?
I'm sorry.
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Go on, Hayden.
What's?
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Happened.
We are both now officially dads.
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If you've been following our
podcast you will know that we've
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talked about a bit about it in
the past and obviously Dylan
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became a dad and I was very
close and now we're both dads.
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We're in that world.
So Dylan, we're grown up now.
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Our podcast is going to be a lot
more sensible, wise, you could
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say from now on how much has.
She pooed.
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Mate, she pooed in my hand.
Day One.
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Day one.
I couldn't believe it.
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Ohh it was brilliant I suppose
the what I what I wanted to
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start with because ohh it's
really exciting let's just
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Galloway is is like mega
exciting like you know I've had
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another friend who's recently
had a baby as well.
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My friend grew over the last
like 2345 years.
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It's been it's been an influx of
babies but there is just
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something about you and I having
our first babies at the same
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time where we do spend so much
time together.
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It's been, it's been really nice
to just immediately have, like
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the barriers down.
Do you know what I mean?
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There's there's no, there's
nothing out of bounds.
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And what I wanted to do to start
with was just draw your
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attention back to our episode.
I think it was three or four ago
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becoming apparent when when I
did my first one.
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And I just want to ask you now,
you've had your baby.
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Yeah.
How, like, do you see what I was
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saying in a different light or
does it make more sense now?
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Like, what's your What's your
reaction?
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Well, I say two things.
Firstly, one thing on the bit
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you just talking about, right?
So loads of people, I know
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you've had the same loads of
people have said to me.
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How did you plan it?
Did you and Dylan plan this to
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have at the same time?
And I'm like, no, we didn't plan
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it.
It just kind of happened.
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But like, subconsciously, it's
funny cause I do wonder.
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We probably did start talking
about starting families and
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things.
Hmm.
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And then, you know, that seed
was sort of there.
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Like, you know, we didn't plan
it, but yes, we planned it, we
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didn't plan it, but yes, we put
a date in the diary for
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conception.
And someone else said, didn't I?
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Did we plan the names?
I know, I know.
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So the names for anyone who
isn't up to date.
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I'm sorry.
If you listen to the podcast,
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you know my son's called Rory.
Go on and on about it.
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And your daughter is called.
River so it just it just goes
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together so perfectly.
So yeah, no, you're right,
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Hayden, It's it is just, it
feels right.
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It feels nice.
So what else are you going to
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say?
About that, yeah, back to like
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your actual question.
So obviously because you had
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Rory 6 weeks ago, is that right
now I7 weeks?
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Seven weeks ago and obviously
because we're quite close, it
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had, it was actually really,
really, really helpful because
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you kind of went for it all
first and I was taking a lot of
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mental notes of things you were
saying and reactions you were
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having and kind of how many days
were passing when you were doing
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certain things or feeling
certain ways.
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And it was really helpful.
It's been really helpful for us.
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We're only like a few days in.
I literally have.
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I'm losing track.
I guess we're five days in.
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It's all one massive blurry day
to me at the moment.
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I can't really fathom the fact
that it's been.
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More than a day.
But it's been nice because that
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there have been times where I'm
like, no, no, OK, right.
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You know, Dylan, Dylan said he
had.
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But like, yeah, I'm having a
breakdown.
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Basically.
I'm thinking, Oh my God, I
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almost had a breakdown.
I'm not even joking.
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In the hospital.
We had the baby and it was the
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first night after, so we had the
baby basically in the middle of
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the night anyway.
So the next night comes across
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and I was unbelievably tired,
you know, and exactly how you
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said you were feeling like it
was.
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I was like that delirious level
of.
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I'm so, so, so tired.
I've had two hours sleep in
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about 48 hours at this point,
and the baby is just screaming,
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just wailing, and I'm like,
cool.
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I have no training.
I have no idea what to do with
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this thing.
It's just here screaming at me.
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Like Lauren's absolutely
knackered as well.
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Next to me, she's just had a
C-section.
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And honestly, I felt like
crying.
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I was like, I I don't know what
to do.
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I'm sat on a blue chair of doom
thinking, I've gotta I can't
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even sleep on this thing anyway.
Bar man and I nearly I nearly
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had a complete breakdown at that
point but I did sort of think
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Ohh Dylan said this as well and
then he was OK.
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So there is there is something
about shared pain like because I
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think I don't know how you feel
about this because I'm trying to
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be as candid as possible because
I think it would have really
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helped me.
I've heard more people being
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this candid because you always
get, you know, those types where
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we talked about it before.
They kind of grind you down a
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bit when they say, oh, just you
wait for this, It's good.
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It's going to be awful.
It's going to be bloody awful.
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And that used to annoy us,
didn't we used to speak about
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that.
And yeah, you know, it was
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really refreshing when someone
said ohh, yeah, but you know,
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you are gonna have your own
child.
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It's gonna be amazing for all
these reasons.
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There are some positives, yeah.
Yeah, there are exactly.
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There are positives.
But I don't know.
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I still felt in that first
couple of weeks that I could
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have just done with a bit more
of someone being really honest
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about how hard it is, Like it's
so incredibly hard and tricky
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and that it's OK to feel
annoyed.
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It's OK to get angry at times
inside yourself because your
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your clock, it's just completely
thrown off your entire life.
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Like, yeah, you gonna have those
moments where you look into your
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baby's eyes and it's the best
feeling in the world.
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But objectively, it's really
tough.
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And I think it's nice at least
to hear that you feel like you
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can at least reflect on that and
be like, well, it's OK that it's
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not going to make it better
immediately, but it's OK that
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it's hard.
Yeah, because someone else I
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know has also experienced this
and it just, it just validates,
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validates your feelings just
that little bit.
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More, because you do get
insecure.
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It's just a thing.
Like it's it's all brand new to
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us.
Of course we're insecure.
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We'd have no idea if we're doing
the right things or not.
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So to know that someone else did
it, even just one person, is
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like, OK, well at least someone
else has done this.
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So it's not completely like
we're not just completely alone
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in this.
Yeah, it's weird, it's isolating
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in a way, but it's but the nice
sides of it, like it brought me
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and Lauren even closer than ever
before because it's a proper
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team effort.
Like we have to work together on
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this.
We're starting to tag team just
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to get some sleep.
Do you know what I mean?
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And and we're working that out
between us and.
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I don't know.
It's just it's been really, I've
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really, really really enjoyed
the process so far.
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And I have had those few moments
where I, you know, I I I wanted
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to literally run away.
I was like, I can't cope with
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this.
It's not for me.
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I'm not the person.
It's not for me.
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I'm gonna that's it.
I'm done.
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But yeah, like you said, you
look into her eyes or you feed
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her.
I don't know is that feeding?
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But Ohh, man, like just such
like a bond, isn't it?
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Especially I tell you something,
you know speaking candid then
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something I really struggled
with.
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And so did Lauren, and she won't
mind me saying this.
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Is we had quite a rough start as
you know and I won't go into the
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details of that, but we had an
emergency C-section as most
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people probably know what that
is and because of the situation
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and it be in the middle of the
night and it wasn't when we
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planned to.
We had a planned C-section, but
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this wasn't the day.
This was an emergency.
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And the the baby, you know, came
out and Lauren and I just both.
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We just didn't connect with her.
Straight away.
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And obviously we felt really
guilty for that because people
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always talk about the connection
that you feel straight away and
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we just didn't because we were
like, whoa. 1/2 an hour ago we
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were in bed asleep like and we
were dreaming about what we
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think this baby is gonna look
like, looked like and we had
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this image in our head.
And you know, individually for
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both of us And then suddenly
there was like, you go, here it
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is.
And we were like, ohh OK, this
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this is not our baby.
This isn't it.
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This isn't the plan.
That's not what she looks like.
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And it would just didn't have
the connection straight away
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because she didn't look like
what we thought she was.
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So that was really weird.
But it has come over time.
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I think it took a bit longer for
Lauren because she has just been
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sliced open and like she's
healing from that.
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Didn't get any bonding time at
the start because she's
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recovering from that and you
know the the midwives and I'm,
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I'm getting those little cuddly
moments and but for Lauren, it's
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like, ohh, she's crying now.
Here you go.
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Try breastfeeding and yeah, and
it's like, that's not nice,
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really.
But now like we're a few days in
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that that bond is starting to
get really strong and and I'm
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just, I'm I'm enjoying watching
it in Lauren as well like her
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and River as much as I have
experienced it as well.
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So I don't know if it because
what about you guys with the
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whole bonding like was that a
thing for you or did you feel
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more of an immediate connection.
Again I don't know it's tricky
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one because again linking back
to you what your experience we
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we also had C-section and it's
just you know everyone, everyone
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who's involved or knows about
the processes.
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Whenever you have a C-section
mum is just more incapacitated
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for longer and and has to
recover because natural birth
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it's what your body is designed
to do is and it's terrific
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process and it hurts a lot but
you can very quickly bounce back
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from that and be up and going.
So for me, for us, it was a
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weird one because for days and
days and days, probably weeks
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still.
I suppose now because looking
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back at the first two weeks is
just blurred into one, I could
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not tell you anything different
about day one to day fourteen
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thing.
Yeah, like it is the exact same
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thing.
It was just I'm doing everything
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as as I should be because mum's
recovering and that means that
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if babies crying, I have to get
baby and I have to give baby to
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mum so mum can soothe baby.
And we tried breastfeeding for a
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long while at the start, so that
meant mum was up constantly
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breastfeeding but couldn't move
properly because she still sore.
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And so I, you know, I was
passing, I was up, I was awake.
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I was putting it down.
I was soothing her.
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You know, I just kind of went
into do everything mode and, you
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know, we had the discussions
before about sleep deprivation
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and hallucinations and things
like that.
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So that was very weird.
I didn't really have a chance to
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even think that I wasn't bonding
with him.
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Yeah.
Yeah.
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But I never ever felt, I never,
ever felt what you're saying.
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Personally.
I never felt like I didn't have
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00:10:04,550 --> 00:10:08,300
that bond with him.
But again, definitely more true
222
00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:12,140
and more tricky rather with with
the mum, with Lauren, because
223
00:10:12,190 --> 00:10:16,840
like you know, and I think this
is true, it's it's amazing
224
00:10:17,010 --> 00:10:19,820
having those moments together
and it's amazing when you get to
225
00:10:19,830 --> 00:10:23,190
introduce your little one to
your family, to your to to your
226
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,930
people who you want to see her
and him.
227
00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:30,590
So that was a weird process
though because amazing for us to
228
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,760
see Rory with his grandparents,
see Rory with his aunties, see
229
00:10:33,770 --> 00:10:36,240
Rory with, you know, are good
friends with you guys, you know
230
00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:38,130
everyone who's come to see him
so far.
231
00:10:38,460 --> 00:10:41,530
But you know, Lauren would say
after a few hours of seeing
232
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:44,690
people, it it felt sometimes a
bit like, you know.
233
00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:48,590
Like he was a bit of a toy it
it's not nice and and then what
234
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:51,330
would happen is he'd be lovingly
in the arms of someone and we'd
235
00:10:51,340 --> 00:10:54,180
see that and I always need so
restful and cute and then only
236
00:10:54,190 --> 00:10:56,550
when he starts fussing do we
take take over.
237
00:10:56,700 --> 00:10:59,730
So yeah, it became very much
like our time with him was
238
00:10:59,780 --> 00:11:04,210
soothing feeding then he was.
Asleep and so yeah it was it was
239
00:11:04,220 --> 00:11:06,830
it was you know we had to really
ring fence that time and just
240
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:10,020
yeah just say no to people
sometimes a bit like you know
241
00:11:10,030 --> 00:11:11,980
we're gonna have our we need a
day together.
242
00:11:11,990 --> 00:11:15,050
It's just does that really made
us feel better.
243
00:11:15,060 --> 00:11:16,190
So that helps with the bonding
as.
244
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,840
Well, but again you know you
going through that is I I know
245
00:11:18,850 --> 00:11:21,270
that happened and that's really
helped us because then yesterday
246
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,770
we were quite aware of that.
And we were like, no, no
247
00:11:23,780 --> 00:11:25,470
visitors because we just needed
that day.
248
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,720
And we did it way earlier than
maybe you did because we learned
249
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:28,940
from you.
Yeah.
250
00:11:28,950 --> 00:11:31,410
So that was really nice.
And we and we just, we did.
251
00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:34,390
We just, we stayed in bed
probably till like two, 2:00 PM.
252
00:11:34,740 --> 00:11:37,390
But all the time it was just
constantly, you just getting up
253
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:38,770
and doing things.
But then it was like, OK, let's
254
00:11:38,780 --> 00:11:40,120
go back, let's go, let's go and
chill.
255
00:11:40,130 --> 00:11:42,340
Let's relax.
And we had some really nice
256
00:11:42,350 --> 00:11:44,940
moments.
Like, I'm a really tactile
257
00:11:44,950 --> 00:11:47,590
person.
You always try and touch me.
258
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:48,430
It's, it's.
Me.
259
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,520
Yeah, only around you.
And man, I just.
260
00:11:51,530 --> 00:11:55,340
It literally melts me.
I've melted these last few days
261
00:11:55,580 --> 00:12:00,020
because I've been sat there with
her in my lap and she's in a bit
262
00:12:00,030 --> 00:12:02,700
of a wake window, but she's
chilled like she's just fed as
263
00:12:02,710 --> 00:12:04,960
well.
I'm just like stroking her
264
00:12:04,970 --> 00:12:06,480
little face and all stroking
her.
265
00:12:06,490 --> 00:12:09,410
She's got a massive the head of
hair, believe it or not, just
266
00:12:09,420 --> 00:12:11,180
stroking her hair and watching
her little eyes.
267
00:12:11,190 --> 00:12:13,770
That thing where they sort of
close and they and they roll
268
00:12:13,780 --> 00:12:15,120
into the back of her head where
she's just.
269
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:18,270
Relax.
And I'm, uh, it's just so
270
00:12:18,340 --> 00:12:21,550
special.
I I can't get over how I feel
271
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:23,660
because I really, I didn't think
I would.
272
00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:27,970
So I'm one of those people who
on the lead up to it and this is
273
00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:30,460
gonna sound really harsh, but
it's not.
274
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:33,730
I was starting to worry if I was
going to regret this genuinely
275
00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:37,550
because there is data out there
that stuff like a lot of people
276
00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:39,140
regret being parents and things
like that.
277
00:12:39,150 --> 00:12:42,790
It's just thinking, yeah, I was
like I could be one of them.
278
00:12:42,850 --> 00:12:44,940
I don't know yet.
I am a bit worried.
279
00:12:44,950 --> 00:12:47,170
I'm quite selfish like.
You like my own time.
280
00:12:47,180 --> 00:12:51,310
I like my evenings where I get
to do what I want uninterrupted.
281
00:12:51,660 --> 00:12:53,410
And I was really starting to
panic.
282
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:57,180
I know.
And I also, I've never been a
283
00:12:57,190 --> 00:12:59,480
big fan of babies.
Like I just, I don't care if a
284
00:12:59,490 --> 00:13:01,630
babies.
I've never been around them and
285
00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,220
I've and I'm not really
interested in them.
286
00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:05,080
Well, it's all I've done was the
way you did it.
287
00:13:05,570 --> 00:13:08,250
I know this is what I'm talking.
So I was really scared like
288
00:13:08,260 --> 00:13:10,020
that.
I was thinking, have I just done
289
00:13:10,030 --> 00:13:13,190
the thing because that classic,
like societies made you do this
290
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,280
thing and now you think that's
the thing to do?
291
00:13:15,530 --> 00:13:17,380
And I was really, really,
really, really worried.
292
00:13:17,450 --> 00:13:22,400
And I can't believe how secure I
am in thinking that's not me.
293
00:13:22,570 --> 00:13:25,040
I've got, I've got, I've got to
come in because you said this
294
00:13:25,050 --> 00:13:27,050
thing to me.
And I think this will put a lot
295
00:13:27,060 --> 00:13:28,960
of people's mind at ease,
hopefully, if they're going
296
00:13:28,970 --> 00:13:30,640
through the same process and
having the same kind of
297
00:13:30,650 --> 00:13:33,190
anxieties as you.
Because, you know, we've always
298
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,700
had this discussion leading up
me and you've been very
299
00:13:35,710 --> 00:13:37,420
different.
I've always had cousins in the
300
00:13:37,430 --> 00:13:38,890
family who are babies.
I've always felt very
301
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:40,690
comfortable around babies, young
children.
302
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,930
I enjoy their company.
I like playing with them.
303
00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:45,320
I like holding them.
I I feel quite comfortable in
304
00:13:45,330 --> 00:13:46,450
that role.
And you've not had that.
305
00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:48,010
So we're very different there.
And we always had that
306
00:13:48,020 --> 00:13:51,010
conversation leading up where I
said to you it will be different
307
00:13:51,020 --> 00:13:53,180
when your baby comes.
It will, it will just, there'll
308
00:13:53,190 --> 00:13:56,450
be something that kicks in.
And it was really nice to just
309
00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,480
see that had happened.
Like, you know, see you with
310
00:13:58,490 --> 00:14:01,270
her, just she's crying And you,
you've picked her up about
311
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:03,800
thinking and you know, you're
soothing her or she's, you know,
312
00:14:03,870 --> 00:14:06,240
on your on your shoulder or
you're talking to her, you're
313
00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:07,200
feeding her.
Yeah.
314
00:14:07,210 --> 00:14:10,340
What can you like kind of
describe like how what what
315
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,920
happened like is from going from
one thought to she's here and
316
00:14:13,930 --> 00:14:17,240
now you're just doing it.
It's so bizarre because I still
317
00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:20,730
kind of feel the way I felt
about other, like strangers,
318
00:14:20,740 --> 00:14:22,180
children.
It's different with me and you
319
00:14:22,190 --> 00:14:24,280
because we're very close.
But if it was like someone I
320
00:14:24,290 --> 00:14:27,330
didn't know very well, I don't.
I think I'd still be the same.
321
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,540
Ohh, go away.
I don't know.
322
00:14:28,550 --> 00:14:31,810
Smelly newborn my baby near me
but with but with my baby it's
323
00:14:31,820 --> 00:14:35,020
like.
Ohh, she is just an extension of
324
00:14:35,030 --> 00:14:36,820
me.
It's so bizarre I can't even
325
00:14:36,830 --> 00:14:39,470
describe it, but I feel so
differently towards her.
326
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:43,210
Like, and I just really, really,
really want to be near her, like
327
00:14:43,220 --> 00:14:45,030
all the time.
I just want her there.
328
00:14:45,180 --> 00:14:47,400
And I was quite nervous that, as
you know about, like, you know,
329
00:14:47,410 --> 00:14:49,700
when when you introduced me to
Rory, I was quite nervous about
330
00:14:49,710 --> 00:14:51,810
holding him, picking him up.
Because I don't have any
331
00:14:51,820 --> 00:14:54,690
experience, but I think you're
just thrown into the deep end of
332
00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:56,590
it.
And I was sat there in hospital
333
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,300
thinking, it's my baby now.
Like, it's the stakes are
334
00:14:59,310 --> 00:15:01,700
different.
And not to say that you, if you
335
00:15:01,710 --> 00:15:03,730
drop your own baby, it's fine,
obviously not.
336
00:15:03,740 --> 00:15:06,150
But like if you slightly
mishandle your baby, you make
337
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:08,480
them cry a little bit.
You, you learn from it and it's
338
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,410
your baby if you do it to
someone else's a bit.
339
00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:11,800
Awkward.
Because it's like probably
340
00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:15,180
shouldn't have done that and it
was just like cool, just I just
341
00:15:15,190 --> 00:15:17,410
mucked in and it was just like
cool, get involved to do it.
342
00:15:17,420 --> 00:15:20,940
Your baby's there crying.
Give her a cuddle and see if she
343
00:15:20,950 --> 00:15:23,740
likes it.
And then within two days I
344
00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,980
realised I've spent 10 hours
manhandling this baby.
345
00:15:25,990 --> 00:15:27,270
And actually I'm quite good at
it now.
346
00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:29,270
And it's only been a few days.
And now I'm sort of like one
347
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:32,150
handed walking around the house,
swinging it around like trying
348
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:35,510
to keep her quiet and because
she liked that and I'm like, ohh
349
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:39,480
yeah, this I thought I couldn't
do this days ago and I feel much
350
00:15:39,490 --> 00:15:42,010
better now so.
Very, very weird experience.
351
00:15:42,020 --> 00:15:44,770
Very transformational.
I know it sounds quite profound
352
00:15:44,780 --> 00:15:47,800
but sappy from us because we're
normally taking the Mick, but it
353
00:15:47,810 --> 00:15:50,270
really is, it really is a
profound experience.
354
00:15:50,370 --> 00:15:54,310
I've absolutely loved it.
Like I'm I'm cherishing this
355
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:57,100
time at the moment.
Don't get me wrong.
356
00:15:57,110 --> 00:16:00,650
There are times when I just want
to walk out of and and shut 9
357
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:01,990
doors so I can't hear the
screaming.
358
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:06,190
But you know, that's normal.
Isn't it crazy?
359
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,700
I was just saying this to you
earlier.
360
00:16:07,710 --> 00:16:10,090
Isn't it absolutely crazy how
the time of day and your time
361
00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:11,870
this level can change,
completely change your
362
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,320
perspective or something?
Because if if I hear crying or
363
00:16:14,330 --> 00:16:17,520
screaming and it's like 2 in the
afternoon, I'm well rested on
364
00:16:17,530 --> 00:16:18,940
that.
Well darling, come here.
365
00:16:18,950 --> 00:16:20,880
Let me let me burp you.
Ohh.
366
00:16:20,890 --> 00:16:24,620
Come on baby, if it's half one
in the morning and he's been up
367
00:16:24,630 --> 00:16:28,060
for four hours, I'm like, can
you please go to sleep, little
368
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,740
man?
And we can't have a technique,
369
00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:33,100
haven't we?
A little way to be angry, but do
370
00:16:33,110 --> 00:16:34,710
it in a really nice way for our
baby.
371
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,520
So I was singing, I've sung a
quite a few songs something last
372
00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:42,330
night about Ohh yeah, I was
saying like please shut up or
373
00:16:42,340 --> 00:16:45,890
Daddy's gonna have a meltdown.
Daddy's gonna have a meltdown
374
00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:47,110
that is going to have a
meltdown.
375
00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,970
I'm just singing to her this
song like almost crying because
376
00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:52,790
she just I'm just so tired.
It's like 4 in the morning.
377
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:54,290
It's the third time I've been
up.
378
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:56,670
I just want.
I just want to sleep.
379
00:16:57,930 --> 00:17:00,190
Yeah, but you've been doing as
well and you just singing stupid
380
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:03,010
songs and just sing absolutely
stupid songs and you know,
381
00:17:03,020 --> 00:17:05,150
change lyrics.
I, I I sing nonsense to and
382
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:07,390
constantly.
There's one song.
383
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,010
What is it?
Ohh.
384
00:17:09,339 --> 00:17:11,790
I think it's from Matilda the
musical that sometimes you have
385
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,359
to be a bit naughty or something
like that.
386
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,680
And the joke is that I just
don't know the lyrics to the
387
00:17:15,690 --> 00:17:17,980
song and I completely make up
every single time.
388
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:21,510
And now there's there's change.
There's like the word story
389
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,210
constantly in there and I'm
like, this is amazing.
390
00:17:23,220 --> 00:17:25,470
It rhymes with Rory.
So now I just say the name
391
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:29,580
talking absolute rubbish.
But can I say one thing, the
392
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:32,000
best thing, the best thing
that's happened this whole time?
393
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:35,260
Because I'm gonna say it again.
It's really hard.
394
00:17:35,270 --> 00:17:37,660
And I don't care how many times
say I don't care if people get
395
00:17:37,670 --> 00:17:40,480
annoyed at me for being like,
ohh, it's your baby, you know
396
00:17:40,490 --> 00:17:44,100
some boomers are like.
Ohh yeah, he's not.
397
00:17:44,110 --> 00:17:45,520
He's now it's hard.
It's really hard.
398
00:17:45,530 --> 00:17:48,620
It's really tricky.
But Rory Smart the other day
399
00:17:48,930 --> 00:17:52,580
and.
You said I I honestly like
400
00:17:52,590 --> 00:17:54,320
legit.
Anyone listening this fire?
401
00:17:54,330 --> 00:17:56,070
You get this little tidbit
again, I've said this plenty of
402
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,080
times on podcast.
Just cried.
403
00:17:58,130 --> 00:18:00,560
Just absolutely.
Just because it was just
404
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,360
unbelievable because you can
tell the difference.
405
00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:05,450
He's been doing gassy farts,
smiles forever, you know,
406
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:06,450
Little.
Yeah, a little.
407
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:08,630
Turn up at the cheeks.
He's trying to push out a fart
408
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:09,590
or something.
Yeah, yeah.
409
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,210
But this was, you know, him
responding to, like, me being
410
00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:14,530
silly and saying his name and
his whole face lit up.
411
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:18,430
And I was reading them a story.
I was reading a book and it was
412
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,080
just so special.
It was just so crazy.
413
00:18:20,090 --> 00:18:23,290
And now I've got this really
strong urge to constantly read
414
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:25,160
to him as well because it
happened when we were reading
415
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:27,890
the book and, yeah, I don't
know, it's, it's a weird one.
416
00:18:28,310 --> 00:18:30,590
One thing I was gonna ask you,
because you were a bit sceptical
417
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:32,830
about reading, weren't you?
Like in the womb and stuff.
418
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:36,200
Yeah I mean it sense.
I don't I I always took the mic
419
00:18:36,210 --> 00:18:38,230
but it doesn't make sense like
well yeah.
420
00:18:38,270 --> 00:18:40,240
Should I read in the room
because they just developing.
421
00:18:40,250 --> 00:18:44,280
Is there any point umm have you
have you had any urges yet to
422
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:48,400
kind of do things that you don't
think necessarily make logical
423
00:18:48,410 --> 00:18:51,000
sense Before baby came but now
babies here you're like ohh, I'd
424
00:18:51,010 --> 00:18:53,270
want to do all the things.
Well, I guess the reading is
425
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,680
kind of one because I, and I
guess it's more it's not.
426
00:18:55,690 --> 00:18:57,560
I have a problem with reading.
I just knew that it was just
427
00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,040
about them hearing your voice
and language.
428
00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:01,200
It's not about them reading an
actual book.
429
00:19:01,210 --> 00:19:03,120
Yeah, enjoying the book because.
You talking to them?
430
00:19:03,170 --> 00:19:05,290
That's a good idea.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
431
00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:08,000
Like that's not the key bit,
It's the voice like interaction.
432
00:19:08,070 --> 00:19:09,980
So I have been, I have been
making sure I did that a lot,
433
00:19:09,990 --> 00:19:14,820
like really just talking to her
just all the time trying to sort
434
00:19:14,830 --> 00:19:16,940
of especially when she's awake,
sort of trying to really lock
435
00:19:16,950 --> 00:19:19,640
eyes.
Cuz I heard that they get from a
436
00:19:19,650 --> 00:19:21,350
lot of that connection for eye
contact.
437
00:19:21,390 --> 00:19:24,280
So really trying to just hold
our eye contact and talk to her.
438
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,680
We've got those little black and
white cards just like trying to
439
00:19:26,690 --> 00:19:29,450
stimulate her vision.
And she responded to her first
440
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:32,340
time a little bit today, like I
did it on like day one.
441
00:19:32,420 --> 00:19:34,740
She's just she's literally a
potato at this point.
442
00:19:34,830 --> 00:19:39,230
Can't see like past their own
hand and I'm like 7 times 6 God.
443
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:43,540
Look at these black ducks on a
white background and but today I
444
00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:46,030
gave her some like stripey
patterns and things and her she
445
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:49,070
was I was moving it and she
really was like tracking it and
446
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,730
and looking I was thinking these
are cool little things like they
447
00:19:51,740 --> 00:19:54,430
probably they probably do
nothing but I just think
448
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:57,130
whatever is making a look at
something so that's cool I'll do
449
00:19:57,140 --> 00:19:59,570
that.
It doesn't matter.
450
00:19:59,610 --> 00:20:01,710
It doesn't matter because the
end of the day you're gonna
451
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:03,590
you're gonna grasp on to to
anything.
452
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,390
I think we we could chat and
chat and chat and chat.
453
00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:08,790
Let's round this off because you
know, we wanna go and see our
454
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:09,810
children, wanna go see our
little.
455
00:20:09,820 --> 00:20:12,290
Baby, here we are.
Look, I've got there's two ways
456
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:14,570
around this off there's one we
can do one, something really,
457
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:16,490
really real about the NHS, and
we can have a proper
458
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:18,190
conversation about that.
We could save that for another
459
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,620
time.
Or we can just talk a couple of
460
00:20:20,630 --> 00:20:24,670
more funny stories about baby,
because I do kind of want to say
461
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,770
something about about baby
weeping and pooing.
462
00:20:28,940 --> 00:20:30,670
OK.
Do you think the NHS thing we
463
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:32,890
could do in like 3 minutes, 4
minutes?
464
00:20:32,990 --> 00:20:37,200
No, I think there's a big
conversation and I actually
465
00:20:37,210 --> 00:20:39,360
thinking now it's a hook to come
and listen to our next episode
466
00:20:39,370 --> 00:20:41,020
whenever that's gonna be quite
tired.
467
00:20:41,650 --> 00:20:43,760
Really.
Thought you just say yes.
468
00:20:44,490 --> 00:20:47,260
I realised I was like actually
that's a proper, that's a proper
469
00:20:47,270 --> 00:20:49,830
serious meat conversation about
like systems and things because
470
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,460
I do want to talk about it.
We had a both an amazing
471
00:20:52,470 --> 00:20:57,210
experience but also on on an
objective level also made us put
472
00:20:57,220 --> 00:20:59,010
us in a really bad position
where we could potentially have
473
00:20:59,020 --> 00:21:00,730
lost our baby.
And that's a really, really,
474
00:21:00,740 --> 00:21:02,640
really big and difficult
conversation to have and maybe
475
00:21:02,650 --> 00:21:05,090
we'll save that one.
So for now, let's talk about
476
00:21:05,260 --> 00:21:07,400
That's about paying poo.
Let's get let's get light
477
00:21:07,410 --> 00:21:09,710
hearted, shall we?
So going back in time a bit,
478
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:11,230
right?
I remember when you had me in
479
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,450
Stitches and everyone that was
listening.
480
00:21:13,460 --> 00:21:15,690
If you haven't listened to the
episode, by the way, where about
481
00:21:15,700 --> 00:21:18,570
Dylan becoming a dad?
I What was it called the
482
00:21:18,580 --> 00:21:20,510
episode?
Of becoming a parent and
483
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,750
celebrating farts.
Something like that, yeah.
484
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,730
You have to go and listen to it.
It's by far our best episode in
485
00:21:25,740 --> 00:21:27,970
terms of just pure laughter
anyway.
486
00:21:27,980 --> 00:21:31,500
But you told a story about Rory
just like peeing all over you.
487
00:21:31,510 --> 00:21:32,930
That's one of your many stories,
right?
488
00:21:32,940 --> 00:21:35,580
And and I remember thinking I'm
so glad I'm having a girl
489
00:21:36,270 --> 00:21:39,520
because with boys obviously they
got that little Willy just going
490
00:21:39,530 --> 00:21:40,800
everywhere.
Just being everywhere you know
491
00:21:40,810 --> 00:21:44,640
little hose pipe.
Yes, I was thinking ohh, at
492
00:21:44,650 --> 00:21:47,050
least I've got a girl.
And I do know that you know
493
00:21:47,060 --> 00:21:49,320
quite often when you take
nappies off children they like
494
00:21:49,330 --> 00:21:51,310
to wee cause it's cold.
It's that stimulus especially
495
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:52,330
with like a wet wipe or
something.
496
00:21:52,340 --> 00:21:56,250
They just wanna wee and I have
been weed on so many times
497
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,930
already and.
Before the birth.
498
00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:03,760
Yeah, but this is one time I
just want to tell you about
499
00:22:03,770 --> 00:22:06,620
because it made me laugh
thinking of you and Rory where I
500
00:22:06,630 --> 00:22:10,110
was changing her nappy and I'd
already I'd thought, ohh, well
501
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:12,580
at least she's not got a Willy,
you know, if she wishes she
502
00:22:12,590 --> 00:22:15,530
wees.
And I pulled her legs back and I
503
00:22:15,540 --> 00:22:21,510
swear to God, she projectile
peed all over everything, like
504
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:23,510
all over me, all over the map.
And I was.
505
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:24,930
I just.
I looked at her and thought, I
506
00:22:24,940 --> 00:22:29,430
can't believe I I thought I'd
got away with this and she's
507
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:32,100
just peeing everywhere, like
just feel like a fountain.
508
00:22:32,230 --> 00:22:34,660
Is that even this, this is where
we really show our, you know,
509
00:22:34,670 --> 00:22:36,700
male bias here?
Is that a thing?
510
00:22:36,870 --> 00:22:37,620
Like really?
I mean.
511
00:22:37,990 --> 00:22:39,860
This woman listening to this
guy, I can do that.
512
00:22:39,870 --> 00:22:43,260
We can about possible.
I mean, I'm gonna guess it
513
00:22:43,270 --> 00:22:44,350
depends on how bursting you
work.
514
00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:45,440
That was the biggest wish you
had.
515
00:22:45,510 --> 00:22:47,650
All the other ones have been a
little trickles have not been a
516
00:22:47,660 --> 00:22:49,440
problem.
So all this time, women could
517
00:22:49,450 --> 00:22:50,850
have used the urinal.
Is that what we're saying?
518
00:22:50,860 --> 00:22:51,860
Yeah, basically.
Women.
519
00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:55,220
Are you having us on?
We're on to you now.
520
00:22:55,410 --> 00:22:58,800
You just wanna fancy cubicle?
Ohh, we need it.
521
00:22:58,810 --> 00:22:59,870
We need it.
We can't aim.
522
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:01,700
Yes you can.
Yes you can.
523
00:23:01,710 --> 00:23:03,860
That's seen.
It, Revit and AIM, all you have
524
00:23:03,870 --> 00:23:06,860
to do is lean back legs in the
air.
525
00:23:06,870 --> 00:23:09,640
It's really easy.
OK, well, no, we're no, we're
526
00:23:09,650 --> 00:23:12,020
not gonna stop mansplaining.
How to wee to half the
527
00:23:12,030 --> 00:23:14,220
population.
Just love the idea of that being
528
00:23:14,330 --> 00:23:16,020
a legitimate way that people go
to the toilet.
529
00:23:16,620 --> 00:23:18,240
Ohh yeah.
Has anyone got the changing mat
530
00:23:18,250 --> 00:23:19,390
room?
I just need the big giant
531
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:20,900
changing maps we're gonna lay
down.
532
00:23:22,900 --> 00:23:24,350
Maybe that's the secret of the
women.
533
00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:25,470
I've never been in there.
Maybe.
534
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,540
Maybe that's what happens.
It's like archery on the ceiling
535
00:23:27,550 --> 00:23:30,070
or something and just lie down.
You get 10 points.
536
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,850
I don't know.
I don't know Ohh man.
537
00:23:32,860 --> 00:23:35,000
But I wanted to shout with you
because it did make me laugh.
538
00:23:35,010 --> 00:23:37,290
I thought I got away with it.
I didn't.
539
00:23:37,340 --> 00:23:38,850
I didn't.
But there'll be plenty more We
540
00:23:38,860 --> 00:23:43,740
and Poo stories, I'm sure.
I think we MP stories always go
541
00:23:43,750 --> 00:23:46,540
down a treat.
This is a bite size episode.
542
00:23:46,610 --> 00:23:48,930
Like we said, you know, we're
gonna aim to try and get a real
543
00:23:48,940 --> 00:23:51,180
episode done this week, but it
just might not happen guys and
544
00:23:51,190 --> 00:23:53,000
I'm sure you can appreciate why
that's the case.
545
00:23:53,010 --> 00:23:54,600
So we, you know, we'll be in
touch.
546
00:23:54,690 --> 00:23:57,610
One last thing I wanted to say
before we go, a fantastic week
547
00:23:57,620 --> 00:24:00,360
for our Instagram for our
following have over 1000
548
00:24:00,370 --> 00:24:03,160
followers now on our Instagram
page dedicated to the podcast.
549
00:24:03,170 --> 00:24:05,720
If you're one of the new
listeners, you're an absolute
550
00:24:05,730 --> 00:24:07,080
legend.
Send us a message, because I've
551
00:24:07,090 --> 00:24:09,860
been getting messages, Hayden,
from messages that I've said to
552
00:24:09,870 --> 00:24:13,450
people about six months ago.
Previous podcast where I said
553
00:24:13,500 --> 00:24:17,160
send this an emoji that's come
up you know the the episode so
554
00:24:17,170 --> 00:24:20,470
far I got a seal and a panda and
I was like what what is this
555
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:24,440
what you ohh just clicked and
there's one last thing I wanna
556
00:24:24,450 --> 00:24:26,930
ask for Hayden.
I'm not asked for in a while.
557
00:24:26,970 --> 00:24:29,920
I bet you can probably guess
what it might be because we had
558
00:24:29,930 --> 00:24:32,800
a flurry of them when it was at
the start and we got a really
559
00:24:32,810 --> 00:24:35,880
high number of reviews, and
reviews really help us out.
560
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,240
We've been stuck on the same
number for a little while now.
561
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,530
If you're a listener, you've
been listening for a while, and
562
00:24:40,540 --> 00:24:43,780
you haven't done it yet, please
do consider giving us a bit of
563
00:24:43,850 --> 00:24:46,450
think of the children.
Yeah, think of the think of the
564
00:24:46,460 --> 00:24:47,330
children.
Would you?
565
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:49,280
Are you going to deny a child a
review?
566
00:24:50,850 --> 00:24:53,270
Don't know about that.
Don't know because my real tell
567
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:54,610
them.
We will tell them.
568
00:24:54,620 --> 00:24:56,330
We're feeding them.
That's you didn't give us a
569
00:24:56,340 --> 00:24:59,570
review, You'll make them cry, so
I think that's fair enough.
570
00:24:59,580 --> 00:25:01,870
That's a nice, polite way to ask
our viewers.
571
00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:04,790
Customers as it were customers
and if you are viewing, I hope
572
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:06,630
you enjoyed it today.
There has been a little bit of
573
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,590
sick on my jumper this whole
time.
574
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:13,090
Anyone with a keen eye.
So another reason to get a view
575
00:25:13,100 --> 00:25:16,350
in these episodes, Guys, you're
missing out.
576
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,130
Number one, top tip, Do not wear
black when you're nursing a
577
00:25:19,140 --> 00:25:22,090
child.
Or both actually.
578
00:25:22,100 --> 00:25:23,920
Just don't wear clothes because
they just get ruined so.
579
00:25:23,930 --> 00:25:25,780
You're right.
Top ten anyway, right?
580
00:25:25,970 --> 00:25:27,180
Anyway, should we wrap it up
there?
581
00:25:27,190 --> 00:25:28,720
Guys, Thank you so much for
listening.
582
00:25:28,910 --> 00:25:31,020
I'm going to leave it with
Hayden to sign us off with his
583
00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:33,240
sleep deprived little head.
Cool.
584
00:25:34,620 --> 00:25:36,110
See you later.
Thanks everyone.
00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:01,860
Hello everyone.
Welcome back to another bite
2
00:00:01,870 --> 00:00:03,590
sized episode of Teach Stick
Repeat.
3
00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,830
My name is Dylan.
And my name is Hayden.
4
00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:10,170
And this is a very, very
exciting episode because after
5
00:00:10,180 --> 00:00:12,110
months and months of not
mentioning it once in the
6
00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:14,270
podcast, because we just didn't
want to open that kind of worms,
7
00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:20,160
this is officially the first
podcast where we are both moved
8
00:00:20,170 --> 00:00:22,870
house.
Ohh, brilliant.
9
00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:25,650
I really thought I was gonna be
a good good little segment
10
00:00:25,660 --> 00:00:26,570
there.
Well done, darling.
11
00:00:26,580 --> 00:00:27,370
You really?
I'm sorry.
12
00:00:27,380 --> 00:00:27,980
Go on, Hayden.
What's?
13
00:00:27,990 --> 00:00:30,450
Happened.
We are both now officially dads.
14
00:00:30,460 --> 00:00:32,930
If you've been following our
podcast you will know that we've
15
00:00:32,940 --> 00:00:35,230
talked about a bit about it in
the past and obviously Dylan
16
00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:39,790
became a dad and I was very
close and now we're both dads.
17
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:42,450
We're in that world.
So Dylan, we're grown up now.
18
00:00:42,620 --> 00:00:45,910
Our podcast is going to be a lot
more sensible, wise, you could
19
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,850
say from now on how much has.
She pooed.
20
00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:52,330
Mate, she pooed in my hand.
Day One.
21
00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:55,690
Day one.
I couldn't believe it.
22
00:00:55,780 --> 00:00:59,190
Ohh it was brilliant I suppose
the what I what I wanted to
23
00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,640
start with because ohh it's
really exciting let's just
24
00:01:01,650 --> 00:01:04,530
Galloway is is like mega
exciting like you know I've had
25
00:01:04,540 --> 00:01:06,710
another friend who's recently
had a baby as well.
26
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,250
My friend grew over the last
like 2345 years.
27
00:01:10,380 --> 00:01:12,670
It's been it's been an influx of
babies but there is just
28
00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:16,090
something about you and I having
our first babies at the same
29
00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:19,070
time where we do spend so much
time together.
30
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:22,630
It's been, it's been really nice
to just immediately have, like
31
00:01:22,770 --> 00:01:24,070
the barriers down.
Do you know what I mean?
32
00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:26,850
There's there's no, there's
nothing out of bounds.
33
00:01:26,860 --> 00:01:29,210
And what I wanted to do to start
with was just draw your
34
00:01:29,220 --> 00:01:32,530
attention back to our episode.
I think it was three or four ago
35
00:01:32,540 --> 00:01:34,870
becoming apparent when when I
did my first one.
36
00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:38,170
And I just want to ask you now,
you've had your baby.
37
00:01:38,260 --> 00:01:41,090
Yeah.
How, like, do you see what I was
38
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:43,790
saying in a different light or
does it make more sense now?
39
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,330
Like, what's your What's your
reaction?
40
00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:48,340
Well, I say two things.
Firstly, one thing on the bit
41
00:01:48,350 --> 00:01:51,260
you just talking about, right?
So loads of people, I know
42
00:01:51,270 --> 00:01:53,150
you've had the same loads of
people have said to me.
43
00:01:53,220 --> 00:01:56,680
How did you plan it?
Did you and Dylan plan this to
44
00:01:56,690 --> 00:01:58,540
have at the same time?
And I'm like, no, we didn't plan
45
00:01:58,550 --> 00:01:59,560
it.
It just kind of happened.
46
00:01:59,610 --> 00:02:01,790
But like, subconsciously, it's
funny cause I do wonder.
47
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:04,620
We probably did start talking
about starting families and
48
00:02:04,630 --> 00:02:05,700
things.
Hmm.
49
00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:07,850
And then, you know, that seed
was sort of there.
50
00:02:07,860 --> 00:02:11,740
Like, you know, we didn't plan
it, but yes, we planned it, we
51
00:02:11,750 --> 00:02:13,570
didn't plan it, but yes, we put
a date in the diary for
52
00:02:13,580 --> 00:02:18,640
conception.
And someone else said, didn't I?
53
00:02:18,690 --> 00:02:21,160
Did we plan the names?
I know, I know.
54
00:02:21,170 --> 00:02:23,500
So the names for anyone who
isn't up to date.
55
00:02:23,630 --> 00:02:25,340
I'm sorry.
If you listen to the podcast,
56
00:02:25,350 --> 00:02:27,580
you know my son's called Rory.
Go on and on about it.
57
00:02:27,670 --> 00:02:31,600
And your daughter is called.
River so it just it just goes
58
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:34,090
together so perfectly.
So yeah, no, you're right,
59
00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:37,580
Hayden, It's it is just, it
feels right.
60
00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:39,510
It feels nice.
So what else are you going to
61
00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:40,610
say?
About that, yeah, back to like
62
00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:43,120
your actual question.
So obviously because you had
63
00:02:43,390 --> 00:02:47,460
Rory 6 weeks ago, is that right
now I7 weeks?
64
00:02:47,470 --> 00:02:50,930
Seven weeks ago and obviously
because we're quite close, it
65
00:02:50,940 --> 00:02:54,180
had, it was actually really,
really, really helpful because
66
00:02:54,190 --> 00:02:56,810
you kind of went for it all
first and I was taking a lot of
67
00:02:56,820 --> 00:02:59,840
mental notes of things you were
saying and reactions you were
68
00:02:59,850 --> 00:03:02,260
having and kind of how many days
were passing when you were doing
69
00:03:02,270 --> 00:03:03,670
certain things or feeling
certain ways.
70
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:06,040
And it was really helpful.
It's been really helpful for us.
71
00:03:06,050 --> 00:03:08,710
We're only like a few days in.
I literally have.
72
00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,790
I'm losing track.
I guess we're five days in.
73
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,950
It's all one massive blurry day
to me at the moment.
74
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,770
I can't really fathom the fact
that it's been.
75
00:03:17,860 --> 00:03:21,050
More than a day.
But it's been nice because that
76
00:03:21,060 --> 00:03:23,690
there have been times where I'm
like, no, no, OK, right.
77
00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:25,000
You know, Dylan, Dylan said he
had.
78
00:03:25,010 --> 00:03:26,980
But like, yeah, I'm having a
breakdown.
79
00:03:26,990 --> 00:03:29,200
Basically.
I'm thinking, Oh my God, I
80
00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:31,120
almost had a breakdown.
I'm not even joking.
81
00:03:32,990 --> 00:03:37,420
In the hospital.
We had the baby and it was the
82
00:03:37,430 --> 00:03:41,580
first night after, so we had the
baby basically in the middle of
83
00:03:41,590 --> 00:03:43,760
the night anyway.
So the next night comes across
84
00:03:44,070 --> 00:03:48,240
and I was unbelievably tired,
you know, and exactly how you
85
00:03:48,250 --> 00:03:49,500
said you were feeling like it
was.
86
00:03:49,510 --> 00:03:51,220
I was like that delirious level
of.
87
00:03:51,860 --> 00:03:54,480
I'm so, so, so tired.
I've had two hours sleep in
88
00:03:54,490 --> 00:03:57,610
about 48 hours at this point,
and the baby is just screaming,
89
00:03:57,620 --> 00:03:59,270
just wailing, and I'm like,
cool.
90
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,920
I have no training.
I have no idea what to do with
91
00:04:01,930 --> 00:04:04,330
this thing.
It's just here screaming at me.
92
00:04:04,380 --> 00:04:06,910
Like Lauren's absolutely
knackered as well.
93
00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:08,710
Next to me, she's just had a
C-section.
94
00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,230
And honestly, I felt like
crying.
95
00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:12,920
I was like, I I don't know what
to do.
96
00:04:12,930 --> 00:04:16,800
I'm sat on a blue chair of doom
thinking, I've gotta I can't
97
00:04:16,810 --> 00:04:20,760
even sleep on this thing anyway.
Bar man and I nearly I nearly
98
00:04:20,769 --> 00:04:23,560
had a complete breakdown at that
point but I did sort of think
99
00:04:23,570 --> 00:04:26,220
Ohh Dylan said this as well and
then he was OK.
100
00:04:26,710 --> 00:04:32,290
So there is there is something
about shared pain like because I
101
00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:36,120
think I don't know how you feel
about this because I'm trying to
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00:04:36,130 --> 00:04:38,380
be as candid as possible because
I think it would have really
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00:04:38,390 --> 00:04:39,820
helped me.
I've heard more people being
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00:04:39,830 --> 00:04:43,500
this candid because you always
get, you know, those types where
105
00:04:43,510 --> 00:04:45,730
we talked about it before.
They kind of grind you down a
106
00:04:45,740 --> 00:04:48,180
bit when they say, oh, just you
wait for this, It's good.
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00:04:48,190 --> 00:04:50,220
It's going to be awful.
It's going to be bloody awful.
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00:04:50,230 --> 00:04:52,270
And that used to annoy us,
didn't we used to speak about
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00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:53,140
that.
And yeah, you know, it was
110
00:04:53,150 --> 00:04:55,790
really refreshing when someone
said ohh, yeah, but you know,
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00:04:55,870 --> 00:04:57,440
you are gonna have your own
child.
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00:04:57,450 --> 00:04:59,100
It's gonna be amazing for all
these reasons.
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00:04:59,150 --> 00:05:01,880
There are some positives, yeah.
Yeah, there are exactly.
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00:05:01,890 --> 00:05:03,580
There are positives.
But I don't know.
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00:05:03,590 --> 00:05:08,620
I still felt in that first
couple of weeks that I could
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00:05:08,630 --> 00:05:12,740
have just done with a bit more
of someone being really honest
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00:05:12,750 --> 00:05:17,760
about how hard it is, Like it's
so incredibly hard and tricky
118
00:05:17,770 --> 00:05:20,520
and that it's OK to feel
annoyed.
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00:05:20,650 --> 00:05:25,520
It's OK to get angry at times
inside yourself because your
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00:05:25,530 --> 00:05:28,460
your clock, it's just completely
thrown off your entire life.
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00:05:28,470 --> 00:05:30,550
Like, yeah, you gonna have those
moments where you look into your
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00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:32,620
baby's eyes and it's the best
feeling in the world.
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00:05:32,730 --> 00:05:35,220
But objectively, it's really
tough.
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00:05:35,230 --> 00:05:38,800
And I think it's nice at least
to hear that you feel like you
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00:05:38,850 --> 00:05:42,100
can at least reflect on that and
be like, well, it's OK that it's
126
00:05:42,110 --> 00:05:44,020
not going to make it better
immediately, but it's OK that
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00:05:44,030 --> 00:05:45,760
it's hard.
Yeah, because someone else I
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00:05:45,770 --> 00:05:48,460
know has also experienced this
and it just, it just validates,
129
00:05:48,470 --> 00:05:51,100
validates your feelings just
that little bit.
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00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:52,720
More, because you do get
insecure.
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00:05:52,730 --> 00:05:55,140
It's just a thing.
Like it's it's all brand new to
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00:05:55,150 --> 00:05:56,510
us.
Of course we're insecure.
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00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:58,560
We'd have no idea if we're doing
the right things or not.
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00:05:58,810 --> 00:06:01,120
So to know that someone else did
it, even just one person, is
135
00:06:01,130 --> 00:06:03,450
like, OK, well at least someone
else has done this.
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00:06:03,460 --> 00:06:05,620
So it's not completely like
we're not just completely alone
137
00:06:05,630 --> 00:06:08,620
in this.
Yeah, it's weird, it's isolating
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00:06:08,630 --> 00:06:13,700
in a way, but it's but the nice
sides of it, like it brought me
139
00:06:13,710 --> 00:06:16,640
and Lauren even closer than ever
before because it's a proper
140
00:06:16,650 --> 00:06:18,570
team effort.
Like we have to work together on
141
00:06:18,580 --> 00:06:21,140
this.
We're starting to tag team just
142
00:06:21,150 --> 00:06:22,770
to get some sleep.
Do you know what I mean?
143
00:06:22,820 --> 00:06:24,840
And and we're working that out
between us and.
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00:06:25,530 --> 00:06:27,100
I don't know.
It's just it's been really, I've
145
00:06:27,110 --> 00:06:29,460
really, really really enjoyed
the process so far.
146
00:06:29,770 --> 00:06:33,260
And I have had those few moments
where I, you know, I I I wanted
147
00:06:33,270 --> 00:06:35,830
to literally run away.
I was like, I can't cope with
148
00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:37,070
this.
It's not for me.
149
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:38,480
I'm not the person.
It's not for me.
150
00:06:38,490 --> 00:06:40,100
I'm gonna that's it.
I'm done.
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00:06:40,330 --> 00:06:44,120
But yeah, like you said, you
look into her eyes or you feed
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00:06:44,130 --> 00:06:45,580
her.
I don't know is that feeding?
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00:06:45,590 --> 00:06:48,500
But Ohh, man, like just such
like a bond, isn't it?
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00:06:48,610 --> 00:06:51,700
Especially I tell you something,
you know speaking candid then
155
00:06:51,710 --> 00:06:52,960
something I really struggled
with.
156
00:06:52,970 --> 00:06:56,070
And so did Lauren, and she won't
mind me saying this.
157
00:06:56,730 --> 00:07:00,380
Is we had quite a rough start as
you know and I won't go into the
158
00:07:00,390 --> 00:07:03,830
details of that, but we had an
emergency C-section as most
159
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:08,290
people probably know what that
is and because of the situation
160
00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:10,400
and it be in the middle of the
night and it wasn't when we
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00:07:10,410 --> 00:07:12,680
planned to.
We had a planned C-section, but
162
00:07:12,690 --> 00:07:14,500
this wasn't the day.
This was an emergency.
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00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:19,950
And the the baby, you know, came
out and Lauren and I just both.
164
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:23,070
We just didn't connect with her.
Straight away.
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00:07:23,750 --> 00:07:26,220
And obviously we felt really
guilty for that because people
166
00:07:26,230 --> 00:07:29,180
always talk about the connection
that you feel straight away and
167
00:07:29,190 --> 00:07:33,980
we just didn't because we were
like, whoa. 1/2 an hour ago we
168
00:07:33,990 --> 00:07:36,410
were in bed asleep like and we
were dreaming about what we
169
00:07:36,420 --> 00:07:38,320
think this baby is gonna look
like, looked like and we had
170
00:07:38,330 --> 00:07:41,490
this image in our head.
And you know, individually for
171
00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:43,590
both of us And then suddenly
there was like, you go, here it
172
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:44,850
is.
And we were like, ohh OK, this
173
00:07:44,860 --> 00:07:46,150
this is not our baby.
This isn't it.
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00:07:46,210 --> 00:07:47,920
This isn't the plan.
That's not what she looks like.
175
00:07:48,830 --> 00:07:51,060
And it would just didn't have
the connection straight away
176
00:07:51,590 --> 00:07:53,480
because she didn't look like
what we thought she was.
177
00:07:53,490 --> 00:07:56,200
So that was really weird.
But it has come over time.
178
00:07:56,210 --> 00:08:01,200
I think it took a bit longer for
Lauren because she has just been
179
00:08:01,210 --> 00:08:04,800
sliced open and like she's
healing from that.
180
00:08:04,890 --> 00:08:07,460
Didn't get any bonding time at
the start because she's
181
00:08:07,470 --> 00:08:10,480
recovering from that and you
know the the midwives and I'm,
182
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:13,360
I'm getting those little cuddly
moments and but for Lauren, it's
183
00:08:13,370 --> 00:08:14,920
like, ohh, she's crying now.
Here you go.
184
00:08:14,970 --> 00:08:17,640
Try breastfeeding and yeah, and
it's like, that's not nice,
185
00:08:17,650 --> 00:08:21,500
really.
But now like we're a few days in
186
00:08:21,570 --> 00:08:24,180
that that bond is starting to
get really strong and and I'm
187
00:08:24,190 --> 00:08:27,900
just, I'm I'm enjoying watching
it in Lauren as well like her
188
00:08:27,910 --> 00:08:30,630
and River as much as I have
experienced it as well.
189
00:08:30,850 --> 00:08:33,490
So I don't know if it because
what about you guys with the
190
00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:35,480
whole bonding like was that a
thing for you or did you feel
191
00:08:35,490 --> 00:08:39,070
more of an immediate connection.
Again I don't know it's tricky
192
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:42,460
one because again linking back
to you what your experience we
193
00:08:42,470 --> 00:08:46,360
we also had C-section and it's
just you know everyone, everyone
194
00:08:46,370 --> 00:08:48,540
who's involved or knows about
the processes.
195
00:08:48,550 --> 00:08:51,620
Whenever you have a C-section
mum is just more incapacitated
196
00:08:51,630 --> 00:08:54,890
for longer and and has to
recover because natural birth
197
00:08:54,900 --> 00:08:57,020
it's what your body is designed
to do is and it's terrific
198
00:08:57,030 --> 00:08:59,980
process and it hurts a lot but
you can very quickly bounce back
199
00:08:59,990 --> 00:09:03,780
from that and be up and going.
So for me, for us, it was a
200
00:09:03,790 --> 00:09:07,920
weird one because for days and
days and days, probably weeks
201
00:09:07,930 --> 00:09:09,840
still.
I suppose now because looking
202
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:13,720
back at the first two weeks is
just blurred into one, I could
203
00:09:13,730 --> 00:09:16,420
not tell you anything different
about day one to day fourteen
204
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,480
thing.
Yeah, like it is the exact same
205
00:09:18,490 --> 00:09:21,630
thing.
It was just I'm doing everything
206
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:25,010
as as I should be because mum's
recovering and that means that
207
00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:29,470
if babies crying, I have to get
baby and I have to give baby to
208
00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:32,910
mum so mum can soothe baby.
And we tried breastfeeding for a
209
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,580
long while at the start, so that
meant mum was up constantly
210
00:09:35,590 --> 00:09:38,150
breastfeeding but couldn't move
properly because she still sore.
211
00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:41,110
And so I, you know, I was
passing, I was up, I was awake.
212
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:43,080
I was putting it down.
I was soothing her.
213
00:09:43,220 --> 00:09:47,830
You know, I just kind of went
into do everything mode and, you
214
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:52,070
know, we had the discussions
before about sleep deprivation
215
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:53,800
and hallucinations and things
like that.
216
00:09:53,850 --> 00:09:56,400
So that was very weird.
I didn't really have a chance to
217
00:09:56,410 --> 00:09:58,660
even think that I wasn't bonding
with him.
218
00:09:58,810 --> 00:09:59,500
Yeah.
Yeah.
219
00:09:59,510 --> 00:10:02,320
But I never ever felt, I never,
ever felt what you're saying.
220
00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:04,540
Personally.
I never felt like I didn't have
221
00:10:04,550 --> 00:10:08,300
that bond with him.
But again, definitely more true
222
00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:12,140
and more tricky rather with with
the mum, with Lauren, because
223
00:10:12,190 --> 00:10:16,840
like you know, and I think this
is true, it's it's amazing
224
00:10:17,010 --> 00:10:19,820
having those moments together
and it's amazing when you get to
225
00:10:19,830 --> 00:10:23,190
introduce your little one to
your family, to your to to your
226
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,930
people who you want to see her
and him.
227
00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:30,590
So that was a weird process
though because amazing for us to
228
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,760
see Rory with his grandparents,
see Rory with his aunties, see
229
00:10:33,770 --> 00:10:36,240
Rory with, you know, are good
friends with you guys, you know
230
00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:38,130
everyone who's come to see him
so far.
231
00:10:38,460 --> 00:10:41,530
But you know, Lauren would say
after a few hours of seeing
232
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:44,690
people, it it felt sometimes a
bit like, you know.
233
00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:48,590
Like he was a bit of a toy it
it's not nice and and then what
234
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:51,330
would happen is he'd be lovingly
in the arms of someone and we'd
235
00:10:51,340 --> 00:10:54,180
see that and I always need so
restful and cute and then only
236
00:10:54,190 --> 00:10:56,550
when he starts fussing do we
take take over.
237
00:10:56,700 --> 00:10:59,730
So yeah, it became very much
like our time with him was
238
00:10:59,780 --> 00:11:04,210
soothing feeding then he was.
Asleep and so yeah it was it was
239
00:11:04,220 --> 00:11:06,830
it was you know we had to really
ring fence that time and just
240
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:10,020
yeah just say no to people
sometimes a bit like you know
241
00:11:10,030 --> 00:11:11,980
we're gonna have our we need a
day together.
242
00:11:11,990 --> 00:11:15,050
It's just does that really made
us feel better.
243
00:11:15,060 --> 00:11:16,190
So that helps with the bonding
as.
244
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,840
Well, but again you know you
going through that is I I know
245
00:11:18,850 --> 00:11:21,270
that happened and that's really
helped us because then yesterday
246
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,770
we were quite aware of that.
And we were like, no, no
247
00:11:23,780 --> 00:11:25,470
visitors because we just needed
that day.
248
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,720
And we did it way earlier than
maybe you did because we learned
249
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:28,940
from you.
Yeah.
250
00:11:28,950 --> 00:11:31,410
So that was really nice.
And we and we just, we did.
251
00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:34,390
We just, we stayed in bed
probably till like two, 2:00 PM.
252
00:11:34,740 --> 00:11:37,390
But all the time it was just
constantly, you just getting up
253
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:38,770
and doing things.
But then it was like, OK, let's
254
00:11:38,780 --> 00:11:40,120
go back, let's go, let's go and
chill.
255
00:11:40,130 --> 00:11:42,340
Let's relax.
And we had some really nice
256
00:11:42,350 --> 00:11:44,940
moments.
Like, I'm a really tactile
257
00:11:44,950 --> 00:11:47,590
person.
You always try and touch me.
258
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:48,430
It's, it's.
Me.
259
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,520
Yeah, only around you.
And man, I just.
260
00:11:51,530 --> 00:11:55,340
It literally melts me.
I've melted these last few days
261
00:11:55,580 --> 00:12:00,020
because I've been sat there with
her in my lap and she's in a bit
262
00:12:00,030 --> 00:12:02,700
of a wake window, but she's
chilled like she's just fed as
263
00:12:02,710 --> 00:12:04,960
well.
I'm just like stroking her
264
00:12:04,970 --> 00:12:06,480
little face and all stroking
her.
265
00:12:06,490 --> 00:12:09,410
She's got a massive the head of
hair, believe it or not, just
266
00:12:09,420 --> 00:12:11,180
stroking her hair and watching
her little eyes.
267
00:12:11,190 --> 00:12:13,770
That thing where they sort of
close and they and they roll
268
00:12:13,780 --> 00:12:15,120
into the back of her head where
she's just.
269
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:18,270
Relax.
And I'm, uh, it's just so
270
00:12:18,340 --> 00:12:21,550
special.
I I can't get over how I feel
271
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:23,660
because I really, I didn't think
I would.
272
00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:27,970
So I'm one of those people who
on the lead up to it and this is
273
00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:30,460
gonna sound really harsh, but
it's not.
274
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:33,730
I was starting to worry if I was
going to regret this genuinely
275
00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:37,550
because there is data out there
that stuff like a lot of people
276
00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:39,140
regret being parents and things
like that.
277
00:12:39,150 --> 00:12:42,790
It's just thinking, yeah, I was
like I could be one of them.
278
00:12:42,850 --> 00:12:44,940
I don't know yet.
I am a bit worried.
279
00:12:44,950 --> 00:12:47,170
I'm quite selfish like.
You like my own time.
280
00:12:47,180 --> 00:12:51,310
I like my evenings where I get
to do what I want uninterrupted.
281
00:12:51,660 --> 00:12:53,410
And I was really starting to
panic.
282
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:57,180
I know.
And I also, I've never been a
283
00:12:57,190 --> 00:12:59,480
big fan of babies.
Like I just, I don't care if a
284
00:12:59,490 --> 00:13:01,630
babies.
I've never been around them and
285
00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,220
I've and I'm not really
interested in them.
286
00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:05,080
Well, it's all I've done was the
way you did it.
287
00:13:05,570 --> 00:13:08,250
I know this is what I'm talking.
So I was really scared like
288
00:13:08,260 --> 00:13:10,020
that.
I was thinking, have I just done
289
00:13:10,030 --> 00:13:13,190
the thing because that classic,
like societies made you do this
290
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,280
thing and now you think that's
the thing to do?
291
00:13:15,530 --> 00:13:17,380
And I was really, really,
really, really worried.
292
00:13:17,450 --> 00:13:22,400
And I can't believe how secure I
am in thinking that's not me.
293
00:13:22,570 --> 00:13:25,040
I've got, I've got, I've got to
come in because you said this
294
00:13:25,050 --> 00:13:27,050
thing to me.
And I think this will put a lot
295
00:13:27,060 --> 00:13:28,960
of people's mind at ease,
hopefully, if they're going
296
00:13:28,970 --> 00:13:30,640
through the same process and
having the same kind of
297
00:13:30,650 --> 00:13:33,190
anxieties as you.
Because, you know, we've always
298
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,700
had this discussion leading up
me and you've been very
299
00:13:35,710 --> 00:13:37,420
different.
I've always had cousins in the
300
00:13:37,430 --> 00:13:38,890
family who are babies.
I've always felt very
301
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:40,690
comfortable around babies, young
children.
302
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,930
I enjoy their company.
I like playing with them.
303
00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:45,320
I like holding them.
I I feel quite comfortable in
304
00:13:45,330 --> 00:13:46,450
that role.
And you've not had that.
305
00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:48,010
So we're very different there.
And we always had that
306
00:13:48,020 --> 00:13:51,010
conversation leading up where I
said to you it will be different
307
00:13:51,020 --> 00:13:53,180
when your baby comes.
It will, it will just, there'll
308
00:13:53,190 --> 00:13:56,450
be something that kicks in.
And it was really nice to just
309
00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,480
see that had happened.
Like, you know, see you with
310
00:13:58,490 --> 00:14:01,270
her, just she's crying And you,
you've picked her up about
311
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:03,800
thinking and you know, you're
soothing her or she's, you know,
312
00:14:03,870 --> 00:14:06,240
on your on your shoulder or
you're talking to her, you're
313
00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:07,200
feeding her.
Yeah.
314
00:14:07,210 --> 00:14:10,340
What can you like kind of
describe like how what what
315
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,920
happened like is from going from
one thought to she's here and
316
00:14:13,930 --> 00:14:17,240
now you're just doing it.
It's so bizarre because I still
317
00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:20,730
kind of feel the way I felt
about other, like strangers,
318
00:14:20,740 --> 00:14:22,180
children.
It's different with me and you
319
00:14:22,190 --> 00:14:24,280
because we're very close.
But if it was like someone I
320
00:14:24,290 --> 00:14:27,330
didn't know very well, I don't.
I think I'd still be the same.
321
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,540
Ohh, go away.
I don't know.
322
00:14:28,550 --> 00:14:31,810
Smelly newborn my baby near me
but with but with my baby it's
323
00:14:31,820 --> 00:14:35,020
like.
Ohh, she is just an extension of
324
00:14:35,030 --> 00:14:36,820
me.
It's so bizarre I can't even
325
00:14:36,830 --> 00:14:39,470
describe it, but I feel so
differently towards her.
326
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:43,210
Like, and I just really, really,
really want to be near her, like
327
00:14:43,220 --> 00:14:45,030
all the time.
I just want her there.
328
00:14:45,180 --> 00:14:47,400
And I was quite nervous that, as
you know about, like, you know,
329
00:14:47,410 --> 00:14:49,700
when when you introduced me to
Rory, I was quite nervous about
330
00:14:49,710 --> 00:14:51,810
holding him, picking him up.
Because I don't have any
331
00:14:51,820 --> 00:14:54,690
experience, but I think you're
just thrown into the deep end of
332
00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:56,590
it.
And I was sat there in hospital
333
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,300
thinking, it's my baby now.
Like, it's the stakes are
334
00:14:59,310 --> 00:15:01,700
different.
And not to say that you, if you
335
00:15:01,710 --> 00:15:03,730
drop your own baby, it's fine,
obviously not.
336
00:15:03,740 --> 00:15:06,150
But like if you slightly
mishandle your baby, you make
337
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:08,480
them cry a little bit.
You, you learn from it and it's
338
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,410
your baby if you do it to
someone else's a bit.
339
00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:11,800
Awkward.
Because it's like probably
340
00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:15,180
shouldn't have done that and it
was just like cool, just I just
341
00:15:15,190 --> 00:15:17,410
mucked in and it was just like
cool, get involved to do it.
342
00:15:17,420 --> 00:15:20,940
Your baby's there crying.
Give her a cuddle and see if she
343
00:15:20,950 --> 00:15:23,740
likes it.
And then within two days I
344
00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,980
realised I've spent 10 hours
manhandling this baby.
345
00:15:25,990 --> 00:15:27,270
And actually I'm quite good at
it now.
346
00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:29,270
And it's only been a few days.
And now I'm sort of like one
347
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:32,150
handed walking around the house,
swinging it around like trying
348
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:35,510
to keep her quiet and because
she liked that and I'm like, ohh
349
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:39,480
yeah, this I thought I couldn't
do this days ago and I feel much
350
00:15:39,490 --> 00:15:42,010
better now so.
Very, very weird experience.
351
00:15:42,020 --> 00:15:44,770
Very transformational.
I know it sounds quite profound
352
00:15:44,780 --> 00:15:47,800
but sappy from us because we're
normally taking the Mick, but it
353
00:15:47,810 --> 00:15:50,270
really is, it really is a
profound experience.
354
00:15:50,370 --> 00:15:54,310
I've absolutely loved it.
Like I'm I'm cherishing this
355
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:57,100
time at the moment.
Don't get me wrong.
356
00:15:57,110 --> 00:16:00,650
There are times when I just want
to walk out of and and shut 9
357
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:01,990
doors so I can't hear the
screaming.
358
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:06,190
But you know, that's normal.
Isn't it crazy?
359
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,700
I was just saying this to you
earlier.
360
00:16:07,710 --> 00:16:10,090
Isn't it absolutely crazy how
the time of day and your time
361
00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:11,870
this level can change,
completely change your
362
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,320
perspective or something?
Because if if I hear crying or
363
00:16:14,330 --> 00:16:17,520
screaming and it's like 2 in the
afternoon, I'm well rested on
364
00:16:17,530 --> 00:16:18,940
that.
Well darling, come here.
365
00:16:18,950 --> 00:16:20,880
Let me let me burp you.
Ohh.
366
00:16:20,890 --> 00:16:24,620
Come on baby, if it's half one
in the morning and he's been up
367
00:16:24,630 --> 00:16:28,060
for four hours, I'm like, can
you please go to sleep, little
368
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,740
man?
And we can't have a technique,
369
00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:33,100
haven't we?
A little way to be angry, but do
370
00:16:33,110 --> 00:16:34,710
it in a really nice way for our
baby.
371
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,520
So I was singing, I've sung a
quite a few songs something last
372
00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:42,330
night about Ohh yeah, I was
saying like please shut up or
373
00:16:42,340 --> 00:16:45,890
Daddy's gonna have a meltdown.
Daddy's gonna have a meltdown
374
00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:47,110
that is going to have a
meltdown.
375
00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,970
I'm just singing to her this
song like almost crying because
376
00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:52,790
she just I'm just so tired.
It's like 4 in the morning.
377
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:54,290
It's the third time I've been
up.
378
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:56,670
I just want.
I just want to sleep.
379
00:16:57,930 --> 00:17:00,190
Yeah, but you've been doing as
well and you just singing stupid
380
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:03,010
songs and just sing absolutely
stupid songs and you know,
381
00:17:03,020 --> 00:17:05,150
change lyrics.
I, I I sing nonsense to and
382
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:07,390
constantly.
There's one song.
383
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,010
What is it?
Ohh.
384
00:17:09,339 --> 00:17:11,790
I think it's from Matilda the
musical that sometimes you have
385
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,359
to be a bit naughty or something
like that.
386
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,680
And the joke is that I just
don't know the lyrics to the
387
00:17:15,690 --> 00:17:17,980
song and I completely make up
every single time.
388
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:21,510
And now there's there's change.
There's like the word story
389
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,210
constantly in there and I'm
like, this is amazing.
390
00:17:23,220 --> 00:17:25,470
It rhymes with Rory.
So now I just say the name
391
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:29,580
talking absolute rubbish.
But can I say one thing, the
392
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:32,000
best thing, the best thing
that's happened this whole time?
393
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:35,260
Because I'm gonna say it again.
It's really hard.
394
00:17:35,270 --> 00:17:37,660
And I don't care how many times
say I don't care if people get
395
00:17:37,670 --> 00:17:40,480
annoyed at me for being like,
ohh, it's your baby, you know
396
00:17:40,490 --> 00:17:44,100
some boomers are like.
Ohh yeah, he's not.
397
00:17:44,110 --> 00:17:45,520
He's now it's hard.
It's really hard.
398
00:17:45,530 --> 00:17:48,620
It's really tricky.
But Rory Smart the other day
399
00:17:48,930 --> 00:17:52,580
and.
You said I I honestly like
400
00:17:52,590 --> 00:17:54,320
legit.
Anyone listening this fire?
401
00:17:54,330 --> 00:17:56,070
You get this little tidbit
again, I've said this plenty of
402
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,080
times on podcast.
Just cried.
403
00:17:58,130 --> 00:18:00,560
Just absolutely.
Just because it was just
404
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,360
unbelievable because you can
tell the difference.
405
00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:05,450
He's been doing gassy farts,
smiles forever, you know,
406
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:06,450
Little.
Yeah, a little.
407
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:08,630
Turn up at the cheeks.
He's trying to push out a fart
408
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:09,590
or something.
Yeah, yeah.
409
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,210
But this was, you know, him
responding to, like, me being
410
00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:14,530
silly and saying his name and
his whole face lit up.
411
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:18,430
And I was reading them a story.
I was reading a book and it was
412
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,080
just so special.
It was just so crazy.
413
00:18:20,090 --> 00:18:23,290
And now I've got this really
strong urge to constantly read
414
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:25,160
to him as well because it
happened when we were reading
415
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:27,890
the book and, yeah, I don't
know, it's, it's a weird one.
416
00:18:28,310 --> 00:18:30,590
One thing I was gonna ask you,
because you were a bit sceptical
417
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:32,830
about reading, weren't you?
Like in the womb and stuff.
418
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:36,200
Yeah I mean it sense.
I don't I I always took the mic
419
00:18:36,210 --> 00:18:38,230
but it doesn't make sense like
well yeah.
420
00:18:38,270 --> 00:18:40,240
Should I read in the room
because they just developing.
421
00:18:40,250 --> 00:18:44,280
Is there any point umm have you
have you had any urges yet to
422
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:48,400
kind of do things that you don't
think necessarily make logical
423
00:18:48,410 --> 00:18:51,000
sense Before baby came but now
babies here you're like ohh, I'd
424
00:18:51,010 --> 00:18:53,270
want to do all the things.
Well, I guess the reading is
425
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,680
kind of one because I, and I
guess it's more it's not.
426
00:18:55,690 --> 00:18:57,560
I have a problem with reading.
I just knew that it was just
427
00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,040
about them hearing your voice
and language.
428
00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:01,200
It's not about them reading an
actual book.
429
00:19:01,210 --> 00:19:03,120
Yeah, enjoying the book because.
You talking to them?
430
00:19:03,170 --> 00:19:05,290
That's a good idea.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
431
00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:08,000
Like that's not the key bit,
It's the voice like interaction.
432
00:19:08,070 --> 00:19:09,980
So I have been, I have been
making sure I did that a lot,
433
00:19:09,990 --> 00:19:14,820
like really just talking to her
just all the time trying to sort
434
00:19:14,830 --> 00:19:16,940
of especially when she's awake,
sort of trying to really lock
435
00:19:16,950 --> 00:19:19,640
eyes.
Cuz I heard that they get from a
436
00:19:19,650 --> 00:19:21,350
lot of that connection for eye
contact.
437
00:19:21,390 --> 00:19:24,280
So really trying to just hold
our eye contact and talk to her.
438
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,680
We've got those little black and
white cards just like trying to
439
00:19:26,690 --> 00:19:29,450
stimulate her vision.
And she responded to her first
440
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:32,340
time a little bit today, like I
did it on like day one.
441
00:19:32,420 --> 00:19:34,740
She's just she's literally a
potato at this point.
442
00:19:34,830 --> 00:19:39,230
Can't see like past their own
hand and I'm like 7 times 6 God.
443
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:43,540
Look at these black ducks on a
white background and but today I
444
00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:46,030
gave her some like stripey
patterns and things and her she
445
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:49,070
was I was moving it and she
really was like tracking it and
446
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,730
and looking I was thinking these
are cool little things like they
447
00:19:51,740 --> 00:19:54,430
probably they probably do
nothing but I just think
448
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:57,130
whatever is making a look at
something so that's cool I'll do
449
00:19:57,140 --> 00:19:59,570
that.
It doesn't matter.
450
00:19:59,610 --> 00:20:01,710
It doesn't matter because the
end of the day you're gonna
451
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:03,590
you're gonna grasp on to to
anything.
452
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,390
I think we we could chat and
chat and chat and chat.
453
00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:08,790
Let's round this off because you
know, we wanna go and see our
454
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:09,810
children, wanna go see our
little.
455
00:20:09,820 --> 00:20:12,290
Baby, here we are.
Look, I've got there's two ways
456
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:14,570
around this off there's one we
can do one, something really,
457
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:16,490
really real about the NHS, and
we can have a proper
458
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:18,190
conversation about that.
We could save that for another
459
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,620
time.
Or we can just talk a couple of
460
00:20:20,630 --> 00:20:24,670
more funny stories about baby,
because I do kind of want to say
461
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,770
something about about baby
weeping and pooing.
462
00:20:28,940 --> 00:20:30,670
OK.
Do you think the NHS thing we
463
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:32,890
could do in like 3 minutes, 4
minutes?
464
00:20:32,990 --> 00:20:37,200
No, I think there's a big
conversation and I actually
465
00:20:37,210 --> 00:20:39,360
thinking now it's a hook to come
and listen to our next episode
466
00:20:39,370 --> 00:20:41,020
whenever that's gonna be quite
tired.
467
00:20:41,650 --> 00:20:43,760
Really.
Thought you just say yes.
468
00:20:44,490 --> 00:20:47,260
I realised I was like actually
that's a proper, that's a proper
469
00:20:47,270 --> 00:20:49,830
serious meat conversation about
like systems and things because
470
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,460
I do want to talk about it.
We had a both an amazing
471
00:20:52,470 --> 00:20:57,210
experience but also on on an
objective level also made us put
472
00:20:57,220 --> 00:20:59,010
us in a really bad position
where we could potentially have
473
00:20:59,020 --> 00:21:00,730
lost our baby.
And that's a really, really,
474
00:21:00,740 --> 00:21:02,640
really big and difficult
conversation to have and maybe
475
00:21:02,650 --> 00:21:05,090
we'll save that one.
So for now, let's talk about
476
00:21:05,260 --> 00:21:07,400
That's about paying poo.
Let's get let's get light
477
00:21:07,410 --> 00:21:09,710
hearted, shall we?
So going back in time a bit,
478
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:11,230
right?
I remember when you had me in
479
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,450
Stitches and everyone that was
listening.
480
00:21:13,460 --> 00:21:15,690
If you haven't listened to the
episode, by the way, where about
481
00:21:15,700 --> 00:21:18,570
Dylan becoming a dad?
I What was it called the
482
00:21:18,580 --> 00:21:20,510
episode?
Of becoming a parent and
483
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,750
celebrating farts.
Something like that, yeah.
484
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,730
You have to go and listen to it.
It's by far our best episode in
485
00:21:25,740 --> 00:21:27,970
terms of just pure laughter
anyway.
486
00:21:27,980 --> 00:21:31,500
But you told a story about Rory
just like peeing all over you.
487
00:21:31,510 --> 00:21:32,930
That's one of your many stories,
right?
488
00:21:32,940 --> 00:21:35,580
And and I remember thinking I'm
so glad I'm having a girl
489
00:21:36,270 --> 00:21:39,520
because with boys obviously they
got that little Willy just going
490
00:21:39,530 --> 00:21:40,800
everywhere.
Just being everywhere you know
491
00:21:40,810 --> 00:21:44,640
little hose pipe.
Yes, I was thinking ohh, at
492
00:21:44,650 --> 00:21:47,050
least I've got a girl.
And I do know that you know
493
00:21:47,060 --> 00:21:49,320
quite often when you take
nappies off children they like
494
00:21:49,330 --> 00:21:51,310
to wee cause it's cold.
It's that stimulus especially
495
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:52,330
with like a wet wipe or
something.
496
00:21:52,340 --> 00:21:56,250
They just wanna wee and I have
been weed on so many times
497
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,930
already and.
Before the birth.
498
00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:03,760
Yeah, but this is one time I
just want to tell you about
499
00:22:03,770 --> 00:22:06,620
because it made me laugh
thinking of you and Rory where I
500
00:22:06,630 --> 00:22:10,110
was changing her nappy and I'd
already I'd thought, ohh, well
501
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:12,580
at least she's not got a Willy,
you know, if she wishes she
502
00:22:12,590 --> 00:22:15,530
wees.
And I pulled her legs back and I
503
00:22:15,540 --> 00:22:21,510
swear to God, she projectile
peed all over everything, like
504
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:23,510
all over me, all over the map.
And I was.
505
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:24,930
I just.
I looked at her and thought, I
506
00:22:24,940 --> 00:22:29,430
can't believe I I thought I'd
got away with this and she's
507
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:32,100
just peeing everywhere, like
just feel like a fountain.
508
00:22:32,230 --> 00:22:34,660
Is that even this, this is where
we really show our, you know,
509
00:22:34,670 --> 00:22:36,700
male bias here?
Is that a thing?
510
00:22:36,870 --> 00:22:37,620
Like really?
I mean.
511
00:22:37,990 --> 00:22:39,860
This woman listening to this
guy, I can do that.
512
00:22:39,870 --> 00:22:43,260
We can about possible.
I mean, I'm gonna guess it
513
00:22:43,270 --> 00:22:44,350
depends on how bursting you
work.
514
00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:45,440
That was the biggest wish you
had.
515
00:22:45,510 --> 00:22:47,650
All the other ones have been a
little trickles have not been a
516
00:22:47,660 --> 00:22:49,440
problem.
So all this time, women could
517
00:22:49,450 --> 00:22:50,850
have used the urinal.
Is that what we're saying?
518
00:22:50,860 --> 00:22:51,860
Yeah, basically.
Women.
519
00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:55,220
Are you having us on?
We're on to you now.
520
00:22:55,410 --> 00:22:58,800
You just wanna fancy cubicle?
Ohh, we need it.
521
00:22:58,810 --> 00:22:59,870
We need it.
We can't aim.
522
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:01,700
Yes you can.
Yes you can.
523
00:23:01,710 --> 00:23:03,860
That's seen.
It, Revit and AIM, all you have
524
00:23:03,870 --> 00:23:06,860
to do is lean back legs in the
air.
525
00:23:06,870 --> 00:23:09,640
It's really easy.
OK, well, no, we're no, we're
526
00:23:09,650 --> 00:23:12,020
not gonna stop mansplaining.
How to wee to half the
527
00:23:12,030 --> 00:23:14,220
population.
Just love the idea of that being
528
00:23:14,330 --> 00:23:16,020
a legitimate way that people go
to the toilet.
529
00:23:16,620 --> 00:23:18,240
Ohh yeah.
Has anyone got the changing mat
530
00:23:18,250 --> 00:23:19,390
room?
I just need the big giant
531
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:20,900
changing maps we're gonna lay
down.
532
00:23:22,900 --> 00:23:24,350
Maybe that's the secret of the
women.
533
00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:25,470
I've never been in there.
Maybe.
534
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,540
Maybe that's what happens.
It's like archery on the ceiling
535
00:23:27,550 --> 00:23:30,070
or something and just lie down.
You get 10 points.
536
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,850
I don't know.
I don't know Ohh man.
537
00:23:32,860 --> 00:23:35,000
But I wanted to shout with you
because it did make me laugh.
538
00:23:35,010 --> 00:23:37,290
I thought I got away with it.
I didn't.
539
00:23:37,340 --> 00:23:38,850
I didn't.
But there'll be plenty more We
540
00:23:38,860 --> 00:23:43,740
and Poo stories, I'm sure.
I think we MP stories always go
541
00:23:43,750 --> 00:23:46,540
down a treat.
This is a bite size episode.
542
00:23:46,610 --> 00:23:48,930
Like we said, you know, we're
gonna aim to try and get a real
543
00:23:48,940 --> 00:23:51,180
episode done this week, but it
just might not happen guys and
544
00:23:51,190 --> 00:23:53,000
I'm sure you can appreciate why
that's the case.
545
00:23:53,010 --> 00:23:54,600
So we, you know, we'll be in
touch.
546
00:23:54,690 --> 00:23:57,610
One last thing I wanted to say
before we go, a fantastic week
547
00:23:57,620 --> 00:24:00,360
for our Instagram for our
following have over 1000
548
00:24:00,370 --> 00:24:03,160
followers now on our Instagram
page dedicated to the podcast.
549
00:24:03,170 --> 00:24:05,720
If you're one of the new
listeners, you're an absolute
550
00:24:05,730 --> 00:24:07,080
legend.
Send us a message, because I've
551
00:24:07,090 --> 00:24:09,860
been getting messages, Hayden,
from messages that I've said to
552
00:24:09,870 --> 00:24:13,450
people about six months ago.
Previous podcast where I said
553
00:24:13,500 --> 00:24:17,160
send this an emoji that's come
up you know the the episode so
554
00:24:17,170 --> 00:24:20,470
far I got a seal and a panda and
I was like what what is this
555
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:24,440
what you ohh just clicked and
there's one last thing I wanna
556
00:24:24,450 --> 00:24:26,930
ask for Hayden.
I'm not asked for in a while.
557
00:24:26,970 --> 00:24:29,920
I bet you can probably guess
what it might be because we had
558
00:24:29,930 --> 00:24:32,800
a flurry of them when it was at
the start and we got a really
559
00:24:32,810 --> 00:24:35,880
high number of reviews, and
reviews really help us out.
560
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,240
We've been stuck on the same
number for a little while now.
561
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,530
If you're a listener, you've
been listening for a while, and
562
00:24:40,540 --> 00:24:43,780
you haven't done it yet, please
do consider giving us a bit of
563
00:24:43,850 --> 00:24:46,450
think of the children.
Yeah, think of the think of the
564
00:24:46,460 --> 00:24:47,330
children.
Would you?
565
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:49,280
Are you going to deny a child a
review?
566
00:24:50,850 --> 00:24:53,270
Don't know about that.
Don't know because my real tell
567
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:54,610
them.
We will tell them.
568
00:24:54,620 --> 00:24:56,330
We're feeding them.
That's you didn't give us a
569
00:24:56,340 --> 00:24:59,570
review, You'll make them cry, so
I think that's fair enough.
570
00:24:59,580 --> 00:25:01,870
That's a nice, polite way to ask
our viewers.
571
00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:04,790
Customers as it were customers
and if you are viewing, I hope
572
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:06,630
you enjoyed it today.
There has been a little bit of
573
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,590
sick on my jumper this whole
time.
574
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:13,090
Anyone with a keen eye.
So another reason to get a view
575
00:25:13,100 --> 00:25:16,350
in these episodes, Guys, you're
missing out.
576
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,130
Number one, top tip, Do not wear
black when you're nursing a
577
00:25:19,140 --> 00:25:22,090
child.
Or both actually.
578
00:25:22,100 --> 00:25:23,920
Just don't wear clothes because
they just get ruined so.
579
00:25:23,930 --> 00:25:25,780
You're right.
Top ten anyway, right?
580
00:25:25,970 --> 00:25:27,180
Anyway, should we wrap it up
there?
581
00:25:27,190 --> 00:25:28,720
Guys, Thank you so much for
listening.
582
00:25:28,910 --> 00:25:31,020
I'm going to leave it with
Hayden to sign us off with his
583
00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:33,240
sleep deprived little head.
Cool.
584
00:25:34,620 --> 00:25:36,110
See you later.
Thanks everyone.
